The Musings of Keara Aithne

[Keara Aithne]

This thread represents a plain, black, leather bound journal that belongs to Keara Aithne. The ramblings herein may or may not be in a particular order as the pages are not bound to their cover. The IC location of this journal changes based on where Keara has been and/or is when she last wrote in it.

If you wish to find the journal (or perhaps just one of the journal entries) IC, please PM me first and obtain my permission. We can discuss when and how your character had the chance to read what they did. Unless permission has been obtained by me to use the contents of this thread IC, anything read here should remain OOC knowledge. Thank you.

~ Natasha

[Keara Aithne]

((Undated))

Decided I have that pen my thoughts once more I should as more stable is my mind these days. Bought I did this journal so that smaller moment immortalised are. Thoughts and ideas sometimes lost can be in time. Here at least a record can be kept.

Begin I shall with event that already passed is. Learnt I did that Lions bound was some days passed. Wish I do that told us self he did. Instead heard I did from childe of his. Polite girl. Eleanore. Wonder I do if ceremony long planned was as no word heard I of impending binding. Congratulated him I did on Crownet. Hope I do that sees that soon he does. Wish him well I do. Eternal bonds not lightly undertaken should be. Perhaps if taken such a bond with Ven I had, different I would feel now as connected perhaps I still would feel to him.

[Keara Aithne]

4th October 2013

An odd time for me it has been. Rumblings in the catacomb the ground beneath me shake. Odd raids appeared in the city have and while enjoy exploring them I do, never do I seem to follow one through to the end. Though bother me so much this does not. Think perhaps too distracting they are, as other things I should be doing. New childe guidance needs and if find her I can, know I do that this much give to her I can. Have a sword too...if remember to take that to her I do. Locate her I must, as know I do not where she stays she does right now.

[Keara Aithne]

12th October 2013

Injured he has been and sit well with me that does not. No answers can I from him gleam, as seems it does that able to understand me he will not. Injury to brain he has, among others. Told Deanna I have over him to watch. Informed his sire too. Like I do not when those of my lineage injured are and no-one me that tells.

Returned home I did as rest I required. Thankful I was other faces to see. Some new. Some old. Distracted me they did. Though see I do tension where tension ought not be. Know I do not if help I can in that. Hope I do that tempers settle soon. Maddra and Sara different issues have. Sara time needs to adjust. Know I do not what Maddra requires. Make time I must for her soon. Need check on Eleanore also. Lost she seems.

[Keara Aithne]

16th October 2013

Strange it is my blood not to see. Knew I did not, when turned my first, that this feeling so strong would become. Pain feel I when gone too long they are. When die they do. Pain perhaps not physical is, though feel it do in my heart. Psychosomatic believe word is to describe such pain. Emotional pain made real by my mind.

Reached out I did to my childer. Even those that passed have. Perhaps if hear my voice they do, forgotten they know they have not been. If Ven’s voice I could have heard in darkness, calmer perhaps I would have been. Know I do not if hear me they shall. If realm allows such communication. But hope I can that hear me they do.

Strange feel I these days. Mix of emotions that explain I cannot. Perhaps best is if try I do not to describe them.

[Keara Aithne]

21st October 2013

Gifts given me were today by Enver. Most generous he is. Tell him I must that gifts I do not require. Pleasant my time is in his company. Pass the evening I could in conversation with him even if nothing had he given me to do so.

Seems it does that stay in he would rather when min-golf we play. Spoke we did two nights ago of this. Decide we did not if this virtual we would do or not. Too cold he said it might be to play in the city. Though feel it I would not. So seems it does that virtual game play we shall. Though date of meeting I do not yet know. Raid me busy is keeping.

Wonder I do if embarrassed he is with me to be seen. So proper he dresses. Clash in style we do. Know this true to be. Only safe to spend time with me if hidden we are perhaps? If no-one sees? Hope I do that wrong I am in this. He my only good friend is that not of my making is. Sad it would be if lose him I did.

[Keara Aithne]

22nd October 2013

Upset my friend I did today. Frustrated he has grown with my chosen method of communication. Perhaps refrain I should from in his mind to speak. Emails perhaps better are. Remember I do that told Sara I did that emails perhaps better form of communication is. More can you say in an email. Read then they can your words at leisure. Time likely needed is for my words to decipher. Perhaps therein his true frustration lies. Garbled my words are. Know I do that difficult to some I am to understand.

Likely see him I shall not this eve. Raid on going is. While mind I do not the hunt. Worry I do that my time elsewhere better spent is. Enjoyed I did however my Thomas to see. Looking for him I have been this past week. Rare items had I for him to craft with. Evenly distributed the copper pipes I did among the crafters in my line. That fairest way is when gifting I believe.

Sara saw I also today. Travelled to the Quarantine Zone I did. A master blade had I for her. New she is to this world and worry I do for her safety. Worry more for her than previous childer. Silly perhaps that is but worry I do that hear she shall not an attacker. Work with her on this perhaps I should. Not all attackers heavy footed are. Need learn she must herself to protect else survive she shall not.

[Keara Aithne]

25th October 2013

My day well did not start this eve. Mind I do not in the sewers to wake. Mind I did not that Sara me there found and my mind did overwhelm. Cope with that I can. Asked her I did her powers on me to try. Best way is if learn to control them she shall. Healed to some extent I did the damage that she to me did. Issue with day I have at sunset came when woke I did. Upon Enver's lap I did awaken. And in my haste away from him to move, my head I struck. Too much speed. Not enough though. Believe I can not that so close to another I became. Ashamed I am of this event to him tell. Know I do not how came I did in such a position to be. Trust myself such a thing not again to do, I cannot. Worry I do that too damaged am I for such a friend to keep. Know I do that realise this soon he shall. Think perhaps that in the raid this day I should sleep. Some distance from him take I should. That perhaps everything shall solve. I hope.

[Keara Aithne]

26th October 2013

Yesterday unable my secret to keep was I. Communicated the issue with Enver I did...eventually. Understanding he was, when told him I did the story in full. Of course in the raid I was and communication via email did. So difficult it is his true reaction to judge. Crazy he says that I make him. That not my intention is. That not good thing is. While odd it felt alone to wake, good for him it perhaps was. Want I do not for him against me to turn.

~#~

Likely it looks that see him today I shall not. Much luck in the raid I am having today. Perhaps attribute success in this I can to inspiration that he upon me has cast. Feel him I do, though know not why. Feels like he here is, when not he is. Wonder I do, if this related to my issue is. Physical touch I feel to long. This like mark upon the soul is. Not unpleasant though. That much say I can. Interesting. Comforting even.

~#~

Strange evening have I had. Not only have I luck within the raid had but asked I was to the crownet chatroom to go. Never before logged on to there have I. Trust I did not that others in there would come. Private room sufficient however was for conversation. Different than email. Though at first no real difference did I see. Now better able the comparison to make I am. Comfortable am I through this medium to converse. Use it again perhaps I shall.

[Keara Aithne]

28th October 2013

Agreed to something perhaps I should not have I did. Know I do not know what me so possessed. Ven disappointed in me right now would be, if see me he could. Forsake his memory I do not want to. That wrong would be. Yet...feel happier I do when he around is. Know not why that is do I. Perhaps his natural charm is. Allurists that effect on others always perhaps have. Know that for sure however I do not. Feel thusly I do not in Lancaster's company and he too allurist is. Comfortable around the two of them am I, but in ways that different are. Enver sides of me does see that lost I thought were. Want near to him to be I do. His inspiration a comfort is to me when hunt alone I do. Yet, not the same is it, as in his company to be. Confuses me he does also. Not one conversation have we had, that recall I can wherein he something has said that me does confuse. His language strange is. Yes. Know I do that speak of such things I cannot. Own speech pattern broken is. Nothing wrong with his speech is, his voice easy to listen to is. Just...words and phrases that uses he does. Unfamiliar they often are. Frustrated he gets when everything to me he must explain. Leave it I would. Let words over me wash. But...want to understand him I do. Point perhaps missed I have as pen this I do. Regress I should. Perhaps not agreed on date with him to go I should have. Too...familiar is he with me already. Woke I did with his arm upon me and in my haste away to move, fell I on the floor. Think perhaps one day serious harm to myself shall do, for his touch to avoid. Not much now can I do for this to change. Disappoint him I do not wish too. Chance I had the situation to avoid. Take it I did not. Nox be with me for guidance in this I need. Strength need I in this if I my dear friend wish not to lose.

~#~

Wonder do if apprehension in him also there is. Inspired me today he did not. If feels he does the same as I then fear I do that nowhere our path shall lead. And while fear I do, that that path nowhere shall go, fear also for where lead it could. Know I do not how with another to be. Ven my blood was. Bonded were we in way that unimaginable to me had been. Can one so lucky be for such another to find? Nox perhaps the answer has and yet hear her I do not. The moon waning is. Nox at her peek should be. Perhaps answer in balance comes and for the full moon I must wait. Want I do not so long for one to hear. But choice in this suspect I do not have. Fate me here hath brought. Trust in that I must. If fear the path I do, perhaps I reasons have. Though if path untaken is, never can I the reasons know. Or their existence confirm. If exist they even do. Upon my inner strength draw I must and conviction have. Where I am my place is. Believe that I do. Think so much on this perhaps I ought not do.