--Life's a Circus PRT 2.---

[Prudence]

So I haven't found **** out about being stolen or kidnapped from this world and put in the shadow realm. I thought maybe someone did some ritual on me or something, but that would be one crazy ritual! Plus, I've got a few tomes and know a couple people who can do magic stuff and they never said they could do anything like that. I've heard of doing stuff to people to make them weaker by ******* with their blood or something, and changing locks or some **** and even finding enemies and **** in the city, but nothing like what happened to me.

So I'm not really sure what happened, but I think it has something to do with CC. I mean, not really. I was talking to her and the world seemed different. Seemed to lack something. Sounds crazy, right? I wouldn't tell her that because we would just argue, but it did happen the night we talked, right after we talked.

Signed up for my classes and decided to stick with forensic science and not do psychology. Maybe I just don't want to know people's deep and dirty ****. Some **** is just too fucked up for me to try and figure out.

[Prudence]

Mordie is so weird!

So I started some **** in Sangue, just cause and it's the most I've seen people talk in there for a while. I said my piece and it's whatever. I just know that all ain't for me. Seems more up Mordie's alley.

Anyways, he's always talking to me about CC or DD. I don't really know either of them real good, so I try to give a logical answer to some illogical ****. And then he gets weird at me! Talking about trusting me and other crazy ****. Dude, I get it. we are tight, but I don't wanna talk about how you are like my dad to me. gross, dude!

so I ran away and killed some ****. Problem solved.

[Prudence]

I don't know what the **** I walked into with DD last night, but it seemed like the right thing to say and do. I mean, I want to help all the mini-vamps out, but I think she'll be pretty disappointed in a weeks time.

I never spent so much time with DD alone. She's really nice [duh], and likes to talk a lot. But not in an annoying mind of way. I wasn't annoyed, but I was a little surprised. I never talk that much about anything, let alone about stuff like that. Must be her Alluristy ways.

Well, I've got to go dig out my slippers and get to training. Mikey said I could use his **** to train, but it's gotta, be early in the night to avoid his shows.

I don't think it's been this hard to find balance in a long time.

[Prudence]

Two in a night, but sometimes that's how it happens. I think I said too much **** last night to DD. I gotta keep my **** together because I know they all look up to me, even if they're mad at me or whatever at me.

That thing happened again, only this time I didn't end up in the fade completely. I sorta went there, but didn't stay there long before I came back here. At least this time people ******* saw it. I'm thinking a ritualilst is behind it because there is something called Banish wraith and supposedly they go to the fade place. I think someone tried to send me there last night, but failed. It's the best guess I've got because no one seems to know, or everyone is ignoring me for whatever ******* reason. I'm not bothered by it, I just wish I had some answers, but it seems no one has any. So, I'll figure it out for myself.

I think I'll start with some logical places. There are some temples in the city, that sounds ritual-ish. I'll check out the Broussards old building too. When this **** sorts started going down was about when I almost killed Emmanie by myself. Maybe they're all pissy the guy is still dead or some ****. not really sure, but seems strange this **** is happening to me now and out of the blue. I've been busy with DoD **** and training, so not sure why it's going on now.

Oh, if I die trying to sort this **** out, don't forget to pick up the book at the college for my Tuesday night math class [yes, I still suck at it and hate it] when I get back. I need to hang out with my sparkly vamps so they don't get all bitchy at each other. If I die, I should stay away from temples. Cause they probably killed me.

[Prudence]

I died and still didn't find that *****, Annie. I swear to god, I should just see if someone could banish her because she's been a ******* pain in my *** for a while now. Let me tell ya about some pains in my asses! This **** with CC, DD and Mordie is driving me up the wall. It's like some crazy romeo and juliet **** and I thank the ******* baby jesus, the crow, or whatever it is that keeps us alive and kicking that I am not an allurist. Man, as much as I love the girls, they have some constant cat fights that make me wanna just shoot myself in the brain, if not them first.

CC killed DD about a week ago, I guess. Yep, I'm pretty pissed. I die and CC's going around killing people. They say it was an accident, but jesus christ. How can ya not see someone's almost dead when you're ******* them up? And for Mordie being all up on my DD's ***, why was he not around watching ****? Why does not one tell me that there is some serious ******* **** going on between everyone? Then they tell me when **** has really hit then fan and I gotta do clean up crew and ****. Welp, I'm cleaning up alright.

And then I wake up to some crazy *** **** where CC dressed me up as a mother ******* doll or something. My tits all over the place, my *** probably hanging out back and she.did.things.to.me. Did.very.bad.things. I can't even ******* talk about it. But now my hair is super short and bouncing all around, with my hair bouncing when I'm killing **** and the zombies just look at me like "look at her with all that hair, bouncing around!" They just stare, not cause I'm scary but because this **** is so ******* bouncy and I don't know how the **** to fix it!

Something else I don't know how to fix. Cliff and Me. I know we said forever, but if the last year and a half or so is what forever means, **** that. I can't go backwards. I'm moving forwards, and gonna keep moving forwards. I like DoD. I like a lot of those women in there. I'm a sire. It's not just him and me anymore. People change, I guess. We both have and I know he has a good heart in there somewhere, but the **** I've seen from him for a long time isn't what I want to be tied to. So, I guess for now, we're kinda on a break and giving each other some space to think some things out.

[Prudence]

Welp, I did it. By myself. One arm short, couple scratches on my arms and a missing eye ball. CC better understand how ******* lucky she is. I hope she gets off her pedestal soon, cause I don't got time for princesses, or the my **** don't stink attitude. She is part of this family. We do not hit or attack family, even if it's really ******* tempting!

So now she's dumb as rocks. Maybe I can try and mold her mind to not be so retarded as she heals up. Wouldn't hurt to try.

Mordie and I got into another fight last night. It's like I'm a whole new person when he starts talking about my sparkly ones. I feel like he's trying to tell me what to do, or encroaching on my things. And I resist the urge to punch him in the head. Or shoot him. I know my sparkly vamps can be a real ******* handful, but theyre my handful. I don't get why talking about them bothers me so much.

[Prudence]

What the **** am I supposed to do with a brain dead vampire? CC is just lying there. I wonder if she feels anything. I'm tempted to punch her to see. I shoulda killed her. At least in the SR she is capable of doing something and not be completely ******* dependent on me. These seems like I have one of those things. They cry and need diapers changed. Those baby things. 

I ******* hate babies. They aren't good for anything.

[Prudence]

I think I got lost. Or still might be lost. I don't know how I'll know which one I am, but I know I'll figure it out some night. Until then, **** everything else.

[Prudence]

I dont want to take care of this thing. I wish CC would wake the **** up. I don't even know why I'm.taking care of her, she did this to herself. I'm not going around attacking people, even if it's really ******* tempting to.


I'm not siring again. **** this.

[Prudence]

Why are you people doing this to me? I don't want to feel anything about anything. I don't like it. But you're all doing these weird things all the ******* time.

First there is Cliff who was hanging all around me and kissing my cheek. ok, so maybe not that bad, but he's trying to make me feel something. I sound like a ***** and maybe I should be nicer cause he's calmed down a lot, but I don't like mind games.

Then there is CC. All, "You suck as a sire. Pick, pick, pick." Why do I have to pick one over the other? They are both Allurists and it's not like I know if one is a better Allurist than the other, and they both have good qualities about them. Making me pick is forcing me to feel like someone is better than the other. I. DON'T. WANT. TO. FEEL. Just be smart and effective, got it?

Then Mordie: All, "I'm going to kill CC!" And he keeps pushing and pushing at me. Again, he wants me to pick. DD or CC.

Zo: She is being a *****. I was asking for help and she basically told me to **** off and suck it up. I don't like looking at CC. She's gonna wake up and say stupid **** to try and push my buttons and I probably will kill her.Not because I feel a ******* thing, but because at this point it might be my civic ******* duty.

Then finally SuperAz: She's nice, but I think she's wrong. Eve is way better. But her being nice and friendly was a trick, sorta. See, if someone is nice to ya, you be nice back. It's like an unwritten rule of thumbs. So I'm being nice and they are being nice and I'm starting to let my guard down. Get sloppy. I'm becoming in-effective. Im getting lost in this strange place.

Leave me alone. I know who I am. My whole life I've been a solo act for a reason. No one to **** you over or make demands. You only have to worry about yourself and if you fall, you have yourself to blame. You didn't train hard enough, push yourself enough. If you succeeded, you are the ******* best and you earned that title yourself.