Discomfort {Skylar}

[River]

Dated for 12/29/2015

She had never seen so many people gathered in one place. Even during her nights at the bar, there had been at least some place where she could find peace. However, it seemed as if someone had opened the floodgates within the Quarantine Zone and posted a sign that read ‘Welcome everyone in existence!’ She had yet to find a quiet place to rest where she wasn’t constantly getting ran into her overrun, and her nerves were beginning to go into overdrive. It felt as if her skin was tightening across her muscles, and for a solid second, she was worried that something was happening to her. Was she about to spontaneously combust due to stress?

I need to get out of here.

Quickly shaking her head, the Shadow tossed her borrowed gun onto the nearest couch, watching as it quickly became lost inside the tattered cushions when a zombie collapsed against it. Without waiting for someone to acknowledge her - she knew that no one would - she quietly ducked beneath a raised arm of a rather large male vampire and headed for the door. Her ruined converse squeaked against the floor, and she cringed when she felt the rubber soles stick to what she could only presume to be the guts of another recent kill. The stench was bad enough for her - she really didn’t want to think about what she was going to have to clean off of herself when she found a vacant public restroom. I really need to find my own place.

As soon as the thought entered her mind, she shook her head. She could just afford to keep herself fed. She really didn’t have the cash to be worried about living conditions. The remainder gave her pause, and she turned back towards the lobby to search out the ATM. She knew that Roderic had replenished her bank account, but she had never taken time to actually check the balance. She usually just went and withdrew without thinking twice due to the abundance of people surrounding the machine. Before she had made it another step, a body crashed into her, sending her sprawling back into the nearest table. As her *** connected with the computer desk, she gave a grunt of discomfort before pushing herself upright. The body belonged to a female - one that didn’t even bother to look her way as she hurried off towards the other side of the lobby.

Invisible.

With a frown, she rubbed at her lower back as she moved around the desk and quickly logged into the computer. She wasn’t sure if she could access her account from there, but she wasn’t about to attempt to make her way across the room. After a few presses of a button, her home screen appeared, and a box flashed to tell her that she had an e-mail she hadn’t read. Clicking the box, she bit into her lip when she saw the familiar name. Panic gripped her chest at the subject line, and she had to take a breath to steady her nerves. Skylar. “****.”

She had forgotten about the woman asking her to hang out. It was strange that anyone would offer to spend time with her, let alone someone she never met. She had pushed it out of her mind - and now it was coming back to haunt her. On one hand, she didn’t want to upset Roderic - but on the other, she was terrified of being in the presence of someone, being forced to have conversation and mingle. What if she said something stupid? What if she upset her? The questions twisted through her mind, and before she knew what she had done, she pressed reply.

<New Message>

Hey, I don't even know if you're back yet. It said you would be, but maybe you decided to stay longer.

I… I need to get out of the lobby. I’ll be at… I think I’ll be heading towards the Honeymead library. I know it’s not fun, but we can meet there if you still want to. I don’t… I’ll leave the rest up to you.

The cursor hovered over the ‘send’ button for a few minutes, before she finally clicked it. “What have I done?” The question was asked a moment before her silence was interrupted by the bark of a pistol. It was close enough that she felt the burn of the bullet graze against her flesh, and she quickly scrambled to her feet and rushed out the door. If Skylar read the message, she didn’t want to keep her waiting. If she didn’t - well, it wouldn’t be much of a change, really.

[Skylar]

My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket. Looking down I expect to see a message from Ric or Ellie. Not sure why I thought of Ellie though, as he's technologically inept, so it's rarely him. Maybe it's just my glass half full side, I'm hoping to hear from him. He did inspire me tonight, so I know he's thinking of me. I like that. I'm not needy by nature or anything but it's nice to know your sire's thinking of ya. I don't inspire Ellie daily, I switch it up between him and Pat. Ric gets my attention daily, but that's how it should be right?
I blink. The message is from River. Ric's newest thing. She seems nice. I'm still a bit wary of Ric's things, thanks to the psychotic one. Still. It's not like me to judge someone without giving them a go. I'll pretty much like everyone, till they prove they don't deserve to be liked and then I just avoid them. Don't see the point in wasting my time around people I don't like, when I can be with people I do. Ric may be an arse, but I ******* love spending time with him; even arguing with that guy can be fun at times.
I smirk. I told the girl we could go out anytime and she's finally taking me up on the offer. I'm much more fun to hang with than hubby. At least I think so. Ric can be difficult to pin down and he's not very good at hanging out; well with most people but me. He makes an effort for those he likes though. Hmm... That reminds me... We haven't been to any Christmas parties this year, and Ric didn't mention any plans for New Years, I should text him about that while I remember. Or... Maybe not. I need to reply to River first.
I'm back and I ain't got no plans for the night so I'm all yours. Meet you there. Could take me 20-30 mins. I'll be the bouncy blonde in the jeans, bitchin' t-shirt and short cropped leather jacket. Trust me. You won't miss me.
I reply to the email and shove the phone back in my pocket. No need to check my reflection or anything cos that **** just ain't done these days. I rake my fingers through my hair, slip my arms through the sleeves of my jacket and strap my feet into a pair of strappy black heels. These things used to feel like torture devises strapped to the bottom of my feet but I'm used to heels now. I blame Ric. Not that he ever asked me to wear them. I was always in flats before I met that guy. Guess some people just have that effect on people. Or rather, some people will do anything in the name of love, or lust, or whatever. Heels are nothing really. I could have gone all out girly with skirts and corsets and **** but they really aren't my style.
I text Ric on my way out the door. I told Blackie where I was going but it's not like he's able to relay the message for me. And even if he was, he wouldn't go near Ric, so yeah, definitely better to tell the hubby direct, rather than expecting the dog to do it.
Yep. I lost the plot a long ******* time ago. Get over it already.
I get downstairs and grimace. Should have just tomed direct to the depot and then portal jumped to somewhere nearby. Not sure why I left through the front door. Ain't no way in hell I'm walking through those ******* sewers if I'm going out. Been there, done that. And knowing my luck one of those naked freaks would be down there waiting for me. Bastards.
Takes me a bit to get to the library. I know where it is and all. I read. Yeah I know. You wouldn't expect that but I do. I'm more into music than books or TV though. Though that's pretty damned obvious to anyone that's ever met me. Music and art. Can't get a more worthy set of hobbies if you ask me.
I walk into the library, shoulder back, head high, hands in my pockets as I scan the place. Shouldn't be difficult to find River in here, this place ain't all that big.

[River]

It didn’t take her long to reach her destination.

When someone was as quiet and unremarkable as she was, people tended to leave you alone. She was able to make her way from the Quarantine Zone to the River Rock station without incident. Even the enemies clad in absolutely nothing looked past her. I don’t even warrant a bullet, she thought dryly as she flicked her hood up, concealing her hair and face from view. It was better this way, she knew. It was easier to make her way through her new world without having to risk her life - or their secrecy - to the public. If no one noticed her, no one would have anything to say if an issue ever arose about what she had become. It didn’t ease the sting, however. She used to not care that she blended into the background. In fact, she had preferred it for so long. It meant that no one questioned her about Addison. She wasn’t actively sought out so she could display her shattered and torn heart for them to analyze. Her pain had been her own, and it had been suffered in solitude until it had festered and threatened to eat her alive.

You’re dwelling again.

Shaking her head, she gripped the iron bar to the train and lifted herself up, her worn sneakers slipping across the wet floor before she regained her balance. She knew that she had a problem with living in the past, but when she was alone, it was all she could think of. It was the thing that reminded her that she was alive, the thing that woke her up. Finding herself a seat, she pulled her knee to her chest and rested her chin on it, her fingers toying with the frayed denim. Focus, River, she thought as a hand scrubbed over her face. It wouldn’t take her long to reach the library, and she knew she wouldn’t fare well with meeting the woman with her mind in the past. It would only lead to questions, concerns and a story she had no intention of delving into. If she is even there, she reminded herself as she turned her gaze out the window to watch the world pass by. The buildings blurring together might not look like much to someone else, but to her they formed an entirely different world, one where there were no differences, no separation.

It was beautiful.

By the time the train had come to a stop at Honeymead, she had calmed herself. Her chest no longer tightened about the thought of meeting this strange woman, nor did she feel as if she was going to tear from her skin. She had finally managed to quiet the storm in her mind. Ducking her head as she slid between the throng of bodies, she leaped off the platform without a word. No one looked her way, no one asked to see a ticket or identification. They went about their lives without noticing the dark, skinny girl with blood on her sneakers. Releasing a breath, she shook her head as she moved towards the library, her steps unhurried. She had convinced herself that the woman wasn’t going to show, and she already knew she wouldn’t hold it against her. She had her own life, one, apparently, that required her to run Hawthorne at Roderic’s side. The dynamics of her new life still confused her, if she were to be honest with herself. They were a family - but they were not tied by blood. They had been created, each one of them, and forged together by… fang.

When she reached the front doors, she stepped to the side as someone with an arm full of books stumbled out, nearly spilling their bundle onto the cement. Her hand shot out to help steady them, but her fingers only gripped cloth as they turned and rushed down the sidewalk without a backwards glance. Shrugging her shoulders, she slipped in and headed for the computer section, her steps quiet. It wasn’t the books that lured her to the library, but the solitude. It was quiet, everyone lost in their need to find a life outside of their own. They had no time for reality. Sliding into a vacant seat, she brought the computer to life, the sort whirr of the fan filling the silence. With a few clicks, she managed to find her e-mail, and she hovered the cursor over the ‘new e-mail’ in shock. She hadn’t expected her to respond - especially not so quickly.

“****.”

Forcing herself to click the note, she read it fast before shaking her head. How in the hell was she to interact with this woman? It was clear that she had no barriers, no care in the world. From her e-mail alone, she was clearly outgoing, unafraid and erratic. You can’t miss me, she thought for a moment, before sighing. What would it be like to be able to say those words? To know that the moment you walked into a room, you would be noticed? Her ex-fiance had worn the look wel-- no. She needed to shut that down. The e-mail had been sent nearly ten minutes ago, and her time was running out. She had a choice to make. She could go out the door and meet her, or she could run out the back and disappear into the sewers, claiming that she had been distracted.

Before she knew what was happening, she was moving back towards the front doors, her hood pulled up and her mis-matched eyes scanning each face for a bouncing blonde in a bitching t-shirt. It didn’t take her long to spot the woman, and she gave a slow smile. She had been right - she wasn’t hard to miss. Bracing herself for the interaction, she made her way towards the woman, her trembling hands pressed deep into her pockets. When she spoke, her words were soft, even for library standards. “Com licença?” The Portuguese fell easily from her tongue, as natural as breathing had once been for her. Quickly shaking her head, she cleared her throat and reached a hand up to rub the back of her neck. “S-S-Skylar?”

[Skylar]

Some foreign chick starts talking to me and I shake my head at first as if to tell her I don't understand. Which I don't. I don't know what it is about me that attracts the crazies but I'm kinda used to it now, even if it does seem to be worse now that I'm a vampire.
The woman says my name and I look her over.
She's nervous. Of course she's nervous. I mean you can see that in her actions and the way she talks but her emotions hit me too. I ******* hate this funky superpower at times, because I seem to imitate other people’s emotions at times. More so Ric than most. His emotions, when I do feel, seem to really get under my skin.
I throw my arms around the girl and hug her tight and then chuckle, nervously. I'm not nervous. It's her. I need to shake this off. I step back and grin at the brunette.
"If you're not River then this is awkward."
I practically sing that last word. I feel the nerves leaving me.
"But ya know. Since you know my name you're either her, or a fan. Either way I guess the hug's appropriate."
I give her a cheeky wink. Yes, Electric Lies has fans, but not all that many. Well none that I pay any attention to. I have a few fans that show up daily to hear me sing at Wickbridge Station too. I know the few that are brave enough to talk to me by name, the other's I just know by sight. It's all whatever to me. I've never wanted to be famous. Probably a good thing considering the state of things as they are. I mean you can't go getting all famous as an immortal now can ya? At least not in this day and age. That kinda sucks, but it is what it is. Anonymity isn't a friend of anyone in this era.
"You alright?"
I ask the question but I'm not sure if she'd tell me if she wasn't. I mean she messaged me and asked to hang out, so yeah, I know she needs company, but she doesn't know me from Adam. Not really. Give her half an hour with me and she'll likely feel like she's known me forever. I don't need half an hour. I can be friends with anyone pretty much on sight. I've always been that way. Pretty much.
I'm not sure if I'm too much for her so I step off a bit. Give her a bit of space. I've met a couple of Ric's things. One's a complete psycho, the other's a peach. I'm hoping Ric's taste has gotten better, not worse, but who the **** knows. I don't even know what drives that guy of mine to sire. I've never really felt the calling myself. Yeah, I have Pat, but he asked to be turned. I didn't go looking for anyone. Good thing really, as it took a week for Pat to come over to the dark side and the poor guy went through hell. Damn near looked like he'd die at one point. Thankfully, he pulled through. Kinda ******* love having a cub of my own but I'm still not looking for more. I already have Ric and Blackie to look after, don't need to be running around after anyone else. Not that I run around after Pat, he's a grown *** man. He don't need me looking over his shoulder. If he was the needy sort, I think we'd have issues.
I don't much care about the fact that we might be disturbing people. I probably am too, I'm not exactly the quiet sort. I mean yeah. I can be quiet if I have to be. I just don't wanna. Besides, we won't be staying here. There's not much fun to be had in a library. Well not unless you know, you're alone, and reading, which we aren't.

[River]

Did she even hear you?

The thought slithered unbidden into her mind as she watched the woman in front of her, her mismatched eyes hidden in the shadows of her hood. She waited for her to look right through her, even as her gaze landed on her face, her features twisting into a look of pure confusion. It was a look she wasn’t used to. Wrapping her arms around her middle, she dropped her gaze to the ground, her nails digging into her arms through the thick cloth of her sweatshirt. Before she had a chance to consider her options, she felt the heavy weight of the woman’s arms surrounding her, nearly knocking her off her feet. The laugh that brushed along her ear had her cringing, and she made no move to return the embrace. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, and she knew that it had nothing to do with the strength of the hug. When the woman finally stepped back, she redid the zipper on her jacket and cleared her throat, her gaze locked on her shoes. You need to say something. Anything. Talk about the weather, for crissakes!

“N-n-nice sho-shoes.”

Had she really just said that? Did that seriously just happen? She was the owner of three art awards and had graduated top of her class, and yet, she could only utter ‘nice shoes’ as greeting? Closing her eyes as she mentally berated herself, she continued to hug herself as she thought through her options. Clearly, the ground wasn’t going to simply open up and swallow her hole as it did on Buffy, so she knew that she had to face the music. She found herself wishing for the woman to treat her as everyone else did - invisible, like a ghost that they didn’t have time for. She wanted to blend in with the background and not have to face this bubbly blonde with the bitching t-shirt. She knew that she paled in comparison to her, with her hair the color of a white hot sun and the energy of an excitable chihuahua - but what choice did she have? She had taken her up on her offer, and once again, she found herself dreading it. It had nothing to do with her, despite how easier that would make the entire situation.

It was her.
She was broken.

“I--I mean-- yes--- I-...I’m River.” The words became increasingly more difficult the longer she tried to speak them, and she forced herself to look up from the floor. She was torn between spilling her life story to her and running into the stacks and finding a corner to hide in. It was always like that, when she was finally faced with a conversation. She either spoke too much and too fast - or not enough. It was as if her mind couldn’t decide which way it wanted to torture her. Taking a deep breath into her useless lungs, she slowly began to uncurl her fingers from her arm, each taking more effort than the last. “I’m h-h-hi-highly un--uncomfortable,” she admitted as she forced a sheepish smile to her features. Taking another step back, she brought her sleeve down over her hand and motioned towards the entrance when she noticed a few of the library’s occupants beginning to glare in their direction.

“Y-You can c-choose w-w-what to d-do.”

[Skylar]

I grin at the awkward little thing in front of me when she says I like my shoes. I like my shoes too. I look down at them, twisting my ankle slightly to show them off better and then relax back into my natural posture.
The girl has a stutter and it's kinda cute and frustrating at the same time. If I were drunk I might be wanting to tell her to just spit it out already. Thankfully I'm not. Poor thing can't help it. I'd never laugh at someone with a speech impediment, but I can't keep my mouth from saying the wrong thing from time to time neither. If I spend too much time around her, I might even imitate her, which would be bad. I'm sure if I go doing that she'll think I'm taking the piss, but I wouldn't be. I'd just be copying her speech pattern without thinking about it. I've noticed I do that at times. Speak better or worse depending on my audience. I think it's natural. Adaptation is the key to survival after all. I read somewhere it’s a sign of intelligence too but I'm not sure I really buy into that myself.
She tells me she is who I think she - thank **** - and that I can decide what to do. Well bad mistake there missy, cos given the choice I'll always drink. Can't help it. Drinking, music, drawing, *******; that's my go to list for fun - though not in that order - and well I'm missing my instrument, art supplies and husband, so that rules out the last three. Drink is by far the easiest thing for me to get my paws on. There's a cafe next door but **** that. Ain't **** she can drink in there so she can pretend to fit in. Nope. Guess i'm taking her to Pap Bear's place. It's only a short train ride away, so yeah, Lancaster's here we come.
I grab her hand. I already know she's not into physical contact but well, tough, it's only her hand. I could link my arm through hers or place my arm around her, but I've chosen to take her hand, which is the lesser evil of the three.
"Come on hun. Let's get out of here before they kick me out for making a scene or something."
I'm not making a scene yet, but I am being a bit too loud for library. The pub's a perfect place to take her and if she gets really antsy, I can always take her into Ellie's office where we can be alone. I'm sure he won't mind. And well, even if he does I don't much give a ****.
"I'm gonna take you to my family's place across town. You eaten today?"
I glance over at her as I practically tug her out of the door. I'm a hell of lot stronger than I look, something I have to be conscious of pretty much twenty-four seven. People are way more fragile than vampires and some vampires are more fragile even than me. River will be that's for sure cos she's a baby vamp. I don't much care how long she's been a vamp though, age ain't nothing but a number, so I'm not gonna judge her for that. We were all baby vamps once. Hell. I'm probably still classed as one myself. But so far as I can tell, most vamps in the city are only a few years into their afterlives.
"And no need to worry about feeling uncomfortable around me babe. I ain't one to judge. Usually cos I'm the one being judged I'm sure but i don't really give a ****. Unless Ricky's the one doing the judging, in which case I usually try and behave myself but you can only hold off being who you are for so long."
I smile over at her. I'm not lying. Not really. i do give a crap what Ric thinks but that doesn't mean I adapt my behaviour around him all that much. Sure I try to make sure to give him some quiet time and stuff and try not to do **** that's gonna piss him off but I'm still me. This leopard isn't changing her spots. Not that he'd ask me to. Same way I wouldn't ask him to. I'm kinda all into the whole, what you see is what you get kinda thing. No point false advertising.
"We need to catch the train."
I nod in the direction of the station before I set off walking. It's only then that I second guess myself. Which isn't like me. I usually just do what I want to do and going for a drink is definitely on my 'want to do' list, but maybe I should have suggested something more fun. Oh well. The pub has a pool table. We could play while we talk. Or while I talk and she tries not to get flustered replying.
Whatever.
I shrug to myself. Plan A is always the best plan. Plan B usually sucks balls. Not that I had a Plan B, but you get what I mean. It's plan B for a reason and I'm not one to settle. Life's too short. Or well, it used to be. I still apply that logic to my life though. Do what makes you happy, cos tomorrow you might be dead. That's a hard little habit to break. Not that I wanna break it. I am who I am and most of the time I like who I am, so yeah, Plan A it is.

[River]

Biting into her lower lip, she continued to tug at the sleeve of her hoodie, as if the one section of cotton could shelter her from the searching eyes of her company. She kept her gaze shielded from the other, and instead of focusing on her - she studied the bindings on the books behind her head. She could still see her out of her peripheral, but she couldn’t make out the emotion - or the judgment in her eyes. It didn’t occur to her that the woman could have been genuine when she spoke of not casting judgment. She had been told that far too many times, only to have been left shamed in the span of minute. Many couldn’t handle her inability to speak, while others found it endearing until it suddenly wasn’t. She had been condemned for everything from her choice of art to her mental disorders. She had learned to trust only what was given to her and not what was spoken. Words were fleeting, but actions were things that were engraved in memories for years to come.

Caught up as she was in reading the titles and her thoughts, she barely noticed when the woman had grabbed her hand and began to tug her to the door. All she knew was that one moment, she was contemplating checking out the newest Stephen King novel - and the next, she was stumbling over her shoelaces as the woman forced her to the exit. At five foot four, she was far too used to being treated like a ragdoll, her stature making it easy for her to be tossed around as if she were weightless. It hadn’t been something that had happened to her in the recent years, and she found that she was unsure of how to react. With a wiggle of her fingers, she realized that the woman’s grasp was too strong for her to do much of anything with, and so she reluctantly allowed the contact to remain. It was that or try to ask her to let her go - something that would never happen, even if there was a gun pressed to her temple. She would rather be uncomfortable than risk upsetting the woman.

“I-- No. I h-haven’t,” she stammered, barely in time to make it seem as if she had been paying attention to her question. She still hadn’t a clue where they were headed, and she mentally berated herself for not paying attention back in the library. She had been too busy trying not to have a panic attack, that she hadn’t thought to listen to what she had signed herself up for. Please, let it be something I can handle. The last thing I need is embarrass myself in front of her, she thought as she used her free hand to tuck a dark strand of hair behind her ear. With her back to her as she rushed them to the transit, it was easier for her to get a better look at her - and she couldn’t believe how different they were. Though she was dressed in a style similar to her own, she was far too bright. Her hair gleamed in the moonlight, and her eyes seemed to sparkle with a joy and confidence that she would never possess. The way she walked reminded her far too much of Addison, but the attitude made up for it.

Her ex-fiance had been raised in money, and it she had never let anyone forget it. She had a classic beauty that took her breath away, something that the woman in front of her lacked. It made her no less breathtaking, but it was a different kind of beauty. It was more subtle, and she found herself relaxing, despite the fact that the woman was leading her into the unknown.

[Skylar]

I glance over at my companion turned captive. I can feel her uncertainty but I ignore it. She'll get used to me in time. I'm nothing to worry about but she'll only learn that through proximity. I kinda like her already. She can be a side project for me to work on when I'm not distracted by whatever it is that's distracting me at the time. I mean I make time for stuff, for my music, my work, my husband but still, I know what I'm like. I'm like some supernatural magpie at times. Shiny things distract me. I always find that aspect of my personality funny considering I make but don't really wear much jewellery. About the only piece I wear with any regularity is my wedding ring - in public at least.
"You don't got problems feeding do ya?"
The moment I ask the question I realise I might have phrased it wrong. It sounded like I was judging her, which I wasn't. I've just known vamps that have issues. Actually. I should find out what she favours, diet wise. If she's anything like Ricky, I'll be opening a vein in the backroom to fill a glass for her. It's the one thing Lancaster's doesn't stock. Probably because people don't seem to talk about that kind of thing.
I slow my pace and drop the level of my voice a little so as not to be overheard by anyone.
"What do you drink anyways. I mean I'm assuming you drink the regular, but there are those of us that favour animals. There are even a few that favour their own kind."
I'm not sure if she's following my meaning. I could come straight out and say it but I try to be vague so that no-one else will be able to figure out what I'm talking about if they do manage to pick up on only art of the conversation. I'm more than prepared to explain myself if needs be, but if I don't gotta, so much the better. I'm pretty sure Ric wouldn't have told her what he is yet, if he ever feels the need to tell her at all, but that doesn't mean the girl should be in the dark as to her options. As she does have them. Thankfully I can talk about this kind of thing without worrying, cos really, I don't much give a ****. It's not my secret, so of course I won't drop Ric in it, but I do know what I'm talking about, meaning I can probably give her advice; if she needs it.
I keep us moving forward. We need to get to the station before the next train and I have no idea how long that will be. Timetables really aren't my thing. Most of the time I use my tome to get to the bar, and anywhere else I can, but even before that I was never the sort to memorise times. Time never has meant much to me. I'm happy being early, late or dead on time. So long as I'm not gigging that is, and then I have bandmates to keep me timely. For everything else I'm on my on clock. Well. Almost. If Ric's with me, I'm on his schedule. Don't mind that though, I'm flexible, and if it keeps him happy then so much the better.

[River]

The questions she fired in her direction were enough to have her head spinning, and she found herself not only struggling to keep up - but struggling to know how to answer. Did she have trouble eating? The thought caused her to stumble, and she quickly uprighted herself by putting a hand to the small of Skylars’ back before shaking her head. She had found that after the initial nights of her turning, feeding herself had not only been easy but enjoyable. Before she had a chance to explain that, however, the blonde had barreled on, clearly two steps ahead of herself in her thoughts. Sinking her teeth into her lower lip, she dropped her gaze to the ground and watched as they kicked dirt and stray rocks up in their haste to make it to the transit, more interested in the gritty cement than the question that was being asked. Despite having found enjoyment in feeding, she had taken to allowing herself to practically starve before finding a meal. It was a theory, one to test how far she could push herself before starvation turned her into an uncontrollable monster.

She had an inkling of suspicion that Skylar wouldn’t find the bright side in her honesty, and so she quickly forced her mind to come up with something to appease the concern in her eyes. Releasing her hold on her lip, she cleared her throat as they picked up the pace, and gave a shrug of her slender shoulders. “I-I-... nor-normal is f-fine.” She had caught on to the context of their conversation, and she had morphed her answer into something subtle - yet easy enough to decipher. However, something about what the other had said nagged at the back of her mind, and she found her brows drawing together as she frowned. Our own vein? Dropping her gaze to her wrist, where her blood had once flowed fresh and warm, she studied the soft skin for a long moment. She had never considered that option, and it appalled her. The act seemed so intimate - she had felt the women in her arms as they gave in to her bite - that she couldn’t imagine it.

She had no one in her life that she could share such a gift with, and the knowledge caused that familiar ache in her chest to flare up. She hated Addison for everything that she had done to her, and yet, she had been the only one that she had ever loved. She would have gladly - and selfishly - shared this life with her, had the situation been different. Had I been different, she silently amended as she finally fell into an easy pace at her side. As the transit came into sight, she turned her gaze briefly to the woman and narrowed her eyes. The questions were burning on the tip of her tongue, and yet, it felt wrong to ask her. Roderic had been the one to guide her through this new life, and the thought of depending on anyone else for help made her uneasy. Instead of pelting the blonde with everything in her mind, she made a mental note to e-mail him when they were finished. Until then, she would do her best to enjoy whatever torture the woman had in store for her.

[Skylar]

"Cool. Me too. Drink the norm that is."
I glance over at River just to check up on her. She didn't say if she had issues feeding or not but since she seemed to almost stumble over her own feet or whatever that was, I kinda suspect she's not drinking what she should.
I shrug to myself.
That's easily fixed.
I buy us tickets at the booth and consider what to tell her next. She's not much of a talker this one. Which is fine. Though I usually like a bit more back and forth. I don't stress over it though. Girl's only just met me. She might need time to adjust to me. Time to feel comfortable before she starts shooting the breeze with me.
"I bet you don't eat like I do though."
I give her a smile, the kind that says I'm hiding a secret, the kind of secret I just might share.
Girl don't know me yet. She doesn't know I'm the queen of TMI, so of course I'm gonna tell her what my secret is. I'm just not going to do it here. Well not while I'm walking around people that is. Not that there are all that many people on the platform. Still. I wait till I've found us a little space away from the other train goers and then turn to face her.
"I don't got fangs."
I say it just like that. Blurting the truth out with a shrug of my shoulders. It's no big deal. Not really. I can still feed, I just don't go around biting people is all. Might even be a blessing in disguise. And well... we always have blood at home. Always. Not sure where some of it comes from and truthfully I ain't gonna ask. It's probably best I don't know all the details.
"Not sure why not."
I continue. I don't really have an explanation for the girl as to why I don't have fangs. I just don't. I'm defective - in more ways than one. I'm a naturally unnatural vampire is what I am. I took to this life pretty damn easy, it just didn't take to me so much in return is all.
"I don't let that slow me down any though. So don't go feeling sorry for me. And no digging around in my mouth to see if I'm lying or some ****."
I laugh as I remember telling Ric I didn't have fangs. He pretty much gave me an oral exam right there in the sewers, I think it fascinated him. I didn't much care back then what I had to do to get his attention, so I let him do what he wanted. Oh who am I kidding. I still do. I'd say no if I wanted to, I just don't use that word much around Ricky is all.
I look to River to gauge her reaction to what I’ve told her. It amuses me to see how people react to things like this. I could tell the girl too that I can’t sire like a normal vampire but I might just save that piece of trivia for later, or another day or something. I want to bond with her, not make her brain explode with all the random crap I know, and don’t know. Cos I don’t know why my blood basically poisons people to death or whatever it is it does.