Zodiac's Grimoire and Diary

[Zodiac]

Volume 10. Pg 108
5/15/2015 2:29 AM

*taped into her diary with the title CAT-TASTROPHE! above it*

Call Denny Crane or Allen Shore! Emergency!

A great little gag gift from a friend of mine. It did make me wonder how herself was able to wander the town like she owned it and never ran afoul of the local dog wardens (or whatever they call them up here in Canada). I had to break her out of an animal control van in Idaho once years ago, but so far nothing new. Still, I wonder. With all the things and people who would consider her fat self a healthy meal roaming this town, is a wonder she never returns with battle damage. Hell, me and have the night crowd I know can't take 3 steps without someone taking a stab or the occasional pot shot at us. Her? La-dee-da! Strut, strut, strut!

Is confusing.

Anywho, the fracture hunt is still turning up zip. There is a secret to this and of course no one is letting me in on it as usual. Is fine, is good. When the whole town turns into a zombie apocalypse and the price of blood packs hit 10k because there is hardly any people left to get any from because they all became zombie chow, they can't blame me. (They will, of course, but **** them-my conscious is clear on this one. Last one had it messed it up and so far it wasn't me.)

Our almighty 'Administrator' has been silent again. Thank the goddess for small mercies. Pretty much what I figured. He stirred the pot and let everyone run wild now. Why do I hear the bleating of sheep now when a new rumor appears on the subject of the fractures? Get the power, get the power. My preparations are almost done now in case what I saw in the cards does happen. Some have asked me about it, but I have given up trying to explain things to most. The laughter is getting old now. How many things have I predicted spot on, yet they treat me like the psycho gypsy lady in the old horror movies when I tell them what I see coming. Screw them. Screw them all.

That about covers things for now.

[Zodiac]

Volume 10. Pg 119
6/5/2015 4:27 AM


Thank you, 'Strawberry Moon'. If it wasn't summer before, it is now. Feels good not to have to huddle in front of the fireplace all the time now. Actually go out in bare feet and enjoy the nights rather than the usual fare.

Things have been quiet as of late. Was there ever more famous last words for this place? As always, a calm before a storm type of quiet. Even the owls are on the quiet side now, which is not too surprising for them, but then again.

Personally? It's the proverbial waiting for the other shoe to drop deal. The hunt for the fractures continue and I keep hearing how people are finding them. So far I have had no luck in this endeavor. I get tired too easily anymore and the inside track the thing has appeared in a certain area is not much help considering where these things choose to appear. Try to cover ever inch of possible ground alone within both malls and you will see what I mean. You can't do it! Or at least I can't.

But the debate of finding or not finding one is secondary compared to the results of things surrounding them. Twice now I have woken up to being mauled by an Alpha that was encouraged into our plane of existence thanks to people messing with these damn things. A while back, Jennifer and myself encountered a odd sort of gentleman my senses told me was not from here inquiring about them. Very odd, as if he knew they would be here. Is like the event is a magnet now, drawing in others to this place. Why is the big question. I still can't shake the feeling this is all going to turn out badly no matter which way things go and I have all but exhausted any kinds of preparations I can manage for a envisioned future. More supplies? Weapons? Ammo? Half my workers think I have gone insane (well, insane more so than normal. Except for Chain. He must think it's Christmas or something by now.) But I can't ignore it. Also, people are being very quiet about what they actually do once they find one of these things. It's natural, I suppose. This way if a chain of results spawns do to a certain set of actions most can claim 'it wasn't my fault!' as normal. My best guess is people are sucking the energy from these things. Have noticed too many with an extra spring in their step lately. It's their decision and I am not about to yell at anyone for doing it, but how is everyone going to react if this flips us out of the frying pan into the proverbial fire is my real question. Self preservation, of course.

They will cover their own asses just as I am covering mine. *orders a few more cases of shotgun shells*

[Zodiac]

Volume 10. Pg 127
6/21/2015 2:27 AM

Litha returns to us, blessed be!

The summer solstice is upon us again. Sucks for the 'night only' types with only a estimated 9 hours of darkness, but that is their problem. The glorious warm is upon us now and its time to sing and dance and enjoy. The Thunder Moon will be here soon as well, so people will be seeing less of me in the shops for awhile. So much to do, so much to do.

The 'fracture frenzy' seems to be calming down now. They are still appearing, of course, but I think the excitement is finally ebbing away. And with my luck, one actually appeared inside of the Eye when I was hip deep in stuff elsewhere. I really hope to get a chance to eyeball one of these. The descriptions others give of them are quite dull and lacking in details. One would think anyone seeing such a thing would take notes or at least be awestruck to the point some details imprinted on their brains, but I feel they were more afraid someone would beat then to claiming the 'power boost' these things are giving those who 'absorb' (their term, not mine) the energy from them.

So yeah. What did it look like? How did it act?

"Ermm, it was....yeah, that. Just like that. I gotta go now." as their eyes glow a bit as if a battery had been hooked up inside their heads.

Thanks a lot, numbnuts.

So outside of waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop on this fracture nonsense, not a lot is happening now. That is not a bad thing, mind you. I for one don't mind these periods where life runs at a low gear. When you can coast along rather than be running every second of the night and day. Part of being what I was before being turned was a slice of lazy- the right kind of lazy, mind you. Working and making money? I a dynamo, but you have to have those times when the most important thing you need to do is make sure the fire is out under the tea kettle before you go to sleep. I have to have those days to kick back, read, create, and work on more personal things. Got a plethora of family history to absorb yet as well as organizing spells and such.

Now of course nothing lasts forever. As frantic as my day goes normally, I have made future plans to add even more to it. Found a storefront for a reasonable price and scooped it up the other day. Yes, I am considering opening a 4th venue now. Of course, what will be for sale is the big question. Too many places offering the same thing floating around now. Only way to make that dollar properly is to offer something no one else is doing. You can't swing a cat (not you, Ginny) without hitting a place that does tattoo work. Nothing against them at all. I have my own and plan for more in time, but you get the idea. Unique will make or break this deal. Maybe a magic shop? Not Magick, but street magic. Card tricks and vanishing rabbits kind of stuff. I used to do that kind of stuff as part of my act, so I need to see if there is a real interest in such things. A party place. Rent some clowns and performers for parties?

No, I am not going to open the official church of the divine Miss Ginny, so stop staring at me!

Anyways, enough for now. Time to get ready for some skyclad dancing and making some new midsummer's night memories. Peace out.

[Zodiac]

6/23/2015
10:15 PM

So this was what everyone was getting so excited about.

The girl marveled at the sight above her. So beautiful, yet so dangerous.

A visible tear between this world and the shadow realm. Unlike a fade portal, which was fixed , this phenomenon moved about like it was alive like a fish swimming in place. It was nothing short of amazing, but more like a double edged sword kind of amazing.

Zodiac tried to look into the darkness that occasionally showed itself, but saw little. Some said it was a new path into the Shadow Realm, so the urge to stick her head inside was lacking (she feared going in there for some reason she could never fully grasp) She admired the colors for a bit longer before pulling out her tomes and searching for the proper way to seal it up.

***

"Oh, c'mon, princess. I am not even breaking a sweat here!" The taller, redheaded vampiress smirked as the smaller Zo tried to escape the hold she had her in again and was failing miserably.

***

Zodiac paused as a memory floated in her head. An old one, actually. What had brought that back to the forefront of her thoughts?

***

"Hey, you hit me hard enough, we get the bounty!" the pole dancer said. The mystic balled up her fist and nailed her as hard as she could. "Goddamn, Zo, I've been hit by nastier powder puffs. Put some effort into it!"

***

Again, she blinked and looked up at the colors that almost seemed to be calling to her now.

***

She finally managed to catch up to the team just in time to see the mark collapse into a pile of ash. "We're gonna start sending you to the gym, little one. You need to keep up."

***

It was tempting her. The mystic could not explain how it was doing it, but suddenly every shortcoming she felt she had (real or imagined) was suddenly bubbling up in her thoughts. The rift was a shortcut to power some had said, but what future cost would claiming such power cost them as a whole? She had debated the issue several times and was sure if she found one she would do the right thing, but now she was having doubts not only about what to do but about herself as well.

She took a deep, unneeded breath and tried to clear her mind.

She wanted to do the right thing.

***

"What the hell was that? You go to the Tourney, draw a human half your size in the first round and she kicks you *** all over the place! What the **** kind of vampire are you?"

***

The tome slipped from her fingers as her eyes grew dark.

"I want to be strong like everyone else is." she sighed as her arms reached up, allowing her fingertips to touch the lights above her. She gasped as she suddenly felt connected to something. Something larger, stronger than she had ever experienced before. The rush she felt flowing into her was ecstatic, filling her with an unholy joy.

Just as quickly as it started, it was gone. She looked up and only saw a normal view of the ceiling above her. The lights and the void were gone without a trace. As the rush began to fade, she cupped her hands over her mouth. "No,no,no,no," she whined softly. Despite feeling stronger than ever, part of her was in abject shock at her actions. It was so easy and whatever was causing these things to appear knew what buttons to push apparently to encourage someone to do what she just did.

"Guess I am still weak after all," She gathered her things and left the building in silence.

[Zodiac]

Volume 10. Pg 132
7/8/2015 12:05 AM

Busy days. Canada Day, 4th of July (GO TEXAS!) and the 'Thunder' Moon have passed and a Blue Moon is coming. Now we slip into the aspects of dull summer. The dog days await us soon and after that the whispers of winds encouraging the leaves to announce the coming of fall. But its WARM now!

Still, always something to do. Got 3 potentials picked out to decide from for the newest business venture in this town. Just have to take the time to sit and decide what is best. Then more work (does it ever get easier around here?) Oh why wasn't I born rich? No wait, if I had been I never would have come here to begin with. Maybe that would have been a good thing.

Yeah, I am getting bored again. It happens.

Damn it.

Finished my notes on my fracture experience (SEE BOOK 4 IN SAFE) and now am just bored again. Nothing to do now but wait for the apocalypse. I still can't shake the feeling. I have tried talking to a few, but most react in typical fashion which is to laugh at me, say I'm crazy and go about their own business. Actually I am getting sick of being used to such reactions, but it comes with the territory of my profession. I need some excitement again. Some reason to get excited for waking up besides standing behind a cash register sounding like Ahpoo in The Simpsons all "Thank you-come again!"

One offer of 'excitement' still stands I imagine, but I still can't shake the idea it would backfire on me big time. You know what I am talking about, book. That stuff I write in the other journal? The black one? Yeah, the naughty one. (note to self: find a better hiding spot for that one) But no, not quite the excitement I am craving now. When this all first began, I was all wide eyed and amazed. A carnival of darkness and weird wonders beyond the norm, but the carnival is not adding any new acts to the show, so hence the boredom is sinking in again.

I need a new thrill. Something to get my dead heart actually trying to pump again.

Until then, just work away, little girl. Work away.

[Zodiac]

7/14/2015.
8:36 PM

She stood in the clearing as dusk began to fall. Waiting. Bare feet nestled softly in the soothing grass, the gypsy waited in anticipation. Bouncing softly as she watched for her to appear. Too often she was kept from such a thing as this, but in her heart she never forgot her. Her thoughts often turned to her when she found herself busy tending her clients or helping friends in raids and other bits of her new continued existence. Being a child of the night was a lot more work than she ever imagined it would be. Being a vampire was supposed to be fun, if one accepted the clap trap most chose to write about in cheap paperback books. Granted, there were moments like that now, but they were few and fleeting.

But a few things were, apparently, eternal and she smiled as she saw her appear now. Bright and shining as she cut a path thought the gathering darkness. Without hesitation, the mystic undid the scarves that held her long ebony and purple tinged locks in place and let them fall to the ground. She began to dance slowly, seductively, around the clearing. Spinning around in slow circles, she began to whisper her thoughts to the object of her affections.

" When my love, shows her face,
wrapped in night's, dark embrace

When she smiles, for all to see,
yet I know, it's just for me,"

Her mental voice sang sweetly now as she continued to dance. As she moved, more of her clothing began to join the scarves lying on the ground. Her body, mind and spirit was one now as she moved to music only she could hear. She danced for her love now, unashamed and openly. Clothing only kept her from being seen totally by the object of her affections.

" How I long, to take a chance,
to hold her close, and start to dance,

but I am small, and she is grand,
and I cannot, reach her hand,"

Finally she was skyclad as she continued her dancing. Now she felt free, contented, adored. Hands flowing into graceful patterns to match the movement of her hips. The slight cool of the night forgotten now as she basked in her presence. The outside world lost and forgotten now as she moved and displayed herself in the sight of creation and the night.

" Yet every night, she comes to me,
glowing brightly, for all to see,

Whispers softly, to my heart,
both of us, one in the dark,"

She danced faster now. The joy consuming her now. She was in the eye of her lover now, so she moved to please her, call to her, seduce her and tempt her down from her loftily perch to join her. If only to hold her in her arms for but a moment. Come to me, come to me, make me complete yet again. Tease me not, my love. My desire, my passion. It was a love that shined upon her during her first moments outside of the womb and had always been part of her ever since.

"A little child, the light of the dark,
Blessed in night, never to part."

A final flourish and she froze in place. Her eyes filled with the light from her lover as she smiled. Fangs exposed. There were no secrets between them. She was at peace and the things that consumed her during the day and night were forgotten now. Nothing mattered more than this moment in her existence. Like a mortal bathed in the river to be 'born again' she felt the weight and burdens upon her spirit melt away. She stood clean, renewed and whole again thanks to the blessings of her above. Slowly, reverently, Zodiac sank to her knees and spread her arms wide as she basked in the light of her true love, her original love, her first love. The Moon.

Original poem by me. "My nocturnal love" or Zodiac's song to the Moon.
Copyrights and such claimed. This will appear again in the Zodiac book my mind keeps drifting to, despite the fact I have 2 other books I am still trying to finish now. Stay tuned for details.

[Zodiac]

Volume 10. Pg 149
7/30/2015 9:45 PM

The Blue Moon is here! The next 'Blue Moon' won't occur till 2018, so if you are like me, you got some special magicks in store to get done tonight.

A few points of interest. The deed is final, the contracts are signed, and now Enchanted Weddings located in the 8th Dimension Mall finally has someone to work it.

Me. I know, I am ******* nuts, right?

It was inevitable Crissy and I would be working together on something business-wise. She runs the main shop and I took over the annex place, so hopefully between the two of us we can get some dreams going good for others.

Sadly, those kind of dreams often end as well. My childer, Abelle, wherever the **** she is doing gods knows what, lost the best thing that has ever happened to her this day. To be honest, I was surprised he waited this long to undo what I so happily did for them both Nov 9th 2013. Much of that time left Chaindog (my 'Son' considering how Dulce and I managed to get him past the idea of living and into our world) alone. He is a patient man, among his other positive qualities, but in my experience with men like this, once that patience finally evaporates-everything is fair game.

It broke my heart when he asked me if I would be upset with him if he did this. Me! One would think he'd wonder how Belle would take it, but no-he sought my input on the matter. It was a dream couple in my view. Abelle was cutting edge for a time, expanding and making her own marks on this place, and Chain was a man with his own ambitions and drives. I could see the two of them writing their own ticket in this town, but suddenly Abelle got bored (this is not a unusual thing for her) and began to wane in interest in her projects. What happened to her? I have no clue. Like so many of my babies, they simply fold up and vanish. I ask myself was it something I had done, but there are something's I cannot be blamed for. I taught all of mine well. How to survive, stay hidden, how to work within the shadows of this place. Chain heard these things from me as well as Dulce.

But how one's heart works is a thing of their own creation. How the world effects and changes them. You can offer advice, stand by them, try to encourage them, but something within a person only they can change and try to make better. Abelle is her own person, just as all of my childers are. What she has decided to do is her choice-no one else's.

And her long alone mate made his own choice today as well. How ironic I set myself hip deep in the wedding business now and people I have bound together are starting to break apart. Nothing lasts forever I guess. Not even love.

[Zodiac]

Volume 10. Pg 162
9/20/2015 10:58 PM

Summer silently slips away. The 'dog days' are past and the nights grow slowly colder and longer now. The Blood Moon is coming now. A lunar eclipse that for an estimated 30 minutes will turn the moon red in the sky. So much to prepare for and so little time to do it. Through history it was thought a great omen of change or event was happening when the blood moon filled the sky.

Well, I hope something happens. This entire town is getting as exciting as watching chrome rust or grass grow.

I am quite ready for the coming cold now, but I still dread it. Part of the paradox issue of being a vampire. In the summer, more prey is about, but the nights far too short, while in the depths of winter darkness is a long staying friend but the cold keeps the living hiding inside. Nothing is ever perfect.

Truth be told, I am already living like deep winter has wrapped us in its grip again. I leave my home to go work, only to return as fast as possible. Nothing out there holds my interests for long now and any desires to make a difference with anything evaporated very recently. I do nothing, thus cannot be held accountable for things that happen. Ironically, some will still try because I do nothing, but one grows bored hopping from one foot to the other trying to guess the right answer for the current situation. You are wrong no matter what? So be it, but there is no smoking gun or dripping blade pointing back to me. Be done and be damned with this never ending 'gotcha!' game.

Yes. I am sorely disillusioned now, old friend. The things my (so called) brothers and sisters of darkness are doing now concerns me deeply, but why bother to get involved? A handful of these geniuses actually thought it was a good idea to go out and declare war on the Fae by trying to kill one of their number. I think I mentioned the visit of the Siren in another entry (perhaps not in this book, but my more private one and what happened as a result of its visit) but siren or not, it is a fae (or at least an ally of them). They hardly need a reason to hate us as things are, and these guys go to pick a fight with them?

No, no, no. I have decided only 2 things can be happening now. I am either the last drop of sanity hiding away in a madhouse gone full amok, or else I have finally slipped over the edges of sanity and cannot function outside these walls for very long anymore.

Either way, isolation is best, I suppose.

"To do is to be" Nietzsche said, while Kant claimed "To be is to do"

But this is Harper Rock. More like Sinatra singing "Do be do be do" Most nights now.

Mostly....

[Zodiac]

Volume 10. Pg 169
9/28/2015 3:12 AM

The 'Blood Moon' has come and gone and sweet Mabon has passed us yet again. Now the beloved warmth and light begins to recede from us again. Entering my fifth year of this state of being, and I can still feel the cold. Not as much as before, but still. Some would say that is a good thing. That I am finally coming to terms with what I have become and accepting my destiny.

Me? It is total panic.

I never expected myself to last this long. Unlike the almost countless others who wanted this dark gift and swim in it like they were born to be such things, I was dragged kicking and screaming against my will into this. I never wanted this. Never. And now I find myself adapting and changing and it terrifies what is left of my spirit.

How much longer can I still be myself is the burning question, along with a new question.

Can this be reversed?

There is no comfort in allowing myself to expire. The shadow laced quazi world within the Nexus is basically damnation itself. Forever aware in a void filled with madness and despair? No, not my idea of an afterlife at all. It is said those who 'die' outside of the reach of the Nexus do not go to it and the doorway back to this world is denied them, but where do they go? A gentler, or more unforgiving fate?

Too many unusual 'conditions' have been documented to have 'cures' to them, so why not this?

I know what I would be giving up. Those I care for would think me mad for even considering this and they would say I would loose far more than I would regain in the process but that is a matter of what you prioritize, is it not?

So many positives in my 'life' now, but all of them are tainted with blood and darkness, and the more one pulls and feeds on these things, the deeper the stains on one's own spirit grow. Part of me dares to dream I will move one once I expire and bask in the promise of the Summerlands with Nana, but the longer I am what I have become, the less chance that can ever be.

So now I stay in exile self imposed save for work and journey on a new quest. Perhaps I am tilting at windmills in this, but I have to know. Yes. A quest. A quest for life itself. What I will find will dictate where do I go next.

[Zodiac]

Volume 11. Page 149
6/12/2016 4:07 AM


I am still no closer in discovering if there is a 'cure' to what I have become. All of the 'originals' have fallen into silence or slumber and if they did know of such a thing, they have not passed that secret to their children. 9 months I have poured over this from every direction I can think of. Correspondences to other witches and the like have come back cryptic at best. Someone somewhere had to try in the past. I cannot be the only one who is miserable this way. That defies logic and the odds to an insane level. If I am the only one, then winning the Lottery should be a breeze.

The few I have confided in locally seem to think I have grown an extra head the way they look at me when they realize I am serious on the matter. "Do you realize what you'd be giving up if you could?" seems to the be the most common reply.

I have thought of it. A lot. There are perks to being this way, I would have to be honest. If I was mortal again there would be things I could not do ever again. Teleporting, levitating, flying and other things most take for granted now. Other more basic improvements would go back to normal leaving me at a major disadvantage if confronting one of my former friends.

There is that too to consider. Would I still be a friend to some I speak with now or would I suddenly be a primitive? Nothing more than potential food? I'd still have some major cards up my sleeves to work with in such a case, but the idea that some relationships I have now would suddenly end for no other reason does disturb me greatly. Too much either way bothers me on this. Why can't I get my head around the idea? Just be a soulless monster and rampage and ravage my way through people without a second thought? September will be 6 years I have been like this.

SIX YEARS!

And I already wonder if my sanity is cracking? What happens when 6 becomes 60? Or even 600? Could I survive that long? It seems doubtful. None of those that had returned are all that old. Perhaps we aren't as immortal as we seem to think we are. That's encouraging, I guess. It is just what happens after all of this that truly has me going. 9 months now I have searched for a key to this and I am no closer to an answer. I have learned other things. Oh yes, but nothing that will help me directly.