I'm not who you think I am... ~Journal~

[Kira]

OOC: This is all OOC information. No one is to know anything that is said in here unless they somehow happen to get into her journal.

I'm going to try to list them all. Many of the entries are depended on a thread that it is about and I want to get her thoughts down for it but it will keep getting longer as the thread goes on. So I will put a last updated date on it.

• September 23rd, 2011 - First Night (Finished)
• September 23rd, 2011 and September 24th, 2011 - Kira wants to meet new people, ends up meeting her brother Thax (Not Finished)
• September 26th, 2011 and October 1st, 2011 - (Finished)
• October 6th, 2011 - Kira buys a cabin, meets Serenity, Jarrett, and Odin. (Updated Dec 30, 2011)
• October 16th, 2011 - Kira dealing with being hit on by Asher (Finished)
• October 20th-21st, 2011 - Kira pissed at finding two hunters in the sewers (Finished)
• October 23rd, 2011 - (Finished)
• October 25th, October 28th, 2011, October 31, November 2nd, 2011 - Kira gets her hand back and goes out to have some fun (Dropped) - It's been one year since she lost her memories. Got a thrall and Shortest Fight. (Finished)
• November 7th, 12th, 13th, 18th, 19th of 2011 - Kira meets a rude human (Dropped), comes across what seems to be summoned zombies (Dropped), thrall finds Hobo, cabin, computers, and hunting.
• November 20th, 2011, November 26th, 2011 - Kira notices she feels calmer while it is snowing. (Finished) :: Kira's thrall runs into Serenity who is acting strange. It ends up being a rather bad night. (Updated Jan 1st, 2012)

• December 3rd, 2011 and December 12th, 2011 - Kira loses a leg, rides a scooter and runs into law problems.
• December 13th, 2011 :: December 15th, 2011 - Kira has a dream or is it a flashback to a past life? She doesn't know. :: Has yet another dream. She hoped the dreams were over with.
• December 20th, 2011 ::: December 29th, 2011 - Kira is to make sure Serenity buys a gun, Jarrett's orders. (Done) ::: Only childe being attack for bounty. Ends in a bad way. (Done)
• January 12th, 2012 :: January 13th, 2012 - Puppet attacks Kira, regaining his mind it would seem. :: Kira talks about how she ended up with Puppet.
• January 14th, 2012 :: January 15th, 2012 - Meets Gambat while out with Serenity, leads to trouble.(Finishedish) :: Ends up turning Gambat into a vampire, her first real childe. (Finished)
• February 21st, 2012 and February 28th, 2012 - SoA Mardi Gras party, more trouble for Kira. :: Trouble with her latest childe, David.
• March 3rd, 2012 and March 5th, 2012 - More trouble with David, involves handcuffs.
• March 6th, 2012 and March 7th, 2012 - Gets roped into a fake double date, her sister, Dru, after Jarrett and David being her date. Target practice with Mama and seduces David prior to this date.
• March 15th, 2012 - Kira's fights with Mama, David, and Gambat. Mama plays with Kira's decoys and ends up brain dead. Gambat killed for his bounty. And male harem?
• Kira VS The Cat - Kira's interaction with the cat that Lexy got her.
• April 8th, 2012 - Kira beats a mooncalf, ends up with a puppy.
• April 10th, 2012 - A different kind of dream. Past life?
• April 12th, 13th, 17th - Blood Thief, Fadebeasts for pets, beaten by Mama, rests at Lexy's.
• April 19th, 2012 - Trouble with Fadebeasts, David seduces her.
• April 22nd, 2012 - Dru couldn't get into the second floor of the house, decides to mindspeak a poem about Jarrett. David target practice.
• April 23rd, 2012 - Ending of the dream.
• April 25th, 2012 - Water-balloons, paintballs, weird wraiths and messages to Puppet.
• April 27th, 2012 - How to train your fadebeast
• May 9th 2012 - (Threads not done)
• May 16th, 2012 and May 24/26th, 2012 - Dealing with emotions and hearing Warrior. Seduction war between her and David.
• May 27th, 2012 - David seduces Kira, she comes to her senses wearing a ring. He announced they were married...Kira not happy.
• June 5th, 10th, 16th - Dru not Dru no more but still a Dru. Kira discovers Jarrett's Meaner Things form and catnaps him and shows Lexy. Meets a Greek guy named Anemoi, wind gods. Although she feels herself being somewhat flirty, Windy is trying to kill her, hired by the gangsters.
• June 21st, 2012 - Windy gets a hold of her phone number.

[Kira]

September 21st, 2011

I've decided to keep a journal, this is just in case if I forget who I am again, I can look back and see what has happened. Then again, if I forget everything again, I will most likely will not remember I even have this. Either case, I hope this is therapeutic.

Let me start at the beginning I suppose.

October 31 2010 was a rebirth for me. I remembered nothing before that date, I have found no reason as to why this happened. I took that day as my birthday. I went to a police station to see if they could help. The first thing I heard was "Oh my god, it's Britney Spears." I looked around, saw no one else there, I was very puzzled.

Well aren't you Britney Spears they asked. I replied I had no idea what they were talking about. They said I must be a look alike and went to enter me in as a Jane Doe. I told them that I wanted the name Kira Kerr, it sounded right. Their search came up nothing however of course.

From then on this Britney Spears has haunted me. If I got a nickel for every time someone thought I was her, wanted my autograph, I would be freakin rich. Obviously this Spears person is by the way people go on about her. I get tired of explaining I'm not her, I write Kira Kerr on whatever they wanted me to sign and leave quickly.

I started to travel, following my gut feelings until I reached a strange town. I quickly realized I needed a weapon to protect myself with as this city had so many problems. I got myself a hunting knife, it was the most I could afford, I would much rather have a Katana but I will have to save up for it. Anyway...

September 19th, my life changed again.

I was in a bar but couldn't decide on a drink, don't remember if I liked them. Once again this Spears person has brought me trouble. A man came up to me, said I was Britney Spears, I told him no, go away but they just don't listen. He wanted me to go to his place for a private show, that's when I lost it.

I kicked, he drew his knife, I drew mine. We fought but ended up outside. I almost had him but in the end he did win and ran off. I needed to become stronger, so I could beat him.

I was offered a way to get stronger by this strange woman named Mama Sisya, well she had another name but it was kind of long. She went on with words that I didn't quite understand, but they had to mean day, and night, sun and moon, something to that effect. I had never seen a woman like her before, she was interesting, and I wouldn't mind learning more about her. Anyway...

She said she would have to drain my blood but yet it shouldn't hurt too much. Yeah, didn't sound too appealing...
She took a knife and cut me up, yeah it freakin hurt though it felt more odd then anything I suppose. She then wanted me to take in her blood, it was black, very strange, not that I thought about it too much at the time. When I did take in her blood, plenty of strange feelings. I stumbled off, I could not keep myself still, keep my balance for anything. Though whatever she tried to do, didn't work.

It was until after the second failed attempt that Mama Sisya figured out the reason why it was failing. Seems that I'm something called a 'Living Vampire' or 'Psychic Vampire'. I always thought it was strange that if I felt drained, I felt better being around a lot of people. Just in this short time, I noticed that I didn't feel emotion like others did but when people around me were happy, I felt better as well.

Either way, third time was a charm as it finally worked. From there on I had to go feed. It went well until I went to get the last pint I needed to feel better and a couple spotted me. They went running out of the building screaming, "Britney Spears is drinking blood!"
Yeah, that wasn't a good thing. I have a feeling that is always going to be a problem.

Then we went off to a bank so I could bank my money but instead pulled out $1000 to buy some hacking programs so Mama could teach me about hacking. I think hacking is kind of frustrating if you keep getting locked out, but enjoyable if things go well. I did end up a file to sell and banked the money. I hope to upgrade to a better weapon later on down the road.

Mama told me about the family penthouse, it would be a safe place to sleep at during the day. The penthouse belongs to Nick. She said and I quote, "Shall be interesting in how you two get along.” I'm not sure if that's good or bad...

We didn't get much further in my lessons as I saw the gangster that started it all and gave chase. I did win but he had company, and I lost to them. Just another gangster on my list of ones to take down. Hell, why not all of them.

I stopped in an abandoned building for the day. I will find Mama at the penthouse when the sun goes back down, to do battle with these zombies.

[Kira]

September 23rd, 2011

Mama had to take me zombie hunting because of the gangsters I took care of. Well she told me how to get there and scouted for them. Ok, so in my short time of being aware I had seen several movies. Zombies are creepy, I didn't like the idea of them at all. However, once I got there and fought one, it turned out not to be that big of deal. I enjoyed it.

Though that's going to be a never ending battle. Take out gangsters, get a bounty, take out zombies, bring down bounty.

I can tell you right now, my least favorite place is the sewers but I suppose going down there can't be helped at times.

Since my siring however, I've been craving energy. The emotions I can get through it have been quite lovely. Makes me feel alive. I realize now that during my aware time (October 31st to the time of my siring) that I've always felt pretty much nothing, not alive. It hasn't changed now that I'm more than just a 'Living Vampire'. I was kind of hoping it would override it, it would be nice to feel things on my own without having to take it from others. Though I guess if someone ever wanted to get rid of their fear or sadness, I'd be able to do that for them.

On a side note, I would like to get out into the city and meet some people considering the only people I know is my sire and grandsire.

September 24th, 2011

I met my older brother today. Seems we were after the same human, though I wasn't after blood. I wanted the energy, the emotion was a plus too. At first I thought there was going to be a problem, though its not like there are plenty of drunks walking around to take a pint of blood from. I know I do have a younger sister out there that I haven't met yet. And of course I haven't met really any other family members.

(OOC: Thread too old, won't ever be finished)

[Kira]

September 26th, 2011

I finally got enough for a new weapon. I do like blades. It makes me wonder if I used to use them before I lost my memory. Think they are more honorable than guns, of course a gun would come in handy against another gun. You have to be quite fast to use a blade against a gun I would think. Or take cover and find an opening. Fighting the gangsters and zombies have made me stronger, granted I don't win all the time.

It didn't take me too long to get another hacking program. I haven't gotten to use it yet. Well, I guess I did decrypt a file but I got locked out of the system while I was trying to transfer it. Would have loved to see how much it ran for.

October 1st, 2011

I got myself a webphone and a debit card. These things do make me happy, as happy as I can feel anyway. Now I can check my bounty whenever I want, well and e-mails. Very handy. I take out some gangsters, check my bounty on my phone. If I end up on there then I need to head off to kill zombies.

Though there are a lot of things going on family wise, I just don't feel like writing it out here.

I'm off to hack. Thus ends another day, er night in my vampire life, boring ain't it?

[Kira]

October 6th, 2011

Because of the uncertain happenings that have been going on family wise, I had been thinking about a place of my own. Well, not completely my own but family could go there as well. I just feel like we need somewhere else to go in case things going completely sour. I know Mama wants a sewer home and I know I will end up resting there because it will be so close the QZ.

So I found this new area called Hunter's Hill. I like the idea of being out away from the city so I bought a cabin. However when I was looking at it, debating about buying it and figuring out how to buy it, this other family came up.

Serenity is a fine girl, I like her. Jarrett, well, I think I would have to meet him when he isn't brain damaged. He had a head wound so I'm guessing he acts different when not wounded. Then there is Odin, who didn't speak much at first. Later we did get to talking more, I think he would be fun to go hunting with.

Of course Serenity ruined the moment by saying something about him wanting to ask me out. Frankly I realize I'm pretty clueless with males, the ones who are not straight forward anyway. Got plenty of those rabid fans of that Spears person who are straight forward. Makes me just want to snap something on them.
I highly doubt that was what was going on. I think its just nice finding someone with the same interests. Mama don't get out much and as long as I'm doing the work of Mawu, she doesn't care what I do it would seem. Same interests I mean by the fighting. Of course he started to mess with me so I still don't know truly what he likes to do.

Jarrett even brain damaged figured out I was an Allurist. This seemed to get him paranoid that I had done something to Odin, which I didn't, why would I. Not that I have any of those powers yet. Like I want to start something with someone under the influence of my allurist ways. Be better to know that they are real. Not that I know if I can feel such things.

(OOC: Thread still going)

[Kira]

October 16th, 2011

I have to get this down. My confusion greatly increases and its all has to do with a male.

Said male, Asher, talked to me through my phone one time looking for shadow then allurist who could inspire (I did not have that power at the time). That was the night they killed Nick. At the time family life was fine.

Second time he talked to me, it was chit chat before finding out he was looking for a path again. At this point I swear he only talks to me if he wanted something. He wanted a shadow again, Mama is a shadow but I had to play telephone because she would not speak to him. That wasn't fun.

Third time, I didn't know until he told me, he was hitting on me. It is a little weird. Maybe he was simply drunk. I heard allruist can still enjoy food and drink, I haven't tried yet. I've been tempted, I miss granny smith apples with peanut butter on them. Anyway..

Brings me back to the way I look. It is all that matters it seems to males.

It also brings up thoughts of, was I in a relationship when I lost all my memories. I have no ring or anything but in this day and age people live together and have kids without ever getting married. I would like to think I did not live that life. I would truly hate to find out that I had a family and I have left them without a trace. For all I know though, I've been alone my entire life.

However, if I've always had trouble feeling emotions, how could I be in a relationship? I would only be able to feel such things if he truly felt it. Can one train them self to start to feel things again? I heard allurist can sometimes feel too much, I was hoping it would override my prior programming. Maybe it will take time. I can only hope I guess.

[Kira]

October 20th, 2011

Having to do this with one hand. This sucks. Was on my way back to Mama's house, and well I was hungry. There's always humans standing around there. So I figured I could get a snack before going to bed. Boy was I wrong.

The human I tried to feed from was a hunter. I got my hand cut off...and well, I lashed out. I suppose its either me or her but, I really only mind hurting the gangsters.

I hope I don't get blood all over Mama's house...

October 21st, 2011

Having the worst luck...
Son of a beepity beep. I went to feed in the hallyway again of the sewers only for that human to be a hunter too! So freakin pissed. Now I got a holy gut and a missing hand.
Lesson learned - don't feed from the humans in the hallway.

[Kira]

October 23rd, 2011

I've settled down now. I think I could have been a lot angrier over it because I've been wanting to go to a club. It's hard to go to a public place like that with a missing hand. I'm sure it would simply scare off any humans and then I wouldn't have anyone to dance with now would I?

I had been racking up a rather big bounty (alright so not really but its bigger than I would like it to be at) because I haven't been able to feed very well. I really don't like rats, at least the sewer rats, I'd be fine with store rats. In fact, they can be cute but at least you can make sure they are clean. Well, then I wouldn't want to kill it either...got to do what you got to do I suppose.

So because of my bounty issues, I've been having to stay clear of gangsters. I know very hard for me. Part of the bounty issues could also be the breaking into buildings. So many crates of beer...I mean really, the guards have to be drinking on the job, I tell you. They are so stupid sometimes.

Anyway...so I've been hanging out in the QZ and fighting zombies instead. I love it when I'm resting and one just comes right up. I don't even have to move.

My holy gut should be gone soon, my hand on the other...hand (I seriously didn't mean that as a pun) is going to be missing for awhile. I kind of have it all wrapped up so I don't have to look at the stump...

On a side note I had to help Serenity with some info for this Knights of Perdition. She wanted to know what powers I was getting in their order and why. I already had this planned out to a point. But then she wanted me to get Mama to do it for the shadows, yeah, that took some sweet talking.

[Kira]

October 25th, 2011

I don't want to talk about any other wounds I may have gotten. Too far embarrassing and it leads to other rambled thoughts. Just not going there.

Three more long days until this hand grows back. Jarrett asked me if I was doing alright fighting with my left hand. Yeah it had been a problem at first but I got a lot of practice in. Had I known that chopped off limbs was a hazard around here, I might have taken up to practicing BEFORE.

Then it got me thinking. Would a missing leg be worse than a hand? Or even the full arm than a hand for that matter. I realize that a hand isn't as a big deal as that. Missing a whole arm would be far worse to try and cover up. Missing a leg, well, it sure would be hard to get around and I don't like feeling that helpless.

There seems to be a string of Fadebeast sightings. I have yet to see one, and I wouldn't want to see one until I'm fully healed. It would be unnerving to wake up and see one, staring at you. I had spent the day at the cabin, wanted to stay there instead of the sewer home.

But have to return to the QZ to kill some zombies. My failed feedings have racked me up a bounty again. Once that is over, then I can just kill them for fun. Then back to the sewer home. Thax doesn't seem to like it if I'm gone too long.

October 28th, 2011
I got my hand back! Time to party! (OOC: No one joined so nothing to tell)

October 31, 2011

The day of my birth? I very much doubt it. It is the anniversary of me, of who I am now. I don’t know who I was before. What kind of life I had before. It has only been a year before I lost everything. Not that I know what I’ve lost of course. It is still a mystery as to how I lost my memory.

I shall celebrate this day anyway as because of losing my memories, it has brought me here.

November 2nd, 2011

I have gained a thrall. I like the name I gave him but I find myself just calling him puppet. I have shared his name with a select few so they don't eat him if he happens to be in the sewer home or the cabin.

On a side note, it is fights like these that make me crave for something better.

The zombie charged.
Kira stepped inside of the zombie's guard and hoisted her self into a somersault over the zombie's head, lashing out with her blade as she landed behind her opponent.
The zombie gasped as the blade plunged deep into his heart!
The zombie staggered and finally collapsed, having sustained too much damage to continue fighting.

It was a pretty bad *** move though.

[Kira]

November 7th, 2011

Tonight it made me realized how naive or maybe just how stupid some humans are to other people. Once again I guess my looks come into play in this. Human looks at me and thinks I can't take care of myself, when I really can.

I wasn't sure what this night would bring.

(OOC: Thread still going)​

November 12th, 2011

Zombies...I can deal with them now but it was really weird to see them outside of the QZ. I think someone was having too much fun with the summoning of them.

(OOC: Thread still going)​

November 13th, 2011

This night was something else. My thrall was on orders to check apartments for this human named Hobo. He had been causing lots of problems. Not much I could really do other than have my puppet go look around and then report his location. I wasn't expecting him to actually find Hobo though. But frankly there has to be someone helping him since he ran like a little child after I posted on CrowNet.

November 18th, 2011

Hobo is dead. No one came forward to take credit so he may have killed himself. Don't know, don't really care.

November 19th, 2011

So the cabin is now rather useful. There is this area that packed with wild animals. They beastie sure give you a good fight though. And get this, rabbits! No more nasty rats. Not to say got a nice collection of rabbit feet now. Been debating on getting some of these hides fixed up and put them in the cabin. Might as well use as much of the animal as I can. I have been just selling everything. I had bought a desktop computer for the cabin finally, which made Thax rather happy. Thanks to this hunting area, I have made back the money I spent.

Though I had to tease Jarrett. Big bad Killer has been getting his *** kicked by mountain lions. Sure he has beaten some of them but...yeah. Yes so I have been beaten by one but Jarrett and these big cats don't mix it seem. Bears are worth more anyway and I happen to like cats.