Into the fire

[Rocklin]

The date is June Fourth, Two Thousand and Fifteen. It is dark out, which means safety for my kind.

As a human my name was Rocklin Naarc. Though, I do not carry the surname any longer I can not change the man inside the vampire. After spending so much time in the shadow realm, I believe near a year in total, it's hard to tell what's real and what's... my mind. The best way to describe it is I bridged myself to the Shadow Realm. Every night there is something that brings me back, but the world keeps going. People keep talking, even if they do not look the same to me.

I get violent.

I kill, and kill. Sometimes I fear I'll break masquerade and be forced to return to the shadow realm any way. But did I ever really leave?

I guess that means I have very little to lose. You can't send me back to a place I live in every night. I must find my way before this consumes me. Oh, my Wraith would kill me, then. I'm certain of it.

[Rocklin]

The date is June Fifth, Two Thousand and Fifteen.

I woke this evening to a delusion that has lingered more than I care for. Every where I turn there are spirits and wraiths, no humans or vampires. It is odd, finding yourself surrounded by only the things you fear. And yet you remain so calm, as if you know that they can never touch you. Voices from people standing right in front of me have turned into mere whispers, dancing across the wind like smoke.

I find myself getting stronger as well. The stronger I get, the easier it is to deal with this curse. Even inside of this tiny black notebook, the shadow realm lives. It's almost feeling like my inner peace, if it exists any longer.

I often wonder how Velveteen is doing. Even though she is the fault behind my first trip to the shadow realm, she was one of my closest friends. You know, back when Tytonidae was nothing more than a thought. The thought of it makes me miss The Black Fortress, and all of its warriors.

Mercedes, the most, some nights. Oh how I miss her sparky personality followed by regular rule breaking. She was certainly worth the effort it took to train and make us an effective unit.

Perhaps that is what I will spend my time focusing on. The return of the only home I will ever know. Perhaps she is that distant whisper I focus on. My Wraith could translate this better than I can. Her, or Elizabeth. Whichever.