Hymn For The Missing

[Castalia]

Nolan has filed a police report that I’m missing. It’s weird to read the words, but it was even weirder to hear it from Rhys’ lips as he held out a flyer with my picture on it when I’d gone in for my usual Mojito before returning back to my office. It’s a photo taken three months before my death, before he had moved out of our home and I had moved into my little apartment. I look happy in it, and as I sit at this booth in the bar, I can’t help but be minorly annoyed at the image that he’d decided about.

Vain? Yes. But, in the picture, I’m also wearing the wedding ring that he’d given me. The same wedding ring that was at the bottom of my desk in a lockbox. That aside, I don’t know really what to do. Obviously, I plan to tell Kika. She needs to know, but how do I tell her? Admittedly, I haven’t tried to tell my sire much about my past. I don’t like knowing she feels terrible about turning me, about the way that it had happened - a mistake.

Rhys told me the other day about the kids, they’re no longer in Harper Rock; Nolan had them go live with my parents so that he can keep all of his focus on “bringing mommy home” as he had overheard one day on the phone. I sometimes consider not leaving the new apartment I’ve acquired. He won’t find me there, at least. I no longer go to my regular haunts, I stay around the college scene. At the shop, and then I enter the sewers to train, and occasionally rest, with Kika.

C.L.P. 9/22

[Castalia]

I don't understand these people.

There isn't anything wrong with me asking for those with the ability to appraise, or even read minds, to stay out of my head. It isn't dramatic, it isn't bitchy. It's a matter of me, uncomfortable, asking for people to respect my wishes. If I was significantly bothered by something, such as that asshat attacking me, I would speak up.

I do not like vampirism so far. My feelings hit me too hard, my emotions run wild and I grow angrier faster. An allurist is the term I have heard thrown around, moody woman seems to be the right term. Kika, at least, seems to share the same sentiments. She asked the same as I had, though where my question was general, she asked directly to Ambrose for him to cease his action.

I miss my humanity.

C.L.P. 9/23

[Castalia]

Quel salaud.

I found Keagan, he was kind enough to give me a key to his apartment and that is where I may remain when I rest at times. He has always been nice, understanding. Well, at least I feel he is understanding when I blow up at stupid things.

Coffee is something I will need to start drinking a lot of before I check that board. Maybe right after I feed, that can be my first thing that I do.

A shower can wait before I lose my temper again.
C.L.P. 9/23

[Castalia]

drama - [drah-muh, dram-uh] - noun

[...] 4. any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results

The word has come up often as of late and I'm starting to wonder if people actually understand the meaning of it. How the hell am I being dramatic by asking to respect my personal feelings? I don't like these people. Some, I do, but I still don't want to be all buddy buddy with those that seem so comfortable throwing aside their humanity. I get it. I'm dead, or what the hell ever one wants to call it. I'm a vampire, or walking corpse.

But, that doesn't mean I'm not going to act the same way I would - granted, my emotions kick me harder. I shouldn't have to change for these jackasses to accept me. And, if they want me to, well, they can kiss my ***. That isn't who I was when I met Nolan, that isn't who I was when Kika turned me into a Happy Meal. My name is Castalia Levice Pierson. My parents didn't raise someone who would lower themselves to doing something that disappointing.

C.L.P. 9/25

[Castalia]

I got shot today.

I never thought I'd be ever writing those words, let alone saying them, but medical training came in handy as I pulled the bullet out and stitched it up. I was minding my own business in the sewers, collecting chemical waste when this jackass pulled out his gun and shot me.

I'm pretty sure he was a hunter.

At this point, I could give two fucks. When I find him, I'm going to put a bullet where it hurts. And then I'll kick him in the spot, and then... I don't know yet. I'll figure out something.

C.L.P. 10/20

[Castalia]

There hasn't been any updates on the Nolan and his search front, I've considered to hire a private detective to keep an eye on him, but Rhys told me that I was being paranoid. Maybe he's right, maybe he's given up on finding me. It's been a few months, but it seems so unlikely, that's not the man I married. Perhaps he's just got something going on. I hope the kids are alright.

Heavenly Scents was a disaster.

Or well, not a disaster, but the idea of it was more a failed hope than an accomplished business. Allure and Vanilla have been doing well, though, the former is just a beginning. Eventually, it'll be grand. A getaway place for me.

I turned someone. Cedric.

More on that later.

C.L.P. 11/15

[Castalia]

Now that I have a better idea of the man, I can say that I like Cedric more than just on an appearance level. He's amusing and very kind, haunted like myself by a family he cannot have. He finds the word childe to be strange as he's older than me, and I don't mind avoiding the term. We're friends, family. I appreciate his companionship and when he's around.

One night, I'll introduce him to Keagan, I believe. Maybe. I haven't decided. They're both musicians, so I doubt it would go wrong and when all else fails, I can just smack the both of them. I adore the men in my life, so it is a strong maybe. I doubt they'll argue. I hope.

I adore the family that Kika has given me. Jedediah is polite, well spoken. We were texting the other night, although it was before I had my usual collection of coffee so I hope he'll forgive the fact I was a little slow. I do not speak to the others, Delaney and Marlow, often, but I plan to sometime. I know Delaney misses popcorn. Perhaps I'll have to buy her a popcorn scented candle sometime. Marlow, I do not know anything about other than the fact she's stronger and does businesses.

The other evening, I purchased oil for Kika for a ritual she wanted performed. I'm unsure of what it does, but I have added Chastain to my name. Acheron remains silent, as I'm still unsure about the line. I trust I'll learn in time, but only time may tell.

Allure and The Vanilla Bean are doing well. I purchased a store that will function as a place for both businesses to sell pre-made drinks from each establishment, tying them together as I wished. Frank has decided to accept my offer, to work in Allure. He remembers Cedric and was unsurprised to learn what had happened to him. I've thought about having the older man replace Rhys, if the man wanted to return to his normal life, but Rhys hasn't mentioned anything lately. I wonder if he, too, prefers it to be this way.

I'm afraid to ask.

I've begun to drink more, I think I have a problem. Maybe. It may not be a problem because I can burn through the alcohol fast before, but Rhys claims it's only stress induced. As long as I find a way to keep my stress down, he will not cut me off - like he thinks he can. I think it's more of a Holiday thing. I miss my girl and boy, even Nolan. By now, we would be on a plane returning to New Orleans on vacation but alas. He's got them staying with my parents.

He hasn't taken my disappearance well, having begun to fight with her.

I enjoy knowing she's miserable.

C.L.P.C. 12/21

[Castalia]

Cedric has gotten himself into a bit of a conundrum. One that I can't quite explain, nor can I fully even think about. It seems every time that my dear friend has sex, he spawns a monster from the woman that he slept with. I shouldn't worry about him, but I do. He's my blood, my responsibility even if he claims he isn't. He may be a grown man, and older than myself, but I don't have many in this city, in this shadowed part of the world that I care for. My sire, my siblings, K, there are some in Acheron as well.

I don't want to see him hurt.

Speaking of Acheron and pain, I saw the post that Delaney had posted yesterday. I love the spark that my sister seems to have, her intolerance of ******** is something that I enjoy. The amusement is always high when I see someone call him out on his views that seem to constantly shift, especially as he is inconsistent. Do one thing, choose another, backtrack on things that he made clear from the beginning. It makes me wonder what kind of leader that the man truly is, how he expects to gain respect from those in his bloodline. I still stand on the thought that it's earned, not given.

We're not in the ages that he was once in. This is 2016, the present. Maybe that was how Ambrose felt that the past should be given, but the people in this time aren't willing to follow the words of someone who cannot do as he expects others. Set an example or do not, we're not lemmings falling off cliffs by accident.

C.L.P. 02/27

[Castalia]

Business has kept me busy and I haven't been getting out much, but I can't say that I'm too bothered by it. I enjoy the nightlife, the lifestyle that being a vampire has provided me. I haven't heard from Nolan or his investigator in a little while. I hope that they have found themselves something better to do, to occupy themselves with.

Preferably nothing involving me.

My father emails me every now and then. He's comfortable knowing that I'm alive, at least in a sense. I told him that I left for business, that I was trying to just get my head on straight but I don't think he believed me. Maybe he's behind them leaving me alone for now.

I miss my parents and children, I've noticed, less these days, but they're still a lingering thought with every day that passes. I wonder what they're doing, how they're doing. He promised me that he wouldn't tell them that I'm around, that he understood my need to escape. I wonder if he thinks I'm starting a new life, if he knows I am. When it comes to my dad, I suppose I've never been the best liar.

Likely, we'll just have to see what goes on and how things come together.

I read what goes on in the Acheron board, but choose to rarely speak due to the way that Ambrose seems to think that unless he's worshiped by his followers, the only thing that those that are outspoken are good for is drama. Both my sire and sibling bring up very good points, why bother with war? Why attack unprovoked, why is it that he seems to only take men seriously?

Ambrose says the line is broken and that it falls to pieces further every time he feels attacked. The truth is, the line has never been together because he seems to lack the ability to allow it to flourish. Rather than listen to those in the line and consider our words, he smooths over and focuses on what he thinks matters. We are all capable of forming our own opinions, but he's never given us reason to change ours of him.

This new one, his new childe, seems to do nothing but follow him around blindly as Vega once did. I haven't seen her around come to think of it, I wonder if she's come to her senses and he no longer gives her mind. I understand the need to follow your sire, but I'm thankful that Kika does not force her thoughts and opinions, her beliefs down our throats. She seems to appreciate the fact her childer have sass and aren't afraid to speak up for themselves.

C.L.P.C. 3/09

[Castalia]

Today, I might have been a little bit vindictive. Alright, perhaps a lot vindictive. A healthy donation was made to a group this evening. I think it may help their cause, or at least I hope that it will. I’m sorry for those that it will not aid, and perhaps hurt in the end, but he’s crossing a line way too often. I cannot say that I feel bad, either.

C.L.P.C 03/09