''Why am I doing this? I can't send it home.. Mama thinks me dead, Robert says if I even attempt to return, I'll be cut down at the border. Why did I learn their language? For him, for Tia.. for me? It's a thing I struggle with, hence why these logs are in my own tongue, that and so very few can understand it. If any could understand the ramblings of a childish idiot as Robert so thinks me. To any and all who find these tapes. I beg of you leave at once, this place is avoided even by the gods, there is no salvation here, there is no safety. Only death awaits.Private: Info here not to be used unless Ivy shares it personally. (All written in Russian anyway)
Day 1: These reports will survive until I have someone to give them to. I landed here several months ago and since then.. since then the laws of nature have been bent, the laws of Freya have been broken and the angels have abandoned us, shadows move freely here and nightmares are frequent, No medicine will cure them anymore.. No food will sate this hunger, alcohol is only good for burning now. I daren't tell the man who created me.. He will merely pass them off as normal, or simply more ammunition to fuel his growing dislike of me, he made this, he turned me into a monster because I was too scared to die.. And yet I have died many times within the confines of this city.
Day 2: Well this is hardly surprising, hell has caught up with me, you can only run so far before even the darkness catches up. I have two childer, one wants to wed me, the other seems rather fluent in the words of the Motherland, Robert told me once he'd die for his childer if they needed him to. I disagree with that notion, if I die to protect my own, who will protect them from those who killed me? All I will do is simply prolong their end. The shield arm is useless if it too can't wield an axe. The nightmares didn't come today.
Day 3: The Paladins are losing trust in me, if they had it at all. They ask too much too soon, they think because they let me in, I'd bow down and be their pet. They have another thing coming if that's the case, their leader, Verne. Seems to speak Russian too and yet he knows nothing of how the Motherland works, thinking I'll give The Order everything they ask for and give me nothing in return. The only reason I haven't turned on them is because I need them, I have no need for them in one piece however and I doubt Killian cares either, as long as the job gets done. Unless the tables turn and they start negotiating fairly, information for information is something they don't want. They think I'll do anything they ask because what? They think I fear them, that they know my name and will kill me? I can come back, they don't. It's them who should fear us.
Day 4: So this ghost woman who showed up a few weeks ago, she finally proved herself worth the hassle. She finished mapping out the Eyrie, the great fortress that those cowards hide inside, The Order will want this map, so will Fifth, should I share it? If I do then they have no defence anymore, but neither will I. No.. I'm keeping this map secret, hidden.. the moment they try to kill me, I'll hang it out, survivors blackmail. They aren't stupid, they wouldn't risk their precious home being broken into by the entire city. This ghost told me her name a few days ago, Ava.. I don't know why she's here, she says to help me. She showed up when I lost an eye to the Feral beasts hiding behind the great fence, she's helped me see, she helped me navigate when my darling was in work.
Day 5: I found a head in the fishing lake.. it doesn't look familiar and I'm grateful for it, I showed mercy to someone who attacked me, I found them, hunted them for the better part of a month.. They threatened a human friend of mine, they attacked me, and yet I couldn't pull the trigger.. Freya knows I wanted to, but I didn't. Robert would call it strength, letting your enemy live. Personally it's a weakness, letting them live so they can come and kill you in your sleep? Seems a bit suicidal to me but even this Ava woman agreed on letting him survive. I guess when you're already dead.. dying is pointless. Which is why I've given my arm to the humans, they need a sword and I'd be happy to protect them, they can still die.. they can't come back, they are fragile like dolls. But they're the best hope of survival this damnable city has, they want to close the gates of hell that allow us to keep coming back, they want to wipe the ones who'd kill me and my family for sport off the face of the planet and I'm more than happy to help. This city is in war.. Humans against vampires is hardly a fair fight so I joined the losing side, I can convince others to as well, one way or another we'll level the playing field and who knows.. maybe it'll stop these nightmares?
