“And that, ladies and gentlemen,” said Grant Stonehouse, bold as a bronze statue of a Greek god welcoming travellers as they entered the gates to the city of Athens, “is why the business venture that I am proposing is guaranteed to be fruitful for all of us.”
The tall Englishman, dressed impeccably in a navy blue Hugo Boss suit, crisp white shirt, and a chestnut brown silk tie that complemented his leather shoes and belt perfectly, began to walk purposefully around the meeting room of his office. The building may have lacked the architectural majesty of the Acropolis, and the divine aura of Mount Olympus, but Stonehouse still felt like an almighty deity as he handed out printed copies of his latest entrepreneurial escapade.
In a world swamped by iThis, eThat, and virtual-Whatever, there was something reassuring, something comforting and familiar, about holding a physical copy of a business proposal in one’s hands. That ability to thumb through the pages with ease, to underline or highlight key bullet points, to actually feel something substantial between one’s fingers and thumbs rather than simply staring at a screen, always brought a smile to Stonehouse’s chiselled face. It was like reading a good old-fashioned book, as opposed to browsing a web page, or flicking a lazy digit across the touch-screen of a Kindle.
“Here is a resume of everything that I’ve just presented to you,” said Stonehouse, shuffling through a small pile of paperwork. “Please read it at your convenience.”
Stonehouse handed out the first copy of his business proposition to a middle-aged man with a receding hairline, who grabbed at the files with his stumpy hands, eagerly getting to work at digesting the information with his greedy eyes.
“By all means feel free to ask any further questions,” added the sophisticated salesman, “although I’m sure that you’ll find everything to be both thorough and correct.”
Technically speaking, when Stonehouse mentioned ladies and gentlemen he was wrong, as there was only one woman in the room. The second recipient of the confident businessman’s report was the lone female in question, a smart-looking woman, perhaps thirty-five years old, dressed in a knee-length grey skirt and matching jacket, her black hair tied back into a tight ponytail. She appeared to have taken her fashion advice from TV courtroom dramas, and was apparently invited to the meeting by the balding man to scrutinize the legal side of any deal. It was perhaps highly ironic, then, that there was absolutely nothing legal or above board about this particular transaction.
Although Stonehouse’s company, Mastermind, was supposedly a small firm dealing with psychological analysis and self-help, it was purely a mask for what was hidden within, nothing more than a concealed gateway to a shady world of arms dealing. Ever since the collapse of the Masquerade - the veil of secrecy that had protected the anonymity of the vampire community from their human neighbours - trade in firearms had been booming. Whether it was a group of nervous vampires, worried about potential vigilante attacks, or fearful humans, frightened that the bloodsuckers would select them as their next victim, everyone wanted the protection afforded by a weapon. Anything from easily concealable handguns to military grade assault rifles, if someone wanted it, Stonehouse could source it.
Needless to say, the murky underworld of illegal arms trading was, in itself, a dangerous place to be, hence the need for the third person in the visiting consortium. A set of sturdy hands, belonging to a muscle-bound man dressed in clothes usually worn by doormen at nightclubs, accepted the final copy of Stonehouse’s file. The beefcake mumbled something under his breath, possibly an indication that reading business literature wasn’t exactly his strong point.
Having completed distributing the details of his excellently delivered sales pitch like Santa Claus handing out presents on Christmas Day, Stonehouse stood tall in the centre of the room, a proud expression etched across his face.
“I’m sure that you’ll all agree,” concluded Stonehouse, addressing the small gathering, “that we can make a substantial sum of money.”
A set of piercingly sharp eyes scanned the features of the three people who remained seated in front of him, examining their body language, searching for signs of either acceptance or rejection while they whispered amongst themselves. The self-confident businessman always trusted his instincts, and right now, his gut feeling was that the meeting had been a roaring success. These people wanted to strike a deal.
The clientele of this potential transaction, lead by the balding man, were all human, but fully aware of the existence of vampires within their precious city. They saw through the fog of hysteria and paranoia that had descended upon certain quarters of the population, and were focussed solely on the Dollar signs that repeatedly flashed before their avaricious eyes like strobe lighting at a swanky nightclub. One man’s blood-curdling nightmare was an opportunist’s financial dream.
Both the relative silence and Stonehouse’s concentration were abruptly shattered by the unmistakable sound of a phone ringing, and the accompanying vibration in the pocket of the Englishman’s suit trousers. A puzzled appearance spread across Stonehouse’s face as he wondered why his phone was still switched on. Ever the professional, the entrepreneur would always turn his phone onto silent mode during an important meeting or seminar. Then it struck him like the lightning-fast fist of a boxing champion; it wasn’t his regular phone causing the disturbance, it was his “special” phone, a separate device, the number of which was only given out to a very select group of people, those who had gained access to Stonehouse’s inner circle.
“Please excuse me for a second,” said Stonehouse apologetically. “It appears that something urgent has just popped up.”
Withdrawing the phone from his pocket with the grace of a deadly gunslinger drawing his Colt 45 from its holster, Stonehouse gazed in moderate surprize at the name flashing on his screen: “Finderella”.
Finderella, or Finley to give the free-spirited woman her Sunday best name, was the childe of the cosmopolitan vampire, and quite possibly the only person in Harper Rock with even a sniff of forcing Stonehouse’s firm hand, or influencing his otherwise watertight decisions. The tall, slender woman, with her sparkling blue eyes and blonde hair, held an interesting position within her sire’s non-beating heart.
When it came to women, Stonehouse didn’t have a specific “type”. The adventurer certainly didn’t feel any necessity to pigeonhole his tastes into one particular box. That would be like dining regularly at an elegant Michelin starred restaurant, and always choosing the smoked salmon as one’s main course. Sometimes, the connoisseur wanted to sink his teeth into a plate of succulent red meat, oozing with juicy flavours, while on other occasions, a serving of lean, grilled chicken would satisfy his appetite. Why go for the traditional platter all the time if there was a spicy Asian dish on the specials board just aching to be sampled?
Having said that, if Stonehouse were forced to nail his colours to the mast, then a Finley-type flag would probably be riding high on his pole. But the leggy blonde was most definitely not on the menu. Taking a bite from his childe would be like fooling around with one’s sister. In fact no, it would be far worse than that. Crossing the line with Finley would be akin to messing about with your best friend’s sister; strictly speaking it was allowed, but the fallout could be truly chaotic.
Stonehouse smiled softly. Like it or not, there was no way that he could avoid taking the call. Tapping on the green “Accept” button, Stonehouse was all set to churn out a predictable greeting when Finley jumped straight in, expressing what appeared to be her concern at being stuck in a spot of bother. Her voice sounded distant, as if she were whispering, hoping not to be heard by someone in her vicinity. Was she trapped in a cupboard, or hiding in a box?
In virtually any other circumstances, Stonehouse would have whizzed away like a doting father who was anxious to get his daughter home from the school prom, and plucked Finley out of whatever scrape she’d found herself in, but that wasn’t a viable option right now. There was too much at stake in the current game of firearms poker, too many cards already on the table to simply fold and walk away. Rather than the businessman heading to Finley, Stonehouse was going to have to summon the rebellious mischief-maker to him.
The sharp-dressed executive returned his focus to the three humans, preparing to make his next announcement.
“If you have no objections,” said Stonehouse, “my... secretary would like to join us. She’s very keen to be part of this momentous partnership.”
Several nods of approval gave Stonehouse the green light to bring an additional player to the table, albeit one that probably wasn’t holding any aces.
“Please forgive the theatrics involved,” added the classy vampire, as he unleashed his mystical powers to summon his childe.
In the blink of totally stunned eye, Finley materialized in the room like a character beamed aboard the USS Enterprise during an episode of Star Trek, much to the delight of the middle-aged boss of the purchasing consortium. The shifty-looking man wasn’t so excited by the display of vampiric magic as he was by the sight that now held his sleazy eyes captivated. The toned blonde wasn’t dressed in a standard issue Star Fleet blue, yellow, or red uniform, but in skimpy underwear that could only be described as sexy-as-****. The outfit, and the svelte figure of Finley to which it clung so perfectly, was a devastatingly hot combination that could melt the polar ice caps, causing even the most clueless Oompa-Loompa lookalike US president to change his prehistoric views on climate change.
Despite the palpable rise in temperature, time appeared to freeze, an awkward silence gripping the room like the grubby hands of a serial strangler around the throat of the meeting. Stonehouse turned to face his gobsmacked audience, attempting to restore an atmosphere of consummate professionalism.
“As you can see,” he said calmly, “I like to employ a very liberal dress code, especially on dress-down days such as today.”