HOLY STRAWBERRIES BATMAN! WE'RE IN A JAM! (CHAPTER 7)

[Sage]

Sage was feeling tingling good where he sat. Enough so that he nearly missed the detour sign coming up and the blocking of the distant road he planned on using. He waited until two opposing cars did their obligatory u-turn then followed suit. This gave the fish lipped females a chance to wave from the curb like the car and it’s occupants changed their minds. The ear deafening bark of the exhaust releasing its rare but not unheard of backfire as the monstrosity passed by left both dropping to the cement beneath them as well as the neighboring crosswalk full of pedestrians.

“Salvador…” Sage set eyes on the passenger beside him. “Morpheus been guzzling the cheap fuel?” He knew that meant someone was going to get good ad sticky later. His driver’s eyes still off the road he stretched down and leaned to the right. His hand disappeared under the seat then appeared once more pulling up a bottle of ‘Cockeyed Carl’s Tickle Tequila.’ Sinking the bottle between his legs gave his hand that was free from the responsibility of steering the time to crack the seal and open the bottle. A long easy going stretch over his shoulder offered up the bottle for consumption. “This is so rare you can’t find it beyond Puerto Penasco. It is made in the back room of a tortilla shop.”

Sage took a check of their options on where to go to get back on track and found that the place they started off at was going to be seen for the second time in a matter of minutes.

“Dejavu.” He said with a pinch of his nose and a brief snort that sounded too close to a sneeze to call. “ Well if dinosaur bones are big that means whatever leaves them behind is likely bigger starting out before they give them up.” Sage shrugged and gave a wtf look in Sal’s direction. Snookie wasn’t panning out to be a paleontologist. He looked into the rear view mirror to check on the status of the bottle he passed back. “Have an armored tank hidden somewhere? A lightsaber and a jet pack perhaps? I’m pretty sure we aren’t going in after chickens, Olmes. Rambo on speed dial? Hit it.”

[Omar]

Omar frowned. ‘What drops them’. Omar blinked and canted his head to the side. “Did I hear you correctly? What drops them? As in .. it’s still alive?” He relaxed back in the seat. Well why not? Vampires were real. Magic was real. Why couldn't there be dinosaurs.. Or something similar out there. Had he himself, not killed killed something someone referred to as a mooncalf?

He paused. At least, he thought he killed it. Maybe they do not die. There was no body. There were no bones.

“It does drop bones yes?”

He sank deeper into the leather seat, and then immediately sat bolt upright.

“Stop! Fire power! Fire Power!” He repeated, but neither of them seemed to follow him. “We are going to need fire power if we are taking something down that big, yes?! We must go back! I have a rocket launcher in my van!”

At their blanks looks, (at least blank looking to Omar, since he was half sloshed, could he really tell if they were really blank, or amused, or something else entirely?) Omar sniffed in an affronted manner. “Gentlemen please! I only deal in quality merchandise!”

Neither Sal nor Sage had said a word, but Omar took their look to mean Omar’s rocket launcher was some low quality Ukraine knock off ****. “This is Israeli. They know how to make a quality rocket launcher. Much better than American and British. And do not even think. to compare this, to a Russian one. Have you ever fired a Russian one? Oh yes.. They can hold a heavier payload, but it is a two man operation, and it after three rockets, it is done! Why do you think there are so many ‘barely used’ ones in the market? Because they stop working or the guidance system is fucked after two or three fires.”

Omar nodded. “Yes. Israeli is the one you want. Reliable. Dependable. One man operation. So the shells are small. One small one will still destroy a tank. And if it can destroy a tank.. It can destroy a dinosaur.”

“Yes.. We must go back to my van, and get the rocket launcher.”

In his happy overly buzzed state, Omar failed to realize the damage a rocket launchers payload would do to dinosaur bones, if the animal was obliterated by one. He was righteously and inordinately proud of himself for remembering it at this critical juncture in the mission.

He was going to be rich.

[Salvador (DELETED 8639)]

Rocket launcher?!

Sal blinked, wondering if he had heard their new found 'friend' right. When Snookie started comparing types of rocket launchers, Sal realized that he had heard the guy in the back right. Sal chuckled, then turned around and gave Snookie a look that said, 'my man.'

He was hopeful that they wouldn't have to use it, but it was reassuring to know that if they needed to have something with some 'oomph' behind it, Omar had those bases covered.

"What else you got?" Sal suddenly asked, learning that the delivery man was much more than what met the eye. "We might need more than a couple pistol shooters." Sal admitted, figuring that if Omar thought they needed a rocket launcher, that a couple small caliber guns wouldn't do much. Weren't velociraptors fast? Say, faster than a speeding bullet?

[Omar]

“What else do I have? I am insulted! No! I am wounded to the very marrow of my being!” Omar leaned forward to rest his forearms on the bench seat in front of him, to breathe tequila laced breath onto Sal, “I am an Arms dealer. Drugs are my sideline. I deal in Arms. And not just any Arms, Top grade **** arms. So you insult me by asking ‘what else do I have’. Bah! I am always prepared!”

Then he stopped, and held up a finger, “Unless..” There was an inebriated wobble, “Unless, you are the cops.. Then I work as a busboy.. At the Dragon's Lair. Don’t call my boss.. She will have my balls in a vice.. Or call the cops… But since you are not the cops.. If you need Arms.. And I do not have it.. I can get it.”

He hiccuped. “Scuse me.. I can get it.. And it's not that Ukraine knock off **** either. I have had too many bad experiences with UKraine crap. I will not use it myself.. I will not deal in it. Israeli..They make good ****. Russians.. They make.. Ok ****. But you have to be careful. The Russians are cagey bastards, and they refurbish worn out ****, to look like new ****.. So .. I do not buy Russian unless it is rock-bottom pricing.”

Omar took a deep breath and then shook his head, as if that would make him focus better. “But if you are asking what I have in the van? Well .. Rocket launchers.. M134 Miniguns.. “ Then he paused, “oH.. Now those.. Are..” He made a kissy face, with his fingers tight to his lips and then exploding dramatically, “perfección!”

Omar relaxed back the into the rich leather back seat once more. “I used one of them to destroy my uncle’s Delta 88.” He giggled. “I said it was stolen.” He giggled again. “The 134 destroyed it. You could not tell it had been a car after I was through with it!”

He sighed happily at the memory. “I hated that ******* car..“

[Sage]

Sage's eyes bounced from the path in front of the car and to the rear view mirror. He was waiting to hear the guy say he was full of **** as much as he was tequila. It didn't happen. Instead he found Omar quite the confident arms dealer. Drugs and weapons seemed to be his thing. It wasn't uncommon. However, the access to rocket launchers and Israeli merchandise was a bit of an attention grabber. He navigated Morpheus into the parking lot just beyond the apartment drive-up. There among the common winterized vehicles a sole white Econovan stood out. Nothing else looked spacious enough to hold all the items Snookie was talking about.

Once the engine obediently went silent and the vehicle he had the keys to was parked Sage opened his door and climbed out. Casually he shut the driver's door and waited for the other two occupants to find their way out of where they had been seated. If the guy was as serious as he sounded there was a huge change in how things could potentially go down...or up. With rockets launching up was a common direction most went. It was then that Elton John was chirping in his head about Benny and her electric boots wearing a killer mohair suit. He always popped in at the most inconvenient times.

"Aright Olmes." Sage pulled out a cigarette from his pack in his pocket and gave the end of it a fresh flame from the lighter is his opposite hand. He passed over the cellophane wrapped cancer sources and the Cricket to Sal. "Show us what can save us all a lot of wear and tear."

[Omar]

Omar tripped, stumbled and barely stayed on his feet and he got out of the Riviera. He straightened and looked around quickly to make sure no one saw that. Then he looked at Frick and Frack, as he dug his keys out of his jeans front pocket. He to the back of the van, unlocked and swung both the back doors open.

“Gentlemen..” Omar took took a breath and his voice swelled with pride. “May I present to you the IMI B-300 Reusable Anti-Tank Rocket System.”

Inside the van was several amory style stackable high density polyethylene weapons cases. There were two distinct sizes. One was narrow and long, the other large and rectangular shaped. Grabbing one of the narrow boxes, he pull it down, and opened it. He grabbed that
paperwork that was inside it and handed it to Frack.

“You will note its small size, no larger than a rifle, but has two scopes that are interchangeable. One for day, other for night. As i said earlier,” He warmed to his topic. “These are israeli.. But even the USA military uses these now. These replaced the American made 3.5" Super Bazookas. So as I said quality merchandise.

“Notice the pistol grip is positioned slightly forward with the firing mechanism on a pistol grip and trigger assembly positioned near center of the firing tube. There is a folding bipod that is positioned just aft of the pistol grip as is a retractable shoulder rest. There are sights built in, and integrated in the standard front and rear locations, and as I said be variable scope mounting.”

Omar lifted it up and was going to hand it to Frick, then changed his mind. “Best not bring it out here.. Too many cameras and eyes.” He adjusted his hoodie over his head again. “But it is light weight, a mere 3.5 kilos unloaded.. A mere 8 kilos when loaded. A strong ten year old boy could hold, aim and fire this.” He closed and latched the box shut.

“Next we have the GE M134 minigun.” He tugged one of the larger boxes forward enough to unlatch and throw open the case. “As you can see.. There is nothing mini about this.” He looked at Frack, “I bet you thought GE only made kitchen appliances.. Not so!..” He frowned as he lost his train of thought, “Oh.. yes.. Now these were designed to be mounted on the side of a vehicle, jeep, truck, transporter, helicopter.. But I have seen people carry them. The problem with carrying them.. Is the ammo. These babies eat ammo like candy. You could burn through a van load of ammo in less than an hour.”

He looked at Frick and Frack, “For our purposes.. The B300. Lightweight tank killer. Because M134 minigun is great.. But I do not have enough ammo. The B300, ammo I have in spades.”

Latching the M134 case back up and shoving it back into place, Omar paused, “I do have.. A small number of Heckler & Koch 416 automatic rifles just behind the front seat...” He shrugged, “German weapon.. You may know them as HKs? Reliable weapon. But.. I do not think it would bring down a dinosaur.”

[Salvador (DELETED 8639)]

Sal was.....at a loss for words. Arms dealer?! Who would have thought? He didn't look like one, but then again, Sal had no idea what an arms dealer was supposed to look like. Probably just like Snookie.

His thoughts drifted to the dinosaurs and the possibility of them finding some. And how lucrative the results might be. Sal shifted in his seat with excitement, before they arrived to Snookie's van. It was ordinary and sal wouldn't have given it a second thought if walking past it some night.

Sal followed Snookie's lead and just listened. Sage was the better fighter, and knowledgeable on guns and such. "If you're offering, I'll take anything big, but easy to use and tote around." Sal said, somewhat skeptical such a thing existed in Snookie's possession.