counting minutes [reanna]

[Every]

She hadn’t seen him at the computers down in the lobby of the flats or in her apartment, she had sent Desdemona to check at the apartment that he shared with Reanna, sure that her male childe would be there. After her adopted childe had once mentioned that he sat at the computer naked all day, she hadn’t wanted to risk summoning him. However after the time of searching, the wraith had returned that no, Kirill was not in his apartment. He had access to her cabin out in the woods, but of course, her sensors had not been tripped.

At first, the man had been a minor pain in her ***. After turning Hadrian, she didn’t want another male childe. Actually, a large part of her would argue until Nishaa’s siring, she had given up the concept of siring entirely. That feeling had since returned, now that she was back to two blood childer and Reanna, her adopted, but their loyalty kept her from cracking entirely. Family and trust, even after two years, had a wavering topic when it came to Every - sometimes they made her want to run - but they also kept her from leaving.

Murmuring a thank you to her wraith, the brunette stepped quietly through the fadeportal and arrived at Bullwood. She lifted her head to the sky momentarily, squinting through the snowfall as it begun to lightly gather on the jacket that she’d thrown on earlier in the evening before work. When Nishaa had disappeared for months, she’d later learned that a mooncalf had somehow killed her and during that time, Zoe had been killed by that Paladin that typed strange. With each step that the woman took, hearing the snow crunching beneath her shoes, she debated more and more about summoning him.

Lifting her hand to her neck to rub at the skin beneath a black knitted scarf, another idea struck her. There was something else that she could do to locate Kirill and save them both the time and embarrassment (for her) of possibly summoning him naked. Micah had used it on her and she’d only recently translated all but his name. Without thinking another thought and exchanging a few text messages, the woman found herself in her hut some later and sitting in front of her altar.

“Opet.” The words left her lips and she let out a soft hiss the moment that the demifae struck the circle, weakening for a second time before she reached behind her, collecting a container of poison chems and tossing it into place, strengthening the barrier once more. Two more wrong words and she added another, frowning as she straightened up and breathed in quietly.

Pausing as she dug her phone out of her pocket, Every crossed her legs underneath herself and skimmed down the list of names before selecting Reanna and typing out a message to her favorite Russian.

Ray, I’m up in my hut and am doing a ritual to find your husband. Join me?

[Reanna]

She couldn’t believe that he had left her alone.

It not only destroyed the trust she had in him, it destroyed the sanctuary of her apartment. Every moment she spent inside the empty walls sent a shock of pain through her heart. She was more than certain if she needed to bring air into her lungs, she wouldn’t have been able to. It was the way his memory haunted her that had sent her running straight into Micah’s arms. It was a rare moment when the Russian would break down to the point she let another – especially her leader – see her cry, but it was a moment that she couldn’t keep hidden. It hadn’t taken him long to lead her to the fourth floor of the tree house and give her full access to the hidden sanctuary.

That had been more than two weeks ago.

Now, she was curled up on the couch, fingers twisted into her disheveled hair as her pale, dead gaze read the words on her screen. She had been waiting for her adopted sire to realize that Kirill was missing. It had taken her a lot longer than she had originally assumed, but instead of being bitter, she was thankful. She had been dreading this moment. She didn’t want to have to repeat the words, to feel them on her tongue, to look her in the eye and tell her that her husband had killed himself. Swallowing past the pain in her throat, she silently closed her laptop and sent out a few quick texts.

The first was to Micah.

Do not worry if you do not see me here. Every has requested me.

The man was a rock for her, a solid foundation in the hell that she’d been facing for the past month. She knew he’d worry if he came up to find her missing. When she was certain she had used the right words, she brought Every’s message back and frowned. She barely knew the ritual she mentioned, but she had heard of its uses before. With the power behind it, the Russian wouldn’t have to voice a single thing. Of course it was underhanded and she knew that her adopted would be upset, but she had to understand. She had to know how it was tearing her apart inside.

Pulling her hair up into a loose braid, she tried to smooth out the wrinkles in her black t-shirt as she pulled her jacket on. As she hooked her weapons into place, she was simply going through the motions. Her mind – much like the rest of her – was completely numb. Once she was certain she was settled, she texted out two simple words to the woman that was waiting for her.

It was now or never.

Summon me.

[Every]

Every could remember when she and the family had first met Reanna, how the woman had been quiet and didn't leave Kirill's side. It had been on one of the rare occasions that the shadow had coaxed her antisocial childe out of the apartment and to a family event in the Crypt. She remembered the way that Reanna had looked past her on occasion, seemingly annoyed at something that had been said, but Every had brushed it off. After all, when you constantly hear your dead brother then and now your dead stepfather talking at you, one couldn't exactly judge anyone. It wasn't as if she was entirely sure that she herself was sane on more than one occasion, either.

After that, she was there when Kirill and Reanna had Micah bind them. She'd gathered the ingredients herself and had given them to her sire, happy for the two. Even if Kirill had insulted her for the duration of his 'life', she felt proud that the man had found someone to ground him. Recently, it had been him that had reduced her to tears. He had told her that he wanted his sire back, not the self pitying mess that she had been in the past few months. And he was right, that wasn't who had sired him, nor was it the person that Andras and Tytonidae deserved.

Another few words in Fae and she pulled her hand back to collect another container of poison chems, waiting. The red little creature stared at her in anger, its claws visibly being clenched and unclenched in a fist. With the wrong word, she cursed under her breath and watched it move in her direction. Instinctively, her arm lifted and muttered the teleportation spell quickly before it vanished from sight. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and gave a heavy sigh before sitting back up to repeat the ritual - constants first. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she crossed one leg over the other and looked back down at her phone.

She waited.


Reanna's text tone went off, causing Every to jump slightly before she grabbed the device and looked at the message. Grabbing you now. She pressed send, despite knowing she would likely beat the messages arrival as she did as instructed. Even with her issues lately, the relief that showed on her features when she realized her childer trusted her was a soothing balm on her nerves. It made her smile, just a little bit. Of course, the moment that Reanna appeared in front of her, the smile was replaced by an immediate and concerned frown.

"I am going to kill him." She thought unhappily before holding her hand out to the Russian, a floor pillow sitting beside her. "How are you holding up, Ray?" She asked, unable to keep the concern that leaked into her tone away. She glanced back at the demifae that seemed more annoyed with each passing moment and turned her focus back on her childe.

[Reanna]

With her expression guarded, the Russian opened her eyes the second she felt the atmosphere shift. The dreary darkness that had taken over her apartment was replaced with the soft glow of the candles that were scattered around the altar. Before she had a chance to adjust, Every's voice was breaking the silence she had grown so accustomed to. The question, though simple and filled with concern, only seemed to anger her as she let her dead gaze snap to her adopted sire's face.

How was she holding up?

"What kind of question is that?" The words from ripped from her in a snarl, her accent deepening as she ignored the hand that was offered to her. Her fingers trembled as she shoved them through her hair, mussing the brunette strands into complete disarray as she motioned to the altar. "Do you think this is walk in park for me?" She knew she was acting out. The cracks in her wall were shattering, the hurricane of emotions she kept twisted and locked deep inside daring to shine through as a sharp, burning pain shot through her heart.

Everyone she loved left her in the end.
How the **** did she think she was holding up?

"He made promises. He did not keep them. Juliet made promises. She did not keep them. My brother, my parents. Even you!" The room spun around her as she pressed her fingers to her temple, the familiar rush of weakness causing her to stagger back a step. When was the last time she had fed? It didn't matter. None of it mattered. What had she become? She was a shell of the woman she used to be. Every one she let inside always left her in the end. Even her childe had abandoned her for the twisted hell of the realm. She still hadn't fully forgiven him for it.

What was the point of living and believing in others when those you trusted deceived you in the worst possible way?

She wasn't weak. She didn't wallow in self-pity, but how much could she take? Even now, Every dared to look upon her with pity and concern. The very one that brought her into a family and promised to give her what the small, inner child that resided locked behind thorns and cement craved. Yet, it had been hell from the very second she'd been brought in. Szabina had made sure of that. She had made sure that, much like her stint in Altaire, she wasn't welcomed. Without Micah, she would have turned and told them all to ******* rot in hell.

She was better off alone. She had told herself that from the moment she watched the life leave her brother's eyes. She was better off on her own. Yet, the human part of her had wanted connection. She had allowed herself to open up, and she had been let down. Gritting her teeth, she gripped the wall behind her and slumped to the floor, the fight draining from her as she drew her knees to her chest. The tears choked her, her body trembling as she dropped her head onto her crossed arms and hid her face from her sire's view as the first tear fell.

"He left me, Every. He... he left me."

[Every]

"One that you ask when you care."

She answered and watched, her hand lowering. She finished the last few words in the ritual without looking at the result, standing as her hair fell down her back. What did she mean? She wondered as she got to her feet. Reanna was usually the calm one. Her hazel eyes scanned the other female, taking in her appearance once more. Yes, Every was worried. "I doubt it is." She replied and walked forward, her bare footsteps on the recently replaced wooden floor quiet. As she staggered backwards, the worry peaked and Every stepped forward quickly. Her arm curled around the younger woman, uncaring that Reanna seemed pissed at her. "A lot has been going on, Ray, but I will never leave you." She felt her heart twist painfully at the words being spoken. She'd once said similar words, about her father and her brother.

She remembered being so angry at Michael's funeral, screaming at a picture at him. "Reanna, I'm not leaving you. I'm here. Nishaa, Micah, Velveteen. We're here." There was a growing feeling a pit of discomfort in her stomach. "When was the last time you fed?" Every didn't wait for an answer as she moved her hand down to curl her slender fingers around the woman's wrist. She blood healed her twice, waiting just to be sure to do any more. Despite the guilt rising in her system, Every pushed it down and tried to ignore it. Where the hell was Kirill? Where was Aksel? She asked the d silently and glanced towards the altar to get her answer for her childe. At the location that the demifae had left her, she felt the pit of her stomach turn to ice. "That... can't be possible."

The Shadow Realm.

She swallowed as she let go of Reanna only for a few moments. She walked closer to the altar, each step slow and reluctant. Every hadn't read it wrong. She mouthed the location over and over again as a part of her shattered. Kirill, who had always been so intent on driving her nuts, was dead. There had been no obit, but he was Andras and he wasn't one to feed on humans, so he couldn't have been killed by Ty. She hadn't gotten a message for it. A pit of ice replaced the guilt in her stomach, clenching her insides like a fist as she focused on Reanna behind her.

She cut off her own emotions, turning on her heel and the second her childe fell, they came back like a freight train the second the woman slumped to the floor. "Reanna." She wasn't good with crying herself and once upon a time, she would have ran as fast as she could just to escape the sound of them. When she moved, her feet couldn't carry her fast enough to the woman's side and she knelt down in front of her. She felt a tear of her own trickle down her cheek and she gave a weak, forced smile, "I'll drag him back from that place myself." Without another word, she sank down into a sitting position and curled her arms around Reanna.

She set her chin lightly on the other brunette's shoulder, tugging her closer gently. "He's always with you Ray, he'll be back. I can cross over without the need to die. I will go see what the hell got into his mind." Her voice trembled, but steadied out with each word spoken while she closed her eyes and thought of the telepaths she knew that could get a direct message to him.

[Reanna]

The kind you ask when you care.

It was a line that she did not believe, and yet, the woman tried to feed it to her anyway. How did she expect her to believe that she cared? She was never there. She ran and disappeared whenever she wanted, leaving them to fend off the world alone. Cold. It was no different that Juliet, she was no different. She wore a different face, she was from a different place, sported a different attitude – but she was still the same in her selfish need to abandon and be on her own. Clenching her teeth together until her gums ached, she curled her fingers tighter into her hair as her tears soaked her cheeks. She was thankful that the woman couldn’t see her eyes, the hatred burning in the jade depths, because it was misplaced and irrational. In a more logical part of her mind, she knew that. She understood it.

Her emotions simply did not allow her to reach it.

She had never been one to handle it well. She always prided herself on being strong and independent, on being someone that had a heart made of ice. She had hoped, once Juliet had turned her, it would have only grown more to her liking. Instead, she had been taught to let people in. It went against everything she had ever been taught, the things that had been engraved her heart and mind since she was a teenager. She was trained to not let people get the best of her, to not allow them manipulate her to care, but her sire had wormed her way past the barriers and it had been her downfall. Now, she was curled on her adopted sire’s floor, her face buried in her arms, and she was sobbing. ******* sobbing over her ******** of a husband.

He was the weak one.

He was the one who had abandoned her, who had opted for death because of an argument.

That was the only thing she could think of, the only reason. He was gone, and it was because he was weak. When she felt the woman’s arms curl around her, she had to swallow back the growl that threatened to spill from her lips. She wanted to lash out at her, to blame her again and again, but despite her weakened emotional state, she managed to control that irrational reaction. It wouldn’t have benefited either one of them, and she knew she would only grow to regret it later – and she hated regrets. Instead, she placed her hands on the floor at her sides, feeling the cool fabric as it numbed her palms. Panic began to fill her at the thought of the woman entering the darkness. What if she didn’t return? Was it just another ploy for her to leave her, too?

“You have gone long enough. You stay here.” She snapped, voice muffled from the bow of her head and lips pressed to her knees. She was no better than a child begging for mother’s attention in the state she was in and it was because of her husband she had been resorted to it. The thought of him alone in that place of isolation had her stomach twisting in knots, despite her anger at his betrayal. He had left her, and yet, she still found herself wanting to embrace the power that would allow her to cross into the realm to find him. Her terror of the darkness didn’t matter to her.

Since when had she become so weak?

[Every]

It had been difficult for a while. Vanishing at random points, reappearing as if she’d never left at all. Sometimes she found herself staring at the shop keep after a week and a half, the man looking just as puzzled as she was when she looked at the calendar. At first, Every suspected that she’d been blacking out because of something in the blood she’d been drinking which prompted her to once again return to blood packs or boosting until it happened a week later when she hadn’t touched any blood from a vein. Not one to ask for help, she had retreated to seclusion where it worked well enough.

People were angry with her and she knew it, but her family were adults and they could take care of themselves without her. Eventually, when her issue became too much, she would ask for help. She knew she would, she always did, however, after her fight with Micah that resulted in him calling her a ‘cowardly *****’ he wasn’t going to be asked. Maybe someone else in the faction. Velveteen, Doc.

For the longest time, for Every, she had taken care of herself and her intentions were to do just that. She wanted to find the source of the issue, analyze it. The depression still lingered, but she’d been since pushing those feelings of worthlessness aside for a better part of it – the rude awakening that came with Kirill telling her that he wanted his sire back had helped more than she cared to admit. “Hell, them staying with me was an awakening in their own while those two took the easy way out. Family sticks together, I don’t care if they hated me or not.” She thought bitterly as she listened to Reanna sobbing.

It twisted the depths of her stomach in a way she hated, gripping her with guilt and remorse, and because of that, she found herself thinking of her younger sister briefly when news of Michael’s death arrived after Every had finally gotten a hold of herself. She remembered the way the girl had sobbed, remembered the way that she had felt selfish for the longest time where she hadn’t been there for those that needed her the most. Squeezing Reanna gently, she tried to remember the best way to comfort others – it really had never been a strong suit. In fact, normally when people cried she ran as quickly as she could in the opposite direction and when a man cried? She was essentially a deer in headlights.

When she was snapped at, Every flickered briefly and managed to resist a wince as she frowned. She felt the words form on her lips that she wasn’t aware that Reanna always needed her around. It wouldn’t have helped anything and as she adjusted to sit in front of the other woman, she removed a clean silk handkerchief from the pocket of her jeans. “Then I’ll send my wraith.” The brunette replied softly, reaching over to lift her adopted childe’s chin so she could see the handkerchief. “Take this, dry off your face. I have his location and when someone banishes her, I will have the obnoxious one go yell at him.”