Broken Mirrors

[CaelNolVinci (DELETED 9092)]

I stared into a mirror for hours. Hours. I just sat there and stared. Just a wall. All I could see was a wall. I could feel blood on my face. I could see it on my hands. Just a wall. The mirror never lies. I think I'm turning into a shadow, or something. My body isn't really real right? I mean I can see it, I can touch it, but the mirror...

Ok, more composed. I'm a vampire now. I still laugh when I say that, like almost maniacally. I'm sure somebody heard that somewhere, I'll have to move soon, sound carries in these tunnels...but that woman, she was a vampire, and she made me one. I don't want to talk about that. So why am I? I'm writing this crap, I can stop. I heard about it, the whole vampires in Harper Rock thing. Sounded so tabloidy, but it was everywhere. I guess I kind of thought it was BS. I mean who believes the media these days anyway right? Whoops. Maybe I should have steered clear? Should of could of.

This hunger is, it's very strong. That's a nice PC way to put it. Let me call up the news peeps and blurt that out. I hunger for your human blood come at me bro!

I overheard people talking. I'm pretty good at, I don't know, remaining incognito. I just kind of know how to do it, how to move, where to stand, when to slip away. Like this instinct I have now...Sometimes I feel almost like I can be a shadow, but I can't, but I could, maybe...I don't know. Anyway, this city is crazy. I'm in a crazy situation, in a crazy place. I wanted to go to Toronto...but I kind of want to stay now. Why? I must be out of my mind but I just do, can't really explain it.

The sewers are my friend, oh yeah the quarantine zone. What the freakin f*** is that s*** about. Dude, I didn't believe it. I had to see it for myself. So I did. I snuck in and there are zombies there. I mean, what is real yo, you know, seriously. And I was almost attacked by some crazy feral vamp in the sewers. I just knew he was trouble, so I kind of did my incognito thing and he just kept walking. How long have I been here..two days? Something like that. I'm so hungry...I got a knife, a big one, you know for protection. I'm like so quick now...

Ok I'm just rambling. Take a deep breath. F*** this mirror.

[CaelNolVinci (DELETED 9092)]

I had a caroler for Christmas dinner. It had been awhile. I can be a bit of a shut in. Ok, I decided to try and just not feed ok. Didn't matter anyway. Eventually, as I have discovered, you simply have to. The longer you wait, the more you hunger, the more the hunger awakens. I don't know if I'm wording that right. It's like a part of you. All you can do is keep it sated, but if you don't, it will indulge itself, and there isn't much you can do about it. Wait, what's the date? I need to date these. Christ, it's January 4th, 2017. Happy f****** new year. What did I do for new years? I don't really remember. It all kind of blurs together. Oh the caroler, don't worry I didn't kill him. I don't like to kill them, you don't have to. I've been told that it's better if you do, if you feed on people that is. Especially now that the vamps out of the coffin, so to speak. Because if you don't they sort of go in a like trance state or something. Sometimes they just stand there, mostly they wander around. I wonder if any of them ever wander into traffic or something... anyway, it won't be long before they put two and two together some say. I don't know. I wonder if I could pan for blood. Like make a sign, homeless vampire needs blood, don't want to assault you for it... I guess I could buy it. Haven't really found a steady source of income yet. I just steal s***. Don't f****** judge me. I'm a vampire so stealing is the least of my problems. Freakin hell man. What is life? Was I such a downer when I was alive? Anyway I'm all over the place. The hunger. Right, the hunger...

I went without blood for a week. Christmas was coming up, people were jolly and s***. I was bummed that I'm dead now. Or undead whatever. I fed on some hipster in an internet cafe bathroom, and as I walked outside I just stopped and saw all the people walking, and the christmas decorations the town put along the street, the snow was falling, real holiday moment you know. It just hit me. I'm a f****** abomination. I just drank the blood from some dude just trying to email his family in the US whilst enjoying a mocha frap. You know, now I feel great. I'm warm, and happy, and that dude is so out of it he couldn't tell you his name if you asked him. Yeah I could have killed him, and I didn't, so pat on the back good vampire. You didn't kill him but you f****** fed on his blood. You bit him, you drank his blood and strolled out of the cafe with a smile on your face. When I got outside and saw all the holiday cheer, it just affected me. Can't really describe it. I was on cloud 9 because I just fed but I wanted to rip my fangs out. So I slinked off into the sewers. Said I'm done with blood. F*** it maybe I'll starve to death. I've never been addicted to anything serious, but I think I felt something infinitely worse to the worse withdrawal symptoms any human ever did. Christ I'm talking like us and them now aren't I. They are humans... anyway, I lasted a week, and the hunger I was talking about. It's real. It's alive. It kept me company and urged me to feed. I fought it as long as I could, freakin ********. Like I said, I can go a week. I don't even remember waking up on day seven. All the sudden there I was, feeding away. It was the caroler. Empty parking lot, no one around, just me and him. I noticed how drained he was. If I didn't come to when I did I would have killed him. I sealed the punctures and leaned him up against his car. Nice car, energy efficient, that kind of thing. I searched around for his keys, left him in his car. All the memories came back later that night. I saw myself wake up and run to the surface. I was quiet, stealthy. No one heard me, no one saw me. I gathered the shadows around me everywhere I went. I saw the carolers in the parking lot. They were going home. He was the straggler. As soon as the last of his group drove away I pounced. I commanded the shadows to darken the parking lot and bit into his neck as he faced his car to open it. He never saw me coming.

So yeah it's nice and quiet right now. I found a roof I like to chill on. I hid a lawn chair up here the other night. Apparently no one ever comes up here so that works for me. Got my feet propped up on the edge. Clear sky, moon's out. Kind of nice.