Bleach [Marian Merchant]

[Jesse Fforde]

Jesse wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Marian talk so much. He hadn’t spent much time with the albino – now, it seemed, they were both making up for it. The deluge of her speech amused Jesse, his eyes gleaming with it even as he shifted to appease an ache that had started up in his ribs due to his bad posture. If Clover had wanted a lasting wound that never ceased to cause irritation, she had done a damned fine job of it. He could have healed it, but he wouldn’t. The wounds were like a gift. If he healed them, it’d be like throwing them in the trash. He wouldn’t do that to Clover.

”Just… relax a little bit, yeah? You’re making it sound as if we’re in some kind of business meeting. We’re really not,” he said, teasing. He wondered if he still came across as some kind of wounded animal; as someone who needed constant reassurance. Three months ago, Marian’s monologue might have either boosted Jesse’s spirits, or he’d have spat venom in response. Now, he knew that he had given all that he could to the progeny that he had created. He knew he had done his job. He provided them with somewhere safe to stay; he answered their questions and taught them what to do and what not to do. He gave them weapons, and tried his best to provide for them.

If they decided, after the fact, that it wasn’t enough – they were selfish. And spoilt. And Jesse would laugh at them, tell them to grow the **** up. He couldn’t coddle them all. Nor could he be expected to be the only one to reach out. He had at least twenty people he’d have to reach out to, whereas they all had only the one. As far as he was concerned, anyway. He had better things to do than to check in on them all every second of every day. Every now and again? Sure. But they weren’t toddlers that needed constant attention. They were adults who could take care of themselves.

”You don’t really have to replenish with spirits afterwards. At least, I find I could heal myself every evening and never have to seek more spiritual energy,” he said with a shrug. Did Marian find it harder than he did, or did she use her energy on other things as well? He figured he’d eventually find out.

”And as for progeny – if you find you end up with one that you do want to keep, be it accidental or on purpose, you know I’d provide for them just as I have for you, right? Keep that in mind. But – please go on. What are these goals that you have? What are the things you’re trying to check off your list?” he asked. He was curious. And of course, if he could help, he would.

[Marian Merchant]

Posture relaxing only slightly, Marian's rigid look softened, casting almost a glimpse of the Marian from before the turning, before it took its toll on her, both physically and emotionally. The man asked her to relax, and so she did, though she was not very accustomed to relaxing. Usually, Marian only relaxed in one instance, when she was asleep. Usually, she was asleep in either two places, her apartment or the terminal in the 'lobby' of the complex. Always waking up in her bed, Marian never asked, never wondered, only knew that she was safe when home. She was accustomed to skirting around this safety, especially when she travelled into the ganglands to explore and make a few dollars before work. She had thought on what she could do for the family, usually, when she travelled, though she normally did not speak to the others except for Jesse and Clover, though mostly she conversed with Junebug.

"I do not need to, no, though I find myself burning through, healing others' blood, when I can, such as myself, Clover, or if you've realized it, at times yourself. I find myself devouring the spiritual energy as much as I do with the blood of the humans, which I find to be very taxing at times, especially when I wish to do one thing but my body craves fulfillment that never sates." Shaking her head, Marian leaned back into the couch, eyes closing for a moment. Adjusting the sit of her dress's collar, she looked to the man. "As for my checklists, my goals... I wish to provide for the Ffordes as much as I can, in the ways that I can. I have started to learn to better myself in thieving, and the trades that consign with this, as well as I am dabbling with electronic thieving as well, though I am not as skilled at hacking as I am with breaking and entering. I wish to find better parts, be they still within weapons, or just the parts, to assist those that craft the blades and firearms. I wish to provide healing to those that need it. Otherwise, I am unsure as to what I would be skilled at. With work, I pull in a moderate wage, which assists me in purchasing blood packs when needed, as well as ammunition."

Thinking more on herself, Marian looked to the white ceiling, staring at it. "If I were able to finish my education, I would do so, though I am unsure if my current predicament would warrant me to do so. Unless the college offers night classes or online courses. I still wish to finish my schooling, though I find myself in a position where I will need to give that up, and further myself in other means for the family's growth, which I can accept. A sacrifice to my personal growth, but I believe it may help me grow in other ways, perhaps more than I realize at this very moment. I had given up a thought for personal.. hm... I had thought to cast aside my needs, my desires, as they do not matter as a whole. I will not beg or plead for others to help me with my needs. I can do this on my own. I am no child. Perhaps one day I may seek things, though I do not find any real purpose in myself with the things I am able to seek."

[Jesse Fforde]

Jesse struggled to keep track of everything that Marian told him, though he watched and listened with a smile touching his lips. It was the most he had ever heard the Albino say, but he was happy that she was opening up to him; that she was talking to him, even though her tone still seemed clipped regardless of her obvious attempt to ‘relax’.

When she mentioned the ‘fulfilment that never sates’, his head cocked to the side; a slight, vague twitch as he stored that one away to ask about once she had finished speaking. He’d have to have been pretty daft if he hadn’t started to realise, by now, that there were particular perks that he seemed to pass on through the blood; there was one that near everyone in Fforde seemed to suffer, that those outside of the family did not – the inability to feed without being remembered. It was like a cosmic joke. Someone, out there, was laughing at him.

Was his insatiable thirst yet another trait that he inadvertently passed on? Did the traits pick and choose who they clung to? These were not questions he expected Marian to answer, but he could at least ask whether she was suffering the same insatiable thirst that he did. Then again, she’d be the only one of his progeny – that he knew of – that he’d passed it to.

Near the end, Jesse got a little confused with what Marian was trying to tell him.

”I don’t think I understand. You Find no real person in the things you are able to seek?” he asked, but then shook his head, not waiting for the answer. ”I’m almost certain they’d do online courses, or night courses. There were some art classes I did at the University with night time slots. People work, y’know? They need to do after-hours classes,” he said with a shrug.

”As for whether your study can help, in any way – that would depend on what it is. What is it that you came here to study? Breaking and entering is always helpful – even with rituals. If you find any oil, for example, it’s mighty useful. There are others in the family who can pick up the slack, though, if you want to study. Just because you are now a vampire doesn’t mean you have to dedicate your every waking hour to us,” he said, though he did so with much amusement. It made him proud, happy, to think that Marian’s checklists seemed only to do with how she might be able to help the family. It was what Jesse was aiming for – and Marian was starting to show him that his own goals were not unreachable.

”Long story short, though – we have eternity, and you’re still new. Ish. You’re allowed to take your time to find your feet. Your own comfort and happiness matters as much as the family’s,” he said. What kind of ‘family’ would they be, if they were all enslaved to particular jobs? It just wouldn’t work.