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Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 16 Dec 2014, 02:35
by Keara Aithne
10th December 2014
Adorable the puppies are. Strange it is for new life so to see. Witnessed I have the raising of foul. Long ago. But that quite different is. Strange also the timing is. Lost Enver has his mother but life forward does progress. Her life to that of a tiny creature I do not perhaps mean to compare. Though comparing it seems I am. All that mean I do is that the cycle preserved is. Balance in the world there is. Know I do that we unnatural beings are. Of nature. But outside of it. The cycle still important is. Balance important is.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 27 Dec 2014, 01:54
by Keara Aithne
12th December 2014
Think I do that he me away from him does mean to push. understand I do that grieving he is but that not acceptable is. Know I do not for why we over Peter must argue. Tells me he does that I out son so may not treat. Nonsense that is. Peter, Peter is. Special he is. Ours. Not just mine. Of me. But of us also. Allowed I am for my family so to embrace nothing wrong in that there is. Ruffle his hair too I do. Suspect I do that likes it he does not but playful the gesture is. Means it does though perhaps something different to My Enver. Touch him thusly I do not. No other do I as My Enver treat. That quite wrong would be. Unthinkable that is. See that he should.
Funeral tomorrow is. Nervous I am. When to Italy I did go, my life, my form, different was. Emotions then felt I did that possess now I do not. Calm myself I must for with My Love to be. Though so calm I likely shall not be. Together we are but still, upset with me he does remain. Hope I do that shifted his mood has before this night over is.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 27 Dec 2014, 03:41
by Keara Aithne
13th December 2014
The flight today is and Enver’s mood improved has not. Matters not. Upon my strengths I shall draw for at his side to stay. Do this I can. For him. Survived I have much; the desecration of my form even. This simple should be. Not so simple perhaps as hope I do though. Warned I was that camera’s there shall be. Photographers. Reporters. Like this I do not. Wish I do not for seen so to be. But knew I did that avoid his life forever we could not. Brave in this I must also be. For him. Disappoint him in this I cannot. Will not. Needs me he does.
~#~
More difficult that was than hoped I had. Too many people. Too many lights. Knew I did that this his life was. Knew it and yet, different it is for to experience. Wonder I do how he this way for so long did live. Difficult it is for so observed to be. Like that I do not. The observer I am. Not the observed. Wrong way round it was. Quite wrong. Tried he did for me comfortable to keep. Know this I do. Upset with me he may be, but loves me still he does. Loves me always. Just as I him always shall love. Do love.
~#~
The funeral tasteful was. That word much was used. Sure I am not if agree in this I do. Much ceremony there was. Much talk. Liked I did not for others behind me to have. That me nervous did make. But had to be at his side I did. Allow me he would not for in the back to sit. Though been more comfortable there I would have. Allowed that is not. Protocol allows it not. Family up front must sit. Makes sense that does. Did. Argue that I could not. Argue with him today I would not. Even if no sense it did make.
Family. Write such things I know I should not. Like her do. Related they are. But strange it was for with Every to be. Realised I did not that she there would be. Though expected it I should have. There something between them is. Know I do not what. Understand it I do not. Know I do that in this age things different are, but in my time acceptable it was for a cousin to wed. Perhaps that their issue is. Feelings for one another have they do. Hope this to be true I do not, but this thought from my mind I cannot erase.
~#~
Hope I do that his heart soon mended shall be. Remember her always he shall. With him she shall always be. Forgotten never. So long as he her can remember. This his comfort now must be. Breaks it does my heart for him so to see. For his heart to know. Pains me that does. Greatly.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 27 Dec 2014, 03:42
by Keara Aithne
14th December 2014
New it is not for to say that Peter our son is. Agreed that was long ago. When first sired him we did. Argued over him too then we did. That night, and many nights thereafter. Decided we did for him to share. For him both to claim. Therein the fight with River born too was. Knows Enver this. Think I do that wishes he does for more time alone to have. For to grieve. But knows he does not for how he this should achieve. So Peter using this way he is. Hope I do perhaps that this the truth of it is. Jealous of our son he need not be. More time give him I shall.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 27 Dec 2014, 03:42
by Keara Aithne
15th December 2014
Tired I am for over our son to argue. For around our son to argue. Sure I am that believes Peter must that ours a turbulent marriage is. That love one another we do not. Breaks my heart does, for this to think. For this to believe. Love them both I do. Differently of course. One as a son. One as my soulmate. For My Enver that to me is. His pain these days feel I do. Like I do not for such things from him to feel. But feel them I must. Know him I must. His I am. From now unto forever. No other under moon or sun My Enver could replace. Swear that I do upon all that holy is. He my everything is. Without him another moment in this world I could not, would not, stay. Says he does that I boundaries must maintain. Boundaries have I do. Know this I do. Says he does that this an elder thing is, but know I do not what this means. Distrustful of elders I know him to be but believe I cannot that he no trust in me does have. Says he does that I double standards also have. If that true is, know it I cannot. For then seen I would have that I wrong am, and believe that I do not. Peter but our son is. Dearer to me than that he is not. Write again I shall not until this matter resolved is. In its entirety. Argue night and day we do not. But argue still we do. Forgiven soon I must hope to be. Then this behind us we shall place. Until then, pray for strength I shall. Pray I shall too for balance. Balance between us restored must be.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 27 Dec 2014, 03:42
by Keara Aithne
18th December 2014
Write again now I may. Forgiven me he has. At last. Honestly. Truthfully. Behind us now this all is. Know I do not what his mood did lift. Perhaps time. Perhaps grieved enough he has for me back into his heart to allow. Perhaps he here my thoughts did read. Or to my words finally listened he did. Matters not. All that matters is that I My Enver back do have. Missed him I have. Even if together we always have been. The same it is not when things right between us are not. For so close and so far apart to be. Like that feeling I do not. Glad I am that settled this all has been.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 17 Jan 2015, 02:27
by Keara Aithne
20th December 2014
Expected I did not for things so soon to normal to return. Speaking Enver is of us home staying. For a few nights. Do that we can. Shall. There nothing is that think of I can, that I for him would not do.
Puppies growing are. Personalities starting to see we are. Sweet to mischievous they range. Some more after their father, than their mother do take. Agreed upon names as yet we have not. Though discussed it much we have. Wanted I did for them after the movie Serenity to name; Mal, Wash, Jayne, Simon, Shepherd, Kaylee, Zoe, Inara, River. Nine names have we there for to choose from. Of course River acceptable is not. Name our puppies after his sire we shall not. Thinking also I was for them after my own family to name. My mortal line. Three females and two males we have. Two sister and a brother I had. If I the names of my parents do add. Perfect the symmetry is. Then have we would; Tremaine, Weylin, Aphria, Evelina and Rowena. Thought we did also the tiny creatures after character from The Matrix films to name: Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, Switch, Kali, Persephone, Zee. Or the series Game of thrones, perhaps : Ned, Robb, Bran, Rickon, Jon, Catelyn, Sanza, Arya, Daenerys. There were more. Record them all I should not. Many names discussed we have so that they all from one film or show could come. In the end, chose we did for the females from Serenity to name and the males from my family. Though one female a male name shall have. Have we do Tremaine and Weylin for our males, and Shepherd, Zoe and Kaylee for our females. Like all their names I do. Puppies difficult to name are. Chosen carefully names must be. Looked at each puppy must be also, as all names each puppy does not suit. But now each tiny creature a name has. Collars and tags tomorrow for them I shall buy. Of course new ones needed shall be soon, as continue to grow they shall. Chipped now also they can be. Andrew this for us should do. Crash the information wrong could get, and then our puppies lost to us could be. Like that I would not.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 17 Jan 2015, 02:54
by Keara Aithne
22nd December 2014
Enver more than his normal self is. Quite playful of late been he has. Say I would that it due to Christmas is, but like me, celebrates this holiday as such he does not. Of course gifts give we do. That the custom seems to be and rude I do not wish to appear by such things not to observe. But the holiday itself nothing to us does mean. Of course celebrate winter solstice I do, but that a private tradition is. Required I am not for my practices with my family to share. Take this time I do for thanks to Nox to give for what passed has to Helios to look for the future. It his time now is.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 17 Jan 2015, 03:18
by Keara Aithne
23rd December 2014
Jersey me a necklace today for Christmas did give. Very sweet of her that was. It a cross over a butterfly is, but the style appropriate is for what wear I do. Think I do that I a necklace for her did buy. Remember right now I cannot. Wrapped the gift is already. Jewellery it most definitely was. I think. So many gifts this year I did not buy. Bought I did only for those that regularly I see. But personalised the gifts are. Last year I duplicate gifts too many did give but that impersonal is. Liked I did for something nice for those that love I do for to buy.
Re: The Musings of Keara Aithne
Posted: 17 Jan 2015, 03:23
by Keara Aithne
24th December 2014
Alex me mistletoe this year did give. Said she did for the item to hang where kissed I wished to be. That quite unnecessary is. Enver the only one is that kiss me may and kiss me wherever wishes to he also may. No need have I for his lips to guide. They their own path do know. Complain about that I never shall, for untruths I cannot tell. Perhaps I the gift to another should give? Someone who the gift better appreciate might? Allowed perhaps that is not though, for a gift to another to give. Ask Enver this I shall. Wish to be rude I do not.