Better Choices [Jesse, invite only]

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

Since her turning Felicity had been back and fourth in Harper Rock. She had been spending more time away than at home and honestly she didn't know why. Now she stood on the outskirts of the city looking in. Taking in a deep breath as she looked over the city. She wanted to return home. She wanted to be here, she knew that but for the life of her she couldn't remember why she left, or for that matter leaving to begin with. She figured a few people would be upset with her, and she needed to figure out something to tell them. She needed to explain why she kept leaving of course if she could explain it to herself that would be helpful. However here she stood with all her secrets not sure what to do next.

Shaking her head she tried to get rid of her fear, she forced it down and straightened her back walking towards the city. It was time to be home, and it was time for her to get some answers. This life had changed her and she was just beginning to realize how big that change really was. She just hoped she could keep up, the change wasn't just about her surroundings but about who she was. She needed to be better than she had been, she needed to be there for people. She missed Jesse, she always would return for him. She felt a sense of loyalty to him she didn't really understand. It happened when he sired her and has been there ever since. She still didn't fully understand what that met but she knew she wasn't the only one.

Felicity missed Axel as well, they had just started their relationship before she left, and then she disappeared on him, on everyone again. This time she had to be different, she had to be better than she was before. Though she had seen a few people since her return she still hadn't really spent much time with anyone. She had spent some with Axel and only a few passing moments with her sire Jesse. She owed them more than that. They deserved better than that. Everyone deserved better from her.

Walking onto the city streets she glanced around. She wore a pair of jeans, with her black combat boots, and a red shirt beneath her leather jacket. Grabbing her cell she sent a text off to Jesse, she needed to see him and to explain some things. Well at least what she could. Perhaps it was time she was honest with everyone. -Jesse, it's me Felicity I would like to meet up with you. I can come to Larch Court if you like. Right now I am near Wickbridge. -

She felt drawn to this area, down the road she could see the coffee shop, the place she had met Jesse and the place her life changed forever. She would always be drawn to it and she would probably always miss coffee. She wished she could drink coffee again, of course it was a small sacrifice compared to the things she gained. It wasn't exactly an easy life, and there was still so much to learn. Now though she was finally ready to begin living her life. She was ready to dedicate herself to the line and to being better for the line in all aspects that she could be. She didn't know what that looked like but she knew what she wanted.

[Jesse Fforde]

The recent argument with Grey had left Jesse feeling depleted, and emotionally exhausted. For someone who hadn’t paid much attention to his own emotions in the past, he now had a hell of a lot of them to contend with. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another—if it isn’t his own progeny giving him grief, it’s an argument with his adopted sires, or with his cousin. Or, with Grey.

He isn’t sure what it is about the woman, but she has her talons in his heart and she won’t let go. There’s a certainty within Jesse that she will leave him one day. One day, she will see that he’s a worthless sack of **** and she will walk away. Everyone else walks away at some point or another, so why should Grey be any different? These are the thoughts that plague his mind, regardless of how much she has reassured him, or how much she shows she does love him, how much she tells him she will never leave. On the surface, he is assuaged. Underneath the surface, however, the doubt plagues like some thick and cloying disease and he cannot be rid of it.

He’d just returned from the Shadow Realm—where he’d willingly gone to help Stormy by bringing her spirits—to find a message on his phone. He swipes the screen to read it, seeing that it is from Felicity. There’ll always be a fondness in his soul for Felicity—the first progeny he ever sired. The one who began his slow descent into madness, as it were. The one who introduced him to the addiction. The high that he got from sharing his blood with others. The craving that he has even now, but which he resists with the iron-clad strength of his will. At least, he hopes that his willpower can withstand it.

His skin is paler than usual; greying around the edges. There are bags under his eyes, which are an unnaturally bright blue. The combination of his drained emotions as well as the time spent in the Realm has Jesse a little too tired to want to travel. He sends a reply even as he slowly climbs the stairs, so that he can go drain a few blood packs from the kitchen fridge.

The one thing he loves so much about the realm is how his thirst goes away. Back in the real world, now, it hits him like an anvil to the throat, drying out his veins and making his whole body ache with the need.

Larch would be good. I’m in the kitchen.

He hit send, and goes about preparing his over-large jug of blood.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

Getting his text she smiles reading it. Larch would be good, there seemed to always be blood packs in the fridge and though she fed as often and as much as she could, the itch, the ache was always there telling her she hadn't drank enough. Of course now she knew for a fact there would never really be enough her thirst would always be there. She preferred not to drink from humans anymore, with all the paladins out there it was a risk she really did not want to take. Though when she had to she had some new talents she used to her advantage. Being able to easily lure a human to her so she could feed. Though despite her better judgment she didn't kill them, she simply made sure there thoughts did not leave back to her. Their hadn't been any. At least that she was aware of.


Taking an unneeded breath she pulled her tome from her purse and read the words. She wasn't visible to anyone, so it wouldn't draw attention. She was careful not to pull any unwanted attention her way. Arriving at Larch Court she tried to relax her nerves. She knew the conversation she was going to have with Jesse could go a few ways and she feared that with her new developments mentally he would think her a risk and force her to leave or to die. She wasn't sure what would happen. She was trying to control it but the mind could be a funny thing. She knew she had some issues she needed to understand and figure out and recently she realized she could not do that alone. It wasn't possible for her to do it alone, she needed help and she needed her sire Jesse to understand. She hoped Axel would but before she would tell him she needed to talk to Jesse.


She loved Axel but in her mind she had doubts many doubts. Some things were to good to be true and she figured he would leave her at some point. She feared it but accepted it as truth. He didn't do anything to cause her to think this way but spending most of her life alone and with herself and her work well it was only natural to think she would spend the rest of her life that way. Yes she had her line but she hadn't really connected to anyone and she was hoping to change that. She had connected with Jesse but then things got complicated and after that she seemed to spiral.


Finally making her way to the kitchen she smiled seeing Jesse as she made her way to the fridge. The thirst was there and it seemed worse now that she knew there was blood near by. "Hello Jesse." Seeing him she canted her head to the side arching a brow as she noticed the coloring of his skin, he looked ill. "Are you alright?" It was a simply question and there was concern in her eyes. She didn't know where he had been or what had happened, but he did not look well. Of course lately she was getting use to having a healthy complexion now, something had changed in her and she looked more human that what she was. Her hair was still perfectly blond, and her eyes seemed to only become brighter shades of blue, she really didn't understand that but that was a riddle to solve later on.

[Jesse Fforde]

By the time Felicity arrives, Jesse has filled and warmed a pint sized glass of blood. As he looks at it, he doesn’t think it’ll be enough, at all. But it will have to do. Some nights it’s easy to ignore the hunger—to push it to the side and pretend that it’s not there. Other nights, it’s hard. Like tonight, the dread feeling that even after he had hastily swallowed every last drop of blood from this glass—even if he drains every last drop of blood from the entire fridge—it still won’t feel like enough. It fills him with a desperate kind of despair. One of those rare moments when all else seems to fall away and all he can think about…

…but at that moment, Felicity walks into the room, and for a moment Jesse is distracted. He doesn’t think about Grey and their recent discussions, or the fact that the same thing that had happened the year before is now happening again. There is a clear and easy solution but it’s not one that Jesse is willing to undertake just yet. And so he nods his greeting to Felicity and begins to drain the blood from his glass as his first progeny takes herself to the fridge. Jesse watches, and rolls his eyes as she asks her question.

”I’m pretty fuckin’ awful, thanks for asking,” Jesse says, his voice a little less gruff as the blood coats the back of throat. He licks his lips and holds up his hand, a gesture to stop Felicity from asking whatever it is he knows she’ll ask next.

”I don’t want to talk about it so don’t bother asking,” he says. Jesse believes in being upfront and blunt whenever someone asks him about his wellbeing. Most often it’s a throwaway question that everyone expects everyone else to answer with a vague lie. Jesse refuses to give them that kind of satisfaction. And, before she can even comment upon his rebuttal, he has already moved on:

”Did you come by just to check up on me or is there something more specific I can help you with?” he asks, his knuckles white around the handle of the pint glass, willing himself to keep it steady rather than continuing to slurp the blood like man starved.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

Felicity was taken back by Jesse for a moment, no time to respond, no time to ask any more questions of him. He had already moved on to talking about her. She was on edge lately and she knew that. She knew things were changing within her and she didn't think it had anything to do with being a vampire more with being a telepath. None the less, his mood struck her and she found herself simply saying things now. "I think I have a split personality and I can't remember what it does when it comes to light. I have black spots in my memory, the whole time I was gone this last time. I don't know where I was and I don't know what I did. There are other issues but that is the main issue." She expected nothing good from this.


Not having control over herself was nothing good. She knew she would be considered a risk, and she knew it was true, though she didn't really think that was the purpose of this other personality. She had her own thoughts on what it was and why it was happening. She noticed the changes in her own behavior now, she figured it had something to do with the fact she had gained another personality. She knew she would need help if she were going to figure this out but that would have to wait and see. "Also I think I have been spending to much time in deep thought, it's dangerous and it makes other things worse. Like my anxiety around groups, the reason I am not so good when the line is all together. It's also why I have gotten myself into hobbies now. I don't know how bad this can get and I have kept it a secret for to long. For a while the meditating had helped me and I thought it would be enough but it wasn't and then apparently I left again though I didn't know it."


It was a lot to take in she knew that and she was explaining things as best as she could. Somehow she felt she hadn't broken the masquerade. No if she had she would have a price on her head, someone would be after her and no one was as of right now. She didn't think whatever her other personality was doing it was trying to get her killed, no she thought it was doing something completely different. None the less Jesse had a right to know what was happening usually she wouldn’t have been so blunt but with his mood and the mood she had been in lately it all just seemed to happen. She was curious about Jesse, she wanted to know what was happening and she didn't like seeing him in pain, but she knew very well that he wouldn't talk about it unless he wanted to.

[Jesse Fforde]

Jesse doesn’t feel the need to respond immediately.

The glass of blood is actually forgotten, as the words sink in. As the implication swirl in a foggy mist around his brain. That Felicity could have a split personality, and that the other personality is what’s responsible for her continues absences. The glass of blood is, finally put aside, pushed away on the bench as Jesse crosses his arms over his chest and scrutinizes Felicity. All of his own woes and despairs—the ones that he cannot name or even put much of a finger on—are shoved into little boxes and into the backs of drawers, and slowly his brain begins to focus. All of his concentration upon Felicity and what she has just revealed to him. Trying to make it clear, so that he can respond. It’s obvious that she’s waiting for a response.

”I’d tell you that you should go and see a psychologist. But you are one. You have no idea what this could be? You’ve never had it before?” Jesse asks. Even narrows his eyes as he tries to remember; when he had been with Felicity, at the beginning, when she was turned, had she exhibited erratic behaviour? Had she behaved oddly, as if commanded by two different personalities? He shakes his head. No. He doesn’t think so, so it has to be a new development. He licks his lips and swallows the remnants of blood sticking to the back of his throat and shifts his position as he leans against the bench.

”You’ve always been…you, to me. This other personality—why now, and does it ever come out around family? What has you concluding that it is actually another personality, and that there’s not some other explanation? You think that thinking about it too much makes it worse?” he asks. He hasn’t understood that last part. Does she need something to focus on to keep herself from blacking out? Is that it?

The questions are rapid, and they are many. But Jesse seeks to understand to see what consequences this might have for the family, if any. If nothing bad has happened so far, then perhaps it won’t happen at all. He just finds it curious that if this other personality is a thing, why have none of them seen it? Perhaps logistically there is no harm in it, aside from Felicity’s own discomfort. In which case, perhaps something should be done to help fix her.