The Musings of Keara Aithne

[Keara Aithne]

5th February 2014

Apparently, allowed I am not from Enver's new thrall to feed. Odd this seems to me. At first told him I did that feed I shall from whom I please. This pleased him not. When conversation done was, agreed I did from him not to feed. While still understand his reasoning I do not, respect his wishes I can. Obviously important to him this is. Perhaps when time comes, a thrall of my own I shall take from whom feed I can. Though...like I do not the idea of a pet of my own to keep. Little success had I in Hannah entertained to keep while Enver in that awful place was. Much thought must I this give. Thankfully, so strong are my powers not for this an issue to be.

Enver on my motorcycle I did get last night. Into the wilderness we rode. Long has it been since I last on my mechanical horse did sit. Understand I do that started regularly it must be if in full health it is to be maintained. Perhaps take it I should to Thomas for it inspected to be. Though...Enver likely a good mechanic also knows...Hmm...wonder do if Enver any good with vehicles is. Enjoyed I did though our time in the wilderness. Even if in one place long we could not stay. Creatures our presence there long will not tolerate. Allowed that though we did not for our adventure to spoil. Enver and I this more should do.

[Keara Aithne]

7th February 2014

Who is this Caroline? Has he her to me introduced? Would I her remember? Possibly not. Too distracting he is. So unless she something did that liked I did not, remember her perhaps I would not. What did he for her do? Why is she messages such as that for him leaving? Ask him perhaps I should. Yes...Otherwise read he will this and then wonder why I my thoughts to him did not verbalise. That best plan is. Do that I shall.

~#~

Luck he says he sent her. So he her did inspire. Hmm...know I do not how I about that feel? Think on that I should. Good reasoning he had but then always he good reasoning has. Natural allurist. If known him when human he was likely I that path would have picked for him if known I had that he to be taken was. Sometimes enjoyable it is for to guess the path of another before reborn they are. Digress I do though. Need watch that one I do.

[Keara Aithne]

8th February 2014

Rainbow of emotion experienced today I have. Thankful I was for such a husband to have, as agreed he did with Sara to meet, despite the fact that know I do that never shall he for her feel as I do. Only hope I do that have them both in one room I can one day...In same room without the need for with them to stay, or them to watch. Worry I do that fight they shall. Need I do for there with them to be for now. Know that I do. But hope I can for more peaceful future. Wish I do not for between them to have to stand for eternity.

~#~

Infuriating he is! Why does he these things post for all to see? Talented! Talented he calls them. Think them talented I do not. Think I do that likes he does what wearing they are. Or wearing are not. That and way in which move they do. Dance like that I can. If wanted to I could. If asked too. Maybe. Perhaps I need the video to watch again. Pussycat Dolls they themselves call. Understand name I do not. Stupid. Neither are they. Guess best watch stupid video again I should. Study them. Believe I cannot that likes he does that type. Nothing like that am I. Married wrong he did…maybe. Hope he realises that not. Enver. Realise that you may not. Okay? Good.

Oh and told me he did that jealous f Crash he is. No idea why. Met the thrall I have yet to. How can he jealous of creature be when in same room with it I have not been. Like I anything for a frail one could feel. Protection they require. And die too soon they do. Forgets he does how old I am. No child want I at my side. Though…hmm…guess no real choice have I in that. All vampires of this time born, children to me are. Enver included. But acts like child he does not. Well…okay…sometimes. But then I my moments too have. He and Robert old souls have. Elliot too. Prefer I do old souls. Old souls in mature form. Realised that I did not before and yet it true is. Perhaps product of my time I am. Many matches an age difference had wherein the female the younger of the two was. Ven my elder was. In every aspect. How old was he now in human years? Think Keara. Know this answer you do. 10 years? 20 years? No more than 20. No less than 10. Mattered not when centuries had he on me as what we are. Enver older than me is…though less than 10 years believe I do that difference is. And younger than me for what we are. Odd that is. Though maybe not. Now confusing myself I am. Stop writing I shall. Put pen down and journal forsake…for now. Till my sense found can be.

[Enver Marshall II]

You do realize that you started the search to me finding those girls known as The Pussycat Dolls, right? I never even heard of them before you found a song by Pitbull, which lead me to that spanish singer and that woman who is the lead singer for the Pussycat Dolls.

Anyways, I'm not sure why you're always arguing with yourself in this journal thing. Or doubting things. I know who I married and what type of person she is. Maybe you should ask yourself if you married the right person, because more times than not I don't think I've done a whole heck of a lot wrong. Just some misunderstandings that sort of get blown out of proportion, then you stew about it in here.

Stop stewing. It's not healthy.

[Keara Aithne]

9th February 2014

Married wrong I did not. Know I that. No doubt there do I have. And say I shall what said must be in here. This my place to reflect is. Record I shall what I like. No choice have you in what I write. Only choice that have you do is for to read or not.

~#~

Where to start today…Thought I did that after yesterday, that today calmer would be. Wrong I was. Yet another female to me he brings. Then rude he says I am because leave I do. Greeted her I did. Lucky she was that my greeting verbal was. If stayed I had to witness what Deanna told me, tried I would have for her to harm. Instead…waited I did for Enver and him in the head did I kick…Angrier I was than thought I was, perhaps. Know I do that hurt him I did. That wrong of me was. Perhaps. Though...deserved it he did.

~#~

Turned one today I did. No intention had I for that to do. Attention that paid him I did, did I for Enver's benefit. Wanted I did for him to feel what earlier felt I had. Think perhaps worked too well it did. Said he did that Peter he as thrall would take. Fine with that I was. Crash no longer off limits to me would be. Not that want I Crash either. But wanted I did for him jealous to make. When decided he did for Peter to turn, wished I for him not his way to have...so fought I did for himself to sire. That mistake was. Wrong is it the life of frail creature to take for no reason. Like reasons I do. Childer special should be. Reason there should be for one to take. To annoy husband, perhaps not the best reason is. No. Definitely not. Vow I do now never again with my husband to fight over frail thing for it into darkness to bring. Poor Peter. Deserves this life he does not. Hope I do that wrong by him I have not done. As wrong by Enver I did when gave I frail thing my blood.

[Keara Aithne]

10th February 2014

Enver acting strange is. Like it I do not. No zest for life does he have. This the man I married is not. Realised I did that I more damage yesterday did than thought I had. Found I did line that trace I could upon his skull. Bad wife I am for my husband so to harm. Though tried I did for reparations to make. Offered him I did my blade. Cut me he could. Only fair that would be. Refused he did. Thankfully sewers full of paladins are. Able I was one to find that so obliging would be for me to attack. Bullet wounds sting do. Dug I have the bullets from my flesh but still, no reaction from My Enver did I get for this to do. Know I do not how I him can persuade for me to forgive. Need think on that I do. Worried I am more perhaps for the fact that his kiss changed has. Feel I do not anything from him when together we are. Did I his love for me destroy? While perhaps deserve I such a fate, hope I do that that untrue is. Know I do not how I forward in this world without him could go. Darker place to me it would be than when first returned from accursed realm I did.

~#~

Reflected inwards I have and noticed something I have. Quite crazy of late I have been. Well…crazy I have always been if believe I do My Love, as that word always used is when angry with me he is. Wrote he did that my behaviour unhealthy is. Perhaps that true is. Perhaps not. Also...games playing with him I am. Never have I such things before done. Learned them from him I have. So angry at me in that aspect he cannot be. Games he with my mind plays when feels like it he does. Sometimes realise I not what doing he is till too late it is. Too clever my husband for his on good is. No wonder I him in the head did kick. Even if flirtation his fault was not. Discourage such things he should. But…upon this path again now wish I not to tread. Greater worry have I.

[Keara Aithne]

11th February 2014

Shot again I was today. Wound have I in my shoulder. Itches it does. Though sure I am not if itching it is, or if just think I do that itching it is. Normally no such issue take I with my wounds and yet stop I cannot for at this one to pick. Perhaps guilty I feel. Wound helps for me from my mind to distract. Truly worried for him I am. Apathetic he is. Himself he is not still. Told him I did that know I do not how I around him now should act. Tells me he does that be I should the woman that married he did but…tried I did that yesterday to be and well…want me he did not. Try later I guess I shall…if situation arises does wherein I think he me shall not reject. Liked that feeling I did not. Wonder I do if wound alone enough is for his opinion of me to alter. Punished I am being and like it I do not. Inspiring me he still has been but that all there is that feel from him I do. Hope I do for to repair whatever wrong is soon. Ready I almost am for myself in our cell away from the world to hide.

[Keara Aithne]

12th February 2014

Left me he did. With barely a word to say. Emailed him did. Asked for items too. Mind I do not for such things of him to ask, even if things between us strained are. Know I do not if help me he shall though, my rituals he does not like and this one perhaps him further shall annoy, as sure I am that agree he will not that I more childer do require. Still. If help me he does not, at auction sure I am that I such wares can find. If not, know where to look I do.

~#~

Went I did to Quarantine Zone. Wanted I did for Peter to find. Forgot I did for something to him to gift. That wrong of me was. Know I do not how fight he can without weapon for himself better to protect. Hunting easier is if correct tool you have for such things to do. Wonder do if stay he shall? Not in zone. In this realm. Hope I do that survives he does.

Apologised to Peter did. Later. Time enough with him I have not spent. Better sire deserves he does. Better sire to him be I must. Lucky perhaps Peter is. Enver has he also. Enver him does seem to like. Though strange that is. As think I did not that he Peter truly wanted that night. Else never would Peter from him have taken. Poor Peter. Poor Enver. Better I must be.

~#~

Gave me ingredients he did. Seems he does his normal self today. Even if started we did once more for to argue. Like I do his passion. Prefer that do to how been he has in days that passed have. Called me silly he did. For thought I did that he me no longer did love. Told me no the other day did, when kissed him I did. Remembers he does not. Kissed me did when said that I did. Silly perhaps I am. But still...what wrong between us was, righted itself has. Like I do for My Enver back to have.

[Keara Aithne]

13th February 2014

Thought I did that argument over was. But seems does that bad days the good these days outnumber. Know I do not what wrong between us is. Thought I did that me a liar he did call, for all the family to see. But…well…wrong in that I was. Meant he did not that I a liar was. Meant he did that teach him he could how city works. Experiences Enver has in this life that I do not. Feel bad I do. Judged Enver badly I did. So wrong at times I his words do interpret. Know not why. Well…perhaps know why I do. Worthy of him I am not. Know this I do. Know I do not what he with me does stay. Easier is for the bad to see in what said is. More difficult is for the good to hear. Not that Ven me never did compliment, only his words different were. With Enver things different are. Likes me he does for other reasons. Ven my abilities did praise. My mind. Enver me differently sees. Understand that as yet I do not.

Like I do not when he me Sweetheart does call. Always this term to me applies he does when argue we do. Normally no stock in names do I place but this name from his lips when angry with me he is, like it I do not.

Worry I do for my husband. Shot today he was. Attracts he does attention. Perhaps this allurist thing is. Know I do that he my attention captures when near he is. Worry for that too I do, as so alert I am not when close to me he is. Distracting he is. If look in his eyes I do, quite lost I become. Mind quiet does go. Wonder do if all that in his eyes do look this feel. Hope not. Like that thought I do not. Strike it through I would but now stuck is in my mind. Change subject I should. Perhaps help that will.

Says he does that Peter as much his as mine is. Wonder if that true is? Know he wrong is. My blood through him flows. Bonded to me he is but…drained he was by us both. Chosen he was by us both. If say we can that choose him we did. Happenstance that did do. Childer new are to me. Never have I one sired with another. Even if angry we were. Intimate that experience was. Like I do idea that Peter ours is. Now that thought on it I have. Unique perhaps that Peter does make. Believe I do not that we e’er another that way shall sire.

[Keara Aithne]

14th February 2014

Ritual successful was. Enver this likely will not please but supported me he did regardless.

Know I did not that this day significant was. Know better now I do. And Enver me a calendar has bought. Still think I do that easier day would have gone if explained the day he had before now. Guess matters little now that does. Robert me did tell, so in the raid I did not stay. Even when fight we do, love I do my husband. Though even with day explained, misunderstood I did the purpose. Thought I did that this day like Halloween was. Enver says that wrong that is. Yet still, if dress you do differently, a costume you are donning, so similarities see I still regardless.

Loved I did for Enver in his outfit to see. Understood I did not what attraction was when met him I did. Taught me that he has and grateful for that I am, else appreciated his appearance this eve I could not have. Surprised I am how good he looked. Perhaps his style it is not. But glorious he was to behold. Quite overcome I was. Like I would for him so to see again. Even wounded…no more pleasing sight to me is there than that of my husband. Oh…written that as yet I have not. Quite injured he was. Chased he did hunters in the sewers. Better day for this chosen he could have but that his way is. Silly boy.

Yes. Silly boy. But sweet too. Planned he did for us music to produce. Literally. Lesson organised he did for us songs together to mix. Go well this did not but appreciated did the effort. Funny it was for one of his with one of mine to mix. Harmonious the results were not. Thankful I am that he and I better combination do make.