♪ Behind Closed Doors ♪ (Closed)

[Skylar]

Most people have skeletons in their closet. I have a husband in mine.

I'm not what you'd call a light sleeper. I sleep like the dead. Once that sun comes up I'm out like a light and the world could go to hell for all I know. Dillon used to tell me it was like having a corpse on the sofa. Apparently he tried everything but setting me on fire to wake me up and nothing worked. So when I wake to find myself alone, I'm not entirely surprised. Ric being up and about won't stir me from my death like state, at least not until after that sun sets again.
First things first. I blink my eyes and yawn. My hand moves to see if I'm alone or not. And wouldn't you know it. The ****** is gone. Again. I kinda, ******* hate waking alone these days and it's been happening a lot more often lately. I sigh. Sit up, stretch. You know. The usual routine. Feet off the side of the bed, adjust my nightdress, feet go into my slippers. I stand and stretch before leaning over and taping my bunnies on the nose. If Ric had things his way I swear I'd be wearing actual rabbits on my feet. I kinda prefer the fake, plushie kind.
I amble into the front room. No Ric.
I shuffle to the work room. No Ric.
I head back to the bedroom and pray he's not where I think he is.
He is.
Opening the door to his cupboard - as I'm actually not allowed to use the thing, still - I find him curled up on the floor. I know better than to try stepping in there with him. Tried that the first time and it didn't work out so good for me. So I kneel next the doorjamb, which I use as support and lean over to take a hold of his hand.
"Babe."
I gently shake his hand which in turn shakes his arm.
"Ricky... You have bad dreams again?"
I don't really need to ask. I know he did. I'm just not sure what's up with all of this. He hates me getting all psychological on him but I swear all this **** started after dad came to town. I don't think the dick's still around. I'm pretty sure he either fucked off again or Ric killed him. I haven't actually asked. I kinda don't want to know, truth be told. I love my boy, so I don't much care either way. So long as dear old dad ain't around.
Actually. Things are so fucked up lately, that I've actually started dreaming about Ricky myself. I don't much like the dreams and I haven't mentioned them yet either. I guess my mind is having issues of its own. I hate seeing my super ******* confident guy reduced to this. Not that I'm ashamed of him. It just ******* breaks my heart. He's told me bits and pieces about his upbringing but man, my mind must be on overload with that **** to actually be dreaming up this stuff too. Guess my subconscious is trying to figure out why the closet is his go-to place.
Right now I push the thoughts aside. I don't need answers right this second. I know. Not like me but when your heart's breaking for you other half, you really don't give a **** about stuff like answers. All you want - all I want - is to comfort them. Him.
"Come here baby."
I tap my lap with my free hand and hope he comes over to me so I can hug the **** out of him. I could pull him over - of course I could - but I'd rather let it be his decision.
"Wanna tell me all about it?"
My voice - as it always is in situations like this - is soft, calm and sympathetic, without a trace of pity. He doesn't need that ****. He doesn't need to be made to feel worse. He needs me to be patient and understanding. I'd give him that any day of the week. Kinda. Patience is hard for me but at times like this I'm pretty good at reigning in my me-ness. No need babbling at the guy and trying to force ****. Ric only talks when he's ready. So if I have to get the story bit by bit, day by day, that's fine by me. Well it's not, but I don't have much choice in the matter. And Ric's the kinda guy that's worth waiting for in every aspect. I can handle this. Whatever it is.

[Roderic]

"I don't like him." I say with a shrug as I look up from my homework to look at the guy that's twenty three years older than me. "You don't like a lot of people, son. Me included." He replied back as he passed out the plates for dinner as Nathaniel made some idiot baby babble in the pack-n-play.

I wonder if the shrink told him I don't like him. He's not wrong. I don't like our dad. I hate him. I hate the weekends I have to spend with him and his second wife and his new kid. I'm not jealous over Nathaniel, I think it's crap that our dad thinks his dick falling into Nathaniel's mom is a casual past time. I don't say anything about liking him or not liking him. I know this trap.

"Well, he's a bum. He just sits around all day and night watching t.v. I heard that t.v. rots your brains out and he's proof of it." I tell our dad as he puts a bowl of salad out in the middle of the table. "He's not a bum, Roderic. He's unemployed and looking for work. He used to work, but times are tough. You should give him a break. Your mom likes him." I close the math text book shut with a quick snap. "She liked you." And then there was silence before a finger shot out and pointed to the room I got to use on my weekends here. "Go to your room. Now."

I stand up from the small table in the living room and stare at the guy that used to be my dad. "I don't like him and I don't like coming here either." I grab my book, narrow my eyes and here his current wife try to sooth things over by giving me another 'Now Roderic, your father...' speeches.

Her opinion means nothing to me. Her words mean nothing to me. I stalk past the both of them, close the door and decide to skip dinner. My dad is wrong. I don't like Wayne. He is a bum. A bum that smells funny too.

"I don't want to come out." I'm in the closet, whittling a piece of bone from a bear into something when Skylar opens the closet door. "I'm cool. Just working on this." I hold up the bone to show her I was working on a project. "It's for Christmas." I don't say who its for, because I have no clue, I'm just whittling away to whittle. To keep my fingers busy and mind occupied.

"Yeah. I guess I did." I admit as I run a hand over the curve in the bone I made, making sure it was smooth, like a curve should be. "It wasn't bad. Not really." I start to talk, my eyes cast down on the large bone again. "It was about my old man." She knows this, and I know she knows this without asking me who it was about. That's all it's ever been about lately.

"We just argued. Stupid kid stuff." I shrug, put the bone down next to me and reach my arms up to stretch them out. "I guess it was normal family stuff. Nate was in there." She likes my half-brother for whatever reason. He's not bad-he's just a flat out dork. But, he's my dork and I'd kill anyone that tried to mess with him or make his life rough. That's my job. "It was about some guy my mom was dating. Barely remembered his name." I sigh and stand up, whipping my hands on my boxers as I did this. "Nothing bad or crazy. Just...normal." I stand in front of her and offer her a hand. No way in hell am I sitting in her lap, talking some psychological mumbo jumbo with her. That's for pussies.

[Skylar]

If I thought about it I'd probably freak out. Issues aren't really my thing. If he were any other guy I'd be long gone. But Ricky's not just any old guy, he's my guy. So sticking around and doing the grown-up thing seems to be what I do now. For him at least.
I want to take away the bone he's playing with. I'm used to the noise of the blade grating against it. A little too used to it actually. The only good thing about all this is, is that even if Ric weren't in the cupboard, I still wouldn't be expected to clean up the shavings, cos Ric's a bit of a neat freak. And Ric's lucky that he doesn't need to worry about Blackie trying to steal the bone from him, cos the dog still avoids him like he's got the plague or something.
Seriously. What's normal in my life these days is a little fucked up. Good thing I don't really care about normal else I'd of run screaming from this life from the get go.
I listen to my boy explain his dream - what he remembers of it that is - and think it odd that my dream was so similar. Well at first I think it odd. Then I just rationalise it away. You know. Like people do. Ric's been dreaming about his dad a lot lately. So... yeah. It's natural that I'm gonna start thinking about stuff like that in my downtime. Right?
I take his hand and get to my feet. I probably shouldn't admit that I was half tempted to tug his boxers off and stay on my knees while I gave him a proper wake-up call, but I was. I'd distract myself from the conversation though if I did that. Besides, I'm sure he'll let me paw at him later. In the shower maybe.
I kiss him hard once before kissing him more gently. I may be able to resist the urge to jump him but that doesn't mean I'm a saint.
"Evenin’ babe."
I smile - briefly - before my mouth runs away with its self. Apparently I've decided that words are the way to go to keep me from pouncing on him.
"That's weird you know. Your dream. I had a dream too. About you that is. Though maybe that's normal. I mean... We've been talking about your dreams for a while now. They were bound to rub off on me sooner or later. Right? Though this isn't the first dream I've had. Just it's kinda similar to what you just described. We must be spending too much time together."
I'm teasing of course. There's ain't no such thing. I can spend every waking minute with my boy and still want more time with him.
"I dreamt I was you actually. That's weird right? I don't usually dream I'm other people. Not like that anyways. Not that last night was the first dream like that. But still. Never had dreams like that before I met you."
I nudge him playfully with my elbow.
"The dream was super cute though. In a way. Cos you were just like you. Only a mini you. Maybe my mind has a hard time thinking of you as being a kid."
I laugh.
"You got sent to your room for sassing your dad. Well. Sassing might not be the right word. Was really funny actually. You were arguing with your dad cos he was defending some loser your mum was dating and your defence, or rebuff or whatever was like, "well she liked you". I'd loved to have seen you as a kid. I mean I can so totally see you saying **** like that now, but as a kid. I dunno."
I shrug.
"I kinda like to the idea of you being all sweet and quiet and like hugging your teddy and ****."
I giggle and go quiet. I'm now painfully aware of the fact that my mouth got away from me. Not that I need to worry about that. Ric's used to me being me. If I annoy him too much with my words, he shuts me up by busying my lips in other ways. Depends on his moods. He's not above just covering my mouth and telling me to shut it. I'm sure in this day and age the woman's supposed to like be the boss of the man or something but that's so not the way we work. We're worse behind closed doors too. If I'm honest; that boy is definitely the boss of me, when we're at home at least. Good job no-one else sees that. It wouldn't do much for my street cred if they did. Thankfully I don't really have the time to think about that now. Though even if I did I wouldn't care. I'm still me.

[Roderic]

I snort when she tells me she imagined me as a kid hugging teddy bears and things like that. No way, no how. Maybe other people felt better hugging inanimate objects, but not me. I would have rather gutted that teddy bear and stuffed it with some sort of infectious disease to give to my old man or Wayne. Why didn't I think about that when I was a kid? Damnit.

"It's not weird. Well, not some of it. I don't remember talking about Wayne to you." But maybe I have. I'm pretty good at remembering the things I tell people since I don't typically say a lot, but the last couple weeks have been different. I don't feel the same about a lot of things. I feel unaccomplished. Disconnected.

"It's weird you knew what I said though. Since you only just got up. Is that some sort of power married people get?" I don't move from the closet. I'm not in a hurry to leave it. I have nothing else to do, and no where to be. But, I know that's not the real reason I don't move from it. I like it here. It's comfortable. Familiar. It's safe. Which sounds crazy because I'm sure I'm safe anywhere in the apartment-it's just me, her and the dog in here and he's no threat. Yet, something tells me there's something outside of this closet that isn't safe. It's dangerous. Maybe not to her-but to me.

Elliot? Probably. But he hasn't been on my mind for weeks. He's stronger than me, sure. Or maybe quicker. He's something than me, but I'm still not scared of that asshole. His wife? What was her name? French bimbo that treats Skylar like ****. Cake? No. Di? No. Pi. That was it. Pi. Another alias, I'm sure. It's crazy to me that people need aliases from their human life once they become a vampire. Maybe if they had been careful with their crap, they wouldn't need an alias after all. Well, not everyone can be like me, I guess.

"Going to record with the guys again tonight?" I ask, looking down at Skylar. Is my wife what's making me edgy? She is strong. But I know it's not her either. I secretly hope she says yes, so that way I can go back to whittling in my closet. I don't want to have to tell her why we're not going to do anything, why I'm staying inside again and why I'm hellbent on staying inside the closet.

[Skylar]

Ric mentions the name of mum's boy toy and I internally freak. Not sure why. Ric's wicked powerful, so nothing should surprise me. I know he can take my memories when drinks my blood and stuff, so I'm wondering if perhaps that superpower has developed into him being able to share his memories with me. I should rightly be pissed about the taking of memories. I think that from time to time but I ain't got a thing to hide from him. He's welcome to any part of me wants, memories and all.
Ric's thoughts on the subject make me giggle snort. It's not the most attractive laugh but it's better than all out laughing in his face. My boy says the cutest things. ****. He is the cutest thing.
Damn.
I'm losing my fight with myself and I know it when I wrap my arms around his neck and gaze into his dangerously dark eyes. I kinda ******* love this. Being with him. I've missed it. Not that either of us has really been anywhere. I've just been spending a lot of time with the guys recently. It's as I realise this that I suddenly feel guilty. Have I been neglecting my guy?
"I'm all yours tonight babe. Body and all."
Seems weird maybe to add that last part but it's seriously better that I keep that comment short. No need getting all mushy on his arse. I'm sure he gets what I mean. I mean I'm his no matter where I am, but tonight I don't plan to leave his side. Ricky's obviously going through something and I can't expect him to start opening up to me if I ain't around to open up to now can I?
I let my fingertips trail over the sides of his neck, my arms still about his neck.
"You know what's really weird. Your mum's guy had the same name in my dream. I remember cos it made him sound like a complete douche. The only way that name could be worse is if it were like Dwayne or something."
I'm proud of myself. And yeah. Stupid I know. But you try being this close to so much sexy and remain on topic. It's ******* difficult I tell ya. Would be worse if I weren't wearing my damn nightshirt. Wow. I'm resenting my clothing now cos it's creating a barrier between us. I should be thanking it.
Why the **** am I so horny?
Besides the obvious.
I give myself a moment to think about that as I get lost in the dark abyss that is my boy's eyes. Have I missed him? I mean it's not like much else has changed between us. Is that healthy? **** no. It's totally unhealthy but we do live and work together. Do I really have Ric withdrawal or some **** from going out too much?
I'm sure Ric can see I've checked out for a moment. He's kinda freakily observant. Way better than me. When he wants to be that is. He's probably used to me spacing out on him though. The mind of an artist isn't always the most focused thing. I'm on topic. Kinda. I'm all about the hunk in my arms. My recent songs probably prove it too. Not that Ric's heard those. Unless he's been sneaking into practice or seen them through my thoughts that is. Damn it. ******** probably knows it all.
I sigh and place a couple of kisses on his collarbone. An even number. Of course. Cos that's his thing. Or my thing. That one's kinda difficult to tell these days.

[Roderic]

I don't say anything as she rambles on. It's best to let Skylar say what she wants and needs to say because that's just the type of person she is. When she's quite because she's keeping her lips entertained on me, I decide to tell her the obvious as to why she knows Wayne's name. "It's not weird. Logically, it means I've talked about him at some point for whatever reason. That means for whatever reason, you're thinking about Wayne. Or at least your subconscious is. That's what's really weird." I just shrug and look down at her. "You probably imagined him to be crazy looking or something too, yeah?" Skylar has a very active imagination. Over-active. So Wayne probably looked nothing like he actually looked like when I was a kid. Then again, she didn't actually say she saw Wayne in her dream, did she?

Though, now that we're talking about him, I try and think back to when I might have mentioned Wayne. I'm not an overly talkative person. Or a person that shares much about my past life. She didn't even know I had a half-brother, and getting anything about my childhood out of me had been like pulling teeth. "I don't know what to tell you. Has this happened before? You dreaming things about my life?" I ask because it's not something anyone can control. I think. What if I had been dreaming about some of the people I've killed? Has Skylar had dreams like that? Nah. She would have called me out on it a while ago.

"Look, babe. I'm tired. I've been dreaming about a lot of things lately and it's been keeping me up, because I can't make sense of them." I sigh and inch away from Skylar. "Like the other night, I had a dream..." I start off, then stare at her. "Forget about it." I suddenly don't want to tell her about the dream because if I can't make sense of it, she sure can't and maybe I don't want her to know what my subconscious is thinking about when I'm not awake. "Just more stupid kid stuff." I shrug and look away from her. Past her. On the wall. "Can dreams be things that happened in your past, or is it just some made up garbage?" I ask Skylar before my eyes return to her.

[Skylar]

"Nah. Just looks like your typical douche to me."
I say that like it explains what the guy looks like. Honestly it's the best I have cos the guy looks so generic. Ain't nothing about him that stood out to me. Besides how tall he was that is, but I think that's cos I was seeing him through a kids eyes. Most of the people in these dreams seem tall to me. The same's kinda true in real life too. I'm like average height for a girl and I hang out with a bunch of guys, so being the midget in the group comes natural to me.
I shrug at his question about my dreams. Do I dream of him a lot? Probably. But well, why wouldn't I? He's super important to me. Like the most important in my life. Of course I'm gonna dream of him and make **** up. I'm bound to get it right sometimes. Right? I don't know why I thought it might be a memory of his. My crazy overactive imagination I'm sure. But just to be sure I rattle off a few of the other things I've noted from my dreams of late.
He pulls away from me a bit and I let him go. For now. I'm not the clingy sort. Am I? I never used to be but then there's something about Ric that calls to me. And before you say it, no, I'm not just some sex crazed bimbo, it's more than that. least I ******* hope it is. I dunno. The guy drives me ******* nuts and if I don't wanna **** him senseless I wanna kick the **** out of him, either way I like getting my hands on him.
Hands. ****. I need to keep mine busy. I start to use my thumb nails to pick at and flick my fingernails as my arms hang at my sides. I need to concentrate damn it. Do not jump him Skylar. You can do this.
Okay, so I'm looking at his lips but my brain's working just fine. Kinda. I can answer at least.
"I dunno babe. I don't see why not. Dreams are supposed to be the way the min works out your subconscious issues, so there's no reason why you can't dream memories. **** I dream about old stuff all the time. Though things aren't always in the right order. Like I'll be at my school and it's like my school in every aspect but Ellie will be there and Ellie was never there. I even have a dream version of my school that's totally inaccurate but in my dream I know it's right. I dunno. It's hard to explain."
I take a breath as I realise my mouth has run away with me. I'm missing something. Do I dream about him often? Something like that.
"And to answer your earlier question, you're in my dreams a lot. Have been since the day I met ya. But lately..."
How do I say this? Lately my dreams about him have been totally random, and like from his point of view? Does that sound nuts? Did I go crazy? **** it, I'll just tell him straight. That's how we roll.
"Well lately my dreams have been less kinky and more just out right strange. Like I dream as if I'm you. Like a younger you. It's left me with some wicked ideas about your childhood I tell ya. Like you playing with G.I. Joes, but I guess that's normal, cos like my brothers played with those. That's like normal for guys. Girls got Barbie, guys got G.I. Joe."
I shrug. I wasn't much one for Barbies. Not like my sister. Lexi lived for those plastic puppets. Me. Not so much. I liked whatever Brett had. I'm kinda half surprised I'm not into chicks cos of him. I smirk to myself at that thought.
"I guess most of what I've dreamt is normal kid stuff."
I shrug again.
"Playing 'I Spy' with mum, or 'Guess Who?' You flipping through page after page of animal books. Like actual animal encyclopaedias, not like kiddie books. I imagine you as pretty hard-core as a kid. Probably cos our place is filled with books on random **** like that. Though I guess it's unusual for boys to be readers. That's more of a girly thing. Not that I imagined you reading romance novels or anything. Like I said. The animal stuff. Actually... hmm..."
I give my thoughts a little nudge. Was there anything in my dreams that wasn't normal? Like anything that stood out. Besides people and places and I've never met/been.
"Thinking about it. You had some funky tastes in food in my dreams. For a kid I mean. Like I have a serious sweet tooth."
I laugh.
"That may be a bit of a simplification. You know me and food. Sweet, savoury, I love it all. But you... in my dreams... you don't have much of a sweet tooth. You liked salty stuff. And fruit. Apples. Guess that's me projecting too. Cos you know. Apples and oranges are a measure of difference in speech and well you and are more apples and bananas. I really like banana's. And no. It's nothing to do with their phallic nature before you go there."
Not that Ric's likely to go there. That's more my style. And I'm probably saying that cos my eyes have gone south. I swear I was looking at his perfect, kissable lips when I started my ramblings.
**** Skylar, stop looking at his junk!
I feel myself getting hot in the face. I'm blushing. Hopefully he'll think I embarrassed myself on my words and not because I was blatantly perving over him.
Though you know what, **** it. We're married. I'm allowed to perve. I have a hot as **** husband. Why wouldn't I eye him up? Because you're supposed to be focusing on the conversation Skylar. That's why. Oops.
I distract myself by stretching and jumping up and down on the spot to try and rid myself of a little excess energy. I know I look like a nut, but Ric's used to it. I think. Once I've bounced a couple of times on the balls of my feet, I start to do my nervous click, click, clap thing with my hands. I'm not really nervous. Am I? Maybe. My hot as sin hubby is tied to lunatic and I'm pretty sure he knows it. Oh well. His problem, not mine.

[Roderic]

"Reading isn't for girls. Reading is for anyone who wants to use their brain." I get a little defensive about my habits from when I was a kid. "And I only owned a couple G.I. Joe's. My old man bought them for me before-before they split." Before he banged Nate's mom and Aliyah's mom. I didn't add that in, but Skylar would know without me saying those few things. She knows the past of my old man and his track record of screwing around.

"There wasn't a lot of sweets at my mom's house." Because she could buy a bag of apples that would last longer than a few cookies, or a lot of bananas for cheap compared to those cookies. I also leave that part out. I'm not ashamed that my life wasn't as grand as my wife's growing up, my mom did the best she could as a single parent, but I don't want Skylar to do the typical Skylar thing and get emotional and feel bad for me and my upbringing. I don't feel bad about it. I don't complain about it. It's just how it was and nothing more could be done about it.

"Wait." I watch her jump up and down and start spazzing out in her typical Sky fashion. "Stop that." I reach my arms out and grab both her shoulders and try to force her to stop jumping all around the closet in our apartment. "I've never told you about any of that. I didn't even remember most of that stuff you just said." I know for a fact I didn't remember the types of toys I had because I didn't have a lot of them and didn't play with what I had a lot. I liked to read.

But there's something that's troubling me. More than the fact she knows about the toys I played with, or the typies of food I ate. Why was I, why were WE dreaming about Wayne? "This is ******* weird." I finally say before leaving the closet. "I'm going to shower." Because I want to get away from her. I'm pretty sure whatever is going on has to be because of her. No one else dreams stuff about my life, but her. "We can do whatever you want tonight." I want to move past the topic of Wayne and my childhood because I'm feeling uneasy and anxious and even cagey. I need to get away from Skylar because I'm not comfortable with her digging around in my past.

[Skylar]

Shower.
Okay. One track mind much.
Damn it Skylar. What the **** is wrong with you?
I shrug to myself.
I stilled under Ric's hands. Of course I did. If my guy wants me to stop bouncing, I'll stop bouncing. Stilled my hands too. But I think that's just cos he touched me.
**** me, I'm a goddamned mess for my man. What's wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me? Why am I so horny? Maybe I've spent too much time away from him. Yeah. It's gotta be that. Gotta remember to get my daily fix cos this kinda energy is weird. I'm like beyond horny.
"Let's multitask."
I sound a little too eager as I say this but seriously, it's distracting. Here I am trying to behave and he mentions showering. Ric naked. Ric wet. Mmm.
I wait for Ric to pass me and wrap my arms around his waist. It's difficult to move like this but who cares. I love being wrapped around him.
Damn it. I think I did actually miss spending so much time with him.
I'm almost too far gone to feel what Ric is. He's unnerved. I'm horny and he's distracted. Oh well. It's not like I'm not used to being on a different page to him. Hell Ric and I pretty much live on different planets; yet somehow we work well.
"There ain't no need to stress Ricky."
I kiss his back.
"We'll sort this out."
I'm talking about his being in the closet issue. There's gotta be a reason for it and it might be linked to his dreams. Or my dreams. Maybe my superpower has gone wonky and I'm picking up more than just his emotions now.
To distract myself from serious thought, I try to think about what I wanna do tonight. I strip out of my nightdress and peel my slippers off by standing on the backs of them with my toes. Honestly I don't much care what we do. I could sit and watch him work - for a little while at least; it's not that he bores me or anything it’s just that I find it hard to sit still at times. I guess I could mess around on my guitar while I watch him. So long as I play stuff that doesn't drive him nuts. Games. Sex. Work. Hmm... I wonder if he'd read to me if I asked him to? He's got a great voice and he's not a big talker, so that would be one way to hear more of him.
"And I don't much care what we do babe. So long as you're with me and I'm with you."
I wait for Ric before stepping in the shower. His emotions were a bit weird and I'm now half worried he might bolt. Weird things spook him and I don't have that nifty little superpower he does, so I can't summon him back to me if he leaves.

[Roderic]

She's overly optimistic and sometimes it makes me want to stab my wife. It honestly wouldn't matter who it was, the thought would be the same through and through. My mood has darkened as our banter goes back and forth, and I'm sure she'll feel it the second I enter the small space of the bathroom. So, just before I enter the bathroom, I stop and stand in the doorway.

And she kisses my back and I tense up. This conversations got me on edge and feeling all sorts of things, but mostly, I don't want anyone touching me. Even my wife. I let her move around me, still standing in the doorway, fighting the urge to do something physical with my hands. Strangle her. Get a knife and stab her. Discard the idea of the shower and go find an animal to gut. Dig deep inside their core and pull out their insides, see the taint of red on my hands and the sign of life vanish from their eyes as they take their final breath. Yeah, I think killing something right about now would make me feel a thousand times better.

The light in the bathroom has always bothered me. I think this as she switches the light on and turns the shower on. It's bright, but I know it has to be for the obvious reasons. Hygiene, mostly. Ever try shaving in a room cast mostly of shadows? You'd look like an idiot. Both my arms find a place on the edge of the door frame and I stare at her, still remaining where I am. "I don't want to figure it out. I don't want us to figure it out. It's not something I talk about. Not someone I talk about." There is a defensiveness to my voice. Is it because Skylar's seen snippets of my past, or is it for some other reason? I feel protective of my childhood.

I stare at the water as it falls from the shower head. She's blocking most of it, but I'm looking past Skylar. Listening to the water and not her. "I-I changed my mind about the shower. You go ahead." I state after blinking and regaining my focus on the room as a whole and not just one or two aspects of it. "I'll be at my work bench." Both my hands drop from the door way before I back out of it and head back into the bedroom.