Past Mistakes, Future Memories [Ty]

[Nishaa]

Creation of the M O N S T E R

-- Chapter One --
Awakening

They said once you find your true calling to this life then everything else will just click into place. I heard that **** from a stranger when I lived on the streets. He was a lovely man. I did like him very much. He was my mentor of sorts. Taught me how to steal, taught me how to live on the streets. It was a shame I had woken up one morning to find him dead beside me. Our make shift beds were always next to one another with a barrel next to us – usually lit through the night the only warmth we had. It was pleasant. I didn’t even mind the nonsense he spoke about half the time. Jim. That was his name. Jim Harrison. A man no older than eighty. He had lived a full life. Unpleasant as it had been. I admired him. For whatever that was worth. Seeing his dead face staring up at me, will be something that shall stay with me forever. However long this life may be. I’d never understood the odd feeling of compassion back then. It was a myth to me. I never liked to stay attached for too long. Not since Danny, and what my parents had done to me. They had made me cold. Ruthless. Untrusting to everyone around me.

My adjustment to vampire life was quick. It wasn’t long after Jim’s death that I had found a woman by the name of Every. She was beautiful. I had to get to know – and by know her, I meant steal from her. She looked like she had a fair bit of money. How could I simply refuse a dabble? I was wrong to even dabble. She was a vampire. I scratched her – she did the same to me. It was a lovely exchange. Until a few days later a rogue nabbed me. Draining me of all my life – Every found me again, and well – I, even you know the rest. I was turned into a vampire. So I adjusted. Fell in love, lost love and became a colder person. I was still very mistrusting of people back then. I think the only two people I actually trusted were Every and Micah. Two. Not a lot. I guess, you can understand my hesitance towards people.

Perhaps I am different than most vampires. I’ve seen many in my time have a hard time adjust to this life – like it was one big hurdle for someone to overcome. I do not understand that concept. Vampire life suits me. I’d like to say that at least. Powers came easily. Death followed me everywhere I went. There was a certain lifestyle I had found in my time since being a vampire that was alluring to me. It was a faction named Tytonidae. A faction headed by Velveteen and Micah that kept the masquerade in check – the way they held it in check was by killing those who broke the vampire law – the secrecy of the vampire species from the humans that still lived within our dear old city of Harper Rock.

I had no quarrels with lifting my gun and pointing the barrel towards a vampire and pulling the trigger – if it killed them great, if it didn’t and it wounded them instead? Didn’t care. I loved to hear their skin ripping at the entry wounds. I loved to hear their cries as they crumpled to ash. I guess, upon my time being a vampire, and with Tytonidae I had learned we never truly die. Vampires do not die – well, we do. Our bodies turn to black ash, and our spirits sent to a dark realm called the shadow realm. We are trapped there for no more than seven days. Then we can come back to the physical plain. A small punishment. Brilliant isn’t it?

So, now that I’m reflecting upon my time within the faction that I now call home. I guess, when I joined I was awakened to the death it brings – even the despair to the family. It’s addictive. Though. Addiction can be dangerous. Especially dangerous when they paint a target on your head and then try to claim revenge. Yes it’s happened. I’ve been attacked. Well, when I say attacked. I mean they tried to kill me and completely failed. I had managed to flee. I did so laughing at them. Laughing at their failed attempt of a form of revenge, and it something even now I mock them for.

I had met many people since being in Tytonidae. We were a faction, a unit. We worked as a team. When I had told them about the failed killing I didn’t expect them to raise their hands up in my defence. I should have seen it coming but from my past – I didn’t really expect anyone to stick their neck out on the line for me. I hadn’t done anything for them. Not yet at least. I was a fresh face to the faction, newly initiated. There were several members that went for the people that had attacked me – tried to send my spirit to the shadow realm. In spite for the people we had killed that had belong to their little stupid cult they had going on.

Vengeful bastards.

So, there were three members that had died for me.
Reanna, Nemesis and Jesse Fforde.
I knew them by their names. I had laughed with them. Hunted, and killed with them.
They were acquaintances.

I’d never forget the time they died for me – their bodies turning into ash in front of my very onyx hues. I’ll never forget they put their necks out for me – all in the name of revenge for attacking me. They had protected me, when I was a foolish vampire for thinking that no one would ever d me. Heck was I wrong.

Tytonidae had awakened something within me.
It had taught me that friends could be found anywhere.
Friends were to be cherished.
That I should not be ashamed to let my guard down and to care for people.
I had learnt from that moment. I had learned to love.

[Nishaa]

Creation of the M O N S T E R

-- Chapter Two --
Metamorphosis

When something huge impacts you in a way that it may potentially change the way you see things around you. You find yourself changing, and adapting. Adaption. It’s a primal survival instinct. Everyone has it, we all adapt to new surroundings to – there is that word again. Survive. I had learned to survive with Tytonidae. They had introduced me to many a things. Taught me how to properly make use of a gun – and not the shitty kitchen knife I had been using before.

Tabatha. That was the name of the trusty blade I had been using. She was a lovely, sharp little thing. I had used her to gut Danny like a fish. I still remember the look on his face when I had done it. The whites of his eyes staring at me in horror as I slid the blade into his belly. Twisted it, and then withdrew the blade slowly – caked in blood. Sweet smelling blood. Even from the age of six, I had always had a screw loose in my head. I believed in the devil, I believed in monsters. I even believed myself to be an oddity. I mean, who in their right mind would kill their own brother after a child’s game of hide and seek in the woods outside their house? Who in their right mind would laugh as they watched their brother bleed out on the ground beneath them? Any normal person would call for help, or call for their parents. I never did. Danny was always the favourite in my parents eyes. I was always second best. I hated feeling that way. I wanted to be the favourite. I had wanted to be the best. Danny was just in the way. I had to get rid of him. I was a child of mere six, and I was thinking such vivid, bloodthirsty thoughts. I knew in that brief moment of euphoria I was meant for greater things.

Of course. I didn’t know they would send me to a mental asylum – call me unstable and leave me there to rot. I mean. Why would I have thought those things? I was already a mentally unstable child. Obsessed with the devil, demons and death. Death. It was so beautiful.

Yet. This memory I hold dear to my heart. My already blackened heart. Danny dying before my eyes. It had defined me as a person – set me on a path which would lead me too now. It made the asylum much more bearable for me. Reliving that one moment over and over again. The way the knife slid into his belly. The feeling of his warm blood flowing over my fingertips. I had lifted my own bloodied finger to my lips and took a taste. Just a little bit. It was a rush. My parents didn’t think as such. Ripping me away from the scene. Screaming, crying. Collapsing onto his cold corpse as I simply laughed.

Ah, such fond memories.

That moment had defined me made me a monster not only to myself, but to everyone else around me. I guess you could say those feelings I had harboured towards Danny had stuck with me even in my unlife. It had made me bitter towards my vampire siblings. Each time Every had sired someone new I had plotted their deaths carefully. I wanted to be the best. I had to be the best. Or the favourite in my case. I always wanted to be the favourite. It is something that had been with me since I was a child. Something that seems to have been amplified since my rebirth into the darkness.

I feel the same way even with Tytonidae. The leaders. Micah and Velveteen they watch us carefully. Always looking for people who do well. People who make an effort and reward them. Me? I don’t care about the reward I just want to be recognised as the best. I want to be known for someone who tries to be number one. That’s not to be taken in a way that I want to throw everyone out of the way and climb the ranks. That’s not exactly what I meant but simply that I want to be known for doing well – understood even. Yanno?

I’ve been trying very hard to become a hard working member for the faction. I was rewarded not long afterwards with owl of the month. I was given a relic. Something I’ve been collecting for quite some time now. I have perhaps ten or so now. I’m pretty proud of them. Some of them gifts. Some I’ve won through different means and some I’ve bought myself with my own money I’ve made. But honestly? I’m a poor *****. Whatever money trickles into my bank account soon leaves. I have a habit for spending my money. I love spending money. Does that make me a girly girl? **** no.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Tytonidae has rewarded me.
Allowing me to work hard for the faction that I was slowly falling in love.
Yes. I love Tytonidae.

They have accepted me as one of their own. They understand my mind – and how it works, they accept the good with the bad when it comes to me and understand my unusual traits that I have. Even my ego at times.

Tytonidae have been patient with me as I slowly break through all my barriers that I had made myself over the coming years since my childhood. Brick by brick my wall is falling away. Tytonidae is helping. Feeding my ego. Helping me become a better person – someone who is now giving everything I earn away, even items I acquire from stealing – and looting buildings to those that need it. Even when I win a raid. I give the relic away. I guess, that was why they awarded me Owl of the Month. Because I have progressed as a person – an individual. All because of Tytonidae.

[Nishaa]

Creation of the M O N S T E R

-- Chapter Three --
Acceptance

I was seven when I was placed inside the mental asylum. It had not been the best of days for me when it had happened. I had been placed inside the sleek white Volvo and driven up inside the gates of the building. They had opened the door for me and dragged me out by the hem of my shirt my little feet dragging against the cobblestone pathway. Screaming for my parents to let me go. They hadn’t listened to me. I remember their scolding words towards me even now. “You are a devil child.” They had said. Those words had made me mad, upset even betrayed. I mean, I was an angry person anyhow. Morbid. Obsessed with death but this had made it so much worse for me. I was unable to see the world for what it was, or what it would be for a child. There were no flowers in my mind. No silly ball games – not even daisy chains. No. I was thrown straight into a strait jacket and left within the confines of a padded room. I was scolded. Left there for years and slowly cut off from the world around me. My parents had abandoned me. They wanted nothing to do with me since I had killed their precious Danny.

They had shaved all my lovely dark hair. Placed me within a metal framed chair and tried to cure the sickness of my mind. They had fed me pills to sedate me – I was a rather aggressive thing. I didn’t blame myself for my anger. How could I? This was all Danny’s fault. If he hadn’t have been born I wouldn’t have been in that situation. I wouldn’t have killed him – and wouldn’t have been sent to an asylum by my own fresh and blood. I was a bitter child. I still am now to this very day. I mean why wouldn’t I be a bitter child? Would you. If you had gone through the exact same thing as me. Day in, day out they had subjected me to the god damn chair grabbed my face and pushed it backwards and strapped a metal pole around my forehead. It was for my own good they had said. It really ******* wasn’t. They were just fuelling the growing monster within. It was a pity more so for them. Who was I to know that I would grow to depend on the monster within myself. The monster that would help me be the monster I am now. I had accepted what I had growing within the cages of my heart – the very thing that was blacking my heart full of hate.

The monster within myself was accepted by Tytonidae. I mean. I had been on several hunts with them when I was on the bridge and in the hot seat and under fire from the fully fledged members of the faction. They had asked me so many things. I couldn’t possible remember all the questions now when I think about it more. I know each of their questions were important. I had to answer honestly and I had. I needed to; I had wanted to join them from the moment I had learned about Tytonidae. I had to impress them. So for a whole month I worked by *** off trying to impress them with my answers. I had tried to be as lengthily as I could with my answers. I had attended all the hunts. Even killed a few rogue vampires. I remember the congratulations I had gotten from everyone. It was obviously a good feeling – perhaps my first proper good feeling in my life really. It was acceptance. They were accepting me. It made feel little butterflies in the pit of my stomach, not that I’d ever admit to that **** if I was asked about it on the spot. I’d kill you if you ever mentioned it. A bullet through your god damn brain. I do have a reputation to uphold and I will be damned if it gets ******* spoiled.

So a month later my application into Tytonidae was accepted, and I was feeling pretty damn happy. They welcomed me with open arms into their faction where I could learn about myself more. Understand the depths of my power, what I could do. They had agreed to help me. I was still a young vampire – what are they called? Oh right. Fledglings. Yes. Though there was a catch to being accepted into the faction. There was an initiation. Ha.

I won’t lie. It was a ******* epic night. I mean, they had me go through a basement full of traps. It was a Tytonidae tradition. I was going to get fucked up. I know I was, and that was the fun of it. They were going to bandage me up straight after. I was gun ho about it all. So on their word I made my way through the basement and danced in and around the traps. Quite a few got me – and quite a few dodged me. I was singing I’m a little teapot the whole time. They laughed at me. I remembered their laughter. It had made me laugh with them despite the sizzling skin from the mass amount of traps. I finished what they had called the mud run and had come victorious. I didn’t die from the blood loss so that had to be a good thing. I had gotten my tome to the Eyrie. They bandaged me up and put on bed rest until my burns and wounds had healed – I was cool with that.

What I’m really trying to say is that; despite my rocky past – and everything I had done as a human, and even at the start at my immortality. The faction that I belong too now has accepted me. I hold each and every member close to my unbeating heart. They know about my past mistakes, and what had led me to this point and they accept me for it. They’ve let me grow into a better person. They’d ultimately saved me – I was on a path of self-destruction. Tytonidae has made me a better person, and I’ll ******* say that **** out right if I have to.

I’d die for every single one of them.
Like they had for me.