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Bjørn
Running a hand through his shower-damp hair, Bjørn crossed the short distance to hers, gravel and dried leaves crunching underfoot. Slung over his shoulder was a worn canvas backpack filled with both weapons and traps. He figured he’d bring along some options in the event things spiralled once again. This time, he wouldn’t let things end as they had Thursday night. In fact, he had every intention of starting things differently too. Over the weekend he’d tested out one of the three pills he’d unearthed; another was pocketed in his backpack. Whether or not he’d take it to make a point would depend.
A scurrying fox caught his attention as he walked down the footpath leading towards the main building. Pausing, he dropped to his haunches and reached out an arm. Clicking his tongue, he remained completely still as the four-legged creature approached. For some reason, his human passing privilege extended to all warmbloods. When he heard something down the path, he was still sitting on his heels, the fox’s maw clasped around his hand as his fingers tickled the bright orange fur.
Caligrace
The sound of dried leaves falling to decay beneath a heavy boot signalled his arrival, and she tried to keep her nerves to a minimum as she tossed her pen down. It bounced and rolled off of the table, before landing on the floor - only to disappear beneath the couch. Counting it a loss that was easily replaced, she pushed from her desk and closed her eyes. It had only been a couple of days, and though she was better, the shame still hung heavy in her chest. It caused her to hesitate, body slightly turned to face the door, before she shook her head.
“Get it together,” she muttered under her breath as she straightened her shirt, the green tank fitting tight to her body. She had spent a little more than an hour deciding what to wear - and though the thought of impressing him had filtered into the decision, in the end, it had been what she thought would be most comfortable and practical for whatever he had planned. The shirt covered more of her skin then the sports bra had, only an inch or so of flesh visible between where the hem ended and her faded skinny jeans began. The denim was comfortable - not as comfortable as the leggings had been - but more durable, and she had forgone the sneakers for a pair of black boots, the heel more modest than what she usually wore.
Her face was devoid of make-up, and her hair was hastily twisted into a braid that hung over a shoulder. Sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, she made her way down the path, his hunched form already in sight. “I see you’ve met Fin,” she said by way of greeting as she came to stand behind him, the fox soaking up the attention with a look of pure bliss.
Bjørn
“Fin?” he hummed rhetorically, dragging his thumb under the animal’s jaw as it quipped up at him. Its pelt looked deceivingly soft, the multicoloured hairs thicker and far less yielding than they looked. Bjørn didn’t stop his ministrations or look over to Caligrace, his gaze focused on the creature. Fin stretched over the gravel, its tufted tail gently slapping at his boot. “They won’t get in the way, will they?”
Caligrace
“He’s the more social of the bunch,” she explained, her attention tearing away from creature and man, to search the west side of the land. “The others are out there somewhere. You might hear them rustling around or see a few while they’re playing, but they usually keep to themselves.”
Freeing her hand from her pocket to brush loose hair behind her ear, she quirked a brow as she glanced back down at the fox, watching as he practically glowed beneath the attention. “I can’t promise you won’t find that one under your feet, though, especially now,” she laughed.
Bjørn
Growing up, home hadn’t just housed three rowdy boys, but three dogs and two cats. There’d been also a few fish and a hamster at along the way. It was his fondness for nature and most of its inhabitants that had led Bjørn down the path of sustainable architecture. Even now, the farmhouse was little more than a hollowed structure, its insides as much a craft project as the piles that crowded his bench. It would be easier to work on it now that the days grew shorter, the time he could devote to the project increasing night by night. “We’ll take it easy,” he said, shaking his hand free. He didn’t immediately move from his position, forearms coming to rest on his thighs.
“I’d like to avoid another uh,” he paused, pressing his chin on his shoulder as he looked back. Faded jeans came into view. At least she wasn’t dressed for a spinning class this time around. His gaze dropped to the ground, shoulders dropping. A droplet of water slid from his hairline, the soft collar combat jacket soaking it up. “We’re going to talk about that when you’re ready to. Until then we’ll avoid telepathy, and any other triggers you have.” He remained low, gravel crunching beneath his boot as he shifted his weight onto his back foot, turning his body towards her. His gaze jumped straight to her face, “Do you know what they are?”
Caligrace
Without the attention to keep the fox in place, the creature took off in the opposite direction, though true to his social nature, remained just in sight. She knew that he would be back the moment he wanted something from them, but for now, she turned her attention back to the man. She had expected him to jump to his feet the moment his hands were free, so when he stayed crouched, the nervousness began to show, her fingers now twisting absently at her shirt. It stretched beneath her attention - and when she released it, snapped back into place, only to have her pull at it again. It wasn’t until he managed a look over his shoulder that she forced her hands to stop and slipped them back into her pockets, where she finally remained still.
“I’m okay to talk about it whenever you want to, if you want to,” she added hastily, her eyes closing as she mentally berated herself. Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, she bit down on the skin to stall any further commentary as he moved, and though she thought to take a step back to give him space, she couldn’t seem to get her body to cooperate. She remained where she stood, her head tilted as she swept her gaze across his face, though she hadn’t a clue what she was looking for.
“Telepathy is fine,” she began, shrugging a shoulder. “It’s never been triggered by voices in my head - though not many have used that form of communication with me.” She stopped, then, and lifted her gaze skyward, her attention drifting as she tried to think back on the other times. “It’s only happened twice before in the years since I’ve developed it. The first time, I think was to be expected. There really wasn’t a specific trigger there, unless you count my e--” She caught herself in time, and her jaw tightened before she forced herself to relax.
“There wasn’t anything specific there, just a bunch of **** hitting me at once that I’d never felt before. The second time was triggered by a fight at the club. I was already struggling with the crashing wave of emotions, and the sudden aggression did me in.” It was that time she focused on, her gaze once again growing distant as she tried to think of something specific. “It wasn’t anything like what happened with you, though. I guess the only thing I know to ever trigger it is just an overwhelming amount of emotions at once, and usually, I just… shut down. I don’t do…” she trailed off, then, and waved her hand, as if to conjure the memory from thin air.
Bjørn
“Yeah, like a panic attack, but just…” From where he was crouched, forearms on legs, his hands motioned an explosion. His mouth soundlessly did the same. He was paraphrasing Every’s words, though didn’t ascribe them to her. They all had their demons, and though he couldn’t begin to imagine what it was like being at the whims of other people’s emotions, he knew what it was like to have one’s body become the battleground.
At that, Bjørn pushed himself up to his full height, unfurling like the beast he was. Rolling broad shoulders back and repositioning the canvas strap, he studied her blankly. “You should meet Elliot,” he finally said, “He, uh, took me in when I was going through some ****. He has the same emotion”—he motioned in undefined circles at her face and then his—“thing. Maybe he’ll have some idea.” The man was often at the pub, surrounded by crowds. Bjørn vaguely wondered whether restored humanity had dampened the effects of it on the now-sorcerer. “Did it start after you got bitten?”
Caligrace
The way he spoke of her condition, as if she were a bomb primed to explode, caused her to smirk. How often she had heard that she was dangerous, a menace to society - of course, she didn’t say any of this to him. He more than likely already thought her insane, to tell him that she was haunted by a childhood friend who hated her might just send him in the opposite direction. She knew that wasn’t what he meant when he had begun to speak, but the connection in her mind wasn’t far off from what she thought of herself. When it reached that point, she often did feel as if there was something inside of her waiting to detonate, and it only needed a push.
It wasn’t until he stood - his full height allowing him to tower over her - that she snapped out of her thoughts. Sweeping her gaze over him, she took in his attire without expression, before finally settling her gaze on his, her lip still tugged nervously between her teeth. The way he studied her unnerved her, and she wanted to look away, but forced herself to remain as she was. “I’ve heard of him,” she said, her hands slipping from her pockets to run through her hair. “I don’t know if talking to him will help, to be honest, but I’ll think about it.”
Dropping her hands back to her sides, then, she hooked her thumbs in the loops of her jeans. “It did, shortly after. My turning was… violent,” she cleared her throat, and shrugged. “I always thought that had something to do with it, but I don’t know.”
Bjørn
“Aren’t they all?” he countered without bite. There was no further allusion to his own siring, though the swell of bitterness that coated his tongue was matched by the shadow that flitted through his gaze. As the years went on and the subsequent trauma became manageable, the details pertaining to his final night as a human crystallised. “I’m not too good with crowds or noise,” he admitted, “so I get the whole overwhelming thing. To an extent anyway, so we’ll just have to play it by ear.”
Bjørn shifted his weight from one foot the next, hand curling around the strap of his backpack. He seemed momentarily unsure of himself before adding, abruptly—as if he’d never find the courage to otherwise: “How many pills a night do you take?”
Caligrace
His remark had her laughing, though there was no humor to the sound. “I guess they are,” she admitted, her arms coming to wrap around her middle. If she hadn’t been watching him, she’d have missed the shift in his expression, but she didn’t bring it to attention. It was his nightmare - and she understood wanting to keep it locked away, especially from someone new. “It helps to know that you can kind of understand how it feels,” she admitted, before shifting where she stood, the toe of her boot absently crushing a dead leaf as she watched him move.
Whatever she thought he was going to say after his fingers gripped at the edge of his pack, the mention of her habit wasn’t it. In an instant, her entire body stilled, and her eyes shot to his, the specs of green that usually remained subtle within the golden depths brought to life by the light behind him. As a child, her father often told her that her eyes were a dead giveaway to her mood, and over the years, she had begun to catalogue each change. If he had known her as well as very few others did, he’d have been able to tell by her eyes alone that she was afraid.
The lie was on the tip of her tongue, and she even parted her lips to voice it, before she sighed. If he was asking about the pills, she had to assume he wouldn’t let it go easily. “It depends on the night,” she answered, her voice steady despite the way her hands shook, “but it ranges anywhere from four to eight, eight being uncommon, but not as uncommon as I’d like.”
Bjørn
Bjørn did his best to school his expression. Every had told him Caligrace might benefit from having someone who didn’t judge her, and he was in no position to do so. Still, he balked internally at her answer. He’d only taken one pill and it’d been enough to mellow him out for a while. How on earth could she stand after eight successive doses? He wouldn’t even attempt that himself... If she’d been a human she’d likely already be lost to the throes of addiction, if not dead from an overdose. It was likely her strength that kept her from crumpling to the pills was the same that was dampened by the pills...
Then again, what would he know? He’d tumbled down the rabbit hole and believed himself in control the whole time. It was only when he found himself faced with the reaper hovering over his best friend that he had realised just how far… The thought of Klaus seized his heart.
A wave of sadness—not pity, no. No, it was more like an undercurrent, swelling and plunging to greater depths. It’d been years, and in its wake he’d learned to manage. At first it was impossible to tread water, then he eventually swam, and now he seldom did more than dip his toes in. The effect just that—a fleeting thought—had however, was proof of how dangerous it’d be to wade back out there, even as a proficient swimmer. Blinking away the opaque film that’d settled over his eyes in that fraction of a second, he worked his jaw and gazed thoughtfully down at her. Caligrace wasn’t immune to another’s emotions, and it’d be as much a feat of his to keep his own under control.
“You need to stop,” he said. “I don’t know how we’ll get you to but…” he shook his head. Though permanent death may not await at the end of the rabbit hole, that was seldom what drew people that way. This sensitivity of hers needed to be managed, though as all things, it was easier said than done. “We’ll figure something out. Until then, we train.”
Caligrace
She hadn’t realized her jaw had tightened until it began to ache, and still, she couldn’t relax. The question had taken her by surprise - and now that she had answered, she waited. She waited for him to shake his head in disgust, for him to lecture her, for him to just walk away. Her spine remained straight, her shoulders tight, her hands still shaking at her sides. It would be what she deserved, she knew that, and she wouldn’t fight him on whatever he chose. So, she waited - and she watched him, her darkening eyes scanning his face, as he watched her.
It was only the sudden swell, the charge of emotion between them, that had her reacting. Her eyes closed, and she took in a breath, the motion steadying her as she waited for it to pass. She didn’t focus on it, she didn’t try to look too deep into it. She let it rock through her, and her jaw tightened more, her molars threatening to crack as she forced her eyes to reopen. Wherever he had went, whatever memory had triggered that turmoil, was something dark - something deep, and she wasn’t anywhere near ready try and pick it apart. As soon as it had emerged, it had vanished, leaving nothing but a void in its wake. By then, she was staring at him again, watching him as he studied her with that thoughtful gaze, her own eyes swirling with her own emotion.
His response had her choking on a laugh, and she nodded her head. “I need to stop,” she repeated, her eyes flashing with that fire, before she raised a brow. “I know that. I know that I need to stop. I didn’t even want to start in the first ******* place.” She wasn’t yelling at him - she wasn’t even raising her voice, nor was her anger directed at him. It was if she couldn’t stop herself from talking, though, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. “I was told it would be beneficial, I was told that it would make it easier, because it helped her. It was because she seemed to always be on top of the world, that she didn’t suffer like I did, that I believed her. It’s my fault I’m like this, though, because I was smart enough to know that it was wrong, I just didn’t care. I was desperate,” she muttered, in part because she wanted him to understand - and in part, because she wanted to hear it for herself, to taste the words she’d never spoken aloud on her tongue.
“I’m willing to do whatever I need to, but don’t feel obligated to help me, you’re already doing so much with training me,” she chuckled, “but I won’t turn your help away, and I’m grateful for it.”
Bjørn
Bjørn scrubbed a hand over his face. He’d not bothered to shave, and likely wouldn’t for a while. There was something about still being able to change his appearance that he relished in. He’d met vampires who were stuck in their bodies, unable to alter the slightest hair. He feared one day he’d become like them, but the fear wasn’t enough to keep him impeccably groomed night in night out. That, and the tech he relied on to watch himself go through the process wasn’t water friendly, turning the once simple process of shaving into an ordeal. He’d do it in the shower if he wasn’t afraid of it being uneven; the cuts would heal easily enough if he messed up otherwise. Dragging his hand over his mouth, chin, and throat, he cast a glance out at the property.
“A professional might be more helpful if it’s that bad, but…” He had been down that road. The aged linoleum and beige plaster ceilings… “Yeah,” he shrugged. Whatever. It was an offer he’d intended to keep open, but there was only so much he was capable of. Just because he’d spent the better part of a year institutionalised didn’t give him all the answers.
“I thought we’d start with some basic stuff. Where d’you want us?”
Caligrace
“I was sent to a professional in the past, when I was human. All they did was give me a prescription, pat me on the head, and tell me that I’d grow out of my anxiety.” It wasn’t something that she kept hidden, so she had no trouble admitting that to him. In some things, she was an open book, and being able to do something without being weighed down by the guilt was freeing, some of the tension easing from her shoulders. “I don’t trust them,” she finished, her palms facing upwards as she shrugged. “I wasn’t saying I didn’t want your help, anyway, because I do. I was just doing the whole ‘you don’t have to’ spiel that is usually custom there.”
It was then, that she truly laughed, the darkness easing from her eyes. It seemed that no matter what happened, there was always a serious moment between the two, and while it wasn't exactly a bad thing - that didn’t mean she wanted to dwell on it. He seemed as ready as she was to change the subject, and she stepped around him, pointing down a dirt path to their right. “There’s a clearing down here that I thought would be good. No plants, few critters, and it’s quiet,” she explained, before turning and walking the way she’d pointed. “I came out here earlier and put a couple of benches out so you wouldn’t have to put your things on the ground.”
Bjørn
At the mention of benches, Bjørn cocked a brow. His backpack would end up wherever if ended up, and the same could be said about his jacket. If there was one household item he’d not cheapened out on it’d been the washing and dryer combos—the two sets of them. “A little dirt never hurt nobody,” he quipped, following after her. His eyes tracked the foxes, the one he’d petted earlier—Fin— indistinguishable to him from the others.
Reaching the clearing, he began to shed the layers—backpack and jacket without much care for where they ended up. His jacket slumped to the ground. Stepping away, he pushed up the sleeves of the lightweight hoodie he wore below. “Last time you couldn’t get out of my hold—twice—so we’re gonna work on that. Cuz there’s no point in any of this if you can’t get yourself unstuck.”
He stepped up right into her personal space then, neatly rolling the second sleeve to just under his elbow. The same mismatch of metals and leathers adorned his wrists and fingers.
Caligrace
Stepping into the clearing, she pulled her phone from her back pocket, her fingers quickly sliding over the screen to power it off. Carefully tossing it onto the bench, she simply gave him a look at his quip, her gaze following the path his jacket took. Her fingers twitched, and she hard to physically stop herself from picking it up and placing it someone safer. Over the years, she had learned to accept things as they were - she couldn’t control every aspect of her life, her death had proven that, but sometimes - the little things still got to her. It was easy enough to shake off, and she was turning to face him, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched him.
“If we knew each other better, handsome, I would swear you did that on purpose,” she teased, before her gaze dropped to his hands as he began to roll up his sleeves. He was speaking again, and she shook herself from wherever her mind was trying to go, her eyes jumping back to his. In the second of her distraction, he had gotten closer, his scent filling the space between them. It was familiar - yet at the same time, it was still too new, too unknown - and she had to fight to keep herself from moving. Instead, she focused on what he was saying, listening to the way he formed the words, and used them to bring up the memory of their last session.
“It sounds easy enough,” she grinned, though she knew it was going to be anything but. He was too strong, too fast, and far more equipped for this. When he moved to roll up his other sleeve, she didn’t allow herself to get distracted, and instead, studied him. “What do I need to do?”
Running a hand through his shower-damp hair, Bjørn crossed the short distance to hers, gravel and dried leaves crunching underfoot. Slung over his shoulder was a worn canvas backpack filled with both weapons and traps. He figured he’d bring along some options in the event things spiralled once again. This time, he wouldn’t let things end as they had Thursday night. In fact, he had every intention of starting things differently too. Over the weekend he’d tested out one of the three pills he’d unearthed; another was pocketed in his backpack. Whether or not he’d take it to make a point would depend.
A scurrying fox caught his attention as he walked down the footpath leading towards the main building. Pausing, he dropped to his haunches and reached out an arm. Clicking his tongue, he remained completely still as the four-legged creature approached. For some reason, his human passing privilege extended to all warmbloods. When he heard something down the path, he was still sitting on his heels, the fox’s maw clasped around his hand as his fingers tickled the bright orange fur.
Caligrace
The sound of dried leaves falling to decay beneath a heavy boot signalled his arrival, and she tried to keep her nerves to a minimum as she tossed her pen down. It bounced and rolled off of the table, before landing on the floor - only to disappear beneath the couch. Counting it a loss that was easily replaced, she pushed from her desk and closed her eyes. It had only been a couple of days, and though she was better, the shame still hung heavy in her chest. It caused her to hesitate, body slightly turned to face the door, before she shook her head.
“Get it together,” she muttered under her breath as she straightened her shirt, the green tank fitting tight to her body. She had spent a little more than an hour deciding what to wear - and though the thought of impressing him had filtered into the decision, in the end, it had been what she thought would be most comfortable and practical for whatever he had planned. The shirt covered more of her skin then the sports bra had, only an inch or so of flesh visible between where the hem ended and her faded skinny jeans began. The denim was comfortable - not as comfortable as the leggings had been - but more durable, and she had forgone the sneakers for a pair of black boots, the heel more modest than what she usually wore.
Her face was devoid of make-up, and her hair was hastily twisted into a braid that hung over a shoulder. Sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, she made her way down the path, his hunched form already in sight. “I see you’ve met Fin,” she said by way of greeting as she came to stand behind him, the fox soaking up the attention with a look of pure bliss.
Bjørn
“Fin?” he hummed rhetorically, dragging his thumb under the animal’s jaw as it quipped up at him. Its pelt looked deceivingly soft, the multicoloured hairs thicker and far less yielding than they looked. Bjørn didn’t stop his ministrations or look over to Caligrace, his gaze focused on the creature. Fin stretched over the gravel, its tufted tail gently slapping at his boot. “They won’t get in the way, will they?”
Caligrace
“He’s the more social of the bunch,” she explained, her attention tearing away from creature and man, to search the west side of the land. “The others are out there somewhere. You might hear them rustling around or see a few while they’re playing, but they usually keep to themselves.”
Freeing her hand from her pocket to brush loose hair behind her ear, she quirked a brow as she glanced back down at the fox, watching as he practically glowed beneath the attention. “I can’t promise you won’t find that one under your feet, though, especially now,” she laughed.
Bjørn
Growing up, home hadn’t just housed three rowdy boys, but three dogs and two cats. There’d been also a few fish and a hamster at along the way. It was his fondness for nature and most of its inhabitants that had led Bjørn down the path of sustainable architecture. Even now, the farmhouse was little more than a hollowed structure, its insides as much a craft project as the piles that crowded his bench. It would be easier to work on it now that the days grew shorter, the time he could devote to the project increasing night by night. “We’ll take it easy,” he said, shaking his hand free. He didn’t immediately move from his position, forearms coming to rest on his thighs.
“I’d like to avoid another uh,” he paused, pressing his chin on his shoulder as he looked back. Faded jeans came into view. At least she wasn’t dressed for a spinning class this time around. His gaze dropped to the ground, shoulders dropping. A droplet of water slid from his hairline, the soft collar combat jacket soaking it up. “We’re going to talk about that when you’re ready to. Until then we’ll avoid telepathy, and any other triggers you have.” He remained low, gravel crunching beneath his boot as he shifted his weight onto his back foot, turning his body towards her. His gaze jumped straight to her face, “Do you know what they are?”
Caligrace
Without the attention to keep the fox in place, the creature took off in the opposite direction, though true to his social nature, remained just in sight. She knew that he would be back the moment he wanted something from them, but for now, she turned her attention back to the man. She had expected him to jump to his feet the moment his hands were free, so when he stayed crouched, the nervousness began to show, her fingers now twisting absently at her shirt. It stretched beneath her attention - and when she released it, snapped back into place, only to have her pull at it again. It wasn’t until he managed a look over his shoulder that she forced her hands to stop and slipped them back into her pockets, where she finally remained still.
“I’m okay to talk about it whenever you want to, if you want to,” she added hastily, her eyes closing as she mentally berated herself. Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, she bit down on the skin to stall any further commentary as he moved, and though she thought to take a step back to give him space, she couldn’t seem to get her body to cooperate. She remained where she stood, her head tilted as she swept her gaze across his face, though she hadn’t a clue what she was looking for.
“Telepathy is fine,” she began, shrugging a shoulder. “It’s never been triggered by voices in my head - though not many have used that form of communication with me.” She stopped, then, and lifted her gaze skyward, her attention drifting as she tried to think back on the other times. “It’s only happened twice before in the years since I’ve developed it. The first time, I think was to be expected. There really wasn’t a specific trigger there, unless you count my e--” She caught herself in time, and her jaw tightened before she forced herself to relax.
“There wasn’t anything specific there, just a bunch of **** hitting me at once that I’d never felt before. The second time was triggered by a fight at the club. I was already struggling with the crashing wave of emotions, and the sudden aggression did me in.” It was that time she focused on, her gaze once again growing distant as she tried to think of something specific. “It wasn’t anything like what happened with you, though. I guess the only thing I know to ever trigger it is just an overwhelming amount of emotions at once, and usually, I just… shut down. I don’t do…” she trailed off, then, and waved her hand, as if to conjure the memory from thin air.
Bjørn
“Yeah, like a panic attack, but just…” From where he was crouched, forearms on legs, his hands motioned an explosion. His mouth soundlessly did the same. He was paraphrasing Every’s words, though didn’t ascribe them to her. They all had their demons, and though he couldn’t begin to imagine what it was like being at the whims of other people’s emotions, he knew what it was like to have one’s body become the battleground.
At that, Bjørn pushed himself up to his full height, unfurling like the beast he was. Rolling broad shoulders back and repositioning the canvas strap, he studied her blankly. “You should meet Elliot,” he finally said, “He, uh, took me in when I was going through some ****. He has the same emotion”—he motioned in undefined circles at her face and then his—“thing. Maybe he’ll have some idea.” The man was often at the pub, surrounded by crowds. Bjørn vaguely wondered whether restored humanity had dampened the effects of it on the now-sorcerer. “Did it start after you got bitten?”
Caligrace
The way he spoke of her condition, as if she were a bomb primed to explode, caused her to smirk. How often she had heard that she was dangerous, a menace to society - of course, she didn’t say any of this to him. He more than likely already thought her insane, to tell him that she was haunted by a childhood friend who hated her might just send him in the opposite direction. She knew that wasn’t what he meant when he had begun to speak, but the connection in her mind wasn’t far off from what she thought of herself. When it reached that point, she often did feel as if there was something inside of her waiting to detonate, and it only needed a push.
It wasn’t until he stood - his full height allowing him to tower over her - that she snapped out of her thoughts. Sweeping her gaze over him, she took in his attire without expression, before finally settling her gaze on his, her lip still tugged nervously between her teeth. The way he studied her unnerved her, and she wanted to look away, but forced herself to remain as she was. “I’ve heard of him,” she said, her hands slipping from her pockets to run through her hair. “I don’t know if talking to him will help, to be honest, but I’ll think about it.”
Dropping her hands back to her sides, then, she hooked her thumbs in the loops of her jeans. “It did, shortly after. My turning was… violent,” she cleared her throat, and shrugged. “I always thought that had something to do with it, but I don’t know.”
Bjørn
“Aren’t they all?” he countered without bite. There was no further allusion to his own siring, though the swell of bitterness that coated his tongue was matched by the shadow that flitted through his gaze. As the years went on and the subsequent trauma became manageable, the details pertaining to his final night as a human crystallised. “I’m not too good with crowds or noise,” he admitted, “so I get the whole overwhelming thing. To an extent anyway, so we’ll just have to play it by ear.”
Bjørn shifted his weight from one foot the next, hand curling around the strap of his backpack. He seemed momentarily unsure of himself before adding, abruptly—as if he’d never find the courage to otherwise: “How many pills a night do you take?”
Caligrace
His remark had her laughing, though there was no humor to the sound. “I guess they are,” she admitted, her arms coming to wrap around her middle. If she hadn’t been watching him, she’d have missed the shift in his expression, but she didn’t bring it to attention. It was his nightmare - and she understood wanting to keep it locked away, especially from someone new. “It helps to know that you can kind of understand how it feels,” she admitted, before shifting where she stood, the toe of her boot absently crushing a dead leaf as she watched him move.
Whatever she thought he was going to say after his fingers gripped at the edge of his pack, the mention of her habit wasn’t it. In an instant, her entire body stilled, and her eyes shot to his, the specs of green that usually remained subtle within the golden depths brought to life by the light behind him. As a child, her father often told her that her eyes were a dead giveaway to her mood, and over the years, she had begun to catalogue each change. If he had known her as well as very few others did, he’d have been able to tell by her eyes alone that she was afraid.
The lie was on the tip of her tongue, and she even parted her lips to voice it, before she sighed. If he was asking about the pills, she had to assume he wouldn’t let it go easily. “It depends on the night,” she answered, her voice steady despite the way her hands shook, “but it ranges anywhere from four to eight, eight being uncommon, but not as uncommon as I’d like.”
Bjørn
Bjørn did his best to school his expression. Every had told him Caligrace might benefit from having someone who didn’t judge her, and he was in no position to do so. Still, he balked internally at her answer. He’d only taken one pill and it’d been enough to mellow him out for a while. How on earth could she stand after eight successive doses? He wouldn’t even attempt that himself... If she’d been a human she’d likely already be lost to the throes of addiction, if not dead from an overdose. It was likely her strength that kept her from crumpling to the pills was the same that was dampened by the pills...
Then again, what would he know? He’d tumbled down the rabbit hole and believed himself in control the whole time. It was only when he found himself faced with the reaper hovering over his best friend that he had realised just how far… The thought of Klaus seized his heart.
A wave of sadness—not pity, no. No, it was more like an undercurrent, swelling and plunging to greater depths. It’d been years, and in its wake he’d learned to manage. At first it was impossible to tread water, then he eventually swam, and now he seldom did more than dip his toes in. The effect just that—a fleeting thought—had however, was proof of how dangerous it’d be to wade back out there, even as a proficient swimmer. Blinking away the opaque film that’d settled over his eyes in that fraction of a second, he worked his jaw and gazed thoughtfully down at her. Caligrace wasn’t immune to another’s emotions, and it’d be as much a feat of his to keep his own under control.
“You need to stop,” he said. “I don’t know how we’ll get you to but…” he shook his head. Though permanent death may not await at the end of the rabbit hole, that was seldom what drew people that way. This sensitivity of hers needed to be managed, though as all things, it was easier said than done. “We’ll figure something out. Until then, we train.”
Caligrace
She hadn’t realized her jaw had tightened until it began to ache, and still, she couldn’t relax. The question had taken her by surprise - and now that she had answered, she waited. She waited for him to shake his head in disgust, for him to lecture her, for him to just walk away. Her spine remained straight, her shoulders tight, her hands still shaking at her sides. It would be what she deserved, she knew that, and she wouldn’t fight him on whatever he chose. So, she waited - and she watched him, her darkening eyes scanning his face, as he watched her.
It was only the sudden swell, the charge of emotion between them, that had her reacting. Her eyes closed, and she took in a breath, the motion steadying her as she waited for it to pass. She didn’t focus on it, she didn’t try to look too deep into it. She let it rock through her, and her jaw tightened more, her molars threatening to crack as she forced her eyes to reopen. Wherever he had went, whatever memory had triggered that turmoil, was something dark - something deep, and she wasn’t anywhere near ready try and pick it apart. As soon as it had emerged, it had vanished, leaving nothing but a void in its wake. By then, she was staring at him again, watching him as he studied her with that thoughtful gaze, her own eyes swirling with her own emotion.
His response had her choking on a laugh, and she nodded her head. “I need to stop,” she repeated, her eyes flashing with that fire, before she raised a brow. “I know that. I know that I need to stop. I didn’t even want to start in the first ******* place.” She wasn’t yelling at him - she wasn’t even raising her voice, nor was her anger directed at him. It was if she couldn’t stop herself from talking, though, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. “I was told it would be beneficial, I was told that it would make it easier, because it helped her. It was because she seemed to always be on top of the world, that she didn’t suffer like I did, that I believed her. It’s my fault I’m like this, though, because I was smart enough to know that it was wrong, I just didn’t care. I was desperate,” she muttered, in part because she wanted him to understand - and in part, because she wanted to hear it for herself, to taste the words she’d never spoken aloud on her tongue.
“I’m willing to do whatever I need to, but don’t feel obligated to help me, you’re already doing so much with training me,” she chuckled, “but I won’t turn your help away, and I’m grateful for it.”
Bjørn
Bjørn scrubbed a hand over his face. He’d not bothered to shave, and likely wouldn’t for a while. There was something about still being able to change his appearance that he relished in. He’d met vampires who were stuck in their bodies, unable to alter the slightest hair. He feared one day he’d become like them, but the fear wasn’t enough to keep him impeccably groomed night in night out. That, and the tech he relied on to watch himself go through the process wasn’t water friendly, turning the once simple process of shaving into an ordeal. He’d do it in the shower if he wasn’t afraid of it being uneven; the cuts would heal easily enough if he messed up otherwise. Dragging his hand over his mouth, chin, and throat, he cast a glance out at the property.
“A professional might be more helpful if it’s that bad, but…” He had been down that road. The aged linoleum and beige plaster ceilings… “Yeah,” he shrugged. Whatever. It was an offer he’d intended to keep open, but there was only so much he was capable of. Just because he’d spent the better part of a year institutionalised didn’t give him all the answers.
“I thought we’d start with some basic stuff. Where d’you want us?”
Caligrace
“I was sent to a professional in the past, when I was human. All they did was give me a prescription, pat me on the head, and tell me that I’d grow out of my anxiety.” It wasn’t something that she kept hidden, so she had no trouble admitting that to him. In some things, she was an open book, and being able to do something without being weighed down by the guilt was freeing, some of the tension easing from her shoulders. “I don’t trust them,” she finished, her palms facing upwards as she shrugged. “I wasn’t saying I didn’t want your help, anyway, because I do. I was just doing the whole ‘you don’t have to’ spiel that is usually custom there.”
It was then, that she truly laughed, the darkness easing from her eyes. It seemed that no matter what happened, there was always a serious moment between the two, and while it wasn't exactly a bad thing - that didn’t mean she wanted to dwell on it. He seemed as ready as she was to change the subject, and she stepped around him, pointing down a dirt path to their right. “There’s a clearing down here that I thought would be good. No plants, few critters, and it’s quiet,” she explained, before turning and walking the way she’d pointed. “I came out here earlier and put a couple of benches out so you wouldn’t have to put your things on the ground.”
Bjørn
At the mention of benches, Bjørn cocked a brow. His backpack would end up wherever if ended up, and the same could be said about his jacket. If there was one household item he’d not cheapened out on it’d been the washing and dryer combos—the two sets of them. “A little dirt never hurt nobody,” he quipped, following after her. His eyes tracked the foxes, the one he’d petted earlier—Fin— indistinguishable to him from the others.
Reaching the clearing, he began to shed the layers—backpack and jacket without much care for where they ended up. His jacket slumped to the ground. Stepping away, he pushed up the sleeves of the lightweight hoodie he wore below. “Last time you couldn’t get out of my hold—twice—so we’re gonna work on that. Cuz there’s no point in any of this if you can’t get yourself unstuck.”
He stepped up right into her personal space then, neatly rolling the second sleeve to just under his elbow. The same mismatch of metals and leathers adorned his wrists and fingers.
Caligrace
Stepping into the clearing, she pulled her phone from her back pocket, her fingers quickly sliding over the screen to power it off. Carefully tossing it onto the bench, she simply gave him a look at his quip, her gaze following the path his jacket took. Her fingers twitched, and she hard to physically stop herself from picking it up and placing it someone safer. Over the years, she had learned to accept things as they were - she couldn’t control every aspect of her life, her death had proven that, but sometimes - the little things still got to her. It was easy enough to shake off, and she was turning to face him, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched him.
“If we knew each other better, handsome, I would swear you did that on purpose,” she teased, before her gaze dropped to his hands as he began to roll up his sleeves. He was speaking again, and she shook herself from wherever her mind was trying to go, her eyes jumping back to his. In the second of her distraction, he had gotten closer, his scent filling the space between them. It was familiar - yet at the same time, it was still too new, too unknown - and she had to fight to keep herself from moving. Instead, she focused on what he was saying, listening to the way he formed the words, and used them to bring up the memory of their last session.
“It sounds easy enough,” she grinned, though she knew it was going to be anything but. He was too strong, too fast, and far more equipped for this. When he moved to roll up his other sleeve, she didn’t allow herself to get distracted, and instead, studied him. “What do I need to do?”