There was always uncertainty in the world, but the world never seemed like such a big place before. Even Harper Rock, this dead-end little city in the middle of nowhere acting like its very own universe, was both incredibly small and worthless, and absurdly large and significant. Of course Levi knew what these two walls tearing him apart represented: his struggle with the Human world and this Vampiri one. He wasn’t sure about whether he could leave one for the other, but despite his hesitation, he knew an ultimatum was inevitable. He had people on both sides pushing and pulling for an answer and that night when CC had encouraged him to ‘die’ and truly be reborn, he realised how full of fear he was. It was disgusting to him, to care so much about something; especially that one thing he’d convinced himself was nothing but a pain in the arse, an inescapable fact of his upbringing and his life.
Cosa Nostra meant our thing, our concern, it was something you lived with. It became a part of you as much as you became a part of it. You couldn’t leave unless you were dead and if you ever left before that, then you were probably never a part of it to begin with. Levi couldn’t leave it because he couldn’t die – no pretence would ever change how he felt. For all his passion, however, there was a deep-seated mistrust for his own kind because he knew them, because he was just like them. They couldn’t get what he had so they couldn’t find out about him, but at the same time, he realised that he couldn’t hide forever. That wall pulling him to his old, familiar world had a more fathomable consequence and time-frame. Levi knew it wouldn’t be long before Nicoletti’s men would find him. At first it would be a warning, an encouragement – a silent gun behind the back where Levi would be forced into a sit-down. He would have to explain himself, but what could he say? He was stupid not to have given this more thought.
After a few hours of reading reports incorrectly, and typing documents and responses with all the capabilities of a dyslexic crab, Levi had decided that he’d had enough. His mind just wasn’t in the right zone to be dealing with this crap and if one more ******* thing blew up in his face tonight he was sure to shoot someone. Levi pushed his chair back, stabbing the computer’s power button with his thumb. He didn’t care that he hadn’t shut it down correctly. Quite frankly, it was lucky he hadn’t thrown it through the damn window. Levi marched over to the door of his office, ready to punch the light switch off and head out when he heard the sound of footsteps coming up the corridor. Nobody worked at night save the security guards and himself, and since Barzetti and Caro would call ahead rather than stalk the corridors, there was no doubt that he had some uninvited guests on the premises. A quiet calmness washed over Levi and he readied the Beretta. He wasn’t just going to shoot on sight – that would be messy. Instead, Levi backed away from the door and stood near the desk, waiting.
They stir up strife, they lurk; they watch my steps, as they have waited for my life. Psalm 56:6.