*Isabella Drake sat at her desk, she opened the lid to her laptop and inserted pink earbuds and began playing a CD she had made for her. It was full of modern music of heartache and melancholy. With a click of a icon the CD began to play. She opened her document program and titled it. Journal for a new era. Isabella began typing as she listened to her new CD. The first song was Slow me down by Emmy Rossum *
2 February 2013
As with the normal journal, I can not promise to write in you daily. Time really has so little meaning to me. Over 150,000 nights have come and gone and to be honest I can not remember many of them. My life has been a blur of day, night and darkness. Why do we strive and fight for immortality when we do little with our forever?
Happiness is beyond my grasp. Love? The word brings tears to my eyes. I am married to a man that looks for fault in everything I do or say. He would rather choose the world of someone who is misleading him; for what goal I do not understand. There has never been another that has consumed me the way Jacob does. He is in my thoughts and dreams, when I wake each day I pray this has been a nightmare but no. He is still not at my side.
In my time, a wife was expected to be strong, unyielding and steadfast. That is all I know how to be. I send him trinkets that I know he cares nothing for. He has not responded to any of it. Still I do not cry in public. My eyes, I am sure display my heartache but in my position how can I allow myself to crumble? Is that what he is waiting for? I am close to melting in a pool of my own sorrow. He said forever, he said we would face everything together forever.
I will be the dutiful wife and wait for him. I will honour him, be strong and ever vigilant. I am the Lady Isabella Olivia Regan-Drake and I am the first in my line.
Journal for a new era
-
Isabella Drake
- Registered User
- Posts: 187
- Joined: 23 Mar 2011, 17:02
- CrowNet Handle: Pale Dragon
Journal for a new era
~Isabella Drake~
-
Isabella Drake
- Registered User
- Posts: 187
- Joined: 23 Mar 2011, 17:02
- CrowNet Handle: Pale Dragon
Re: Journal for a new era
13 February 2013
I think my first Childe of this new era was right. I am not so much an Isabella any longer. I let her die over the past almost 2 years. I will adopt the name Izzy it seems more modern and less formal. I like Livi and miss hearing it, but that is reserved for only one man.
Athan and Aly are set to wed the weekend of my first anniversary. I will not tell them how much that weekend will pain me but I will smile and attend the festivities none the less. I will go, without my husband whom has denied our union. He said to me that I broke our vows. I do remember my oath my love and I did not break this.
The night we wed on the Third night in March last year, my words to you are as true now as they were then.
'I promise to love and honour you. I promise to respect you and never doubt your love. You will be the only I find comfort with carnally. I will obey your desires as to me, are my King. I will forsake you for none. This is my oath and vow now and always.'
You my love, you broke your vows and pledges. Do you not think that your words were burned into my heart? Now your words just burn.
'I promise to love and cherish you. It won't be easy,there will be times that we'll not get along...there will be challenges for us...but I promise you this, that my hand will always reach for yours...that my heart will always be in your hands...that my body and soul will always be yours to tend and that I will always tend yours...I do not want to make a promise to you that I can't keep or won't be able to...so I'll not promise you milk and honey...but my Love always I am yours...from this moment forth and...not even death could part me from you...'
*She began to sob at the screen as she recanted his words in her mind. She whispered to herself* “Your hand does not reach for mine now, when it needs you so much. I know you love me, I do not doubt this, it is hard and we are at odds. I did not think it would be this hard.... I did not think it would be this hard.”
*She returned to typing as she wiped her eyes.* No my love, I have not looked for any to wipe my eyes for me. I am standing on my own, I just wish you could see that. For my Anniversary gift to you, even if you never see it, I need to seek Malachai and bring business to him.
I grow tired and I do not want to write any longer.
Izzy Regan-Drake
I think my first Childe of this new era was right. I am not so much an Isabella any longer. I let her die over the past almost 2 years. I will adopt the name Izzy it seems more modern and less formal. I like Livi and miss hearing it, but that is reserved for only one man.
Athan and Aly are set to wed the weekend of my first anniversary. I will not tell them how much that weekend will pain me but I will smile and attend the festivities none the less. I will go, without my husband whom has denied our union. He said to me that I broke our vows. I do remember my oath my love and I did not break this.
The night we wed on the Third night in March last year, my words to you are as true now as they were then.
'I promise to love and honour you. I promise to respect you and never doubt your love. You will be the only I find comfort with carnally. I will obey your desires as to me, are my King. I will forsake you for none. This is my oath and vow now and always.'
You my love, you broke your vows and pledges. Do you not think that your words were burned into my heart? Now your words just burn.
'I promise to love and cherish you. It won't be easy,there will be times that we'll not get along...there will be challenges for us...but I promise you this, that my hand will always reach for yours...that my heart will always be in your hands...that my body and soul will always be yours to tend and that I will always tend yours...I do not want to make a promise to you that I can't keep or won't be able to...so I'll not promise you milk and honey...but my Love always I am yours...from this moment forth and...not even death could part me from you...'
*She began to sob at the screen as she recanted his words in her mind. She whispered to herself* “Your hand does not reach for mine now, when it needs you so much. I know you love me, I do not doubt this, it is hard and we are at odds. I did not think it would be this hard.... I did not think it would be this hard.”
*She returned to typing as she wiped her eyes.* No my love, I have not looked for any to wipe my eyes for me. I am standing on my own, I just wish you could see that. For my Anniversary gift to you, even if you never see it, I need to seek Malachai and bring business to him.
I grow tired and I do not want to write any longer.
Izzy Regan-Drake
~Isabella Drake~