I was not born here, but now I am stuck here. In Canada. I hate this place. I miss Mexico. I miss what my life was before, but Remington warned me. And so here we are. Speaking of the man that sired me, I have not seen him in months. Many. Maybe even longer than I think. Half a year? That sounds right.
I don't see Godric as I once did, but things had to change since Mexico. I pushed him away, and now he has another woman in his life. Nyx. I was upset at first, even jealous, but now? It's good to see him happy. I don't think we were happy. Not unless one of us had their leg wrapped tight around the other.
Andras. I don't know what to say or think about that. It is the 'familia,' Remington is part of. I know no one in it but Godric. I know of someone named Niklaus, and I know of Micah, but I don't know anyone in the family. Not really. I sometimes think of giving the thing called a tome back to Micah because I don't feel right having it. I don't use it a lot. Maybe once a week. I think I will. I don't feel part of Andras, and I don't blame anyone for that. I'm as guilty as anyone in that.
Niklaus. I find him funny, and hope to physically meet him one night. I enjoy his sense of humor and even his flirting nature. But I know nothing would come from it, so it makes me laugh. All of it. I wonder if we could be friends, or if we are too similar in some things.
I met a man named Robin Little and we worked out an arrangement. He was my personal blood donor, and the arrangement, while pricey was good. Very professional. We never mixed business and pleasure together, even if he was attractive and at times my thoughts went there. I appreciate that in the end. I haven't seen him since Elighan came into my life. I should send him some money and an apology.
Elighan. What to say about him? Too much, so I will keep it short. I enjoy pissing him off. I did. Pushing his boundaries. He came in to my life, so I inserted myself in his. I worked for him, I took over his bed and apartment, and he didn't want a single thing from me other than to do my job. Frustrating, isn't it? He didn't even want sex. Not once. I swore he was gay. Then one night I pacified him because he touched me and it made me uncomfortable when he did that. I think he was giving back what I gave him for once. One thing finally led to another, and out of all the men I've slept with since becoming a vampire, he got me pregnant with a fadebeast. Can you believe that we can have little monsters? What a pendejo. I've sort of forgiven him because it was mostly my fault, but still. I can say that he is not gay with resound certainty.
Then there is Tizoc, or Ambrose. I don't even know where to begin with that, so I might save it for another entry. What I notice now is how complex all the men are in my life, and how some mean more to me than others, even if I refuse to tell them that.