The Book of Eska

[Eska Morreau (DELETED 8550)]

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Sleep, child sleep,
close your eyes because the day is done
Here in my arms,
you will be safe
The dark things cannot get you now,
they lay far away in dark corners
Sleep, child where my love will reach,
where I can keep you safe and sound...

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I sing the same song to my niece every night. When I do, I mean every word that is spoken. She is still too young to understand the sacrifices I make for her, the consequences I must face to make sure she is happy.
I am glad to keep things that way.
Each day I set out with one goal in my mind. Revenge. It is the fire that fuels my every action, the poison that spurns me into action. Each time my conscious seems to take a little step back to try and understand my actions. I do not like overthinking things. It gives me a reason to doubt myself and be afraid. And fear is something I do not need. I have learnt a while ago that dwelling on the past is a special sort of paralysis all its own. It cripples you and forces you to admit that maybe, just maybe,you are not as invincible as you think you should be.
****
My name is Eska Morreau and I am a paladin.
Two years ago, I had no idea what the word meant. I existed in a safe world where I was blissfully ignorant of the evil around me. My life had a certain monotony about it, the promise that each day would be as uneventful as the one before it. I hated it back then. I longed for something, anything to happen to me in that vague way that most uneasy souls do.
I lived with my sister, Julie and her one year old daughter, Trinity in a cramped apartment above an antique store. Julie and I were identical twins in every sense. We finished each others sentences and because we had shared so much heartache, we were inseparable.
When we were fourteen years old, we came home one day to a dozen or so police cars parked in front of the bakery where we lived with our parents. I remember that day as clearly as if it were freeze framed in place. The weather was cold and wet and the whole world seemed to be holding its breath. We didn't have time to ask any questions when something, someone, was wheeled out in a dark body bag. I dragged Julie along with me and we broke through the police tapes that spider-webbed the entrance of the bakery.
"Mom? Mom?" My voice was as high as glass and just as fragile. There was just so much blood. It looked like an abbatoir where we stood. Blood painted the walls and counter in wet, warm streaks. The whole place reeked of death and I remember having to hold Julie because she was shaking so badly. We turned just as the gurney was being rolled into an ambulance car. We caught a glimpse of a piece of flowery material, yellow with violets in a repeating pattern.
"Mom..." I don't remember if I said it or Julie did. We both seemed to be thinking the same thing. A police officer with an ashen looking face came to us and asked a few questions.
Where were we when this happened? Did we see anyone leaving or entering the bakery as we were going to school? Did we know where our father was?
We had no answers to any of the questions. Our mother had been her usual ,cheery self when we left for school. No,we had not seen anyone. Our father was the biggest mystery of all. He had simply disappeared. We never saw him again after that day and Julie and I spent the tumultuous years of our adolescence being transferred from one foster home to the other.
When we were older, I simply blocked that part of my life out. I didn't feel the need to remember such pain but to Julie, it was the only thing she thought about. She fixated on what happened that day and constantly sought out answers were there none to be found. We got into a lot of fights because of this and even when neither of us mentioned it, I knew the stain of that memory seeped into our souls like poison.
For the most part, our mother's murder remained unsolved. I found out much later though, after I became a paladin, that a vampire had killed her. I hunted the ******** down and took an inhuman sense of pleasure in bringing him to the justice I knew he deserved.
I think about that first kill sometimes when I'm lying awake next to Trinity and I wonder if I had been right, justified in my actions. I have had seven kills since I chose my new path but none were as mindless or frenzied as that first one. It was a reawakening for me, a deep rooted contentment in knowing that just by playing my part, I could make the world exactly what I wanted it to be.
****
I have decided to document all my encounters here. I want to be able to remember them all, lucidly, knowing that I have done good in my efforts. I hope to shield my sweet child from the darkness that corrupted me for as long as I can.
The only question that nags me though, is will I?

[Eska Morreau (DELETED 8550)]

Finding the vampire who murdered my mother was a challenging feat.
Years after the case had been closed and I had promised myself I wouldn't look back, I did. I had planned my revenge for years, and unlike my sister, I had been silent about my intentions. The Grey Goose was one of the seedier clubs in downtown Harper Rock. Most of its patrons were vampires but a few humans could be found in it every now and then. I had watched the vampire for months, following him at discreet distances, noting his favorite hangouts and where he went after the sun had gone
Back then, I was fueled by my rage more than anything else. I didn't know why he had killed my mother but I knew certainly enough that I would kill him.
The Grey Goose was packed on the night I avenged my mother. I waited a full hour outside the club, trying to steady my shaking hands and my frayed nerves.
What if this didn't work? What was I thinking, i was dealing with a certified killer here. I had never killed anyone in my life, hell, I didn't even know how to shoot a gun, much less inflict pain using it. Every doubt filled my head right then. The more sensible part of my mind was telling me to go back home and forget about this. So what if he had killed my mother? Karma would happen someday and avenge her for me.
I didn't want to wait for karma though. Every day, I woke up with the same deep sense of profound loss, the feeling of knowing something has been taken away from you. Something you can never get back.
I got a hold of myself and marched straight into the club. I could see the mass of gyrating bodies shimmering and shifting under the strobe lights, moving in time to a fast, electric beat. I scanned the crowd but my man was nowhere to be seen.
I considered my options and decided it would be safer to sit at the bar until he either approached me or I caught sight of him.
"What will you be having, lass?" the bartender asked me. I knew straight away he was a vampire. He had strange violet irises that seemed to glow under the cheap fluorescent lighting that illuminated the set up behind him. He had an easy going smile and he seemed to be studying me more out of curiosity than anything else.
"Water," I said simply. I didn't trust myself to keep a level head if I started drinking and I remembered the main objective of my mission here was to stay alive The bartender chuckled and handed me a glass of iced water with a straw. I drank it down gratefully, studying the club as the man resumed polishing a row of glasses.
"Aren't you in the wrong place, lass? A pretty thing like you shouldn't be here hanging with the nasty crowd, should ya?" his voice was quiet and lilting, it sounded Scottish and when I looked back at him, he had set the glass he was wiping aside to look at me.
"I can take care of myself," was my curt reply. I didn't like what the vampire was doing. In a very subtle way, he was re-enforcing the doubt I already had in myself.
I didn't need that.
I can tell right off you're a nice girl. You know, some of the girls that come in here, the batty ones, they don't walk back out alive.
The bartender had said nothing out loud but I was shocked to hear him loud and clear in my head. If he could read my mind like I assumed he could, he already knew why I was here then. Was this his way of trying to protect me, by dissuading me from going ahead with my suicidal plan?
Where is he? I asked, using my mind too. The bartender was a telepath, which meant he could hear me just as well as I could him. He inclined his head to the left where a man and a woman were shielded by the shadows, the pair looking as if they were trying to maul each others faces off.
Simon comes here very often. He's got no qualms about what's right and what's wrong, ya know. You could leave now and still end up in one piece.
"No!" I said quietly, firmly, looking into the bartender's violet eyes. I could feel the pull there, if I looked any longer, he would have me crowing like a rooster if he so wished. I looked away. I was here to do this for my mother, I had to give myself the closure of knowing justice had been done.
I would go crazy otherwise.
****
It was cold outside. A slight wind had picked up and I gritted my teeth, scanning the dingy alley for the couple that exited the grey goose minutes before.
"Why have you been following me?" the voice was quiet, curious and it sent chills up my spine.
I whirled around, coming face to face with the one person I had spent the latter part of my teenage years obsessing over. He was of medium build, with slicked back hair and empty black embers for eyes. He radiated power, hatred and so many other emotions I couldn't understand.
"I'm here to kill you," I told him, matter of factly. My youth made me cocky and I underestimated the fact that this stranger could kill me before he even broke a sweat.
"Is that so?" the vampire, Simon, yawned, his jaw widening like a snake's to reveal teeth glistening with blood. "Let's make this quick, sweetheart. I haven't had dessert tonight already."
The first blow sent me flying backwards into a filthy dumpster, and I cracked my head against the lid. I could see stars but I struggled to my feet and gripped the gun that was clutched in my hand like some life preserver.
Simon hauled me roughly to my feet by my collar, his eyes level with mine. He wrapped a hand around my throat, bringing my face to his. He kissed me, his fangs digging viciously into my lower lip, a serpentine tongue darting hungrily over the wound.
I couldn't breathe but I remembered something from when I was young. Prayer had been a big part of my life as a child and my mother made sure we prayed at every given opportunity.
"The Lord...is my Shepard..." I began. I was losing oxygen fast and my brain scrabbled for anything to save me. Simon laughed, seemingly very amused by my efforts and his fingers loosened slightly around my throat.
"I shall not want..." I felt something heavy in my pocket. My stake! I pulled it out from my pocket, grateful I had remembered it.
"Please... I want to say something," I pleaded, my eyes brimming with tears. Simon regarded me with a cocky smirk, the rock hard notion that he would win this one.
I raised my stake, praying to God and nailing the ******** faster than he could move. He hissed in pain and fury, struggling against me and I raised my gun to his face, blowing out the back of his skull in one shaky motion. Blood and brain matter spattered across my face, fragments of his skull flying like some cheesy holiday cracker surprise.
I laughed then, a shaky sound that bubbled into a hysterical cackle until I regained control of myself.
That was my first kill. I knew I would be hungering for more in no time.

[Eska Morreau (DELETED 8550)]

I lead a double life.
By day, I play the perfect caretaker to my niece, plain old Aunty Eska who reads stories to Trinity and kisses her goodbye at the child minder's home. By night though, I am transformed. Harper Rock has changed little since I've been gone. The only noticeable differences are the new bars that have opened up all over town and the fact that I now know of the existence of vampires.
Since my first kill, I've spent my days hunting down any and all information I can find on vampires. It is a frustrating and rewarding task. Each day I learn something new and at the same time I am stumped at each stage of my efforts. Harper Rock has always been home and to know that these beings live free and unchallenged among us scares me. The order of the paladin is scattered all over the city and it seems like there are so few of us.
Each night when I perch myself atop the city's numerous rooftops, I spend my time watching, observing everything that goes on below in the darkened corners and hidden alleyways. On these nightly excursions, I sit with my knees to my chest and rehearse everything I know in my head. I remember fighting techniques and the different ways to kill a vampire. I know there wil be a change soon, a sort of shifting in the way people in the city see things. I know I should be grateful for the general sense of ignorance. The few vampires I've been chanced to cross paths with are not the sort of creatures normal humans would like to see or meet.
I have one prized possession. My Needle Lily. The sword is an ancient Japanese katana I received from a strange woman after my turning. I have used my sword to end the life of six vampires. Saying that to myself makes me realize just how far I am from the girl I once was. The innocent one whose views of the world were tormented yet unblemished too.
Sometimes, I think about it all and I grow so weary. What if this never ends? What if I die fighting for a cause that was lost before it even began?
I shut those thoughts in the back of my head, seeking refuge in the hard, cold solace of a sword whose purpose is everything to me and a world whose future I believe in...