Good and Evil [Langdell]

[Jesse Fforde]

* Jesse Fforde had been spending a lot of time with Clover. It was as if getting bound on a whim had revived their relationship even when no revival was required; where they'd spent a lot of time together before, now, it was like they couldn't stay apart. Though Jesse did break away in order to work, and Clover to do whatever it was that Clover did - and Jesse knew that he was being remiss. He knew that he had only just sired, and it was unlike him to leave the new childe alone so quickly. A lot had happened, though. Honestly, Jesse wasn't optimistic that Langdell would last, so why bother? Except, the guilt had slowly begun to build. Langdell was still there - Jesse had seen him, around Limbo. It was time to seek him out. To make up for lost time. He dressed and stepped out of the apartment and into Limbo's main space, bright eyes scouring the place. First, he would search here. Then upstairs. He hoped that Langdell was here - did the guy even carry a phone?

* Langdell was there, and had been for several hours that night. He waited to see Esperanza. She was the only one he'd become close with, or at least had had the majority of his conversation. He promised to make her a necklace out of an emerald he found, but hadn't had much luck with its creation. There, in the main space, he sat on the floor. He had a chain. He had the jewel. But he had no way to combine the two as a gift for her. Suddenly, he looked up and caught sight of Jesse. Langdell ducked down. He didn't want to be in trouble for something, anything, not that he had done much, if any, evils. He fed. He came home. It was simple life.

* Jesse Fforde didn't take long to find the guy. He was sitting in the floor; Jesse didn't know what Langdell was doing, but he figured the best way to find out was to ask. Nor did he miss the way Langdell ducked, as if Jesse were only there to throw a shoe or crack a whip. Which amused Jesse - Langdell hadn't been witness to many - or any - of Jesse's tempestuous outbursts. Jesse snagged one of the beanbags on the way past, and dumped it near Langdell, only to throw himself into the it. "Langdell," he greeted. "Sorry I haven't been around much. How's things?"

* Langdell mumbled, "They've been fine." He kept his eyes down. Jesse hadn't done anything to cause Langdell to feel intimidated, and yet he did. Maybe it was because the man had been the only one to ever "hurt" him, AKA the turning. But then again, he'd been nervous around the women, too. It had remained a difficult concept for him to realize he, too, was vampire like they were. And not a human, fearing them.

* Jesse Fforde nodded, even while he laughed. It was a low laugh, which soon grew into something a little more robust. Would Jesse have turned this guy, if he'd known just how he was going to tun out? But he supposed timid submissiveness was better than a flighty attitude. It was different. It was a calm that the family needed - and yet, Langdell didn't have to be so afraid. "I'm not going to hurt you, man. You don't have to be afraid of me," he said, reaching over to lightly nudge Langdell's shoulder with a closed fist.

* Langdell looked up at him finally. "You did bite me. I'm honestly not sure what to expect." He rubbed at his neck. "Not that you can really do that again, I guess. I don't think I can be turned twice."

* Jesse Fforde smirked, even as his tongue swiped over the grooves of his own front teeth. They weren't so sharp, now, but it would take only the slightest suggestion of blood to bring the canines to the fore, to bring that insatiable hunger into focus. "I was going to kill you, you know," he said. "People tend to remember, when I feed on them, which isn't good. So they end up dead," he added. It probably wasn't helping his cause, but he was getting to the point. It was a good thing! "But you're here instead. Alive. Because I changed my mind at the last minute. Would you prefer to be dead?"

* Langdell grimaced. Now he felt like a mistake. "No, I don't want to be dead. I'd rather be a vampire than dead, even if I'm not a scary, monstrous-type guy. Maybe that will change with time."

* Jesse Fforde laughed and shook his head. "No. It doesn't have to change, and you don't have to be a monster to be a vampire. That's just a myth," Jesse said. He settled in, chewing at the inside of his lip before deciding to continue - to explain, fully. "One of my other progeny killed himself in that week that you were sick. I'd only just started to mend bridges, but I realised I hadn't achieved anything. I had a goal for this bloodline - I wanted a cohesive unit, like a family. I wanted a family," he admitted, though he did so as if he were delivering a lecture, a slab of cold facts. He'd distanced himself from the loss. "We're an eccentric group, though. There's no real glue holding everyone together. The point, I suppose - so many of them have attitudes, and are bloodthirsty, in their own ways. You don't have to be a monster. Because you could be what we need. As you are."

* Langdell stared straight-on as the mother man spoke. Langdell was attentive to his words, and frowned. Someone had mentioned a man killing himself, and he had sat with her, comforting her. He even gave her one of the emeralds he found to cheer her up, at least briefly, knowing a gift could never really repair the damage done. "How could I help? I'm new. I'm not close to anyone yet. We don't know if anyone will ever even like me. I might be too strange."

* Jesse Fforde laughed again. "Strange. You'll fit right in," he said. He thought of Marian, then - the albino woman who seemed to have no feelings at all. About anything. They were all a little strange, if not twisted. "What I mean, is that we're not very balanced. I suppose I don't really know what I mean, except that you're different. Better, even, if black and white scales of good and evil are taken into account. You just... I mean, no one's going to hurt you. Or if they do, you'll heal. You don't have to cower..."

* Langdell looked down at his stomach. He thought of when a human shot him for trying to feed. He'd been shot again recently in his attempts, that time in the shoulder. Both wounds already were healed. "I'm not cowering. I'm only nervous. Everything's so different than home. Wouldn't you feel nervous, too?"

* Jesse Fforde nodded. "Okay. Not cowering," he said with a shrug. He tried to put himself in Langdell's shoes - coming from some closed-off community away from the world, finding the world itself foreign, let alone being thrown into it as a vampire. It probably would be overwhelming. "Sure, I suppose. Given the same circumstances," Jesse said. Though, he'd never had a nervous temperament. He was too proud to be nervous. "Given time, you'll get used to it. Take your time. I'll try not to be as absent as I have been. I had to get **** straight in my head..."

* Langdell shook his head. "It isn't your fault.You have a lot on your plate, I'm sure. Especially with the ... suicide, that happened." He had the worst timing, it seemed. "Death takes time to come to terms with. You only have to think, at least they're with God now."

* Jesse Fforde laughed. It was a loud, bitter sound, before Jesse shook his head. "No, Victor is not with God. He's in the Shadow Realm. The Shadow Realm is where we go when we die - he just didn't have the willpower or the strength to resist, and to come back. He's stuck there. There is no God in the Shadow Realm. It's just shadows, and darkness, and silence. Sometimes there's screaming, sometimes voices that you can't really understand. It's the furthest thing from heaven that you could possibly imagine."

* Langdell diverted his eyes again. "Hell, then. I'm sorry that he's there, of all places. Perhaps ... with prayer, forgiveness ... " He lifted his eyes again. "You said we. ... Because we're vampires, we all go there when we die?"

[Langdell (DELETED 8312)]

* Jesse Fforde nodded. "As far as I'm aware. You should know, Langdell, before we go any further - I'm not a religious man. Never have been. I don't believe prayers save anyone from anything," he said, trying his best not to laugh at the notion, or at the other man's beliefs. "And I'll walk away if you try to preach at me. Just don't even think about it."

* Langdell shook his head. "I -- I won't preach at you, or at anyone. I know what my beliefs are, but I won't ... push them upon anyone else. ... But are we cursed? Like demons? I had thought being a vampire was a gift, but now -- with this talk of Hell -- I'm starting to doubt it."

* Jesse Fforde shook his head. "I don't believe in demons, either. I don't believe that's what we are. I don't believe the Shadow Realm is hell, I think it's a kind of purgatory. A non-place. We're not demons, but there's something magical about us, which ties us to that place and we can only come back because of the rift, here in Harper Rock. The veil is thin here. I know that if, for example, you were to travel to America, or Europe, or whatever, and you died? There'd be no coming back. And I don't know what would happen to you then. I don't know whether those trapped in the Realm are just husks, or whether the rest of them moves on somewhere...." he stopped, shook his head. "But, hey. Don't think about it. Just don't die, okay?"

* Langdell stared at him as he talked. The more he said, the more worried, and nervous, he became. It was questioning everything he believed in, and had since childhood. "I never want to go there," he said. "I don't plan on dying. I don't want to die. I want to be alive ... and not in ... purgatory."

* Jesse Fforde grinned. "Okay, good. You seem to be unable to piss people off, so that's a good start," he said, before he backtracked, focusing on a different aspect of the conversation. A good aspect. "You think being a vampire is a gift?" Jesse asked. He asked the question in present tense - he wouldn't allow Langdell to change his mind given Jesse's own pessimistic views. Because regardless of those pessimistic views, Jesse thought being a vampire was a gift, too.

* Langdell shrugged. "I ... assumed so," he said. "What with the idea of powers, and all these abilities. Being able to do things, like no human being can. Even having to drink blood, ... It's not pleasant, but in exchange for powers? And being able to drink from blood bags, instead of off people? I couldn't imagine it being anything but a gift to be what we are."

* Jesse Fforde grinned some more. "Good. I'm glad," he said. It was always a risk when siring someone on a whim - forcing them into this life. Jesse did it, of course, because he thought he was giving a gift. It confused him, when people didn't want it. When they railed against it. When they hated him for it. "I agree. See, so you have to change your tune. Yeah, I bit you. But I gave you a gift, see? I didn't hurt you. I set you free."

* Langdell | "Free," he said. "Free from what? My humanity? Or my life before?"

* Jesse Fforde shrugged. "Humanity, I suppose. It has its boundaries. You said it yourself - the abilities we gain, the power - it's beyond what humanity can offer."

‹Langdell› "Will I ever see my family again?"

* Jesse Fforde narrowed his eyes as he thought about it. "Probably not a good idea. Why'd you leave them?" Jesse asked. He would try again. He'd keep asking the questions until Langdell caved, and opened up. Shared.

* Langdell messed with his sleeve to avoid looking at him. "I did something terrible. I didn't have a choice."

* Jesse Fforde continued to stare, even if Langdell tried to avoid it. "Terrible? Like what?"

* Langdell couldn't lie. "I killed someone."

* Jesse Fforde had to try to keep a straight face. "I'm sorry. I should take that more seriously. It's a serious thing. Yes, okay, who'd you kill? Why?" he asked. He was curious.

* Langdell frowned. "My father. I know that must be ... like nothing here. I'm sure vampires kill a lot of people. But I never had before."

* Jesse Fforde laughed, softly this time. "Nah. I mean... there are plenty who don't agree with it, but there are plenty who think they've evolved and taken a step up in the food chain," he said. Jesse was the latter. "Family is different, though. Was it an accident?"

* Langdell stood up. "No. It was no accident."

* Jesse Fforde remained seated. Maybe he was pushing too hard. He threw up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to talk about it."

* Langdell crossed his arms across his chest. "I don't feel bad about it. He deserved it."

* Jesse Fforde nodded, slowly. "What did he do?"

* Langdell took a minute to reply. He looked somewhere else. He thought over the wording of his answer. He didn't want to answer, didn't want to say it out loud. But he did, anyway. Langdell said, "He touched my older sister. No one would do anything about it. He prayed, and all was forgiven, they said. She moved away because of it. Then he tried to do it again, to my little sister. So I killed him."

* Jesse Fforde looked impassive, but there was a sour taste in his mouth. Jesse would have killed him, too. Jesse had killed his Uncle, but it wasn't exactly on par. "Were you seen, killing him? Did you leave evidence? Your sister - your mother - would they forgive you for it?"

* Langdell looked evenly at him. "Isn't running away evidence enough?"

* Jesse Fforde conceded with half a nod, but arched a brow. "You were worried about seeing your family again, though. Would they want to see you again? That's the point I'm trying to reach. If they found out what you'd become, would there be a witch hunt?"

* Langdell thought it over. "It's always possible," he said. "They don't like to leave the community, though. I thought maybe I could write a letter. Explaining what happened."

* Jesse Fforde shifted, ever so slightly, in the bean bag. The only problem with bean bags was once you were in them, it was harder to get out of them. "I think that's a good idea. I mean, to explain what happened to your father. I wouldn't recommend telling them you're a vampire, now..."

* Langdell laughed. "No, I don't think they'd believe it. I mean, we believe in many things other people don't. But vampires is even outside the realm of what we'd-- they'd-- believe."

* Jesse Fforde finally did manage to push himself up and out of the bean bag, standing alongside Langdell. Whether it was emotion that forced the other man to move, or whether he had things he wanted to do, Jesse didn't know. But it felt odd sitting, while the other was standing. "Good. So what have you been doing?" Jesse asked, eyeing the emerald and its chain. "Crafting?"

* Langdell looked down at the discarded project. "Trying," he said. "I wanted to make Esperanza a gift. I told her I would. But I'm not any good at it. She's been very kind to me since I've been here, so I thought I'd repay the favor."

* Jesse Fforde looked down at the discarded object, too. "I wish I could help, but that kind of thing is over my head. Clover might be able to help? I think she focuses more on building guns than forging metals but they can't be too dissimilar, right?"

* Langdell gathered the supplies off the floor. "I'll look for her tomorrow."

* Jesse Fforde smiled, and gave Langdell a slap on the shoulder. "Okay. I'll tell her you're looking," he said, before glancing down at his watch. "I'll ah... I'll go tell her right now. Talk soon, yeah?"

* Langdell looked to him. "I hope by soon you really mean soon."

* Jesse Fforde winked. "Sure," he said. And he did mean it. He'd skived on his duties long enough. And there were still things that needed talking about. For now, however, Jesse left Langdell to his business, and went to find Clover.