There was nothing glamorous about death. Sad but true - death was not sweet and charming as so often portrayed in the movies; a gentle smile, a final sparkle of the eyes, one last caress, and an almost romantic fade to black scenario. Watching a loved one reach the end of the line, witnessing the struggle within as they tried to escape death, could be pure torture. Aaron’s uncle Tony had died from cancer when Aaron was just 8-years old. It wasn’t a quick, painless passing to the “other side”; turn the page from life to death in an instant. No, it was a lingering, creeping death, the cancer being the bad seed, the thorn within that had no cure and continued to spread like cyanide flowing through the contaminated bloodstream. The only positive was that the family could say their final goodbyes as they waited, killing time, for the day that never comes, until, of course, it finally arrived. On such days, the world is blanked out. Nothing else matters except for the overwhelming grief and the unnamed feeling of utter despair. A totally helpless sensation takes over as the realization sinks in: the wait is over; death has arrived."Darkness, imprisoning me, all that I see, absolute horror. I cannot live, I cannot die…"
There is also the instant death, the death that is completely unexpected when no goodbyes can be exchanged and no outstanding issues can be resolved. That was the case with Aaron’s father, Raymond. Nobody suspected that 11th September, 2001 would be the abusive father’s final day, that the fire-fighter would be one among thousands for whom the bell tolls. Guilt was in the eye of the beholder, and Aaron was always held responsible in his father’s eyes for his mother’s decent into alcohol and painkiller dependency. Raymond Hunter’s sudden death prevented any kind of reconciliation. There was no opportunity to purify his soul and have the burden of guilt released from his shoulders. Aaron would remain the unforgiven son. Aaron hated his father’s holier than thou attitude and the fact that he held himself unaccountable for his wife’s demise. At the funeral, Aaron had shown no remorse for his alleged crimes, as he believed that the real culprit, his father, had finally received his comeuppance… and justice for all, right?
How strange that now, faced with his own imminent death at the hands of the thing that should not be - the vampire huntress – Aaron’s opinion had radically changed. He continually asked himself a question: “Am I evil?” to which he repeatedly answered with “Yes, I am.” This assault was his punishment. He had been sentenced to death. The merciless female killer had surely been sent to seek and destroy Aaron.
One of the worst things about a beating is that although the wounds heal, the memory remains. The damn had been breached by the fiery demons in his head, and all the horrific memories that had been trapped under ice were now flooding into Aarons’s crazed brain as his defences melted away. He began to lose his grip on reality as he clung on to the frayed ends of sanity, his mind twisting and turning through the never, trying to assimilate what was happening. The physical pain was intense, almost incomprehensible, as the vampire’s whiplash claws tore at his flesh, her lust for blood the fuel that drove her forward. It was a frantic assault, a battery, a blitzkrieg of suffering. It was like being inside an electrical storm with bolts of pure energy crashing into him. Aaron tried to ride the lightning attack, but he had no chance of survival. He stood at the edge of the abyss, poised to jump in the fire and face the demons, face some kind of monster that had tormented him for decades. Would his own inner demons come to his aid? Would he be able to fight fire with fire? Would St. Forgiveness rescue him with open arms from this devil’s dance and say “welcome home, all is forgiven”, or would St. Anger cast him aside to the Grim Reaper, the Harvester of Sorrow?
On his deathbed, Aaron’s uncle Tony gave some words of wisdom to his family. He said that he now understood the meaning of life: that to live is to die because it completes the circle of life. So what did that mean? Was Uncle Tony suddenly enlightened or was he simply stone cold crazy because the cancer had pickled his brain and left him in a sanitarium? Aaron was about to find out, as an inner voice spoke to him, telling him “that was just your life, now it’s time for your death”. Childhood bedtime stories took over his consciousness as Aaron regressed, soothing his dying body, as the voice told him to take its hand and head off to Neverland. Then there was nothing, and his mind blackened. Exit light, enter sandman…
