Tales of a Ballerina

[Karina]

Okay so I'm going to try this again...I used to have a book where I would write my sister after she disappeared from Harper Rock. Mercedes at the time was my rock because she never judged me no matter what happened in the world. She had even forgiven me when I accidentally walked in on her and Malachai, before he left her for Phoenix, when they were trying to get down and dirty and I blinded them both. I should have blinded myself but I was new to that power at the time and couldn't control it very well.

Hell there are a lot of experiences from the past that I could write in here and it would simply fill the book but isn't it the point of a journal or diary to write down current experiences so that one can dwell on them later, not dwell on past experiences so that you could write them down and then continue to dwell on them later. That just seems like a lot of misery. It's good to have occasional experiences if examples are needed but I'm going to attempt to not go backwards. I know for one that Doc would be highly disappointed if I went backwards because what would have been the point of all of those sessions to heal? I want to heal. I want to be better. I'm tired of being jealous all the time and I sure as hell am tired of being alone. There has to be more to this life than to just exist.

Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for Kacee bringing me to this life. She saved me from rotting in despair and depression on a farm. Then Velveteen came along and adopted me, introducing me to a larger option to this life than I had imagined because now I have a family. Many have vanished but at least those weren't the ones that I was super close to but Every...she's still around and I am grateful for her. She has been so helpful with my transition to this new version of the city. It has been a struggle to adjust to but I have to stay on my toes because no way in hell are those fuckers microchiping me, I will die if I have to, to get rid of it and then buy a new home. Lions won't let that happen either.

Oh **** Lions.....that is a-whole-nother can of worms. I mean...I helped him get into Tytonidae, I helped him train, started dating him, married him, he vannished and returned causing my abandonment issues to explode, killed him, divorced him, and then wham-bam thank you Ma'am; he's back in my life again. I came home and there he was, shot up and not because of me. He was on the ******* wanted list because he was greedy and had to go stealing. ******* stealing! He's going to get microchipped and he doesn't even realize it. So I heal him, I get him off the list, and gave him items so that he can sit his *** at the damn crafting table to keep busy. I even bought him a forge to remain busy.

We are spending time together again and honestly...it's like the past of him leaving never happened. Yes, the memories are there and there is still pain to repair but overall...it's like it never happened, like we were never apart. We picked up exactly where we left off. I mean that too. If anyone was to see us on the street, they would never believe that we hadn't been an item. They would believe that we had been married for years and they wouldn't be wrong....we were but out story is a colorful one. If we were human...would be an interesting story to tell the children.

I did a thing though. It was probably too soon but I had one shot at this especially since he soon after admitted to the fact that he was thinking about leaving but was staying because of me. I'm glad that he's staying especially since that thing I did...I proposed. I know it was probably rushing but I feel like this was my last chance to make up for the mistake of walking away. Yes, I was hurt. Yes, my insecurities controlled my actions. Do I regret it? Yes! Do I wish that I can take it all back? Yes! So here I am, trying to right my wrongs. I never should have walked away from him because I love him with every fiber of my being. I never thought there would be anyone that would have replaced, Raphael but here Lions is, turning my world upside-down with a simple wink or smirk. I love him...now and always. I hope to whatever higher power that exists that I don't **** this up. Please don't let me **** this up!

I'm going to go now...I have a dance class to teach and then I need to get more items for him so he keeps his nose out of trouble.

[Karina]

So I have to admit that Lions and I have been testing limits in various ways. We just got a new mattress that was well over due but mainly because I set it on fire on accident, though I will say that it was rather fun before, during, and after. The adventures that we have been taking have been for what some might say "history books" however not for young eyes. I mean it's been fun. However I hit a wall on an elevator ride that left me completely out of sorts and vomiting in my bath tub for the rest of the evening. I was absolutely painful and on top of that....Lions saw me at my weakest moment. Lions was soft, loving, and so very kind. I mean when I say kind and loving...while in my delirium, I imagined what it would have been like if we met before we became vampires and the small versions of us that would be running around now. Granted at the rate that we spend time together...we would have a small army but alas, we are in this time and once out of my delirium, I realized that it was probably better that we didn't have such an army as we would have our hands full. Like really full if they were anything like us. Dear God! I wouldn't want that for the world to have to experience.

I'm feeling much better now though. It was like a one night thing which was all I needed. Don't get me wrong, I would probably make the same mistake again but I have to make sure that I don't have any plans for the rest of the evening. I do have ideas though and I haven't found anything that he has told me 'No' on just yet but I have been doing easy on him. Hmm...maybe there is a new business venture here that could partner with Skewered Moral Compass with but I will have to think on it because if my dance mom's found out about it...they might pull their children from my dance school though I could convert that into a different studio if needed. I don't want to think about that just now. For now, I am gathering more weapons and weapon parts for him to keep him out of trouble because if I have to search down more thief hands...he's getting shot.

[Karina]

So I started a new business a few days. It didn't start out so great but I knew that would be a thing as businesses have to take their time to grow while getting the word out. The ballet studio had been doing so well that I wanted to open up my own store and clothing line for the dancers. After getting the suppliers worked out, it was time to open the doors. I wanted to make it easy for the students to get their costumes for competition and recitals but also give other dancers the opportunity to find clothing specifically for dancing. I didn't tell Lions that I started the new business but I'm sure he wouldn't have minded. I might open a fourth one but I want this one to get on it's feet first before I think about putting that into motion. I still have to give thought on what I want to do anyway.