Welcome to Harper Rock, where dreams come true! [Blog Post]

[Maria]

Welcome to Harper Rock! Where immortality is at your very fingertips, or jugular, depending on the circumstances. Worried about crime? Worry no more! There are soldiers posted nearly every other block, and cops fill in the rest. They definitely will be there to help when your wallet gets stolen walking past the dozen or so casinos spread around the city.

Oh and that lumbering guy with a really big hole through his shoulder who smells like he just came out of the sewer, yeah just ignore him. Well, ignore him as long as he stays a good twelve or so meters from you and doesn't look at you hungrily. On second thought...maybe it's best to just avoid them all together.

Feeling a little woozy today? Can't remember how you got halfway across town? Don't worry about it. These things just happen around here. You'll be fine. Just maybe try and stick to the crowds instead of wandering around the city on your own at night.

Just take a skip south from the Gullsborough transit station and jump into the internet cafe, get yourself a drink, and read every possible entry on how Harper Rock is definitely the perfect tourist location for you, your family, and that guy you met on Thursday who constantly smells like cigarettes!

You definitely won't find actual fully automatic rifles available from sketchy vendors scattered about the city.

Oh but if you did, you surely wouldn't need them in case you ran into some kind of abomination in the forest that looks like it's an amalgamation of several abominations somehow merged together. Yeah, just don't worry about it. That'll definitely not happen.

And it's not like there's places in the city that have been quarantined off just to stop an outbreak of undead people walking and trying to eat you because somehow things that die just can't seem to stay dead in this city.

Oh right I said immortality might be at your fingertips? Well maybe not your fingertips. But someones! Possibly someone standing right next to you! Like the person reading this right over your SHOULDER LOOK!

I'm just kidding. You all know what Harper Rock is and the reputation it has by now. It's the land of vampires and zombies and who knows what else. Maybe I’ll make an actual guide for people so they can have a good idea of what they’re getting into if they decide to come here. Honestly, for your everyday person, I’d say don’t come. But if you really feel adventurous and think you can wrestle a grizzly bear, come on over. I can always use the company of someone who can wrestle a grizzly bear. Just don’t tell anyone I told you to do that. I don’t want to get sued for someone getting eaten, or losing a wallet, or a few fingers.


Or, ya know, arrested. I’m allergic to Iron. (Kidding!)

-Your definitely not sarcastic journalist in Harper Rock.