Whiling Away Time

[Levi DAmico]

Levi D’Amico: Ciao Squalo Bianco. Come sta?

Shirosame Hiroumi: In English or Italian?

Levi D’Amico: Whichever’s easiest.

Shirosame Hiroumi: My Italian’s rusty…

Levi D’Amico: Your English ain’t great either.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Thanks.

Shirosame Hiroumi: So what do you want? I thought you weren’t working this week?

Levi D’Amico: I’m not. Just checking in.

Shirosame Hiroumi: On what? Work’s as expected. A little quiet on account of it being Boxing Day and all…

Levi D’Amico: Well, so long as nothing’s blown up.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Yeah... What the **** was that anyway? Has anyone claimed responsibility?

Levi D’Amico: Wish I could say. It wasn’t work-related, that much I know.

Shirosame Hiroumi: What makes you so sure?

Levi D’Amico: Doesn’t matter.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Of course it does!

Shirosame Hiroumi: They blew up half the ******* building and tried to kill you too. Or have you forgotten?

Levi D’Amico: I haven’t. There’s just not much evidence to go on.

Shirosame Hiroumi: And since when has that mattered to you?

Levi D’Amico: It matters in the fact that I have no one to chase down, dumbass.

Shirosame Hiroumi: If you told me what you do know, I could help.

Levi D’Amico: You’ve got enough problems. I don’t want you involved in this.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I can take care of myself. Or have you forgotten that too? Seems like you got hit in the head too ******* hard, too many times.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You’re not anything like yourself these days.

Levi D’Amico: I would have thought you’d like that seeing as how you keep on telling me how much of a ******** I am.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You’re still a ********. Just a different ******** now.

Levi D’Amico: Thanks?

Shirosame Hiroumi: Trust me. That was not a compliment.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I’m just worried about you.

Levi D’Amico: Why?

Shirosame Hiroumi: Because the Levi I know was too ******* stubborn to let anything hurt him. Now though, I’m not sure.

Levi D’Amico: The world’s changed and I’m adapting my methods to it. That’s not gonna get me killed.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You’d be surprised what can get a man killed these days, Levi. But the old things can still bite you. Before, I thought you were impervious. But maybe I was wrong about everything. Maybe I was just wrong about who I thought you were.

Levi D’Amico: Maybe we both were.

Shirosame Hiroumi: And that doesn’t bother you?

Levi D’Amico: Of course it ******* bothers me. Ain’t **** all I can do about it though. Look at my options: abandon everything I have and go back or move forward.

Shirosame Hiroumi: And you’ve decided to move forward?

Levi D’Amico: Maybe you’ve rubbed off on me. Sharks can’t swim backwards, right.

Shirosame Hiroumi: No, but we can ******* turn-tail. Do you honestly think that what’s ahead of you is the right path?

Levi D’Amico: No. To be frank, it worries me every second of the day. But I can’t turn back, Shiro. I just can’t.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You’ve come too far to go back, right?

Levi D’Amico: Yes and no. I just don’t even know if going back’s an option now. So my options are all about moving forward. Maybe it’s just the paths ahead are the ones to consider.

Shirosame Hiroumi: What do you mean?

Levi D’Amico: I mean, it won’t do me anything to just pack up and leave and disappear forever. I’ve got ways to become invisible to everyone and I can live without all of you.

Shirosame Hiroumi: There’s nice. But you couldn’t disappear from me entirely. I would track you down eventually.

Levi D’Amico: I don’t think so. If I wanted to go, I could go no problems. Not even your ninja *** could find me.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Should I take it that this isn’t entirely about work?

Levi D’Amico: Take it as you wanna take it. As far as I’m concerned, there’s only two people who’d A) give a **** that I left and B) come looking.

Shirosame Hiroumi: So, Gino and I?

Levi D’Amico: Yep.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Had a falling out with your woman, I take it?

Levi D’Amico: Not really. I’m just being realistic here. Doesn’t matter what I do, I know she’ll be fine without me. She’s lost a lot and she’s still here. Some random person leaving ain’t gonna mean ****.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You’re not just some random person, Levi.

Levi D’Amico: Not in general, no. I just mean, to her I am.

Shirosame Hiroumi: So why are you two still together if that’s the case?

Levi D’Amico: **** knows. Probably because I haven’t left. Look. I don’t really wanna discuss this with you.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I think you should.

Levi D’Amico: Of course you do.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You think I want to talk because I’m nosey. And maybe that’s part of it, but I think you need someone else to help you through this too. Isn’t that why we’re a team to begin with? Do you respect my opinion or not?

Levi D’Amico: Not.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Don’t be an arse. You trust me to tell you what I think is right, even if it goes against your idea of what is right. That’s why we work together. I keep you in check.

Levi D’Amico: I don’t need you to keep me in check. That’s not why we work together.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Oh really? So you talk to me recreationally for what other purpose?

Levi D’Amico: Usually because I’m drunk and I don’t make the best of decisions then.

Shirosame Hiroumi: So why talk to me at all?

Levi D’Amico: **** knows.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Because I’m useful. That’s why. I’m useful because I give you another point of view and for all that you are, Levi, you are not perfect. Be proud and arrogant if you want and tell me I’m wrong, but when it boils down to it, you know I’m right about you need my help.

Levi D’Amico: You’re an annoying piece of **** is what you are.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Annoying because I’m right and it tears you down the middle to acknowledge it.

Levi D’Amico: What-the-****-ever, Jaws.

Shirosame Hiroumi: So talk to me.

Levi D’Amico: About what?

Shirosame Hiroumi: Christ, it’s like pulling teeth with you.

Levi D’Amico: You don’t even believe in Jesus.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Do you really think that stalling is helping?

Levi D’Amico: I reckon I have a few minutes to stall in until I have to leave, so yeah.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Then why are you still here at all? Just close the messenger and go.

Shirosame Hiroumi: If you don’t want to talk, log off and **** off.

Shirosame Hiroumi: The fact that you haven’t is evidence to the fact that you want to talk to me. You want me to tell you that you’re right or you’re wrong. So out with it.

Levi D’Amico: I proposed to her yesterday.

Shirosame Hiroumi: What?!

Levi D’Amico: To Lorelai. Proposed. Marriage and ****. I don’t really know how better to say it.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I get it. Just, why?

Levi D’Amico: Just seemed like the right thing to do.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Why?

Levi D’Amico: Because I wanted to show her I’m committed and love her and I don’t know why.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Because you wanted her to show you, more like. Did she say yes?

Levi D’Amico: Yeah.

Shirosame Hiroumi: But did it work?

Levi D’Amico: What?

Shirosame Hiroumi: Do you believe her?

Levi D’Amico: No.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Would you believe anyone?

Levi D’Amico: Nope. And that’s why I wanted to do it.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You hope one day that you can trust someone?

Levi D’Amico: You’re making this weird and I’m not drunk enough to talk about this.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I’m not making it weird. You just need to man up and talk about **** instead of hiding everything away like a ******* coward.

Levi D’Amico: I’m gonna punch you in the face the next time I see you.

Shirosame Hiroumi: And you’ll probably miss because you’re a slow, old man.

Levi D’Amico: **** off, Jaws.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Make me.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Threats aside, Levi. I think you made a good choice. I think you could have made it to a better person, but I’m not one to judge.

Levi D’Amico: You’re right. You shouldn’t ******* judge.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I don’t mean anything by it. She’s a nice girl, and maybe that’s why you like her because she helps you to forget a side of you that you can’t deal with, but she’s got baggage. I’m not sure if that’s going to be anything but a trigger for stress for you. As you try to escape one reality, you find yourself inflicted by a worse one.

Levi D’Amico: You have no ******* idea what I have to tolerate. None.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Because you won’t tell me. All I can do, Levi, is go with what I can see on my own. As far as I can tell, this is tearing you apart.

Levi D’Amico: Good talk, Shiro. We should do this again sometime when you’re not being a *****.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Stop doing that.

Levi D’Amico: What?

Shirosame Hiroumi: Changing the subject because you can’t be bothered to deal with this one.

Levi D’Amico: It’s what I do. And you say I’ve changed…

Shirosame Hiroumi: I did, but, I also said I could be wrong about that.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Look, congratulations on your engagement. I hope that you two make it work. I really do. I think you both deserve some lasting happiness in your life.

Levi D’Amico: Yeah, thanks.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I mean it.

Levi D’Amico: Sure you do. And you won’t be the first person to point at me and tell me you said it wouldn’t last.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Despite what you may think, Levi. I wouldn’t do that. Do you always have to see the worst in people?

Levi D’Amico: It’s kept me alive this long.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Maybe it has, but are you happy with the way your life is right now? Isn’t there anything you think could have gone better if you’d maybe seen something good in people?

Levi D’Amico: It’s pointless to think that way.

Shirosame Hiroumi: It’s what Humans do, Levi. It’s what you do. We look to our past to shape our futures for the better. We have to acknowledge our faults in order to overcome them. You know that.

Levi D’Amico: The people I live around don’t have any good in them, Shiro.

Shirosame Hiroumi: All of them?

Levi D’Amico: Are you saying there’s good in you?

Shirosame Hiroumi: I like to think there is.

Levi D’Amico: Good is a matter of perspective, Shiro. Same as morals. Me and you, we know that better than anyone. It’s the world we are in. It’s different to the outside. Our Families tell us that shooting someone in the face is a good way to win an argument. The rest of the world thinks it’s savage.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I know. The rest of the world is deluded.

Levi D’Amico: So you want me to be deluded? I’d rather be pleasantly surprised by someone not being the prick I expect them to be. At least then I have a reason to be happy, right?

Shirosame Hiroumi: You are the only person I know that can make a good deed look shitty. And vice versa.

Levi D’Amico: But you know what else I am? I’m hardly ever wrong. I see **** in people because there is **** in people. They can pretend all they want that it was circumstance that brought it out in them, they can pretend it was someone else’s fault, but it doesn’t change what they are and what they did.

Shirosame Hiroumi: So when you’re right, what does that solve?

Levi D’Amico: Absolutely nothing. And that’s the best part. Because it don’t matter what I do, things will run their course as they were always meant to.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You make it sound like there’s no point to living.

Levi D’Amico: There isn’t. Life’s not precious. It’s just a load of ******** that we suffer through until death comes.

Shirosame Hiroumi: That’s a festive thought to have.

Levi D’Amico: I ain’t ******* Christian. What makes you think I give a **** about the holidays? It’s just the thing to do, ain’t it.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You sound miserable…

Levi D’Amico: I don’t think so. It’s just life. That’s how it is. How it’s always been.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Well, if that’s the case I’m worried that you don’t know what misery is anymore.

Levi D’Amico: It’s not misery to me. Don’t waste your energy worrying about me, Shiro.

Shirosame Hiroumi: A normal person reading this would think you’re depressed.

Levi D’Amico: I ain’t depressed. I just ain’t deluded; pretending the world’s all sunshine and rainbows when it’s not. There’s **** everywhere you look.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Yeah, but still…

Levi D’Amico: Still what?

Shirosame Hiroumi: You might not be miserable, but are you happy?

Levi D’Amico: Sometimes I am. Sometimes I ain’t. What difference does it make? I’m not saying this **** because I’ve lost touch on reality, Shiro. Quite the motherfucking opposite. It’s the same ideology as before: good and evil are subjective. You can live your life pretending the world is good and perfect if you wanna, but I’m gonna think you’re a deluded idiot if you do. But it doesn’t matter, does it. None of this **** matters.

Shirosame Hiroumi: And you’re not drunk right now?

Levi D’Amico: Nope. I’m annoyingly sober. The sun’s only just set when I started talking to you.

Shirosame Hiroumi: So when am I actually going to see you next?

Levi D’Amico: **** knows. How long you in Canada?

Shirosame Hiroumi: For as long as I need to be. You’re heading to Boston next week, aren’t you?

Levi D’Amico: The week after, but, I dunno yet.

Shirosame Hiroumi: You should be there.

Levi D’Amico: Why?

Shirosame Hiroumi: You’ll need to show your alliance to him.

Levi D’Amico: I have no ******* alliance to him.

Shirosame Hiroumi: I know, but, they don’t.

Levi D’Amico: True. There’s a chance I might go off on one and just kill the ****** though.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Do you need me to hold your hand?

Levi D’Amico: Go **** yourself.

Shirosame Hiroumi: As much as you want to, I think that killing him would be a bad idea.

Levi D’Amico: Better to let him kill me?

Shirosame Hiroumi: I doubt that’s his intention.

Levi D’Amico: Why? Because I’m his blood? That doesn’t mean **** to anyone.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Maybe not to you and your father, but it means a lot to the world you’re in. That’ll be enough to persuade him. Appearances are everything.

Levi D’Amico: You give him way too much credit.

Shirosame Hiroumi: If you want me to come to Boston with you, I can make the date.

Levi D’Amico: We’ll see.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Ok. Just let me know.

Levi D’Amico: Yep. Again… Great chat, Shiro. Ciao.

Shirosame Hiroumi: Right back at you, ********. Sayonara.