The Deserted Asylum Diaries.

[Pyper]

*Note: These dictations will not be following real time dates. These journal entries were hand written copies (due to not having consistent internet access) and then transcribed into forum posts. They start to take place just after the handwritten journal ended.

I N T R O D U C T I O N

Pyper sat alone in the middle of a minimally decorated apartment building. It belonged to Roderic but hardly anyone knew she had keys to it, as far as her knowledge extended on the matter. They knew of her nesting in Phoenix's and that was only because of the night she was turned and paraded in front of the lineage. An overstraining meet-and-greet. Roderic's apartment ensured a certain level of privacy.

The tape recorder held a dull shine on its surface; the blonde had given it a thorough wipe down while studying it. A new rape was ready to capture a hard copy of her memories. All she had to do was . . .

CLICK

". . . "

The same finger that prematurely drive itself into the recording button pressed down again. What if someone found these reflections? Hiding a singular book had been simple, but multiple tapes? Pyper planned to exhaust the machine, or her vocal cords before finding a new outlet. Scoping through the very limited amount of nooks, her eyes flickered in their sockets. They bounced around the room, stopped.

The sink. Cabinets shield the underbelly of the sink and the pipes would certainly provide crevices she can wedge the cassettes into. And with the aid of tape, it may not matter how many she'd compile. Regardless, the temporary location sufficed enough for her to continue on.

CLICK

"My name is Lucretia Mercy Thisben. Roderic says it's a mouthful. The date is [stretched out silence] July thirtieth. Two thousand and fourteen. I am twenty-four years old. I came from a red brick building. We called it The Ward. I ran, and found Harper Rock."

Periodically, a word stuck on her tongue. The effort to permanently eradicate her jerky speech patterns was a slow going process.

"I belong to Phoenix. I don't know what her real name is. Or how old she is. I stay in her apartment a lot. Not tonight. Tonight I am... [long pause] somewhere else."

Joints were forced together on her left hand by the right, echoing in the room. When Charles listened to this later, would he be able to hear her knuckles cracking in a relatively empty space?

"I don't like you listening to me."

CLICK- END OF RECORDING

The anxiety of someone possibly listening through the walls of the Flatts apartments discouraged any further details of her personal information. Someone had moved and bodily knocked into the dividing slabs of paint, wire mesh and plaster. Perhaps conversing with the outdated instrument in the Flatts wasn't in the best interest of Pyper. Or of Charles, since he would be the only other person with her permission to play these recordings. All of the bumps in the night drew the names Proulx and Anais to the forefront of her paranoid thoughts.

It was not entirely a stretch. Not after requesting the hospital transcripts of several of her interviews with the doctor. Certainly not after she had sent - with her name scrawled at the top - Anais an aggressively chicken scratched letter provoking her into traveling to Harper Rock.

The woman that assumed the alias Pyper F. Altaire twisted in place. If she could not vocalize her musings here, then where?

Predictable habits and behaviors (or reactionary actions) become their own advantageous opportunities. If a person doesn't see the deviating routines as too counter intuitive to the primary goal. Pyper's mind chews over the only building within the Quarantine Zone that she's never permitted herself to enter: The Deserted Asylum. At first, it's an idea that's outright rejected. Too many residual emotional seeds flare at seeing very ordinary objects. A bottle of rubbing alcohol, cotton swabs, or a popsicle stick could lure out a distraught series of physical tantrums. Swinging hands to combat and drive away painful, and vivid recollections of her time with medical practitioners.

Both eyelids absently yield to their growing weight and slowly, she began to succumb to sleep. That gap between her sleeping state and the awake, a foggy mind considered the hollow building separated from the one she currently resided in by a tall plain of grass.

Maybe no one would look there for her . . .

[Pyper]

D I C T A T I O N - I.

CLICK

"Date: Sunday. October Fifth, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

The recording pauses. There were so many things to be said. The machine remained unused for several weeks. Lucretia had designated more time to spend on her projects; but the more hours devoted to the continuous, repetitive weaves of a needle and thread, the less improvement she saw. In fact, Pyper noted a decline in her stitching patterns.

CLICK

"I.. have much to say. This device collected dust, but I cleaned it off.

My Tibetan eye chart practices improved eyesight - to my observations - because I see further. When the zombies move, I see where quicker, before they do it. I will continue to make notes and utilize the charts I printed.

I nested, I settled. In both apartments. I have keys, but they aren't mine. A man found my hand in his pocket. When he saw, I ran. I thought I was better, faster. Sometimes I can take a lot of money. Fifty-four dollars. More than should be in someone's pocket. But he saw. He came and found me, later. Told me if I needed money, I just had to ask. I don't need money. Roderic pays very well, as an employer. He does bonuses, too. I like to reinforce steady hands. Make the shaking stop. Without Charles' instrument. You can't use that in pockets. That man put one hundred thousand dollars into my account. I bought an apartment with it. Simone said I was either stealing or prostituting. She said it was wrong, but I wasn't touching his parts. I was only looking for money. Roderic told me I should give the money back. Everyone thought it was weird. More, when I told him he could stay there. It was his money, it seemed fair. His name is Axel but not the Axel I knew already. His ash pile is still in the apartment. His leg isn't a leg.

Roderic said he'd make sure I had enough to give back. I wouldn't have, if he hadn't. I felt bad. I still have the apartment, I moved my stuff in. Some of it, is still in Roderic's apartment. I have to take those, soon.

I met people. I told Phoenix that I wanted to. I did.

S I M O N E :
- Co-worker at Happy Tree Taxidermy.
- Physical touching seems to be acceptable and encouraged. Mostly hugs.
- Have yet to establish craftsmanship. Phoenix gave positive input.

M O N I Q U E :
- Allurist. I still don't know, what that means. Not fully.
- Quote: "I think on some level a Telepath has to have a touch of insanity but they're also in tune with their minds."
- Invited to the apartment. Have to make a key for, soon.

N E V A E H :
- Decorator.
- Telepath, like I am.
- Very energetic. Welcoming. I'd like to continue to speak, to her.
She says that she wants to teach me. To draw, like Jesse does, with his tattoos.

J A Y D :
- Flirt. I didn't know he was, Nevaeh told me after he flirted with me.
- Works with wires, robots.
- Does not like his things moved.

I'm also, prepping for my first Halloween. I want to be a nurse. I have the fabric. Phoenix and Simone are going to help, make it look like those nurses in that movie. Quiet Hill. No.. Silent Hill. The name of the movie. Charles said I should have a bone saw. He said I could borrow an old one that he has. He also suggested to splatter the blood I want to stain, on the uniform. To make it look better. Not to pour it on. I need blood packs for that. I told him I'd show him what it looked like, after it's done. He doesn't know what he wants to be.

My next project is waiting. It's a mask, for Roderic. I also have to collect. I need bones for Simone. Ask Phoenix about the staff.

I'm done speaking now."

CLICK

[Pyper]

B R I E F - S U M M A R Y.

CLICK

"Date: Tuesday. October Seventh, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

Begin at the beginning.

"In the pages of my book, I wrote about Leah. Phoenix said that Leah was never coming back. I don't know if I miss her or not, maybe not now since it's been so long. I can't recall her face, in the boxes I've stored. In the copies. It isn't there anymore. Leah did try to teach me things. I don't think she was a very good teacher, though. I don't know what I was suppose to learn. I'm finding more teachers, though. Ones that have techniques. Legitimate tactics.

I went to see Simone.

I like to look at her pictures. The ones that are on her skin. They're there forever, aren't they? They'll never come off. But there are hennas. Other paints. Maybe like Paige's, but I've never seen them. She's nice. I haven't seen her at work, we go in at different times. I saw her work, though. She gave me a sword. It's not the same as my staff. I have yet to train with it, with the zombies and wild ones. I can't kill the .. Mooncalves. Those are the large creatures, a jumbled mess. Of parts.

Nevaeh and I talked about preferences. She dated a lot of women, she said. Then she met Emmy. Emmy is nice, he winks. I don't know a lot of people who have done that. It's suppose to signify, playfulness. I tried it but you should only do it with one eye. Not both. Emmy said that practice will make it natural. Paraphrasing.

I didn't know what my preference was. So I kissed Simone, after she gave me the sword. She let me. Kissed back. I didn't dislike it. I did like it. She said that didn't mean, that I only liked women. I have not kissed a man.

We dove off a bridge later, she taught me how to swim. The hospitals never kept the water very high. A girl named Lucy dunked her head under the water. Drowned that way, but there was no one to watch her, and keep her up. I don't think I can drown, not anymore. I don't think water is very good for me. I can't eat food, I throw it up. Maybe it's the same, for any liquids. Except blood.

We are going to get books from the Honeymead Library soon. I still need to find bones for the scythe. A brush for my costume.

I need a list. A planned booklet.

I have to go now."

CLICK - END OF RECORDING

[Pyper]

B R I E F - S U M M A R Y. II

CLICK

"Date: Friday. October Tenth, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

Take a deeeep breath, Lucretia.

"I don't know what changed, something did. Something left, and it won't come back. What are these thoughts? This tightening, in my chest. I don't sleep so often, I go looking for the man. The one from the first night. I want to know why he chased me here. I want to know who he is. I've never known his face, just that he's a very large, specimen. It keeps thoughts away, tucked deep inside, so I don't have to examine them. It keeps me away from the projects. I don't want to touch them, look at them.

I need, a break."

CLICK - END OF RECORDING.

[Pyper]

I N - A D D I T I O N

CLICK

"Date: Friday. October Eleventh, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

Rapid decline.

"At the library, I studied his books. He would leave, and I learned. More about what he knew. Who I thought he was. He could help. Help me. Make me the way, everyone else is. Make me normal. Phoenix said normal is boring. But it is safe. Normal doesn't, attract attention. Normal will never kill you.

But he was not Altaire. He was a human. 'We can't trust anyone who is not Altaire.' So it means double, for humans. Doesn't it? So I continued. To watch and to observe. To make sure he was right.

Then I made him.
Now he is mine. My long term, project.

His transition was not well. He didn't assimilate, like I did. Phoenix says he needs time, to be better. I showed him the woods, where I killed a wolf. I gave the pelt, I pulled off of it, to Roderic. I remember. He's met Calix. I have not met Calix. Not yet. He also also met Monique. Abigail. He never said whether he liked, any of them. I brought Bastian with me. I thought if, he saw the things, that this place, can revive, he would like it more. Be interested. Stay.

He did not.
He vomited, after seeing Bastian.

He tried to leave. His wheels - they are part of his chair, I've had one before - got caught. Maybe on a branch. A root. He fell. I tried to help him. I grabbed the chair. Put it back, the right way. He yelled at me. For making him. He had other people. A family, from before. What I did, was I wrong? I felt wrong. These things I do, they make people, avoid me. Roderic changed his locks. I can't visit anymore. He says for his projects. That was never, an issue. Now it is.

Paige said what I did was selfish. I don't understand what she meant. Maybe I exhibit this, more, than I know. I went looking, for my childe but, I did not find him. I told Phoenix, originally, that I couldn't go back. To comfort him. He didn't want me. I told her to go to him. Find him. Have the things to say, that I don't. On the way, through the sewers. I saw a hunter, and I am not good with the sword Simone have, to me. I wanted him to hurt me. I have not had wounds in a very, long time. One won't be bad. My stitching was poor. I still bleed through them. On the dress. One that I bought. But I feel better.

I should find Phoenix soon. She's helping me change the locks. So Axel can't come in. I might wait. Until I talk to Roderic. So she doesn't waste, energy, like she said.

I will go, look for him. My childe.
For Ethan."

CLICK - END OF RECORDING.

[Pyper]

O N W A R D;

CLICK

"Date: Tuesday. October Fourteenth, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

Build me up . .

"My head flooded. It brimmed, and it was crammed. I saw things, the things I am suppose, to make. I wanted to, have them. Distract me. I need to have projects. Make use, of the block in the apartment. The man, gave it to me. At a good price. Not too expensive. He helped me, get it inside. Just a human. I didn't, feed. From him. It would be bad, draw attention. People, would watch me. My apartment. Ethan would, not feel comfortable. Will not come home. If that happened.

Projects. There are six.
I have six, to do. Not much time to do them.

But they must be, perfect. For all. They are gifts. I thought, considered. About cages. I have not, finishd Phoenix's gift. It will be, the first that I complete. Because it is, late. She doesn't know, that I wanted to make anything. A phoenix, for Phoenix. But, I changed my mind. I found, black iron. A rounded dome, a prison. I saw the birds, they would be perfect. But, not the right color. I can find, that color, I can purchase, paints in cans. That will, be what I do. Tonight.

I also, wanted, to show my gifts. I need a book, and take photos. Make, histories, of my work. So I can always see them. See my improvements. Have other peope, see my improvements. I have to, buy one. And tape. Camera.

I should do that, now. While I have the time. First, the birds."

CLICK - END OF RECORDING.

[Pyper]

F U T H E R M O R E;

CLICK

"Date: Wednesday. October Fifteenth, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

Collection, complete. Preparations, underway.

"I found, a book, with pages that I can put the pictures in. Slides to keep them from falling out. I don't, want to glue them. It might ruin, the quality. Prestine, to maintain age. Not to break down, become indistinguishable. It rests, in the dresser. Next to the bed. I should move it in the work, area. It is where, I would be using it. Makes more sense.

The collection of materials, is done. I have enough, bones and pelts. To work with. Make what I need, for the others. Not for me. I sold, the mooncalf bones, in order to save to buy, more thread. More needles. A spray, gun. For the birds. To light, them up. Set the fire, on them. Like the phoenix. These won't be. I have, the wires. They will, hover. Above. A caged bird, sings. Different songs, then the ones outside. Will Phoenix hear them?

Nevaeh said, people like flowers. I don't, want ones, that will wilt and that, die. I want to make, my own. Two. One for, Nevaeh. One, for Simone. I estimate, to have enough time, to finish them. Before Roderic's. I am reconsidering, prior ideas. For the mask.

I have not, located Ethan. I will, wait, for him to be comfortable. To come to me. He knows, what apartment. Has a key. He might need, help into the sewers. Into, the caged area. Quarantine. He could, call. I make sure, my phone is on. Is loud. Some times, I hear nothing, but work. The sounds of cloth. Of breaking skin. Squeals. Squeaks. Rumbles. When I hunt.

I should visit, Simone. Tell her, about the project. I plan, to finish the birds, tonight. Then tomorrow, the wiring. Final touches.

I hope Phoenix, likes it."

CLICK - END OF RECORDING.

[Pyper]

W I T H - R E G A R D S - T O

CLICK

"Date: Wednesday. October Fifteenth, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

Later.

"I, found Ethan, tonight. In a building, Wickbridge. He called me sire. I prefer, Pyper. Phoenix, is a sire. I'm, learning, still. He went through, my badg. Was looking for Bastian. I left him at home, with the project. Phoenix's gift, is ready. I obtained an old, camera. A man, said that it could take, instants. No need, to develop. No time wasted in between, one project. And another. So, Ethan couldn't see him.

He was better, than the first night. He didn't yell. He wasn't angry. There are questions, people. To prompt, for him. He doesn't, like violence. Doesn't show, interest in hunting, zombies. Like I do. I, need to introduce him. To Saige. She likes to hack, and he, wants to. Phoenix, would be good, to have him, practice. On the altars. The ones, that change the locks. Mine, need to be changed. I don't, think that they, have been. I have to ask. Ethan, says, that he should find a job. I, will ask around tomorrow. Ask Phoenix, if someone is looking. Or, have him, ask all of Altaire. He could, meet more people, that way. Be open. Social.

He apologized. I sat in his chair, with him. He touched my hands. I tried, to see if he could really feel. His legs. He can't, I made sure. He said he was sorry, for the last time. I started, to understand. He explained, too. So, I know his side. I considered it. I weighed it. It made, sense. I'm not, upset with him. I worried, for him. For us. He rests, in that building, often. I plan to start going to him. He also, said, he'd let me help him. Come home. Once a week. He will, like the apartment. I think. Nevaeh, did a good job. I feel, relaxed. At home.

I rushed, back. I wanted, to eat. There were, several hunters. I was slow, and, I didn't mean to. Not this time. Not to get hurt. I have to pretend, to be normal. Like the standard. He shot me, through my stomach. I have to throw out, another dress. It was easier, when I just had, one."

CLICK - END OF RECORDING.

[Pyper]

M O R E O V E R

CLICK

"Date: Saturday. October Eighteenth, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

Another.

"I gave, Phoenix. Her present. The cage, and the birds. She seemed to like it. I wonder, if she will put it, in her apartment. The one that, I used. Or another one. Maybe she has, several. I never asked. But, I don't think I, should. I have, to start Roderic's project. With Simone's. I think, I told her. About the surprise. The present. I have enough bones. I, am undecided. On adhesive. Glue, can drip. It could hurt. Help. I should look, for another opinion. Someone else.

I also, made another. I didn't, follow him. Not like Ethan. He rode, in a truck. The, flashing lights hurt my eyes. I wanted to, always find the truck. See them, handle accidents. Handle, hurt people. Their techniques. If there, is stitching. He, was always there. He saw me. More than once. So, I made him. Like I made Ethan. Now he, is mine, too.

I need, to introduce. Them. Ethan, to Eli. Eli to, Ethan. They, should. Get along. I hope."

CLICK - END OF RECORDING.

[Pyper]

T O F U R T H E R D I S C U S S

CLICK.

"Date: Saturday. October Twentieth, Two Thousand and Fourteen."

~

The silence stretched on. When she played this back for Charles, they'd both hear the air staling. Or the smooth slide of the tape winding to record every noise. Even its own.

CRACK.

Pyper remembered speaking to Calix about secrets. Why people have them. What was the criteria that categorized an omission as one? Calix at the time explained that a secret might have been something better left unsaid. The truth was like that, from the way he translated it to her. Regardless of whether this one theory made sense, it was taken in to be picked apart and applied to other situations she'll observe in the future.

CRACK.

She had a secret. Something told to a very limited pool of people. Her birth name. Why did she hide this? Safety? She didn't want to be hauled back to the ward. To be like the melancholic counterparts of her present to Phoenix; Pyper didn't want to be a caged bird. But upon retrospect, crossing the border would have shrunk that potential danger. In the hospital, the staff held onto their collective, underestimation of the patients. All up until incidences tore their illusionary, utopian view of the hive. People were the same outside towards any defective persons. They treated her like a child.

CRACK.

What about the man? If she was safe here in Harper Rock, why did he continue to follow her? Who was he? She couldn't use her name with everyone. He would find out, he would tell the hospital. She would have to go back. No Phoenix. No Roderic. No Ethy, and no Eli.

CRACK.

A journal was a place to have documentation of life events. A place for her secrets. Copies only held so much before they refused to absorb her force-fed memories. Was it a good idea to tell the borrowed tape recorder everything? She always hid it when she got home. If it ever moved, it was only because she moved it.

CRACK.

"I have, a feeling. Something is wrong, with me. I noticed, never said anything, to Phoenix. To anyone. I stopped, practicing imitations. Of the television. How they, phrase. Pronounce. Time, their words. Paige noticed, too. I lied. To her. I have, never lied to Paige before. I am not, happy, that I did. I should apologize. Tell, her that I didn't, mean to. I shouldn't, have. It's been, this bad before. Anais' notes, the recording. I have, heard myself. Be this way. Before. I hear it, now. In my voice. In me. If, I practice more. A little longer, it could go away. Be, better. And people, won't notice. Ask. Ispect, to fix me. They, could be like Anais. Dr. Proulx. Eli, could. Ethy. - No, no. No. No... "

CLICK.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - easy breath - 5, 7, 8, 9, 10.

CRACK. CLICK.

"I finished, Roderic's mask. It's actually, been done. For a night. I could have, given it, to him, last night. I forgot, he left. We, talked. Before last night. Emmy, gave me, advice. About how, pairs feel. About one another. How, he felt, about Nevaeh. I understood some. Of what he said. Not all. People should, talk about. How they feel. Analyze the, emotions. I told, Roderic. How I viewed things. I got nervous. I shouldn't have. I still, don't know, why I did. He said, he would think. About what, I said. He came back, to my apartment. Again, last night. I was, examining, Eli. He came home. Smelled like, blood. He had, bullet marks. I wanted, to stitch them closed. I didn't, get hurt," Hurt was the wrong word, "that he came. I would know. His decision. We talked, in another room. Work room. Ethy, spent time, with Eli. When he came home.

Roderic said he wanted. To be pairs, with me. We will, try. We kissed. I kissed him. It wasn't, like others."

CLICK. - END OF RECORDING.

Pyper sat with her back flattened to the wall underneath the desk to nurse's station. The asylum was a tomb for memories; people lost pieces of themselves and the walls became their eternal sarcophagus. From time to time, among the chill of the empty examination rooms, maybe there was a whisper. Just one word. Probably the word these ghosts felt defined their prior existence the most. It was one of the Altaire's theories.

With her knees up to her chest, and the recorder resting on their peaks, she processed. The act of it paralyzed her every cell. Her eyelids abandoned their singular function and she fell into an intense state of catatonia.

One whisper; one word.
Cataclysmic.