☼ Too Long Gone ☼ (Closed)

[Teagan (DELETED 7350)]

They'll know. I stare at the back of my wrist, the one holding Tay's. They'll know I'm different, by taste, even if I keep my tattoos covered. I'll have to be careful. Really careful. Though maybe my story won't be so hard to believe. Not if I'm willing to feed them. They'll know then. They'll have to know. I'm on their side. It should be obvious.
I ignore the voice in the back of my mind, the one that's telling me that they might kill me anyway for being what I am. They might take my blood and take my life. They may think I'm spy. That I'm collecting names. I'm not. I never would. But they don't know that.
I keep a hold of Tay's wrist for as long as he allows but once our food comes, it's really not practical. I don't want to let go. I don't want him that far away, but I have to eat. I want to eat. The smell of the food alone is my body react in ways that are embarrassing. or would be embarrassing if it wasn't Tay I was sitting with. I take a hold of my burger with both hands and take a small bite. I want to gorge myself on it but I've not had anything greasy in a while and am well aware of the fact that eating this could make me sick. I don't care though. I want it. They don't control me anymore and what I put in my body is my business. I just have to take my time.
I moan and close my eyes as I swallow that first bite. My god that tastes good. It's like coming home all over again. I open my eyes and smile at Tay. He has to know how satisfying this is. I know he knows. We've both gone hungry. We've both experienced this before. Only this time I'm not malnourished, I've just been kept on a diet that wasn't of my choosing.
"I want. She have a name?"
I put my burger down, wipe my hands on a paper napkin and take a sip of my root beer. Again. I can't stop my reaction to it. Eyes closed. Moaning softly. I had almost forgotten how good food could tastes. I pick up the salt and pepper post, one after the other, and shake the over my fries. I then pick up the ketchup bottle and squirt a puddle of it onto the edge of my plate for dipping my fries into.
I'm curious to meet the woman that's taught my brother so much. I'm not sure if I'll like her or not. That will depend on how she treats him and whether or not she tries to cut me out of his life. I won't stand for that. No-one can come between us. I won't allow it. I also wonder about the blood he drinks. If it's safe. if there's a chance he could end up a vampire, by accident. I saw an episode of Vampire Diaries once and I'm sure the way vampires were made in that was for a human to die after having ingested vampire blood. I don't ask Tay about that though. I'd sound stupid. I'm going to ask around though. Get the facts. There's so much to learn. Still. But that's life. There's always someone smarter than you. Someone more knowledgeable. Something else to learn. We can't all be expects in every field of study, there just isn't enough time for that. Unless your immortal perhaps, but none of the vampires I've ever met are older than a few years.
"Not sure how I feel about acidic blood, Tay?"
I wrinkle my nose in disgust before I pick my burger back up. My elbows rest on the table and I look over the food in my hands to my brother. I can't imagine having to drink disgusting tasting blood. Maybe I was better off a paladin. The tattoos hurt and I didn't like being touched but it's over and done with now. Well, that's not strictly true. The effects remain. But the process is over. For Tayden the process seems to be ongoing.
Oh God, what happens if he stops?

[Tayden (DELETED 7355)]

The food comes and I wait for my sister to make the first move on the food front. Would she want it? If she didn't want it and changed her mind, Tayden would too. He wasn't sure what she ate while Teagan was being held hostage, but he could only imagine the worse. Bread and water. Stale meat. Maybe he read something like that once in a book-in fact, Tayden was sure he had and somehow he was imagining it here. She didn't look gaunt or sickly, just thin and in shape. People who ate just bread and hunks of meat wouldn't look as healthy as his sister did now. Not that Tayden didn't think she could put on a couple of pounds.

"Help yourself." Tayden was a little hungry, but if she wanted to eat her food and his, he would gladly offer what he had to his sister. He even pushed his plate more towards the center of the table, indicating he would be fine with sharing with the woman across from him. "If you want some of my fries or something-grab 'em." He picks up a large, fat cut shaped fry and pops it in his mouth, deciding he would leave the burger alone for now because she might want that. He knew she was not going to have a problem finishing hers and might want some of his.

"Everyone has a name, Teagan." Tayden chuckled after finishing chewing, then nodded his head, grabbed a napkin, unfolded it and put it on his lap. "Her name is Anika. She's pretty nice, all things considered." Tayden informs his sister with a shrug of his shoulders before scooping up another fry and taking a bite out of it.

"You don't drink that blood." Tayden shook his head. "I've not come across it a lot-just once actually. But there was something definitely off about that guy's blood. I bet he did something stupid with the thousand dollars it cost me to get just a taste of it before he ran off while I was tossing up my dinner." Tayden wasn't angry over it anymore-vampires and people alike conned others, it was just how life was and the way the world worked. "Want some of this?" He asked while grabbing a knife and cutting his burger in half. "People will believe you. Believe us. Maybe not at first, but they will." He says, wanting to assure his sister. "Not that I think we should be in a hurry to make friends with everyone and their mom. I'm cool with keeping you to myself for a while. There's a lot we need to catch each other up on, I'm sure." He set the knife down on the table and picked up the half he wanted to eat and took a large bite of it. Burgers and him went together like burgers and fries-something Tayden's diet consisted of a lot.

[Teagan (DELETED 7350)]

“Eat Tay.”
I push his plate back towards him. I don’t want it. I’m not starving. Even if I was I wouldn’t take his share. It’s typical of him though. He’s always been like this. Even on the streets. He’d always try to feed me first. I always made sure we shared. It’s who we are. I smile at him briefly and shake my head. Some things never change.
Anika. She has a name. And instantly I’m picturing some long legged, blonde. The name sounds Russian though and Russians tend to have a darker complexion. At least I think they do. I’m not really sure. I’ve not met any Russians that I know of. I’ve only seen them in movies. I’m not sure what Tay means when he says ‘all things considered’ though. That part worries me. What do I need to consider? Is she a whore? A killer? That can’t be right. Can it? She must be a vampire. She’s that or a blood thief like Tay is. If she took him down this path, she’s one or the other. If she’s responsible ad things go wrong at least I’ll know who to blame. Which means I have to meet her. I have to know who she is.
I keep eating while he’s talking. This food is heaven. It’s not the best burger I’ve ever eaten but it’s a burger so it will do. It’s better than the healthy crap I’ve been force fed these last few months. It was eat it or starve. I’d of chosen starve if I didn’t need the energy to train so I could get the hell out of that underground nightmare.
I nod and swallow what I have in my mouth when Tay says we need to catch up. We do. We need to test each other. Make sure we know each other’s newfound skills. I’m no longer worried about us reconnecting. We seem fine. We seem normal. Well as normal as we ever were. Only improved in some ways. I hate thinking that. That they improved me. They changed me against my will. They took away my right to choose. Branded me. Destroyed another part of who I was. But still, I’m stronger now. Stronger and more powerful. They won’t get their hands on me again.
“I don’t make friends. You know that.”
He does know it too. That’s his job. Not mine. He’s more likeable than I am. At least I think he is. He seems to enjoy being around other people more than me, but maybe that’s just because people don’t scare him as much as they do me. He has no reason to fear them. If he fears them at all, he fears them for my sake. I’m pretty sure.

[Tayden (DELETED 7355)]

Tayden grins. He does know what his sister is like, but everyone needs at least one good friend. Not a brother. A friend that they can talk to about their brother. Tayden knows they're pretty close, but people complain about something someone did or said. It's just in human nature. He would never take anything Teagan said to much to heart, because everyone does it. People need to vent. Need to feel like they are in the right, even if they might be wrong. He doesn't care.

"Well, maybe you and Anika can be friends." He says with a shrug before grabbing some of the burger and devouring it. There's really nothing that's better on the face of the earth than a burger in his opinion. You get veggies on it, your bread, dairy and meat. It's pretty much an all around meal in Tayden's eyes. "She's been with me this whole ride, so she can't be all that bad." He chuckles and then shrugs. Anika is no angel, but she's far from a devil too. Everyone has something about them, right?

"Or maybe she has a friend or two that you might like. There's this guy named Mikal, I'm sure I'm saying it wrong. He says it with some sort of accent." Tayden shrugged his shoulders as he polished off the first half of the burger and wiped his hands on his napkin. "Or Angelica-Angel for short. She's pretty nice. Quiet and nice." He admitted for the first time to himself and her. Tayden never really judged ANika's friends, because he never gave them much thought until now. He only saw each friend, maybe once a month. "So, what are we doing after this?" Whatever his sister wanted to do, or go, he would take her or follow her. No way was she getting away from him twice.

[Teagan (DELETED 7350)]

I give Tayden a look over the burger I'm holding in my hands again. He has to be kidding. He wants me to make nice with his friend. Fair enough. He wants me to make her a friend? Well that's a little more tricky. I don't trust easy. If at all. I don't bond well with people. People let you down. They break you. I don't need that. I have Tay. I trust Tay. That's enough. For now. Though if I were to make a friend, they'd likely be female. I'm not good with men. I'm not good with women either but I fear them less. Men are generally stronger. Or they were before I was changed. Before I was altered. Women are catty. They talk behind your back. I hate that. You can't trust someone like that.
He starts naming other people and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I know what he's doing. He's not suggesting I make friends because he doesn't want me around, although my insecurities are trying to tell me otherwise. He's being Tay. He's being my big brother. Even if he's only older by a few minutes. He's looking after me. He thinks I need a friend. I'm not sure why, but that's what this is about, I'm sure. Thankfully, he quickly moves on from that subject, so I let it drop. My look said all I need to say, pigs will probably fly before I call someone a friend.
"Need to go home. Get keys cut."
I take another bite of my burger and swallow it down quickly as I realise he may need more than that. I also need to check he didn't move, or get evicted rather, while i was away. I can't see Tay having moved if he could help it. He'd know I'd go there if I came home. I'd do the same. If I lost him. I'd be where he could find me for when he came back.
"Lost my stuff. Keys. Wallet. Probably need a new job too."
I was almost certain I couldn't go back to work after going AWOL for several months. It's the sort of thing employers frown on. I get it. Besides, what could I say? Telling them I was kidnapped and held against my will would sound contrived. I doubt they'd believe me. Besides. I've had enough. Tay and I deserve better. I'm going to find a way to make that happen. Make us self-sufficient. I'm sure Tay would rather work with me, than work for someone else. Besides. I'd need someone I can trust to help me and as I keep saying, I don't trust anyone else.

[Tayden (DELETED 7355)]

She doesn't reply to his suggestion, but Tayden doesn't think anything about it. Teagan had just gotten out of a crummy situation, so he wasn't going to push his sister to do anything she didn't want to do when she wasn't ready. She mentions home and he frowns. He hasn't lived in that same place for a while now. It was never the same without her and every day he woke up without his sister around only made him hate himself more. Because he was inept.

"The apartment isn't ours anymore." He said after dragging a fry through some ketchup and taking a drink of his soda. "I moved out about two months later. Didn't like being alone there. Not when I couldn't find you." Tayden said with a sigh, feeling the sense of frustration he felt when he couldn't find his sister.

"Getting a wallet just takes a trip to the mall." Tayden said casually before tossing the burger down, having lost his appetite now. "And I.D. isn't hard to come by either. Nothing that we can't take care of in the following days to come." Tayden wiped his hands with the napkin next to his plate and then put it on his plate. "Job part might not be too hard either. They'll probably ask why you haven't been working, but you could say school or something. It's not an unbelievable small white lie." Tayden offered his sister a small smile before digging in his wallet and fishing out a twenty and a five. The cheque hadn't come yet, but it should cover the bill and a tip in his eyes, just fine.

[Teagan (DELETED 7350)]

He moved.
I can't cope with that information. He moved. Without me. How did he expect me to find him? Did he change his mobile number too? Am I lucky he didn't close his email account? Did he want to get rid of me?
My insecurities show in my eyes which are misting with tears.
Tay left me. My brother left me.
I'm not even ready to contemplate what he did with my things. I don't have much. Didn't have much. Did he keep them? Did he donate them? Did he take them to the dump? I can't stand the thought that he might have tried to rid himself of me. Maybe he was hoping I'd never return. Maybe I am the burden I think I am. He'd be at home if it wasn't for me. He'd of finished school. He'd have a good job. He might even have a family. No wonder he wanted to get rid of. I'm poison. I destroyed his life. The life he could have.
I withdraw into myself. If I hadn't finished eating. I'd definitely be done now. I feel sick. I feel physically sick. I cross my hands over my stomach and rock ever so slightly. I can't even focus on the rest of what he's saying - said. It's all gibberish. I don't care. I want to be dead. I wish I were dead. The paladins would have done the world a favour had they killed me the same night they killed Dominic.
I look up at Tay through wet lashes. He's paying for our meal and it makes me feel worse. Do I even have a place in his world anymore? I can't help but feel sorry for myself. I know he loves me. I know he does. He has to, else my entirely life has been a lie. I'd die for him. I thought he'd do the same. I'm not so sure now. I want to hurt him. Hurt him like he's hurt me but I can't. I don't kick him. I don't stab him with my fork either. I wrap my arms tighter around my stomach as I fight the urge to burst into tears and run away.
He doesn't need me. Tay doesn't need me. He's grown stronger in my absence. More independent. I can't hate him for that. He had to go on. He had to find a way to go forward. He had to. Just like I had to. Only I was fighting to get back to him. To make sure he was safe. I'm no longer sure what he was fighting for.
I try to steady my breathing. It's erratic. I'm finding it hard to take in enough air. No-one can break me. I'm stronger than this. I'm lying to myself. No-one but Tayden can break me. I don't let anyone else close enough to harm me. I don't trust anyone else. I trust Tay. I trusted Tay. My world is literally falling apart. I can handle my past. I can handle the abuse. I can handle the shame. But this. No. I shake my head, answering my internal dialogue. I can't handle this. I can handle anything but this.
Logic tells me to pull myself together, but I don't listen. It tells me that he's my brother, my twin. It tells me we're bonded and that he's always been there for me. I know this. I this with more certainty than I even know my own name. Still. It hurts. It really hurts.
I say nothing. I can't speak. I don't trust myself to speak. I stare at the plates in front of me and take a deep breath but it's shaky. I hear it. I'm on the verge of breaking into tears and sobbing. I want to curl up and die. I want to give Tayden his freedom. He deserves it. He didn't ask to be saddled with a freak like me for a sister. He didn't ask for this life. He deserves better. He deserves a life without me.

[Tayden (DELETED 7355)]

Tayden's sister is quiet and he knows that she's thinking. Thinking about everything he's said and everything that has changed since she had been gone. Tayden doesn't say anything, he just washes the slew of emotions on Teagan's face as she processes everything he's said and not said. She's thinking a lot of things, only Tayden doesn't know what exactly she is thinking. But judging by the looks of things; by Teagan's face, it's nothing good.

"You're more than welcome to stay with us. Anika hardly comes to the apartment..." Tayden suggests to his sister, before moving his plate to the right of him and near the wall of the booth. He sighed and looked his sister in the eyes. "Look, I know things aren't ideal. This thing with Anika is temporary. I knew it would be. But I couldn't afford rent by myself either.." Tayden coughed into his hands and took another sip of soda. "I get it if you don't want to live with us, Tayden said slowly as he put the cup down back on the table, where it had been a couple seconds ago. "I probably wouldn't want to if I was in your shoes either."

It was then that the waitress came by to collect his discarded plate and see if anyone wanted to have some dessert. Tayden had shook is head no before his eyes swayed back and forth between both women, waiting to see if Teagan would want anything. Once the waitress was gone, he would start talking again. "When you find a place you like though, stop by the apartment I'm sharing with Anika. I have a couple of large totes in a closet. Everything in it belongs to you. When you're ready." That would be all Tayden would say about the apartment if shared with Anika, as to not make the tension between the two siblings anymore awkward. "This place still has some pretty good burgers." A grin found its way back on his lips as he looked at the food that remained on his sister's plate.