Rhapsody in Darkness

[Meara]

Meara's journal is simply a stack of composition pages bound together in a leather bound book that can have pages added or removed as she pleases. It also doubles as a notepad, planner, and doodle book.

May 16, 2017

They say journaling is a good way to remember events and work through ones feelings. I should’ve started this a lot sooner than I have.

After Christmas, I got a phone call from my mother. She told me I had to come to Knoxville right away. My grandfather was in hospice and was dying. I agreed, but I told her she had to promise to not be alarmed when she saw my appearance. I made up something that a medication they had me on currently to try to help me clear an infection in my lungs made me extremely sensitive to sunlight and I could not go out during the day. So I made my way south and luckily made it with a couple days to spare. Grandpa Eddie had black lung from being a coal miner and it made me somewhat sad to see such a gentle man suffer. I played guitar for him in his room a one night, in a reverse tribute to the nights we spent on his front porch where he would play for me. Sure he fell asleep after only a little while, but he was tired. So tired that he never woke up again. He died the next morning.

I helped get his apartment cleaned out before I said bye to my folks and headed back to Asheville. I loaded down my station wagon with as much clothes as I could, and packed up several boxes more to send to Alex’s shop. Since I already was a night owl, most people didn’t really notice I wasn’t out during the day. But there was a problem – my car didn’t want to start when I was ready to leave Asheville to drive north. And my bank account that matched all my legal paperwork in the US was bone dry. So the alternator and timing belt that needed paid? Couldn't leave ‘til I raised the money to pay it off. So I crashed with a friend and went back to busking.

To pay rent money, other expenses, the car repairs, gas, tolls, and food for Willow I had to spend nearly three months in Asheville. I am sure I worried a bunch of people sick. I greatly missed my sire, Rowan, and her crazy family. And of course Bjorn. I hope he doesn’t think I ghosted him. That would be a shame.

I think I lost my key to Rowan and I’s place, and misplaced the books Az gave me to study rituals. Not to mention I forget half my lessons anyways. I need to find way to make it up to all of these people who I let down because I disappeared. I feel like a turd. Hopefully everyone still remembers me or will be able to forgive me.

I’m gonna go to the gun range extra this week so I can be useful in the next battle I am asked to help in.

[Meara]

June 28, 2017

I am not usually a violent or a vengeful person, but I find something stirring within me.

Paladin attacks are on the rise in town. They seem to be getting very brazen in their targeting of vampires and humans who willingly associate with them. I fear for Rowan and I all the time. We've already had our own run in with them. But perhaps this could be a chance for me to take my life back. What if I could wound one of them, at least damage one of them enough that they will leave us be. Then perhaps I could prove to myself I have nothing to fear.

They have no right to be hunting us just because they think they are holier than us. We are all God's children after all.

I just hope i am strong enough.

[Meara]

Sept 5, 2017

It’s been a year since Alex remade me. I thought I was always a little too innocent and naive before I was changed, but I am now realizing just how much I didn’t know. Before my only weapon was my violin and smile, but now it’s become so much more. Guns, knives, my mind, you name it and I now can make a weapon out of it. Not that I take great joy in that, but you gotta do what you must to survive. I still rather dislike feeding on living creatures, so I just opt for the blood bags at the shop and sip on them like Capri Sun packs.

It’s been nice to not have to worry about money so much – I’ve been quite successful in my ventures since I arrived, between working for Alex and pitching in with Rowan’s family. However, the Dragons all seem to be more withdrawn. Rowan and I have been like passing ships, and I miss her greatly. Summer seems to be the extremely quiet time around here. But perhaps as summer fades into the cooler months, and nights grow longer, people will come out of wherever they were hiding.

I think I know enough now to start my own business, finally, the capital to fuel it. Now I just need a name for it. That’s always the hardest. We’ll see if I stay with my current projects as I strike out on my own. I’m not convinced anything is the right fit for me, but that might be because I still know so very few people. So I’m going to go to all the events, regardless of who is putting them on. If we are to come together as a city, we need to have friends and acquaintances from all walks of life.

There’s all sorts of supernaturals in this city, and they all are constantly fighting. Paladins versus Vampires. Sorcerers vs. vampires. Even the vampires don’t get along that well. I’m not that great a fighter, but I have a couple friends that are. It’s important that I keep learning because it’s likely only a matter of time before something comes after me too. I think I’m gonna go track down tall stack and see if he will teach me. I can tell that he is a lot stronger than me, and he’s generally pretty patient with me. He did elect to not kill me after all.

Practice makes perfect.

[Meara]

[AGAINST THE CURE]

September 19, 2017

The newspapers, radio, and forums have been talking about a government agency that has been working on a cure to vampirism. Apparently they are nearly complete with it and have been testing it on different subjects (likely prisoners) for a few years. The compound they have been working on it at has become a warzone. People have gone there to defend the scientists (paladins, humans, etc) and try to destroy the facility. Others are hacking into the computer systems and uncovering emails detailing the workings of the program. I’ve been too afraid to go over there, and it doesn’t seem anyone has figured out a way I can help from behind the scenes if I’m not a hacker. I think I’ll just be in the way of my friends and family who are a lot stronger than I when I attempt to fight and end up in a puddle on the floor.

Initially I thought while I wouldn’t choose to be cured, I might like to have the freedom of choice available to those whom were turned against their will or did not like being among the undead. I would like a choice to undo it probably if I was turned against my will. I was lucky – Alex has been amazing and made sure I was a willing participant in my choice. If I ever make a vampire I’m going to make sure they are completely willing in the process too. As more and more reports are surfacing, it sounds like that the government might try to mandate inoculation of all of us vampires with the cure. Perhaps they are afraid of what they don’t understand (kinda like why southerners are overwhelmingly afraid of Muslims) and would rather we be extinct. As that is also the opposite of choice, I can’t really go along with it.

I hope whoever gets their hands on this at the end chooses to destroy it or turns it over to vampire-friendly scientists so we may all choose how we want to be in this world. I am extremely fearful that the paladins are going to get their hands on it. They would try all sorts of manner of putting it into the blood supply by preventively vaccinating humans or sneaking it into blood packs in an attempt to kill us all off.

I’m gonna go find Alex and see if she needs help or what I can do.