--Life's a Circus PRT 2.---

[Prudence]

Being a sire is ******* hard work. Ami don't bug anyone none, just works at the bar all the time. But CC is scary. she's got all them emotion things and it really controls her actions. it's scary! I don't know what to do about her, but I think she musta been bipolar before I sired her.

don't know much about nova, cause she's pretty quiet and from what I can tell she's attached to my glitter bomb's leg or something. I think she and Mordie got something going on and that's alright, but I felt something strange when I heard that glitter and nova were hanging with him a lot. I mean he's a good guy and he wouldn't steer them wrong cause I helped him when he was a young vamp, but it seemed strange.

but I dont wanna write about that, what I do wanna write about is: never sire another person that might be an allurist or mini vamp again. I got glitters and cliff going at it like kid's on a playground and getting put in the middle of it and I'm ready to take a vacation or go to the sr cause I can't figure out how to please either one of them. I'm gonna tell 'em to go to the gauntlet first and if that **** don't work, just meet in the back room of the bar and duke it the **** out. they're vampires, bruises, cuts and bullet wounds heal.

anyways, there is this raid going on I stumbled on thanks to annie and hopefully that'll help clear my mind. if not, I'm bouncing off to the sr for a day and whatever ******* happens happens.

[Prudence]

businesses, lemme tell ya some wacked **** about that.

people be doing some shady ****, when I don't even know who the **** they are or been talking to or at them.
like one day, Killian picked up my camera. what the ****? so I put another one down, then that mother ******* day, Asher steals it. I just put that ****** down. why are both these dragomir fuckers messing with me, when me and Killian got over our **** and agreed to ignore the other, and I don't even remember talking two seconds to Asher in my life. So I email Asher and he says he'll replace it, but here we are like three days later or some **** and I know he's around. Annie told me. Killian said he'll replace mine too, but jesus christ.

Then later that day, I hear people are hacking away in some cafe from one of my family members. I go and check it and all of a sudden I see Nix and her kiddo. and mine gets hacked like boom, boom, boom. viruses up the ***. and I'm like bitches please. I don't even know why people gotta **** with **** when I'm just seeing what's going on. her mini-vamp goes running off and nix tries to scare me, but I don't even care. I don't care about her, or her failed hacker mini-vamp, I just don't like the sneaky ****. obviously dude has beef with me when I've never even ******* met him and I don't give a **** who phoenix kills or what she does, not somehow they got it out for me.

come at me in my face, mini-vamp nix.

[Prudence]

[Backdated June 5th]

Has attempted to attacked one of mine.

Can you please come back to me about this matter and any information you might be able to glean from your childe about her attempt to wound one of my family and why, she can't manage to keep her hands to herself.

Resprisal is under way. One for one.
It will only escalate if your childe doesn't keep her hands and her powers to herself.

Regards,
Pi dArtois

So I email her back, and was really nice about it, all things considered. Asked who she attacked, when she attacked and how. I like to know **** before I go running around trying to play "mommy." I guess Pi must.do that with her mini-vamps. But then I tell her to go talk to CC, cause she is a grown *** woman and I think shes older than me. She says they'll talk, then boom. CC is dead. Some ******* talk!

Then Pi posts CC busted into her home, and I'm like that's bs. girl can't even bust into my ****, let alone Pi's place with all them crazy portals and ****, but what do I expect? Pi considers pacification an attack and makes me hire a telepath to find **** out cause she is a lying ****.

[Prudence]

Yeaaaah, everyone can **** right off.

I'm so pissed off that I want to slam my fist in to Mordie's face. I knew it and I asked him about it and he flat out lied to me. Me. He gets mad at me shooting him, but he goes around lying to me? Me! I'm supposed to be his friend, his best friend but he lies to me. I don't even care what's going on, so long as people tell me the truth! Especially when we're supposed to be friends and family!

Glitterbomb was right. She knew what was going on. Well, they can just leave me and glitterbomb alone. I was so mad that when I heard about the cage match I went and I lost! I ******* lost because I couldn't focus on anything other than wanting to punch Mordie in his ******* face! I wanted to fight that other guy because it'd almost be like punching Mordie in the face since he is a guy. Every is a cool person I guess, but I just wasn't feeling it because I want to kick the guy in his head and then smash his brains in the curb.

Then to top off all the lying ********, I realized something about Mordie. That he's like my dad! I see him like my dad, which is crazy because he's not my dad at all! My dad is alive and pounds nails in the ground for a tent at the carnival every year. But when I saw him naked, gross by the way, because he had shifted out of his eagle form [[which was bad ***, even if I am pissed off at him]], it would be like me seeing my dad naked. total ******* barf fest!

and don't even get me started on these feeling things and Mordie being right on that. Just because he is right sometimes, doesn't mean he's not a dick for lying to me! I don't lie to him, so why he had to lie to me I don't get it at all! Did I tell you lately that almost all the men in Harper Rock ******* suck?

[Prudence]

People are crazy. Dressing up like men or women to shoot or stab people. What the **** ever happened to letting the person know you got beef with them to their face? Don't much like that sneaky ****, but some people just can't live with the consequences of their choices I guess.

anyways, I can't seem to do anything right with CC. That girl needs a goddamn smack to her head a few times. In don't know what bug crawled up her ***, but I know whats going on and shes pushing my limits. Shes not talking to anyone, just talking at them. People are ******* with my Nova. Those people best back off her, or something bad is going to happen. My grand mini-vamp is a nice girl. But I'm kinda confused, cause Mordie likes Nova, but he wants to be her sire? that's weird! Why doesn't he just be her boyfriend or whatever and let me worry about my glitter ones? I appreciate it and all, but I'm starting to feel like everyone thinks I'm am incompetent sire or some ****! It's frustrating as ****!

I cursed Cliff tonight. I dont know why people keep pushing at me after I give them a fair warning. He is lucky I didn't find him, because he knows what would happen!

I miss Annie. Sometimes I think shes the only one that ever understood me.

[Prudence]

I still can't summon Annie over to me. I don't know what the **** she's doing, but it better be something bad *** and she better tell me about it! Even though I'm mad at her. She's the only one I trust to tell anything to. Well, I mean trust telling my feelings to. She doesn't care about them because she's a ghostie, but she won't blab about it either.

Anyways, so I'm in this group called Daughters of Destiny and I kinda like it. A lot. DD is in there, CC, if she ever gets off her *** and participates, Every, Aura, some others I don't really know and SuperAz. SuperAz used to be a guy, but now she's not. It's crazy, cause I think I would be pissed if I came back to life as a dude. But SuperAz really embraced their fate, I guess ya call it and is a really cool chick. She makes me feel things. Like calm and nice. And she makes me smile sometimes. It's weird and painful sometimes, but I know she is trying to be nice and helpful.

It's a weird change, anyways. Just so they don't paint my nails, force hugs on me and make us song campfire songs, it's cool all around.

Speaking of feelings, and I'm probably gonna have to tear this page out, just so no one reads it and makes a big deal about it, Cliff wants to get bound. He's wanted to, for like ever. I keep pushing it off. Not cause I don't love him, or want to be married to him, cause we are married even if we aren't bound, but because I feel like if we get bound, it'll be the death of us. Ok, maybe that's extreme and I sound like I'm fifteen, but we'ce been doing our own thing for like ever. He won't even join DoD to just support me. I worked hard with the other women there to make something cool. Even Mordie knows more about DoD then he does. Like that I'm the Crone. And if we get bound, I hear we can't fight anymore, not even for fun and that's like the only thing we do.

I dont know the last time I kissed my husband, or even slept in the same bed. We haven't even gone on a date in over a year. I know I'm a tough chick and that gets his rocks off, but I'm still a chick. And it's not all his fault either, but where is my friend?

[Prudence]

I'm back in the raid after spending half the night or so recharging. I feel focused again.
I'm not going to let them get the best of me. I will make it to the fourth floor.
I will kill everything in there on my way up.

School starts up in about three weeks. I noticed that when I popped out of the fade and looked at my cell.
This summer's gone by quick and a lot is the same, even if a few things have changed. After evaluating some things I believe this is how it will always be. The best it'll ever be and the worst. I'm not sure what that means, but I dont spend a lot of time thinking about those things. There are more important things to think of and prepare for.

I'm trying to understand why SuperAz is being so nice to me. It's probably because we "work" together. That makes the most sense. No one wants to work in an uncomfortable atmosphere. Being nice just makes things run nicer. Smoother. That, or she is just a plain nice person, which could be it. I guess she has a ghostie, but I dont think I've ever seen it. Not that I know whose ghost is who anyways.

Got to get back to killing things and working on using a blade better. I'm trying to be just as good with a blade as I am with a gun. This raid is giving me the perfect practice time.

[Prudence]

I don't know who I want to shoot more. CC, or Cliff.
Shooting both of them would be pointless though. Nothings going to ******* change and it's counterproductive.

Good for you that you're up in your mini-vamps ****. I'm not jealous, so don't know why you're shoving it in my face in front of everyone to see.

And that CC, spouting off some ******** too. Both of them can keep it. Keep all that **** for the birds. I don't have time for any of that.

Jerk.

[Prudence]

Bath and Body works is stupid! Who puts that many smells in one ******* place?
You can't even small all the scents by themselves because they're practically humping the other and invading the other smells.
Reminds me why I hate the ******* mall. Crappy sales floor set ups and people in the way when I just want to get in and get out.

[Prudence]

I seriously don't even understand my husband most nights. Maybe I'm too practical and logical for my own good. Maybe I should change my major to psychology because some ****, I dont get and I'm trying really ******* hard to analyze it.

Along with some other **** CC said to me last night. She's crazy, I tell ya. That girl has a lot of wild notions in her head. Another reason I should take some psych classes. All these people in my life confuse the **** outta me.