Scattered Thoughts

[Trahir Trahison]

Zombies. Zombies, zombies and more zombies. I would kill for some good old fashioned Canuck blood. Literally.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Or until they are bored with zombies. I want to be in the slums. I want the racing heartbeat of my victims in my hear. Not the low baritone thrumming of moans and the shuffling sounds of the feet dragging along the stone floor of these dreary catacombs.

I swear I am not coming back here again unless absolutely necessary.

I'm sitting in the cornet writing by the light of my phone. I hate it. I like my apartment in Veil Tower with my perfect ambiance. I like the apartment in the West Tower where I can watch my predatory reptiles and arachnids at work, their motions are damned near poetic in comparison to... this.

I've killed damned near 20 of these things. Killed is a very generous descriptor. I've hacked near 20 of these things into unrecognizable chunks of meat. Meat is also generous.

I can see why the military has this hell hole on lock down. It reeks, it's infested. I cut one down and another is down the hallway. The cacophony of the groans of the long dead is deafening. How vampires even bother maintaining a home in this place is beyond me. I'd rather sleep in the sewers. At least the hunters attempt silence.

It's almost time. Another dead thing to put to rest. Another token to take.

There. I'm getting claustrophobic down here. It's stifling. Corentine is down here too. A couple of the others working toward the same goal I am too. This entry is a mismatch for my previous ones. This one is an on location current account, not one written from the comfort of my own haven.

Two more nights of this and I'll be turning myself in to the newly opened loony-bin.

I hate zombies.

[Trahir Trahison]

During my mortal life, I know I hate to speak of it, I had the fortune, or misfortune depending on one's views, to move around a lot. I grew fascinated with different cultures, languages, social nuances and as a result became accustomed to abiding by a somewhat rigid code of conduct in social gatherings. I had friends who told me I was too formal, but in truth I found their loose lips and inept social fumbling to be distasteful. That is what led me to be the loner I was and inevitably endeared the woman who would become my wife to me as well.

I was asked to attend a meeting this evening. I acquiesced and went with all due haste. While there I was asked a plethora of questions ranging from my birthplace, social status, intentions and tones on a post on CrowNet, Loyalty, and a few other minor things.

None of that told me anything. It was statements made in between questions I found the most telling. A name was brought up repeatedly. A name I know very well. I played ignorant initially of course. The soul-bound mate to the woman I view as being much as a sire to me. Initially the line of questioning spoke of their bloodline and my potential desire to be invited into it's membership. I marked the tone then and waited. Topics came and went, I answered what I could, learned a few trinkets of information, nothing overly valuable but enough to make the trip worthwhile just for curiosity's sake in my opinion.

Near the end of the conversation the name I referred to earlier was brought up more and more. I have attended masked balls, begged money for my department in university from jaded and spiteful old men and women in attendance for the sake of false altruism, there in truth for a tax break, not any sense of love for humanity or the causes which could further the species they are a part of. This meeting very much ended with the same feeling.

It was not a meeting to ask questions for the sake of answering that which the self desires to know, but to glean information for another I think. It was intended to ascertain my intents not as a vampire, but as a man toward a woman who is not just married, but bound body and soul to another.

Quite insulting really. A simple question near the start of our conversation when I mentioned my instructors name repeatedly could have saved us both much time.

Nonetheless I feel I have gained some small measure of knowledge. I know now that solid food will elude me even after I bridge to the path of the Allurist. I will have to work independently on gaining the ability to eat and drink as I once could and even then I shall never taste the subtle flavors and enjoy the nuances of each dish, every glass of wine...

That knowledge is damned close to debilitating... I digress.

The undertone of the conversation was very much one of subterfuge but the execution was heavy-handed. Blatant.

I have set up a meeting with the husband of my sire (pro tem?) for tomorrow night. I hope to straighten everything out then, retain all my body parts and further my cause on becoming a member of the faction which I have come to believe fits me best.

((At the bottom of the journal entry is a long smudge.))

~This is a transcription of the original copy which is in Micah's possession~

[Trahir Trahison]

A communal haven. Last night Corentine and I stayed in one for the first time. Andras. That is the lineage that I have become. Velveteen is my sire and Corentine seems to have come alive. She became very excited at the news of our adoption and as endearing as it was, I stopped her jubilant revelry. She has grown to mean much to me. More than I perhaps want to admit and much more than I had noticed. I believe she intends my childe, Jon Masterson, harm. While I don't care about him at all I am not sure she should so quickly engage him physically. He is an unknown quantity on the from of physicality. I would not have her hurt attempting to do what a disenthrallment ritual and a social snubbing may accomplish without the danger of her being harmed. If she persists I will likely take matters into my own hands and rid her of him myself.

Being summoned was a unique experience, one that I should try to get used to. Being rennt from one location to another was disconcerting but I trust Micah and Velveteen both. Andras is not like Tytonidae, one is a family and the other a group of like-minded individuals who work together as a unit with military precision. It is often said that Tytonidae (or Ty as I have seen if abbreviated) is the best at what they do. I crave that level of notoriety for myself. I want to be known as the best at what I do.

Self-reflection has brought to mind the question... what do I do? I own several condominiums but I am not a realtor. I put down the walking dead, ancient zombies and the likes but I am not a ghostbuster. I kill violent gang members but I am not a vigilante. What am I? Some bizarre amalgamation of my paltry accomplishment wrapped up in a sanguine engorged husk? Just a killer? More than human? Less?

These questions I will not ask of my sire, how could she know? Introspection and honest self-analysis is the only approach perhaps to ascertain what my place in this existence truly is. Where I fit.

I am Trahison, I am Killer, Quartermaine, Vedarian, Andras. That does not define me though. Andras perhaps does more than the rest for that was a fully conscious decision made of a seeking and sound mind. I am again in a way a family man.

I go now to meet with Aysel El-Sayed. She had hoped to meet last evening but Corentine and I were sidetracked happily with our induction into Andras. I can't help but wonder the motivations that everyone around me have of late and though I have been told that placing too much trust in people is not wise, I feel as though the three I do trust fully, Micah, Velveteen, and of course Corentine are the right ones to do so with.

We shall see.

[Trahir Trahison]

The soiree we attended went well. There was some minor power jockeying near the end, Corentine made me want to pull her fangs out with a pair of rusty pliers a couple of times during the evening but all in all I was very impressed at her being social. I won't say I believe it is a strength of hers but she was at least open and willing to try.

As for myself I found the evening informative and at points amusing. Micah's expression when one of his childer explained they had taken apart a weapon he had given to her was priceless. I would hate to see the caliber of the thing prior to it becoming so much scrap metal. I gave her a gun and a blade that I had used in my earliest nights, a couple I had purchased from the auction.

A pity there was no trivia this time around. I quite enjoyed that aspect of the last salon, the one where I was introduced to what is now my family.

Gustavve and Lolong are doing well. They seem happy. I may move onto my next phase of testing shortly. First I would like to relocate them somewhere I may have a bit more privacy. That mansion I have looked at seems very much a perfect place for them. I am not sure how long it will take to amass the financial assets needed to purchase it though...

I asked about the two rituals I would like to have performed, the first of course is the bonding and the second one will create a new lineage of vampires from my own blood, allowing me to be free of my absentee and unknown sire. Corentine of course is more interested in freeing herself from Revelation for a different reason. She wishes to kill him. My childe. I'm not sure what to think of that course of action. Sending them to Lancasters was meant to aid them in starting productive unlives, now she wishes to end his. While I am far from adverse to killing I'm not sure that she is aware entirely that she can't indeed kill him. She will simply be able to destroy him for a short time and then he would be back once more. Likely with a vengeance. She may well indeed be picking a fight that will become a permanent fixture in her existence.

[Trahir Trahison]

The questions have slowed, there haven't been any lately though there have been several meetings. I quite enjoy mingling with some of the others. Many of them are cautious, guarded. They seem to enjoy jockeying for positions. There are compliments that are unearned and bathed in, insults unwarranted and agonized over, and promises made and forgotten. All in all it's very much the same as any of the fundraisers I attended as a mortal. Nothing too different other than the fact that at the root we are a band of blood drinking spirit creatures pretending to be petty humans.

I haven't gotten too much into the politics. I did attend my first hunt. A violator with repeat offenses. They went down very quickly. From what was said that isn't necessarily the case though with the amount of firepower that was leveled against the individual I'm somewhat surprised to find that is the case. One more violator down and now the wait begins for the next one.

Corentine has a new instructor. I am none too thrilled with that. I don't know what this person knows, their goals seem simple and when I asked Corentine to tell me what was said during their meeting I couldn't really ascertain any of this vampire, Helena's intent. She is older than I am to be sure and I have seen her around, the first time at the grand opening of Zakar and Aysel's lounge. From that encounter I learned only that she prefers aged men and knows something of Europe (this gleaned from Trivia answers). Corentine is mine though. Her instruction ultimately falls to me as she is quick to point out that it is my own fault she requires instruction. Entrusting her to someone I know nothing of is akin to handing a total stranger the keys to your house, your ATM card, your car and your wife and being expected to feel good about it.

I don't feel good about it.

Logically any older vampire should know more and be able to instruct better but I have not gauged this woman's traits. Is she intelligent? Is she loyal? Is she a good instructor? How am I to know. Of course I didn't argue as my sire seemed quite pleased with the choice and we were not alone. One can make a name for themselves early by making a scene and then handling the aftermath in a cunning and ingenious way but a simple tantrum is never remembered with any fondness.

I'm finding myself in the catacombs more and more often lately. Killing zombies has become a bit of a routine for me. I am learning more and more about the powers laying dormant in my dead flesh and how to bring them out. Already the blush of life flows through my corpse and I look like any other well sunned guy out there. I can manage my memories which I have started to do. Soon I believe I will erase the most painful memories of my past so I can truly start anew with Corentine.

[Trahir Trahison]

Tonight was interesting. Some rapscallion decided to invite themselves into a lair where they were less than welcome and I again had the privilege of seeing my hopefully future cohorts in action. Once again the deed was done efficiently and with no casualties but the intended target. I quite admire the effectiveness of the strategy used by the protectors of the Masquerade. Brutal, fast, effective. It's like a blitzkreig only in reverse. Instead of visiting lightning warfare upon one's adversary they are instead brought to the killing field. Alas I was unable to get a clear shot at the man since it was over too quickly.

The event interrupted a small get together with Helena and Nishaa, both who I find overly blunt but not in too distasteful a fashion. I believe they mean well toward me, they spoke of the necessity of friendship between faction mates and while I disagree that it is an immediate requirement I understand that a group that has long stood together feels the bonds between them as being as relevant as the purpose of the group itself. My view is that by fulfilling the purpose of the faction together the bond will come in time. I believe they find my dated parlance to be an oddity, perhaps a source of amusement so I tried to bring some further levity to our conversation with a joke or two though I'm not perhaps known for my sense of humor and I believe they may have fallen flat. Perhaps I shall need to invest in a fedora and zoot suit after all to get a rise from them.

Corentine was absent from the apartment this evening though I did see her briefly at the hotel and while I was skulking around the catacombs earlier killing more ancient zombies and mooncalves. I am definitely in need of a change of scenery. Though I like the dark after a while the walls seem confining and a sort of tunnel vision begins to set in.

Micah has deigned to aid me in separating my blood from that of my absentee sire. A new line of vampire was created and with his assistance I am it's progenitor. Though I am avus to Corentine right now I fear her distaste for my mistake, Revelation may prompt her to seek a similar disassociation from him and by extension, myself. This is an appalling thought to be true as I want to further bind her to me, not see the extant bonds shattered. Waking up from torpor next to her was amazing and I find myself enjoying the thought of doing that for eternity.

I have asked Velveteen about businesses. I would like to start my own venture once I understand the basics and have enough capital to do so on my own under my own terms. Though I have heard of some individuals giving loans for this purpose I find that the thought of owing someone galls me.

Tomorrow I believe I will head to the slums for a change of pace.

[Trahir Trahison]

The new crest. I think I like it though I'm not too sure about the fonts I used. Computers are not my strong point. I may have to ask someone else to give it a try. Perhaps I will brainstorm with Cori if she has time later on. I had thought of superimposing the Quartermaine and Andras crests, one on each wing but since not all of my lineage may find themselves adopted into the line (I had not thought to ask my sire or Micah if that was the case) I decided to wait for a while on that. I have started looking at rings for Corentine as well. I have made up my mind, I wish to bond with her. I've not yet spoken with her in depth about my desire for us to bind, nor have I expressed my thoughts on our new lineage. Perhaps I should do that before too long.

I've not been back to the hotel, spending my time within the depths of the catacombs, the slums and the hunting grounds. There is something bothering me, though what it is causing it I don't yet know. Not even the violence has managed to shake this unease growing within me. Perhaps I am feeling stagnant. Like there is something I should be doing. I am certain it will reveal itself in time.

I learned yet another way to use my vampiric powers, it allows me to change my form during battle, turning my body into a larger mutated form that has proven quite lethal. It seems to be similar to the werewolves of myth without the fur. While in this form I am large, my claws and fangs much more fearsome, my strength enhanced, my dexterity and stamina increased to impossible levels. Of course I must use this sparingly, it wouldn't do to have mortals witness the transformation.

I was outbid on the gun I was wanting on the auction too. Pity, I very much coveted it for my own.

I'm still looking at properties around the city and as before my eye is drawn northward. The thought of a mansion greatly appeals to me though getting the finances together for such a massive endeavor is time consuming and difficult. I think I will wait for the price on real estate to drop slightly before making a move to buy it.

Back to the crest... I believe I will create a few examples and ask the few acquaintances I have made in the city for their opinions.

[Trahir Trahison]

I sparred last night for the first time with my sire. The lesson was quite painful. My skull is fractured, I can feel it in multiple locations. Something is wrong with my back and I am fairly certain I have some broken ribs. She hits hard for being so small. I've gained a new respect for her but found something in a process. Something I need to work on. I will have to refocus my training now to incorporate my vampiric strengths and to counter those of others. There is no pain that doesn't bring a lesson and no knowledge that is without power. In going through these tribulations during my early nights I will learn and become stronger, perfecting my own mind and body and becoming mastery of my vampiric condition.

Soon I will wed Corentine. I want to be whole in mind and body when we have the ritual performed. I want our souls entwined with no blemishes and our bodies to be the same. Within he I will find further strength and I will be that strength for her. I have been writing vows and I believe I have come up with some which I am mostly satisfied with. It is a slight tweak to a set of vows I found in a fictional vampire book, one about a pagan circle of vampires. I will run them by Cori when I see her. She is out somewhere currently, perhaps meeting with her sire and I will not disturb her though it galls me to think of her in his company. I saw how he looked at her when she was alive and I doubt seriously that his lecherous intentions have changed after siring her. Not after he has tasted her. I want to bath my hands in his blood, to tear his innards from his belly and choke him with them. I want to feel his body go slack and his life wink out under my knife.

I only feel this way when Cori speaks of reconnecting with the man. I don't know why I feel so strongly about her but I do. I never felt this way while mortal. I trust her and yet I feel so possessive, territorial.

I'll wait for another reason to dismember my childe. Eventually I am sure he will give me one. Perhaps I will set this in motion. Not now though. At the moment I am focused more on the upcoming nuptials. If she agrees to it it will go as follows.

*spoken by Trahir
I, Trahir Trahison, patriarch and progenitor of the Trahison bloodline, childe of Velveteen Andras, matriarch of the Andras bloodline hereby take Corentine of the Trahison bloodline, childe of Jon "Revelation" Masterson, grand-childe of Trahir Trahison into my immortal life forever as my wife and soulmate.

*spoken by Corentine
I, Corentine of the Trahison bloodline, childe of Jon "Revelation" Masterson, grand-childe of Trahir Trahison hereby take Trahir Trahison, patriarch and progenitor of the Trahison bloodline, childe of Velveteen Andras, matriarch of the Andras bloodline into my immortal life forever as my husband and soulmate.

*spoken by both simultaneously
We swear by all that is holy and all that is unholy that we tonight, seal our fates by bonds of dedication and honor. When my partner is hungry, I will bring sustenance. When my partner sleeps I shall watch over her. When my partner is afraid, I will give comfort, and when my partner is wronged I will have vengeance. This I swear on the blood, and the flesh, and the spirit.

We shall see what she thinks of it. Personally I find it very fitting for two monsters binding themselves to each other in a mystical ceremony. I have not spoken to her to see if she wishes to have a ceremony in front of the family or in private so I have not discussed the details of this union with anyone in any great depth. Certainly it will not be open to any and all.

First things first though. I must feed the reptiles and then see if an ice pack can soothe the wounds of one no longer alive.

[Trahir Trahison]

First option...

I think I like this more for a personal crest.

Second option...

I like this but perhaps with the halo effect around it...

Like this...

I hate trying to work on crests. It's something I want though for my bloodline. It's tempting to use the old heraldic system, elegant, complex, but at the same time it is outdated and out of place in these modern nights.

I know I want the skull, the wings, I like the half filled glass of blood being incorporated into the shield. it just seems to be missing something. Not sure what that something is though.

So many things happening of late. My first month is up on the Bridge, I met with the author of the aforementioned "vampire bible" I played with one of his minions Corentine has been a nightmare on and off. Socially I feel like she tried to cut my throat a week or so ago. I almost cut hers when he left the meeting. The next thing I know she is telling me since these things are important to me she will do as I request. I'm not sure if she wishes to help or destroy me half the time. More disconcerting is that I feel something growing inside me, like a cancer in my mind, but it seems more spiritual... perhaps it's the Darkness. I will describe everything in more depth another time.

There is killing to be done.

[Trahir Trahison]

I am an Owl. I have stained my hands with the blood of my fellows. I have helped kill those who would choose to thrust me and the rest of my kind into the eyes of the world and cause our demise. I am not ashamed of this. I am proud.

How do these foolish creatures, these Twilight-loving, weak, stupid creatures manage to survive their first nights? I would imagine they don't. The spend much of their time in the shadow. How can they not see what is so obvious to anyone with even the slightest bit of forethought? It's a pity natural selection doesn't seem to apply when one simply comes back from the shadow realm over and over.

One vampire can act as it's own flock of lemmings and many of them do.

Humans thought there were werewolves once upon a time and they nearly wiped out wolves.

They were frightened of lions and so they nearly wiped them out.

The same pattern. The same thing will happen with our kind if we are exposed and the stupidest thing is that they want to expose us all thinking it will be like on some cheesy HBO series.

This is why I am an Owl. Because the world is full of idiots needing culled.