HOLY STRAWBERRIES BATMAN! WE'RE IN A JAM! (CHAPTER 7)

[Omar]

Omar looked from Frick to Frack and still wondered what the hell was wrong with him. By rights, he should be out the door and halfway across town by now.. But he felt oddly compelled to hang out, drink.. Ask about this key.. What was the big deal about this key anyway? So they found a key in a warehouse .. laying on an ‘X’, did they really think this was some lost treasure key? X never marks the stop… except in movies. So why were they so hot for this key?

Listening as Frick spoke from the other room, Omar was skeptical.. But curious. Once Frick came back, he took the drink from Frick and sipped it, as Frick winked at him, and made the Jack Sparrow comment. “Uh.. Thank you..” his reply was hesitant and awkward, “He is not my style… however. I am more of a ..” He paused as he tried to think of a movie character that more closely resembled his personality. “Rhett Butler type. A profiteer, yes.. But I also know when the odds are against me.” He sipped the tequila again. “This is very good..” He was a connoisseur of Tequila. He appreciated a good one. He might have to stay for another.

Omar waved his free hand, and changed the subject from him, back to the key. “You keep mentioning this key.. What is the big deal about a key? And if you think it will get you into the old mansion north of the city; I have news for you.. You do not need a key to get in there. I have been inside. It was looted a long time ago. If there is anything of value left there.. I would be stunned.”

[Sage]

“I see a fire in those dark eyes of yours, Sir.”

Sage could see the connection. Not just the one forming between Salvador and the jelly bandit’s eyecandy of the moment. The whole Rhett Butler and Snookie link. It was enough that he glanced from their visitor and to Sal who was pretty much sizing him up to play Pirates. So perhaps Sage would have fun watching. Then again he always did. But there was a rumored treasure of sorts and just what that was, or if it truly still existed, was not something he was entirely sure about. But he believed the key held some value. He had been offered obscene amounts of money to hand it back over. That said it was worth more than the soil it had been hidden in for safe keeping.

Stepping over to the kitchen sink had him in full view of the two chatting it up in the living room. The water went on and his hands dropped under the stream of water. Several palms full had his face and chest rinsed leaving the small watered down green drops dotting the surface beneath him. Figuring the whole attempt to wash up would have been better off in the shower down the hall only came after the fact. So there he stood finishing what he started as if only Salvador was witness to the casual no shame rinsing off and toweling away whatever had been left behind.

The stained dishtowel returned back to the living room over his shoulder. A relaxed stride had his long legs and rolled down to nearly there Hostess Boxers finding a seat on the sofa that had seen far better nights. He took up issue with the curious deliveryman’s confirmation that the in house Tequila was no ordinary shelf liquor.

“Sit down. You have the better part of the bottle left to finish.” He winked then nodded to Sal to seat his fine *** back where it could routinely be found on any given day during the Price is Right and Joker’s Wild. “I have heard several in the club talking about it.” He glanced from Snookie to Sal. “Gigi, Mistress Shots, said her flavor of the month was running with a couple of out of towners that came in for some **** going down in the building next to that mansion he just mentioned. Heavy hitters is what she called them. It goes deep, lots of bad asses calling it theirs. I bet you anything Cowboy Daddy is riding the crazy train all the way down to the bottom.” Sage gave no fucks that he was barely covered sitting in front of a semi-stranger. Snookie was getting a display that proved he could be one of the amigos if he played his cards right. Sage’s hand slipped under the severely stretched logo printed material and gave a few audible scratches to his avocado crusted sack. “You look like a guy who can handle himself, Snookie.” His hand surfaced and he checked out the results left behind on his fingernails. “Sal here is a beast when he is in a mood. I say we band together and make some magic happen.”

[Salvador (DELETED 8639)]

"Could be riding something else." Salvador muttered at the mention of 'Cowboy daddy'. But alas, it was just not meant to be, so all Sal could do was ogle Jack Sparrow a.k.a. Snookie, instead. "Sir Lollipop!" Salvador said, remembering the name of the eye candy for Mistress shots. "That was his name. His hair had every ******* color of the rainbow-or Lollipop going in it." He nodded, because it was true. Sal couldn't do anything but stare at it every single time the guy walked by for a drink, or the crowd moved just so, allowing the Latino male to get a glimpse of it.

"Yeah, but remember what they said was all the way at the bottom?" He asked Sage, turning the television off now and giving the two of them his undivided attention now that Wheel of Fortune was done with. "Rumor has it since it's not far from the caves with the gems in it, that there are more of those bad boys, only bigger because it goes down nice and deep. Never mind that he claimed there was some sort of bones in there either. Dinosaur bones. think he said a slew of Majungatholus died around that area. Whatever the **** those are." Sal shrugged his shoulders at the offer Sage made, then smirked at the idea of making some magic happen. "I'm always good for a threesome." Sal stood up then, and moved to the bedroom where he would need to get some pants on since he was sporting a button down shirt and boxers only. If they were going some place, he needed to get half way decent looking.

Once in his room, Sal grabbed a pair of jeans and slipped them on, then changed his shirt to a darker button down. "I'm always up for a good boning. Count me in." He said just loud enough to let everyone knew that if they planned on going-so was he.

[Omar]

Omar sipped his tequila, his eyes going between Frick and Frack. Snookie. Gigi. Mistress Shots. Cowboy Daddy. Sir Lollipop. Who were these guys? Did they not know any sanely named people?! He was about to ask about the names, when Frack said ‘make some magic’ and Frick said he was always up for a good boning as he headed toward .. a bedroom?

“Whoa gentlemen.” He swallowed the rest of the tequila in one big gulp. “First, allow me to enlighten you.. My name is Omar. It is a fine and well respected name from the old world. A snookie.. I am not. Second, I do not engage in male on male boning.” He gestured, “It may not be what you want to hear.. But it is the case, nonetheless. Third, dinosaur bones? This key has something to do with Dinosaur bones?”

Dinosaur bones could be quite lucrative. Especially if they could liberate it from the ground by themselves. Much of the wilderness was Tribal land, which would make it hard to say they dig it up themselves. But they could get around that. If they could recover the bones, take them and store them elsewhere, he could forge a will, which would state he had inherited them. Depending on the type of dinosaur, it could be worth several thousand.. or several hundred thousand. That was worth hanging about and trying to get the full story.

Omar gave Frack a sideways look. “Fourth.. Why were you green?” He rubbed his brow. “No.” He held up a hand and shook his head. “I do not want to know. I do not know why I even asked. That is not a picture I want in my minds’ eye.“ He took a deep cleansing breath. He now looked at Frack pointedly, focusing on his face.. And nothing else, since Frack was mostly nude and scratching his balls. “Would you be so kind as to explain in.. normal..” He held up a finger.. “No. Let me rephrase. Explain in simpler.. Terms. So that I might understand what the hell the two of you are talking about?”

Even as he waited for an answer, he held the now empty tequila glass to the mostly naked Frack. “And I will take another.”

[Sage]

B O N E C O L L E C T O R

Sage slid forward and chuckled as his body rose to his full height. Omar just wasn't feeling the Snookie vibe yet. It was only a matter of time. Salvador set his mind to something he generally won out. Omar was a work already in progress. Sal would work him really good in his own way. As for Sage, he was grabbing what he had on earlier and pulling it on without leaving his living room. The closet by the door was the best walk in and changing room a busy man like the club owner ever had. Living the last decade in homeless shelters gave him a sense of appreciation for the smallest things. Which was good given that the space barely had enough space for him to step into and turn around. Like Clark Kent he stepped out of the dark space and was dressed for business and a little more. The holster sliding over his shoulders kept his weapons in place and soon concealed beneath a jacket that had all the inner pockets needed to carry whatever else would be needed.

“You can relax. Salvador is one of a kind and a love bug. If you ain’t got interest or time for that there is plenty more out there that does. His heart won’t be broken.” Sage’s eyes landed on the guy when Sal called out from the bedroom. “Feel free to one hand that bottle and make it disappear. You may very well need it.” The sounds of ammo being expertly loaded likely changed the image Sage had been putting out there. Which was typical of the allurist that could be a chameleon of sorts in his own way. “Green is good. Detox for the body. Exfoliating.” His eyes lifted from the gun in his hand that sank into the leather clinging to his side. “Not everything has to be looking and smelling like the walking dead.” A smirk spread slowly across his lips. “Even if it is.”

The jacket settled over Sage’s shoulders and one hand dug inside the jacket pocket quickly reappearing with a half eaten lime. The expired citrus was banked with little effort across the room and into the wastebasket that was towering over full capacity with pizza boxes, fast food wrappers and months old gossip magazines. No doubt The Sun would covering all the details of where they are heading. Salvador would likely send them tips on the way.

“Tell Salvador I went for the car. Will meet you guys downstairs at the drive up.” With that Sage was out the door and heading down the numerous flights of stairs.

[Salvador (DELETED 8639)]

This guy, who he had labeled 'Snookie,' was named Omar and pretty...well, as most people would probably say, 'conservative.' No hanky panky, no funny business. He was clear and cut dry and wanted them to know it. Was Sal heartbroken? Nah. Love was love, was love, and even if Omar didn't want to love either of them in any respect, there was someone out there that he would one day 'love' in whatever way that was. And Sal and Sage always had the other-they were the other's constant and not much could get between them. Really, they were down for just about anything; even shared a good find from time to time. There was always some form of a party going on with the two of them, which only made their life fun. Made their life the way they liked it.

Once his task of getting dressed was complete, Sal knelt down under his bed and pulled out a small gun case that held his gifted .44. He loaded it, closed the case and then stuffed it behind his back, under his shirt coat. Sage might think he was some bad *** at fighting, but it really depended on the target and the one that was trying to kill him. Sal preferred to try other tactics...like run away, not that Snookie needed to know that. They needed all the muscle they could get and he looked like he had his fair share of some. And then.

By the time he was out of the room, Salvador noticed 'Snookie', or rather, Omar, sitting all by his lonesome self. He glanced around to see where his partner in crime went off to, and then looked at Omar. "Take it to go." He said, nodding to the bottle. Illegal? Yep. Did he or Sage care? Nope. Besides, Omar would be in the backseat, so it was all good in Salvador's mind. From the back of a chair near the door, Salvador slipped on his thin coat and headed out of the apartment. "Come on!" He urged Omar, knowing Sage was somewhere ahead of them, ready to roll.

HEAVY HITTER

[Omar]

The fact that Frack said Frick wouldn't be hurt since Omar turned down his ‘overture’ made him relax. He accepted the tequila bottle and though he didn’t normally drink for the bottle, as it was considered rude and uncouth, he too felt he might need more than he could pour. But why? His questions about the dinosaur bones had not been answered, and when Frack pulled a gun Omar’s relaxation, when right out the door.

What the hell would they need guns for? Unless… someone had already dug up the bones and they were going to steal them? Yes. That would make sense. He frowned because he had only come armed with a .32. It was hardy the sort of handgun to strike fear into anyone. And to make matters worse his gun was not loaded with hollow points. Drug deliveries of this nature, a small .32 was fine. However, had he known they would be doing some breaking and entering, he would have been better armed and better dressed. For one he would be in all black. Not jeans. But at least he had his vest on. Some tweekers could get gun happy, and let off a few rounds, so he never went anywhere without his kevlar anymore.

By the time, Frack had slammed out the door, Omar had turned up the bottle and chugged half of what was was left of the tequila. It was a damn shame too. A nice tequila like that should never be chugged. It should be savored and enjoyed. But for some reason Omar had resigned himself to going with Frick and Frack to steal some dinosaur bones. Based on the decor of the room, being decorated in “Early Salvation Army”, they needed a payday, just as badly as he did. He was delivering his own **** after all.

Omar stood up as Frick, no.. his name was Salvador.. That was what Frack called him... came back in the room, fully dressed, shrugging on a coat. Looking at the bottle, still a third left. Yes. He would take it with him. His hand closed tight about the neck of the bottle as he followed Salvador out of the apartment. He didn’t mind bringing up the rear. At least that way he wasn’t going to be shot in the back.

It was only as He and Salvator were getting into the car, Sal inthe front, and he in the back, did the comment Frack made just before he left tickled his memory. ‘Not everything had to smell like the undead…’ ****. How had he missed that? Once hunkered down in the back seat, he tipped up the tequila bottle and drained it.

[Sage]

M O R P H E U S

The massive door opened to the boattail Buick and closed once Sal and ‘Snookieisnotmyname’ Omar climbed inside. The quick glance over the bucket seat then behind him made it easy enough to locate the guy who left a cloud of recently consumed fumes in his wake. Sage turned back around and passed the hand rolled herbal supplement over to Sal. Moist from his lips but still burning bright he figured it was Spoons turn to give it the attention it deserved. He fired up the engine and strapped himself into his seatbelt. Once he was sure the two passengers did the same he had the beast rolling out of the complimentary curbside parking. With the throaty sounds of an engine that one would expect to expel fire from the pipes and sprout a set of wings at any given moment the Riviera threatened to rise in flight.

“Make sure you keep your door locked and an eye on the back while you are chilling. Especially when we stop for lights. Can’t tell you how many crazy bitches we have had to fight off and pull out of Morpheus." As if it was a ritual with the mention of the vehicle's given name his hand went qucikly to the dash and gave three pats. "Something about it drives them wild. Dudes too. Just is a thing. Will always be a thing. It is like the Batmobile on steroids with a shot of pure love m-a-c-he-e-e-n-e. Or it could just be your *** in it that drives them wild.” A wink was sent Sal’s direction before giving Snookie his own credit where it was due. “Don’t sit too close to the window just in case. It is cold out and they can get pretty rough and bold.” Once Sal was finished making the cherry at the end of the joint nice and red he reached over and gave it some love of his own. “Got any special talents back there, Ome’s?” Sage’s voice had a rather slow suppressed tone to it thanks to his technique for deep inhale and hold. “Besides filling out the *** of your jeans?” He dipped his hand and the weed back behind his shoulder. Anyone who dealt naturally would be expected to sample more than the community open bottle to prove they were cool as the snow currently pressed out under the custom tires. "Got a few tricks you pull out of your pockets if needed. Things can get wild quick. Just need to know if you are down and ready. It isn't the place to be finding out you forgot to pack your magic deck or lucky dice."

The light in the upcoming intersection went against them and Sage complied allowing the vehicle to slow down and finally come to a stop. It was then while the clouds of exhaust and moisture formed around the exterior of the vehicle that a sudden knocking of bare knuckles on the window next to Sal came to their attention. A set of faces were pressing at the window forming fish lips and frosting up the glass.

"See? Told you. Pretty sure she was that one hanging in the bathroom at the club last night waiting for you Sal." Sage shook his head.. "Sal is a ******* rock star, Omies."

[Salvador (DELETED 8639)]

Morpheus was as much Sal's baby, as much as it was Sage's. Even if Sage owned it rightfully. There were feelings that he had for the car. As soon as the Matrix loving Latino saw the bad *** beaut, Sal said it was a Morpheus. Sage seemed to like the name, or at least didn't find it to be ridiculous and so they had a muscle car named Morpheus thanks to Sal's suggestion. Once in, Sal buckled up and enjoyed the ride. He knew he was in good hands and being at rest would let 'Snookie' relax and enjoy the ride too.

The knock on the window of the car caused Sal to jump a little-only because of who he saw. Great. Her. "Aye, that's her alright." Sal said while slinking down in the sink. "We had a...moment in the bathroom once and now-" He rolled his eyes. "Women." He glanced over at Sage a smirk on his lips. There was no jealousy between the two of them in that respect. Sal was free to enjoy his time with who he wanted and the same was offered to Sage. "Now she wants to ride the Morpheus." Sal said with a shrug of his shoulders, clearly talking about a different Morpheus. When the light turned green, he finally made eye contact with the woman and shrugged his shoulders, as if to say...sorry, maybe next time. Hopefully not though.

"think we need to stop somewhere? Pick up some supplies?" He asked Sage, who he trusted his life with on a lot of fronts, before Sal craned his neck over to see if 'Snookie' had any input. Indiana Jones he was not.

[Omar]

Having just drank more than a third of a bottle of tequila in less than twenty minutes, Omar was feeling good. Relaxed, and even a bit jovial. All the trepidation and unease, was fading away. He was in a classic car that he had never had a hope of owning anytime soon. The seats were leather. Not that cheap easily torn leather in cars of today, no this was thick well nourished leather that had made a man feel important as he sat on it.

Salvador earlier, had told him to hunker down, and he did, but mostly because he was trying contemplate how he found himself here. He frowned as he focused on the woman banging on the window. Omar was impressed. They said it would happen, and sure enough.. There she was .. as if she was on the watch for him. Omar laughed. At least to Omar it was laugh, but it really came out as a giggle.

The giggle was short lived at Sal turned and asked what supplies they needed. “Supplies? Well it would help if I knew what the hell we were going to be doing.. I mean.. Dinosaur bones are heavy.. They are typically packing plaster.. **** weighs tons. Do we need a forklift? And if we do.. Then we need a truck for the forklift.” He waved a hand at Sal, before Sal could answer, “Is easy to steal a forklift. You can start them with a pen knife.. It is getting to where we are going that is going to be the issue.. And then getting it off the truck.. Once we got it on..”

Omar nodded. “I may actually know a guy that would fence the bones for us.. But.. mustn’t be hasty. No counting the chickens yet. WE need to see the goods first. Yes.” He paused. “That was good tequila.”