One Step at a Time [Lancaster]

[Shadis (DELETED 7818)]

‹Shadis› The woman sighed as she entered the bar, a place that she hadn't frequented much since her involvement with Trahir. However, she did have her thrall stop by on the occasion to make sure that Elliot hadn't fallen back into a bottle once more. However, she was more at risk of falling into a bottle, if such a thing could ever happen. No matter how much she drank, the woman just didn't seem to be able to get drunk, no matter how much she wanted to. An lately? She wished she had a weakness to the toxins just like her sire, even though that probably wasn't possible or likely to even happen. Slowly, she moved to seat herself down upon a bar stool at the end of the bar and sighed, "A glass of scotch, leave the bottle please," the fledgling said as she leaned her forearms upon the bar. There was just something about coming back to Lancaster's something that allowed her to relax just that little bit.

‹Lancaster dArtois› Lancaster hadn't fall into anything except a stronger work ethic, if that was even possible. If he wasn't at work he was out in the city somewhere, helping with some charity or other. There were plenty around, and there was a lack of volunteers. Although he'd started to find his inspiration again, although the music was coming back to him, he didn't push it - he didn't get frustrated when the songs didn't form. They would sit, and he would percolate, and eventually, they would become whole. The stage wasn't graced with his presence as much as it used to be, but at least he'd gone back to it. Now? He was just working. Regular work, behind the bar. When Shadis sat down and made her order, Lancaster overheard; he sauntered over, taking over the order. A glass of scotch. He left the bottle. "Isn't this what you ordered the first time we met?" he asked, nodding to the bottle of alcohol.

‹Shadis› She lifted her gaze to view her sire that had seemingly taken over her order and she hadn't even noticed till he spoke. In fact, she hadn't noticed him behind the bar until then and a simple smile found its way to her lips as she reached forwards to take the bottle and poured the amber liquid into her glass. "Why yes, yes it is. Although the difference between then and now, is the simply fact that I could get drunk back then, but I simply cannot now. No matter how much I try." Slowly, she placed the bottle back upon the bar and lifted her glass as she smiled at her sire, the one that had saved her life back then. As a result of that suicide attempt however, she had a healthy dose of fear towards death. Lately it plague her waking mind and she welcomed the sleep that came when the sun rose and brighten the sky. "How have you been Lancaster? It feels as if we haven't spoken in so long." Which was true enough. Ever since Trahir, she basically had lost contact with everyone.

‹Lancaster dArtois› The last time Shadis had ordered a whole bottle of Scotch with the intention of getting drunk, the consequences had been dire. Last time, Lancaster had let her go and left her to her own devices. This time, he wouldn't be letting her go. He turned only to tell Samantha that he was taking a break, before he pulled the towel from his shoulder and tossed it to the sink. "I'm fine," he said. Not great, but not bad. Fine, in this instance, wasn't a social nicety. It was the truth. "Let's go sit somewhere else, yeah? We'll talk..." he said, gesturing to one of the numerous empty booths out in the main section of the bar.

‹Shadis› The fledgling watched with brown hues as Lancaster turned to to toss the towl into the sink and told Samantha, a bar tender that she knew due to one of her many frequent visits to the bar, that he was taking a break. There were words that settled upon her tongue, ones that said that he didn't have to take time away from his bar for her, ones that said that she could handle it. However, the real question was, could she truly handle it? There was a darkness that was settling within her own mind and it unsettled her. Finally, she rose, with glass in hand and paused long enough to snag the bottle from the top of the bar. Shadis moved over to the darkest booth and slid in, preferring that things remained between her and Lancaster if she ever did talk. Pride wanted nothing more that to just simply walk. Once she had place the bottle upon the table and she took a sip of her drink, a sigh parted her lips. "To be honest, Lancaster, my sire, I don't know if you could help at the moment." She said softly as she looked to him.

‹Lancaster dArtois› The booth was dark and it was far from the crowd. Lancaster was not as hands on as some sires - his childer were independent creatures, and he took no offence when they left the nest. He helped them to gain their feet, and remained a steady presence for when they needed help, if they needed help. The mature ones were not bitter about it; like Shadis, who seemed unconcerned about Lancaster's strong work ethic. But, his childer were more important than the bar - especially when the bar itself was thriving. It wasn't going to fall down if he took a couple of hours away from it. "I can try to help. And even if I can't, it's better to have someone to talk to, right? Moral support. A shoulder to cry on. That kind of thing. So, spill," he said, leaning forward, his elbows on the table and his fingers steeped in front of him.

‹Shadis› A sigh found its way to her lips as she lifted the glass to her lips to finish it off, so the woman sat it down upon the table, only to pour herself another. If only wishes came true, she thought to herself as she looked to Lancaster. "I played a dangerous game and I lost. I fell into the trap, got lured in as I got so wrapped up in it all. I didn't realize the dark path I was going down until I was seen feeding and it was kill or let her expose me for what I am." A shake of her head as given as she lifted the drink to her lips and took a sip. "I couldn't for the life of me, kill her. All because of my own fear of death." Her lips pursed as she began to realize that everything was all so mixed up. Shadis had begun at the start and jumped to the middle, skipping over Trahir. A fact which was so important, that she had to Lancaster. "I got involved with another vampire... He feels nothing and I feel all. I feel the darkness that has begun to seep into my mind and heart and I have begun to wonder if I'm loosing myself. I'm slipping and one day, I feel as if I could kill someone because of this darkness. That's when I begin to wonder, what will happen when I do eventually kill someone?"

‹Shadis› Her tone of voice had dropped to tones that were barely above a whisper as her brown hues stared intently into her glass of scotch as if it could tell her the future.

‹Lancaster dArtois› Lancaster frowned. The story sounded familiar; he'd seen it happen before - and the situation was familiar, too. "You're smarter than I was. Smarter than I am - you can see what's happening. I never did. I got stuck, and I did... so much that I regret. You haven't done anything you regret, yet," he said. This was a good thing. She seemed so certain that she would, but Lancaster knew it was something that she herself could control. She just needed the willpower. "If you kill someone - if, Shadis, not when - the guilt will consume you. It'll drag you under, and you'll drown," he said. He sighed, and leaned back, pushing his hands through his hair. "Skylar - you never met her - fell for someone like you're describing. That man I kicked out of the bar - you met him - and she... well she's not around anymore. I will always believe it was his fault. But, she accepted it. The darkness. She didn't fight it. In the end, it's all completely up to you."

‹Shadis› Slowly, she placed her glass back down upon the table as she looked up at her sire and remembered the man that he spoke about. The one that had been kicked out of the bar after he had lashed out at them with shadows. She could still feel the pain of the memory as it went through her chest and had barely missed her heart. It was something that she could never forget, as her blood had flowed freely to spill upon the floor that customers walked upon. "I never thought that I would fall for someone similar to him," Shadis finally admitted as her brown gaze searched Lancaster's face. "But I did and in the end, it won't even matter. He will move on and I will be left behind, like normal. I feel the darkness most strongly whenever I linger in his presence, as every night we go to bed together. His hands grip me so tightly, I break under him every night. I don't know why, I just do."

‹Shadis› The fledgling licked her lips as she turned her gaze away from Lancaster and back to her drink. "I remember, at Voodoo, he had gone mad crazy and he turned to what I assume was a friend. Someone who he let into his mind to assess him. She said, that whatever he considers his, he will get very territorial over. He had only gone crazy in the first place because another male vampire had dared to wave a finger in jest at me."

‹Lancaster dArtois› "These are the choices you have to make," Lancaster said. He couldn't tell Shadis what she should do, or what she shouldn't. No, he didn't want to see her involved with someone who could hurt her, or turn her into some violent, bloodthirsty monster. Everyone was so keen on violence and Lancaster had quit trying to stop it from strangling them. There was nothing he could do, and he knew what the struggle was like. "If you are afraid of becoming something you don't want to be, then distance yourself from him. Or, be strong, and pull him out of the darkness," he said.

[Lancaster]

‹Lancaster dArtois› "I know what it's like. I struggle with the darkness. It's a never-ending war. I'm constantly afraid of what I am, and what I know I'm capable of. I've killed things. I've killed people. I've enjoyed it, but I don't give in. Pi - she was darker than she is now. I am darker than I was. We reached an accord - we balance each other out. Don't sacrifice your whole self to him, that's all I can recommend. Don't give all of you," he said, pointing to Shadis's chest, to the pure core of her, "Without demanding he give something in return."

‹Shadis› Silently she looked up to listen to Lancaster's words and she angled her head downwards just slightly as she took in his words of advice. Would Trahir even give something in return? Was it already too late to demand anything at all? Pi and Lancaster, they had worked it out, found a middle ground. Had she and Trahir already found one and she didn't even realize it? Or did she hope that they had found one, just so then she could put off the problem for one more day. A sigh caressed her lips as a finger slid along the rim of the glass before her, before she bit her bottom lip where blood welled. Silently, without even thinking, her tongue darted out to lick her lips, tasting the coppery liquid which still made her feel ill. At least she didn't vomit it back up this time. "I tasted his blood because he had a bleeding lip," Shadis finally admitted. "For some reason, I saw a couple of his memories and because of that, he confessed, he would kill me before he ever let me walk." The question was, did she even want to walk?

‹Lancaster dArtois› Well, that one was new. Lancaster had never heard of anyone reading anyone else's memories through their blood - it was fascinating. But it was probably not the time to inquire as to how, or what. "My honest opinion? The things you're telling me, I don't like him. He sounds like a brute who'd keep you in chains, and you don't deserve that. You are a strong woman, a smart woman, and you should have your independence. You can't let a man walk all over you," he said. If he didn't say it, he'd regret it - and he also had that little problem with honesty. He couldn't be anything but. He reached out to take Shadis's hand, to curl his long fingers around hers, to squeeze reassuringly. "If you want to walk, you can walk. You walk straight over here to me. To kill you, he'd have to come through me. I might look weak, Shadis, but I'm not. He'd die before he could lay a finger on you," he said. Of that, he could be confident - mostly so, anyway.

‹Shadis› Nodded her head at his words when he spoke of Trahir sounding like a brute. He was a brute, this much she could say. A brute who was brutal in every aspects. Out of the two, she was the most diplomatic and it had been something of her word that helped smooth a couple of things over with a human. Shadis felt his fingers curl around her free hand and it was a simple touch that she had missed so much. A touch of comfort, a touch that spoke of having her back and being there for when she needed it the most. Perhaps this was the reason why she kept coming back to Lancaster's when everything seemed dark, because Lancaster was here to pull her back from the edge that she teethered upon. Lancaster had the ability to bring her back every time whenever she felt that she was going to fall over into the pit of darkness. He was able to bring her back whenever she felt as if she was going to drown in her own fear. Brown hues peered into his face then as she softly whispered to him, "Thank you Lancaster. You always manage to shine a light into the darkness that threatens to overwhelm me."

‹Lancaster dArtois› Lancaster peered at Shadis; a long, hard stare, as if he were trying to crack through her skull and get at what was going on underneath. The habit was there, to blame himself; if he hadn't been so caught up in his own depression, he could have spent more time with Shadis, and he could have nipped this unhealthy relationship in the bud before it even happened. But that was going too far. If it was what Shadis wanted, then it was what it was what she wanted. "I mean it though. Keep me in the loop. And be strong. Put your foot down. Don't do anything you don't want to do. I've been there, in the darkness. It's overwhelmed me before. It's not fun. And it's nearly impossible to pull out of. If there's anything I can do to help keep it from happening, then I will," he said.

‹Shadis› Shadis watched him peer into her face and she wondered if he thought that she lied, if he thought that some part of her story was false. However, perhaps there was something else that he wanted to know, or something else that he wanted to say and he did, he spoke again. A shake of her head was given then and she knew that she had to straighten her spine, to stand tall against Trahir more often. "Just... Just keep me from falling over into that pit, Lancaster, please? No matter what happens, at least I know that I can come here even if it is for a few hours just to rest without having to worry about the darkness for a time. It gets... Tiring, fighting off the darkness at every turn."

‹Lancaster dArtois› Lancaster nodded. "I know. But you can fight it off. It's easier with help," he said. He probably never would have succeeded if he hadn't had help; if it hadn't been for Pi, in the beginning, making sacrifices of her own because she could see what was making Lancaster unhappy. And recently, it had been Shadis and Charlotte who'd helped him out, whether they realised it or not. The two of them, plus a revealing conversation with an old acquaintance, and he was almost right as rain. Almost. He could never be perfect. Skylar had never asked Lancaster to keep her from falling, and yet he had still tried. He didn't know Skylar wanted to fall. Now that he knew that Shadis didn't want to, he was determined. "I won't. Perhaps you should introduce this man of yours to me, though. So I can get a feel for what I'm contending with," Lancaster said. He never did understand what the allure was; why women were attracted to the brutes, to violence, to the unfeeling. Did they want to be the ones to fix them? Was it the challenge? It didn't matter, really. Lancaster could do nothing but offer his support.

‹Shadis› The woman paused for a moment as she pondered his words and knew that it was true. Her sire had constantly proved that he would be there whenever she needed him to be and he was. He had also given her space, a lot of it to be an independent being. Another factor that she was grateful of. It was the reason, that although she had enthralled her human, she encouraged the human to have a life of her own still. To Shadis, she wasn't a slave, but a friend that she could rely upon to help her out whenever she needed to, to do things that she wanted without questioning the reasoning behind it. A simple smile caressed her lips as her hand gently squeezed Lancaster's, "Perhaps I will introduce you to him, if I can get him to come along. However, I would imagine that he would very much like to speak to you, as he is always asking as to why you let me to roam freely on my own."

‹Lancaster dArtois› The Australian couldn't help but laugh. "What would the alternative be? I'm not your father," he said. He could only assume it was a joke. "You're an adult. I helped you find your feet, and you're mature enough to find me if you need help. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate some stranger demanding to know your every movement," he said with a low laugh. Yes, surely it had to be a joke. Lancaster had lived all his adult life alone, travelling the world, with freedom to come and go and do whatever the hell he wanted. Given his own freedoms, chaining other people to his whim had never really occurred to him. "Because you know, in the end, I can only teach you so much. This life is different for everyone. There are certain things you have to figure out on your own - certain mistakes everyone has to make in order to learn their own lessons," he said. Everyone was different.

‹Shadis› She chuckled and wished that she had been kidding, before she perked a brow. "Oh I'm not kidding. He thinks that to be a sire means that one has to keep a close eye upon their childer so then they don't break the Masquerade. Teach them absolutely everything as fledglings before letting them go about their own way. It's strange really." Shadis said simply as she lifted the glass to finish it off. "Well, then, I best be on my way before sunrise. I have enjoyed this talk my dear sire. Much more than you realize."

‹Lancaster dArtois› Lancaster laughed again. "That's so cold. My philosophy is to teach them everything they need to know so they struggle as little as possible. To lessen their grief, to keep them from harm," he said, and then swallowed, his arms crossed over his chest. She was probably right - Lancaster had probably been remiss in some things, things that he hadn't realised. He'd sit there and finish off that bottle of Scotch - would dissect Shadis's words, wondering if he had let her down. If she had said something, or done something to make this man think Lancaster lacked as a sire. On the surface, he just nodded. "I'm always here," he said.

‹Shadis› Shadis smiled at him and lifted a hand to press to his shoulder as she rose. "Cold works for some, but your comfort works for me. You have guided me well and you still continue to do so whenever I reach out. I appreciate it so much. It has given me much and it has helped me to resist the darkness thus far." The woman nodded her head then, "Good evening Lancaster, hopefully I'll see you soon enough." She said as she moved to leave the bar.