Pink Booklet

[Aura]

Dear Diary.

There is far to much to tell. Let's just pretend the past few days didn't happen, ok.

Deal.

-Cherry

[Aura]

Dear Diary,

Well what’s been happening in my life has been ******* bonkers. Vaughn got injured and well I did everything within my power to heal him and make it better; which I did. He yanked me into his arms and said he was much better, like I took all his pain away. Then I asked him about it the next day and he didn’t recall a thing. That, that right there broke me into tiny miniature pieces... I cried and I packed and I went to see my father’s grave. Just got on a train and traveled to see the one man who gave birth to me, so to speak. I wrote him a note while on the train... A note for his eyes only.

Dear Dad,

Hi dad, It’s me, your one and only. I’m the train right now coming to see you, I miss you so much. In case you didn’t know I’m a vampire right now. That’s right a vampire, I was shot and so close to seeing you again, so close I swore it was you I felt under my fingers; but Daddy that wasn’t you. I miss your voice and your guidance right now; I could really use your words of wisdom. I’m lost Daddy and I’m scared I’m in over my head. Why couldn’t you be here to teach me about boys, about men. I’m so lost at what to do. You taught me to be honest, so I have been but me expressing my feelings is always too much. I know you were a very closed man, I could have learnt from you, maybe understand more than I do now; maybe I’d have the man I care so much about in my arms and willing to be mine alone. I don’t know, I don’t know anything.

My life was never same since that day in the hospital, the day you died. I remember what you told, your exact words. “You’ll be fine, I’ll make sure of it. I love you princess.” I’m failing to see how this is fine.

Sometimes I swear I hear your voice, when I wake up or right before I head to sleep. I keep my eyes open hoping to catch a glimpse of you but you never show up, you never come. All your items I took he found. He found them Daddy. I don’t know how he knew they were there but he did. Why is my past getting projected into his mind, why does he know these things that I keep so far hidden? I have to try, I have been trying yet it’s still not slow enough. If I didn’t try we’d be standing still and nothing would ever happen between us.

Daddy, your little girl needs you. How did he not remember? I took such good care of him, I did. He asked for my hand and I gave it to him, he pulled me into arms and held me so tight. I felt, at peace, relaxed and like I belonged for once. Since you left I never felt like I belonged anywhere other than in the family I am now but his arms... His arms are where I always want to be now. When I told him about it he... He didn’t remember any of it, didn’t recall a thing. I swear it happened; I know it did.

I have two men keeping me safe, and a bunch of men protecting me. Micah and Chase are the fathers in my life right now, they are both really sweet and I can turn to them both when in need. I have siblings now, a lot of them actually – To many to even keep track of. I’ll be seeing you soon Daddy, do not fear I’ll be there to keep you company, I bet you’ve been so lonely there by yourself. We have so much to catch up on, I’ll tell you everything, even if I look weird talking to a grave.

Micah and Chase have been doing a great job in raising me, I love them both so much. Micah is my sanity right now, he is making sure my feet stay planted firmly on the ground; I owe him a lot. I got tattoos, more to come too actually, I enjoy being with Shades, and shopping and hunting with him. Chase I have yet to really see much of but maybe with time he will come around more and we can form a really good relationship; he is my maker afterall. You'd like them both dad, you really would.

Keep me safe, don’t forget me, I beg you.
-Aura, your princess

After I got off the train I went straight to the store to buy a giant try of forget me not’s, kind of corny I know but I needed to make Father’s grave beautiful and I needed an annual flower. I took the bus to the grave site and scanned the stones for ages; it had been so long since I took a visit there. I used to go there when I snuck out of the homes I lived it, it was the only place I truly felt safe, by the side of my daddy.

I dropped my bags and got to work, I chopped the **** out of the soil with my hunting knife and raked through it with my fingers, it looked like great soil so I took a chance. After clearing away the grass in front of his stone I cleaned the stone up itself, it have ivy and **** all over it blocking his name; that man deserved to be remembered and noticed. I began planting, there was so many miniature sections of flowers, it took forever to dig the holes with my hairs, to split the roots and then bury them; I hope they flourish. With that all done and said I took out my water bottle and gave them a good soaking, mmm water and what not. I knew if I left the note there someone was bound to find it and being noisy ******* humans they would read it and notice the part about me being a vampire. So in a can I burnt it, ashes to ashes and that mumbo jumbo. I sprinkled the ashes in with the soil and moved it all around, my thoughts lost forever.

I sent a text to Vaughn and he didn’t seem to enthralled I was away... The boy confuses me to no end. Micah has told me to move on from him; I honestly don’t know if I can. Micah thinks he’s playing games with me and that he is only coming to me when he wants something – I don’t know what to do when it comes to Vaughn, I just need a ******* hint, any hint to know what to do; I feel so utterly frozen in place when it comes to him and I. I just want... a hint. A clue maybe, a riddle, or maybe even a straight ******* answer; but of course, I get nothing but “Aura, why do you ask these questions?” Oh, I don’t know Vaughn, you never tell me a god damn thing!

Ah... Mini venting rampage... Sorry booklet.

Anyways I took my jar full of soil and headed home, I stayed at his grave for 2 nights and talked to him about a bunch of stuff. I told him about Spencer and Chase, the ginger kid who shot me and Micah. I also told him about my 3 tattoos, Snickers, my crazy old Loon Mr. Scratch who by the way I miss like **** right now. I told him about zombies, and the Hellhounds’ not to mention my friends there like Jac and Rocklin – Both are brilliant pires by the way. I shared my stories of frustration and anger, happiness and sorrows but most of all I told him about my journeys.

I slept by his side and when the morning came I was off and ready to go, before I knew it I was on the train home when I got a text to hit Rocklin. Chad is going to get a ear full from me when I see him; Rocklin is awesome and cool after all, more so then many so he claims. ******* family, what am I going to do with them? Pathetic.

After getting into the station late that very same night I had my headphones in and I ran into a man, a strange, quiet little man who actually knocked my father’s soil from my arms... I screamed, rather loudly thinking it was going to shatter on the ground but I waited and after a moment there was no crashing sound; the man had caught the jar and saved my father from getting scattered among the Harper Rock slim; the streets are not always that clean... He seemed very nice, I welled up and hugged him without thinking; he saved my father and I was very grateful. I found out his name was Mordecai and well I gave him the nickname Cai. We exchanged numbers and we went our separate ways; the boy looked lonely, just as lonely as I felt.

Now, finally catching up to today Vaughn refused to see me, apparently he didn’t want me to come back and Micah has a new son (Yay?). I’m kind of excited to meet him, I hear he’s an asshole, but meh we’ll see. I talked to Pa for a long time, a long, long, LONG, time. He is still insisting I move on from Vaughn, but sometimes things are more easily said than done, if you catch my drift. He still thinks I’d be better off without him... My head and stomach hurts just thinking about leaving him, it’s been months of trying, months of asking questions like “Tell me what is going on in your head?” “Do you actually like me?” “Should I just move on, throw me a bone here.” Nothing, bubkiss, zip. Being a girl is frustrating, I’m telling you.

So.....

I called Cai, mhmm. He and I met at the cemetery and talked for a long time about our sires, and families. I told him about Chase and Micah and how I felt kind of like an outcast in the family. It sucks being the only one that really feels, and can eat and be perky... I tend to have a lot of energy and I like hugs. Anyways, back to Cai. We sat among the graves and just opened up to each other about a lot of things, it was nice having someone to sit down and just talk to without worrying someone might not like what comes out. He listens, boy does he listen but I can tell he is still very shy around me which is ok. I’m sure with time he can open up to me like any friend would.

We have a time planned to go hunting tomorrow, he wants to go hunting with me; I’m so excited! Someone actually wanting to go hunting with me, someone actually cares. I’m looking forward to slicing up the zombies of Harper Rock. Oh, and guess what Booklet, I’m so bloody close to my katana that I can taste it and feel it within my grasp! Maybe, if everything goes well I can buy it tomorrow if I find just the right vampires with loot in their pockets – Wish my luck!

But, it’s time for sleep. A fun filled day and tomorrow just looks better then today. Goodnight Booklet, blue sheets here I come.

-Cherry



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OOC Note: Micah is aware of where Aura holds her Diary and he's been given permission to write in this thread if he desires.

[Micah]

He didn't want to do this, but Aura was different. She wasn't as affectionate and Micah could tell that something was bothering her and she was afraid to tell him. He moved silently, to where she kept her journal and opened it, turning the pages until he came to the last entry. A slight twinge of guilt made him pause, but he shrugged it off and started to read.

When he was finished, he sat unmoving for the longest time before he picked up a pen and scrawled a few lines on the page under the last entry.

Babydoll~

I don't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I want you to know that you are dear to me. You may not be my childe, it's not my blood that runs through your veins (even if I wish that it were) but you are my daughter. In everything that counts, and no matter what happens, that will never change.

I'm sorry if me telling you to move on from my childe hurts you. Vaughn is...complicated. I don't think he will ever be ready for a real relationship, and every time I tell you this, it pains me. Because I see how much you love him, and how much it hurts you to know that those feelings aren't returned. I want you happy babydoll, and even though it pains me to say so, I think the best thing for you to do is to just try to pick of the pieces of your shattered heart and move on. Just know that I am always here, I'm a text away and regardless of what I'm feeling, I will always make time for you. I love you.

~Micah

He returned the journal and pen to their original position and slipped out undetected.

[Aura]

After a long day of fighting and testing out her new sword she finally returned home and showered. She was exhausted and out of energy by the time she had dried herself off. Collapsing on her bed in only her towel she reached into her night stand and pulled out the fake bottom and retrieved her pink journal. She flipped through the pages of handwritten events and smiled, they were all her memories, her emotions frozen in place for her to read over for the rest of her days.

When she went to the page that was supposed to be for today entry she found blue pen instead of her usual pink; it seems her father had been checking in on her and left her a note.

She wanted to get comfortable while she read her father’s message, if he took the time to sneak in and find it his message had to of been important. She slowly shifted her position on the bed so her back was resting against the mountain of pillows she used to sleep and began to read. The first sentence making her smile, he meant the world to her as well, but it was the rest of the passage that changed her mood. As her eyes scanned each word her vision grew more and more blurry for tears were clouding her vision. She knew Vaughn was complicated, but isn’t every relationship. He had told her nearly every day that Vaughn wasn’t worth it, she deserved someone to stand by her and actually want to be around her; oh course she agreed but her mind only saw Vaughn.

Reaching up she rubbed her eyes with the fingers trying to catch each tear before they fell on her cheek, it hurt her to even think about moving on but maybe, just maybe he was right and it was time. She wept openly in her room, no one was around to hear her sobs or sniffles, no one was there to ask what was wrong; instead she picked up her pen and began to write.

Pa,

You found me, well my diary at least, bravo. As I sit here reading what you wrote it hurts me to think that maybe you are right, that maybe he will never truly care about me. We had a long talk yesterday, and well we promised each other something and hopefully it works to our advantage and we grow closer but only time will tell. I’m doing alright, I am smiling still and enjoying life the best I can though I miss you.

Our bond is strong, and I’m closer to you than anyone else; you know if something was wrong you’d be the first person I seek. You’ve been so supportive of me in my time here and have taught me so much; you must know I am very grateful for you watchful eyes and protective nature.

Now, if you read this here is a little advice for you... I know you are stubborn and I know she has hurt you but in a way you two complete each other. I hear the emptiness in your voice when you talk about missing her because she is too busy, I also know it can be frustrating because I go through the same thing. I know you love her more than anything in this world and feeling like you’re other half isn’t around is the most annoying thing on this planet but if you want that feeling to stop you have to suck up your pride and claim what is yours; and Micah, she is yours. But, if you’re lucky... She’ll come to you, which I hope she does because seeing you so upset frustrates me. I know I can’t help make this better that only she can so... I’m crossing my fingers.

Go get her tiger; I want to hear her screaming from next door or, I hope she makes you scream instead. Either way, loud yelling is what I want to hear, I know things will be back to normal then.

-Your Babydoll.

P.S – Thanks for caring Shades, we need to go see Jimmy soon.

After writing her little spiel she smiled and wiped off the remaining tears with her arm, she had a lot to think about and tons to consider. She closed her booklet and tossed it on the end of the bed; she slowly began to shuffle down the mattress until she was lying on her side. She plugged in her headphones and closed her eyes, her thoughts buzzing like usual.

[Aura]

Dear Diary,

So much as taken place within the last evening or so I don’t even know where to begin. Vaughn and I are, well connected now by something I found out. In a way it is good I know, it explains so much and I understand now that’s I’ve witnessed this with my own eyes. I’m not scared, I’m really not I’m just worried now that I know will he run from me all together or will this be the thing that finally united us in one way or another.

Micah is still desperately trying to get me to move on from Vaughn, I know he is doing this because he cares so much for me as I do for him; but leaving Vaughn isn’t all that easy. I won’t explain what took place or what I saw for that is for my eyes and my knowledge only, sorry booklet I know you are just dying to know what changed but it’s a secret. Do you think I should listen to Micah Booklet? Should I move on from the man I treasure so dearly, should I give up on my adventure to try and win him over? The thought seems truly impossible but what if that’s what he wants... The thought of him with any other girl, any other woman strings and burns like the sun kissing my flesh but I can’t seem to push the thought from my mind. He seems to get so angry when I mention another male, and then he puts across the point that he doesn’t care what I do with boys; which is n.o.t.h.i.n.g by the way. Vaughn is the only man I’ve been with in that sense. At times I wish I could be a telepath, if even for a moment to sneak into his thoughts and understand him better.

I’ve been living in Chase’s apartment for the past few weeks now, I’ve only really entered Scorpia’s apartment on the fluke that I needed to talk to Micah about a few things. Life is quiet at Chases my sibling all lay down scattered among the floor and they don’t move for days at a time... I have the apartment to myself most of the time and I’m thinking it’s time to finally get out on my own. I plan to have an apartment by any means, if I could survive in Scorpias and Chases apartment without speaking a word to people I can most certainly live in my own apartment and not go mad.

Can you imagine it booklet, our own little place were only who we want will be allowed in. We can hide and not be found for days at a time and we can dance and bake all we want. I think vanishing from a few things would be best. Yes... It would be for the best that I remain on my own. Too many people have crushed me, made me believe they cared and then stepped on me with spiked boots. I trust only 10 or less people, only they know my thoughts and reasoning for wanting to move away. Storm and I will be fine.

I need to made a date to see Mord again... I've been busy getting things ready I haven't had the chance to really see him lately. I hope he is well...

Dad if you are up there, if you can hear me, please, please help me get through this.

Let's leave on a high note,

Dear Aura,

Things will get better. Keep your chin up. You only need yourself in this world, you’ve been fine then you’ll be fine now.
Sincerely,
Aura.

Since the youtube code won't work, here's the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxDcWvZC ... re=related

[Aura]

Dear Diary,

First off let me say I’m sorry for neglecting you... You’ve been packed away for a few days and I really couldn’t remember what box I put you in... But, today I found you... YAY!! Celebration time! So anyways what’s been happening... Vaughn and I have stopped talking for a little bit... It’s killing me to not go to him but of course I gave in and I went to see him. Did I see him though, no of course not. I saw a man who didn’t care about me, nor my feelings what so ever. He just left me there in the elevator as he went to see his... ‘lady friend.’ I want to meet this *****, I’ll slice her open myself! But, that’s me allowing my emotions to get the better of me, easy Aura... Breathe, just take a breath and everything will be fine.

I haven’t seen him since but Rocklin and I started talking for the first time in awhile... but then he grew quiet on me and I knew the conversation was just about over, still I adore him. Uhm... I saw Old Loon! I know, the fuckers been hiding! Arg, it was so good to hug him again, the crazy ******** gives the best hugs and he can still change my sad mood to happy in almost an instant.

Note to self: Go dancing with Old fart s.o.o.n! Dance your heart out and don’t give a **** what anyone thinks.

P.s wear something HOT!

P.p.s Don’t let Hel find out, he will kill you for dressing d-o-w-n.

P.p.p.s Drink before dancing... You don’t need to bite someone while in the club.

Ok now where was I... Ah yes, last night. So Micah came over and helped me pack, it was great seeing him again, after Vaughn said what he did I had been hesitant to go to Micah just in case I did something wrong, but I couldn’t just not see him, he is basically the only father figure I know in this city. We talked about a lot of things, feelings mostly and well I trust him enough with mine as he trusts me with his; he really is wonderful.

Mal and I exchanged bracelets, I gave him a pink friendship bracelet and he gave me a black leather bracelet. I completely refuse to take it off, it symbolizes us being close, he is a brother I can turn to no matter what I am feeling and I know without a doubt he won’t judge me. He brought me cupcakes too... Chalk one up for Snickers, he’s on my good side. We are thinking about going to get another tattoo him and I, of course Micah will come again. He was there when I got my feather tattoo under my breasts, they look gorgeous and they are just perfect. I have to teacher him to bake, I promised.

Surprisingly enough Hel has come to see me a few times, our conversations have been longer than most and I find myself smiling more around him. Something about him has changed, something I feel like I can relate to in some form or another and I won’t say what because well, even that is uncertain.

OH!

Diary, I haven’t told you the best part, Hel killed As, he got the final blow! I am so proud of him, I know how much he has worked on his skills. When I saw what he did I think I was actually glowing with pride. That’s Hel, my brother, my fellow hound, my fighting partner. Even thinking back on it gives me a rush. So. *******. Cool!

Vaughn and I are talking again, I'm so glad. We are friends, and I'm so happy. Slowly, if things turn out good maybe then we can continue what we started so long back. I will not treat him like I love him but I will treat him as my closest friend in the entire world. I will be there for him to lean on, I will be there to listen to everything he wants to say. I can't bare to lose him all together, that would upset me beyond words. So, friends we shall be until things either change, or if they don't then I will have someone I can count on more then anyone.

To a new beginning with Vaughn and I. To a new start as friends and a bond that grows naturally. I'm thinking of taking him to see my father's grave. It will be something we can share together as friends. A weak spot for me, I hope he doesn't judge me for not being strong in this but he needs to know. I really care about what he thinks and says, he opinions matter to me.

Anyways, back to unpacking. I’m so excited to start this new beginning. Let's unpack in our panties while dancing to music.

-Cherry

[Aura]

Dear Diary,

Not much to say for this entry.

I’ve come to the conclusion of one thing. People are ******* lairs. They use and abuse. They all have some sort of stick stuck up their *** and my life is back to how it was.

Living alone and not able to trust anyone at all with anything. Minus the rare few special people.

-Cherry.

I've never wanted to return to my home town so badly... I sense an adventure.

Youtube link doesn't work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYIAfiVGluk&ob=av2n

[Aura]

Dear Dairy,

Again I have neglected you and I am sorry. Things have been getting for me, I actually feel like I have a family, well part of one at least. Things are about to change, big time... I have childes to worry about now, 3 of them actually, a girl and 2 random boys. Slowly they are becoming my world, they make me smile the more I see and talk to them, they are growing rather fast too.

Oh, did I tell you I left the Hounds? Yah... Long story behind that, long, long story that I rather not get into for its far too messy. I’m a free soul right now, considering joining the Worthington’s once again, if they can actually prove to be a family. I hate drama, to much drama leaves my head spinning and I rather not get whip lash from the constant dickering; my views is you got a problem solve it in private, the entire city need not know what’s going on.

My head still hurts, after Hel shot me in the head it’s taken some time to get over it and well i’m still healing from it 7 days later. I hope it goes away soon, I’m so hungry I could eat a hand full of humans, or even grosser, a million, billion rats; I’d rather take the humans thanks. Maverick changed my bandages today, the boy is becoming a wonderful nurse to me, he even brought me a female to feed on so I could have my daily intake of blood... Sweet kid.

Right now I am laying in the grass in the forest, hiding from nearly everyone. I’m lying on a blanket and Storm is trotting around me trying to catch a grass hopper... He isn’t even close, but it’s still completely adorable. My iPod is blasting a beautiful song and I’m just relaxing here under the shelter of the trees. Micah and I were supposed to go for slushies but things didn’t turn out that way.

I’m just going to lay here with my eyes closed, and hopefully this music takes me to a far away place.

-Cherry.

[Aura]

Dear Diary,

Sorry, booklet! Damnit I should really take you everywhere I go but I don’t want people finding out my secrets in case they stumble upon it. Anyways I hope you are enjoying your new home, it’s beautiful isn’t it; and can you really believe it’s ours? Well it’s home sweet home!

What’s been going on... Let’s do some point form happenings shall we.
 Left the hounds
 Got a new childe – Maverick – I love him so much, he is making me so proud.
 Sheltering my beautiful sister Merrick
 Chase returned for a moment!

I’m going to go into detail on that last point. Chase awoke a moment and I actually caught him. Bloody hell it’s been months since my eyes have seen his face; he is a sight for sore eyes. I’ve longed to be in his arms for so long, to embrace my maker and tell him everything he has missed within his months of slumber. I hope sometime soon he can Micah and meet, my maker and father like figure in one room together – Eh... I don’t know how well that will go but they need to know about each other and if all works out in my favour they will become great friends! Hopefully, I’m crossing my fingers.

What else... Oh, Merc got... Two mother ******* head wounds. Two! That’s so many days of waiting for her butt to get better. Truthfully those days have been so lonely... I know I have my family all around but sometimes a girl just needs a female to talk to and Merc was my female. I didn’t know what to do so I took it upon myself to protect her the best I could, and as quickly as I could before anyone else got to my poor girl. I’m sad to say that someone took her from me and well that’s life I guess... Pretty shitty but she is back now so yay!!!! And don’t tell a soul booklet, but when she wasn’t under my watch, she snuck out to come see me, her and I watched movies until we both fell asleep. I rather enjoyed that time we spent together but before I knew it, it was over. I need serious girl time with her.

What else... what else. Oh Vaughn’s bounty was super high and he was chained to the wall... He called for me. It took me by complete surprise but it also made me happy. I don’t know what to think now... he wants me there, he sometimes doesn’t. He comes to me one night and I won’t see him the next. He’ll stroke my hair and the next bah.

Men
Are
So
Complicated!

Ryland and I are doing fabo-dabo! He is the most amazing brother. He and I are getting along great and I see him nearly every single day. He is becoming one of my best friends, someone I can count on and turn to for nearly everything and anything. Ryland’s new nickname is Ry, just because I get lazy sometimes. He’s met Storm and well kitty seems to like him. He only really knows Micah, Vaughn, Mal, and old loon. OH! And Stefano, Storm has met Stefano... If I recall it was when I went to visit him after he had woken up – Yah, that sounds about right. Ryland is a very special guy, and though he doesn't have blonde hair, he is good in my books (inside joke diary) How I got so lucky as to have brothers like him and Hel, and Mal is beyond me... But I know I am very thankful.

Uhm... Micah and I are planning to go see Jimmy soon. I’m so excited. SO EXCITED! I miss Jimmy, he is awesome and I want to give him lots of hugs and lovings because it’s been so long since we last... signed. What tattoo to get next... I’m thinking

Vaughn, kissed me....

Odivnoawjbnv[oaksdnbv[oadsnboqejrnb[oqedsngvoesfdjbneaow[digvnbqosajfkdn

What the hell, sudden switch in actions much! Turn my brain back to mush why don’t you... Please, give me a sign, just one sign to know this isn't something you just did for kicks... All I am asking is for you to tell me, was this real.

-Cherry

To be continued...

[Aura]

Dear Diary,

Screw handwriting today... I feel lazy.

Ava is dead; I knew this would happen I just knew. Between the message and me trying to think positively I knew she couldn’t be stopped. It blows diary... First Sebastian, now my own childe, I feel so heavy even though I feel like part of me was taken with her; god I hate feeling so... this, feeling so helplessness. I used to get this feeling with the Hounds, when I was injured and ordered not to fight, or when I was drained of energy. Stupid feelings, stupid everything... I don’t know how to react. I want to be alone yet I don’t, I want someone to talk to but I don’t want to talk I want to yell and scream and shout.

Mal dropped by last night, late of course. He knocked on the door and waited for me to answer which was... odd because he has the keys to my home. I managed to drag my sobbing butt off the couch to answer the door and when I opened it all I saw was a toothless stuffed animal. I was speechless, completely gobsmacked! It was beautiful, and well one of kind! I held that thing all night, ALL NIGHT DIARY. I couldn’t let it go, I couldn’t bring myself to remove it from my grasp. It was the only thing I had to hold onto last night... I wasn’t just going to give it up. As for last night and how I slept, just ask the ceiling, I sang to it most of the evening. I tried counting sheep, counting humans, listening to the rain, watching a movie, reading a book, I got up and baked, I laid on the couch and nothing seemed to help.

That reminds me... I have to seek out old ******* crazy loon. I miss him, and our nights out. Whether it be hunting or dancing or just sitting about on the floor and talking. He and I still have a shopping trip that needs to be completed and I say I want to buy lots of things that make me pretty, like lingerie... or clubbing cloths which, might I add Hel will never see for he will either take them away or burn them to the ground. I might buy a new bikini, a pretty one. I like swimming but I've been to scared to go naked... people are always creeping up on me.

Oh, another reminder, buy new painting brushes and hand held paint plate. Silver knocked them out of my hands and into the water when he pushed me in... Ah that was an evening among itself. He acts as if he is 4 years old, it’s so strange, he said he loved me and wished to hear it back yet I couldn’t bring myself to utter those words, not after what I found out about him... I don’t know if I’ll ever trust him again, or even talk to him for that matter.

Micah and I have hardly been talking, it truly seems like we are falling short of each other. His eyes are black, like darkness and he refuses me every time I try to see them. He pushes me away, he never used to push me away like that. We used to be able to talk about things, meaningful things and what not; now it’s like talking to a wall. One word answers, a cold stare; I can feel it through his sunglasses. He isn’t the man I knew months ago. He seems so miserable it’s breaks me in half. I’m scared to go to him, it’s troubling me how coldly he talks about life now... I want him happy and I know for a fact Vaughn wants him happy too. We care for him, Vaughn cares for him. I feel like I’ve lost the only father figure I’ve known.

I wish he wouldn’t be so closed off to me... But, what can I do but hide now?

-

I’ve been mourning 22 hours. It’s hard to come to terms with someone I loved... no love still being gone. I need to get out of the apartment, I need to go somewhere and do something... I need someone. Not just anyone, the one; I need the one. I think I might go buy some fish... pretty gold ones with cute bubbled cheeks and triangle tails...

Yes that sounds like a good idea, I will fill you in on what happens later tonight diary, I promise.

-Cherry



So I'm back.

I bought some fish, they’re perfect and they seem to enjoy their fish tank home. I’m glad they can swim freely and enjoy the space I have offered them, I know it’s better than the bare tank they had at the pet store.

Blud and Maverick came to see me. Mave finally returned to the apartment after days of sitting in the sewers with his love Merrick. I’ve never been more proud to say I have the most amazing childes in the entire city. Then again I wouldn’t doubt if every sire said that about their childes. But, to me it is the truth. They both have pulled together and supported each other and me during this time of mourning and I stand by and watch my family grow not only in strength but in closeness. They make me stronger each and every single day I walk among these humans. Every day I walk by these people who claim I am family, yet no not of who I am.

Aura Driscol: -She smiles and kisses his forehead- Our loss, we are family, we will get through this together.
Bludrok Cybernova: i passed her once in a building, didn’t stop to say hi didn’t even pick her pocket. didn’t really know her at all. part of me still missing though
Bludrok Cybernova: feels kinda weird
Aura Driscol: -She rubs her eyes and tightens her hold on him- You make me so proud..
Bludrok Cybernova is typing...
Bludrok Cybernova: *holds onto his sire tight* i love you i never want to lose you or anyone else

That conversation, made everything better... In that instant I knew I had make the right choice in turning him. Bludrok is growing so fast, his honour and loyalty to me and mine is outstanding and... Everything I had wished for in a family, in a childe. He is killing zombies like mad crazy, almost as much as me – Diary I said almost... as much as me. His skills are seriously improving and I hope with time someone can fill that void that is now in him due to his sister’s death. He is a prince, and deserves all the happiness in the world.

Now my second random Maverick Driscol. My Shadow with nerves of steel and the protective arms of a guard. What can I say about Maverick that isn’t already known by those who love him? He is charming and cocky, boy is he ever cocky! He thinks his **** doesn’t stink oh but it does just like everyone else’s! HEHE. But in all honesty he is the most amazing man, funny, smart and well a marshmallow to me; what can I say I’m a lucky girl and if any female who can manage to pull on his heart strings. Though, it shouldn’t be getting near him they worry about, it should be me and my protective nature over both my boys. Sorry ladies, the only person you have to impress is me! I only want the best for them.

**** yes I’m a momma bear. Gir-rawr! Booklet I actually growled at you, was it scary? I think so.

What else did I do today... I went to visit my father’s grave. Rested beside him watching the stars for a bit, the grass was cool against my skin. The moon has been full for days now and it’s truly a sight in the night sky. I didn’t stay to long but the visit was good – Quiet but well. I wanted to stay there all night but I was getting messages from the boys so I headed home to the apartment to find them both waiting for me on the couch. “Intervention sire day” I assume.

I have yet to see Vaughn today; I guess things are back to normal. I see him when he wants to be seen and he comes to me only when he wishes to. I... think it’s time for a new pet, I have Storm, fishies who I have yet to name and now I’m thinking something different.
Possible pet options:
- Puppy
- Another kitten
- Snake
- Lizard
- Bird
- Turtle **
- Rats

I don’t know... Something anything to hold and love, a snake I could wear around my neck while I went places... That would be interesting.

While resting with Mave he brought up a very valid point... “You can’t lose something that was never yours to begin with.” He is right... Completely right, I’ve felt like I’ve been losing something that was never mine to begin with. I’ve been scared of losing the one person who had my heart from the start, though he never returned it by sharing his heart in return. I’m so beyond lost right now it isn’t funny – I just wish a light at the end of the tunnel will guard my lonely *** home safe and sound...

I think I’m going to go call Micah and ask if we can go for a walk or something, maybe we can cheer each other up some and make an evening out of it. I’m sensing a cherry slushie not to far into my future.

-Aura L. Dricsol. Proud sire, childe and sister.