THE DEVIL REVERSED
“When I was sixteen, I started to abuse ritalin.” The expression on the psychiatrist's face was one Every was familiar with. Her eyes held judgment, her lips pressed into a thin line of concern. The wrinkles around her mouth showed that she was unsure of how to respond to such an open admittance to substance abuse. “And, I often paired it with alcohol as I got older.” Idly, she rocked back and forth in her chair, her legs were perched on the table of her apartment. It was a neutral area that the woman had seemed interested in seeing. Whether or not it was because Every had admitted to her on the phone that she was a vampire, and she wanted to see her supposed ‘lair’, the shadow didn’t particularly care.
As the woman had entered the living area, she hadn’t missed the way that blue eyes searched the walls for vampire aesthetic. Surprise had been evident when she’d found the fridge full of food for the humans in Every’s life and the blood sealed in a bottle. The fact Every still had the receipt from where she’d purchased it sitting on the counter had startled the woman beyond belief. However, once the initial shock had passed, and the casual conversations ended, they had gotten down to discussing the terms of her ‘therapy’ sessions, if she could call them as such. Silas had recommended her and so, Every had flown her from California.
“And how did that affect you?”
The question had her searching as Every lifted a shoulder. “At first I was fine, but eventually, it went bad. Doesn’t it all?” She knew her answers were vague. She could tell the frustration building behind the red headed woman’s ever calm composure. Her wraith hovered not too far away, his shadowed expression impossible to read - but Every could imagine that he wasn’t happy about the revelation. It was something Every didn’t like to talk about. However, there were always secrets that people liked to keep about themselves - addiction had ran in her family. Her cousin, herself. Both of her parents had issues regarding to alcohol, even before her father’s death, her mother had been a heavy drinker. To admit she was like her mother had Every always reluctant to talk about it.
It wasn’t until she’d witnessed Amalea’s episode, that realization that the blood thief hadn’t been in total control of herself… it reminded Every of a memory she didn’t particularly like. The memory of coming out of the worst of it all, of the evening after she’d recalled the violence, the weight of the fire extinguisher in her hands coming down against Dylan’s face. Across from her, Dr. Johnson waited patiently for a further explanation. “It started a few months after my brother died. I don’t remember the specific dates, I don’t want to.” She could feel the wraith watching her as she wet her lips. If she could imagine his expression, it would likely be one of frustration - she could almost hear his thoughts, why hadn’t I seen it? “But, long story short, eventually, I found myself at the worst point after my stepfather must’ve knocked me down. I’ve had a trigger temper when I was younger - you get what you give, and I must’ve reached my boiling point.”
Earlier in the night, Every had found herself googling statute of limitations in California. Although she’d been arrested in the past, she’d been let go due to lack of evidence. “I don’t remember the snap. But I remember the violence. And I know it happened because the memories come back in flashes, as if I were looking at them as if they were a movie. My mother, my step sister. I took a lot of time murdering my stepfather.” There was the shock that Every always saw on her face, the color starting to drain as she realized that the woman across from her had admitted a crime. That she had gotten away from it.
Across the room, she could see the wraith almost defeatedly slump. He had heard the rumors, but the discussion was something Every didn’t discuss with him. He’d found her on the beach covered in blood that night, the memory was crystal clear. “If you look up my file with the school, some of what’s been written down - anxiety, panic attacks, low appetite, irritability - they’re signs of methylphenidate addiction and the psychiatric side effects.” The woman jotted something down and Every could see she wasn’t sure about what she should do. The scent of her fear radiated, but the fact that Every hadn’t changed her position seemed to set her on ease. She’d told her at the start of it all that she wouldn’t hurt her and Every couldn’t lie.
Not any more.
“And… erm, excuse me. When did you decide to make a change?” The woman inquired after she’d recovered. “An overdose?” There was the judgemental tone again, like the one that had been present after Every had told her that she was a vampire. Every gave a shake of her head. “My sister, Lia, had asked me to come to Harper Rock a few times. I continued using up until that point… because I was in school and needed the extra boost. Lighter usage, but, after she’d asked me the first time I started teetering off. Because I knew she’d be disappointed in the woman that I was becoming - that I was becoming my mother.”
The words ‘my sister’ echoed in the room around them as Every sat in her chair. It had been some time since she’d referred to Lia as such, but she knew even now, the woman was still considered to be family. Even after everything that had happened. She shifted, ever so slightly, to lean more in the chair. Her back to the wall, her body towards the door - it was her usual position. “I used to boost my educational scores, but I also used the alcohol to escape reality. And as I was getting older, I knew I needed to stop. Lia promised me a new start in Harper Rock, but it wasn’t the one that I expected. But I knew I’d have to sober up before I could face my new reality.”
