--Life's a Circus PRT 2.---

[Prudence]

I forgot how fun it could be to be around someone who wasn't always raging at people, or doing the overly, possessive thing. It's ******* amazing and refreshing.

I really, really like Nathaniel. I even gave him a key to my flat and he uses it too. Not too much, not too little. I mean, I do really like him, but I'm still feeling him out. He's perfect. Where was Mordie hiding him at all this time?!

I even softened up my look a little, just for him. Skirts arent all that bad or hindering when yer trying to kill stuff.

Well, I'm going to tuck ya away and curl up next to the gorgeous, hunk of man meat next to me.

[Prudence]

So, I've been spending more and more time with Nathaniel. Now that school is out, it's much easier. I'm thinking about inviting him to stay more than just a few hours, or just barely past dawn. I mean he's much more than just a booty call.

I mean, I don't want him to keep all his things at my place, it's not that serious, but he should definitely be able to keep some clothes at the apartment, some personal things, ya know, the basics. Yup, I'm going to tell him tonight. I mean it's really not that big of a deal. Keeping things at your umm, well, girlfriend's place. I mean, I guess that's what I am now. His girlfriend. I mean no one has actually said those words, but we are dating and stuff, so, yeah.

This is really complicated.

[Prudence]

I guess I'm finally coming around to Levi. He's always at Lori's place, which is fine. I'm sure they're together, though I haven't really asked. They're sleeping together. that much I know for sure because she told me. And I haven't heard too many complaints from her on what a punk he is, so Levi must be doing something right for a change. Go him.

Some big *** fadebeast ripped in to my stomach the other night. I tried to chase after it, but the thing was too ******* fast. I thought about complaining about it to Nathaniel, just so he could have his hands on me again, but I know he would know I could heal that **** up. Totally lame.

I mean, I don't need to have reasons for him to touch me, but I just wanted to spend more time with him. Alone.

I'm going to take him indoor skydiving. It sounds like a lot of fun and I like that he's not afraid to do some adventurous ****. I mean, we can't eat and drink and ya can't talk through movies, so we gotta do other stuff.

Okay, I swear my next entry will not be about him. I sound like a stupid girl with a big fat crush on some guy she knows in high school. But, he's just so awesome. So how can I not talk about him?

[Prudence]

Sooooo, I'm totally busted. Sort of. I mean, this is the first time I actually looked in his journal, but it was just there. And I wasn't going to look in it. I actually closed the drawer and put it back, but as I waited for him to come back, I got bored and suddenly it just opened. And some pages turned and bam!

So soorta busted.

I wonder who has been reading in his journal though...

Anyways, looks like I have to buy him some shirts, but if I don't then he won't know it was me reading his journal. Yeppers. Decided it. Not going to buy him shirts.

[Prudence]

I forgot to tell ya what I did the other day. I finally got rid of everything I couldn't get rid of a couple months ago. Well, almost everything. Cliff isn't around for me to give him the deeds to most the places we owned together, but I'm not going back to any of them. And since he's fucked off, I got Killer and gave him to Rkyer to take care of. I'm pretty sure she can handle it and said she didn't mind.

Anyways, I emptied all the picture frames of us and replaced them with pictures I got from a magazine. It seemed stupid to just leave them all blank, so I just put pictures of things I want to buy one day. Like a motivator or something. And then I sold that binding ring he gave me that I told him not to get for like ever before he got it. I shoulda gave it back to him before he left town, but since it's been months, I figure he's either forgotten about it or doesn't give a crap. If he wants the cash for it if he ever comes back, he knows where to find me.

CC's been giving me stink eyes for a while now. And I give them right back. I'm not sorry I put her in her place. What she did to Levi and to me over whatever stupid jealousy thing wasn't right or cool.

Anyways, I'm going to go finish filling picture frames with ****.

[Prudence]

I'm super wiggin out. However ya spell it. Tonight was all kinds of serious. I want to be honest with Nathaniel, because I really care about him. So he knows I was married before and my birth name. He likes it, but I don't. I wonder how it sounds if he says it. Maybe I would like it then. All I can hear is my mom's voice when I got into trouble doing stupid **** I shouldn't have done and broke things.

And he told me some stuff too. I don't know how I feel about it yet. Like, what if he wants to leave the city? I'd understand, but I wouldn't go. I mean, I love being a vampire and it's easy being one here. I hope he doesn't plan on leaving. That would suck.

[Prudence]

I'm starting to wonder if I did something wrong. Or more like said something wrong. I think it's that. I probably shouldn't have said that. And now I'm being like a stupid girl and having all these self-doubts.

[Prudence]

Nathaniel asked me to summon him which was kinda weird. He never asked me to do that before, but I usually do it anyways. I asked him where and he said where ever I was. So I did and he gave me some stuff. Some jewelry he made. He said he would make better, but he better not because it was the sweetest ******* thing ever and I love everything he made me, so it doesn't need to be better. Right? Right.

Lori was whining about Levi again, but then was all happy a few days later, so **** musta worked itself out. Jesus christ those two are nuts. I should just bind them together and laugh in Levi's pretty boy face. I would too. Just sit and laugh.

Mordie's been-well, who the **** knows where, but I miss the guy. I bet he's in the castle, but them bitches be hiding so good and fighting even better that I haven't been in there in a while. Plus Nathaniel is in the caverns a lot and I kinda wanna stay close to him. All the time. Maybe I should go to the castle. I'm starting to get worried that I think about him too ******* much.

[Prudence]

nathaniel agreed to be all mine this weekend, so I'm taking him to a place I haven't been in years. All mine. And he said it back, not that he needed to. I know he loves me and he knows I love the **** out of him.

Lori is still pretty quiet since Levi came back. I think that means things are good again. I wish CC and I could come to an understanding, but I don't think that will ever happen.

After this weekend, I'm finding Mordie. This hiding ******** ends then.

[Prudence]

Nathaniel and I got married. we went to Georgia and spent a week down there. you're probably thinking...da'fuq, Georgia? Yuh, me too. he wanted to go to vegas, but I was completely against it. that's the thing cliff and I kinda did and I didn't want to do the same thing I already did.

and then we got back and he told me to meet him at the mansion. I came, cause he was acting a little weird. I thought he was hurt or something. I don't know, it was just really fricken strange! so I get there and there's this chick there and I'm like...who the **** is that *****? cause she smiling and is pretty and he's just standing by her. I mean, I didn't think he would do that with someone, but she was pretty. a lot of people are a lot prettier than I am, so I was a little insecure for a second. And he tells me her name is Aeryn and hands me a ring, which I already have a ring from him and she binds us together. like with that ritual thing.

I was completely ******* stunned! I still am! I mean...like...I don't even know what to think! I mean I agreed to be married to him, but I didn't know that was how he meant it. I'm not mad at him. I think it's...amazing he wants to deal with me and my crap for ever, cause that's what we're in for for now, but I'm still stunned.

I mean, how can I be mad at him for wanting to be with me, and finding every fricken ingredient he could in one whole day while it was pouring rain? I just really hope I don't **** this up. he's such a great guy. maybe too good for me.