The nights trundled alone like normal; he worked, he came home, he read his obscure books, he slept, and then did it all over again. It was enough to keep him occupied and distracted. With four businesses and all the employees that belonged to them, he had plenty of issues to keep his mind off whatever it was that he missed. And when he miraculously had time to himself, he read philosophy. He read complex tomes about space and the fabric of the universe. He read David Foster Wallace, over and over and over again. If he was too busy thinking about Earth’s role, then he had less time to focus on his own miniscule woes.
But when they hit him like they could, they were hardly miniscule. As an Allurist, emotions could really do a number on him. They could curdle his inside, they could burn him alive. They could turn him into a veritable cloud of black, heavy and pregnant with thunderstorms and rain.
When they did, much to the dismay of some of the staff, he took to the stage of Lancaster’s like it was his own personal soapbox. It didn’t matter most of the time; the customers couldn’t care unless they were vampires and immune to the magic of his voice. Given that it was a pub, however, and most vampires couldn’t eat or drink, they had no reason to hang around. The humans, though, were drawn to his voice when he sang like moths to a flame. They were the rats to his pipe. It didn’t matter what he sung, they enjoyed it regardless.
It was a hollow kind of comfort – yet another way in which this life had let him down – never to know whether someone truly enjoyed his music, or whether it was all just fake. The music had never been about fame, however. It had been about expression. His heart was aching, and though he swung from original to original song, he also threw in a few covers.
One of which was Sinead O’Connor’s Nothing Compares to U. It was so lonely without Pi there. So often, he felt like a bird without a song. Every fibre of that emotion was thrust into the song, lacing his soaring, breaking voice with all the grief and desperation that he felt. The crowd flocked, silenced, watching, listening. It might have been eerie, but Lancaster sang on anyway.
Tonight, he really didn’t care if their admiration wasn’t real. It was admiration that he needed.