Unholy Confessions (Andras Interactions)

[Micah]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--


<Micah> -t- I want a word with you.

<Jesse Fforde> [Text] Just one?

<Micah> -t- Nah. Several.

<Jesse Fforde> [Text] Figured. Where?

<Micah> -t- Don't matter to me.

<Jesse Fforde> [Text] Eyrie. I'll come to you. Your floor?

<Micah> -t- On the balcony.

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse puts his phone away and pulls out his tome. He doesn't bother with shoes or a jacket - he won't be going anywhere outside. Within two minutes he's out on the balcony, clearing his throat and lingering by the door. "I'll make sure to stay away from the edge."


<Micah> Micah crushed the cigarette out underneath his boot heel and eyed the male standing just out of his reach. Very wise of him. "Might be a good idea."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse eyes the crushed cigarette and now has a sudden urge for one. But he hadn't brought any with him. He arches a brow, then, gaze leveled with Micah's. "I can almost guess."


<Micah> "Oh?" A single eyebrow raised as he leaned back against the railing that lined the balcony. "It's almost as if you expected to hear from me. Should I give you the opportunity to spil your guts or somethin?"


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shakes his head. "No. I have nothing to spill my guts about," he says. "There are differences of opinion, but I still stand by my reaction. I was insulted."


<Micah> He scoffed. "You were insulted. Please do enlighten me how the **** you think you were insulted."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse remains still, his hands pushed into his pockets. "You weren't there. Velveteen called me irresponsible. I tend to disagree."


<Micah> "Don't fuckin matter if i was there or not. I'd call you a lot of things but stupid ain't one of em. I know what was said. And I also know you're ******* lucky I wasn't there. Cause if you had treated my wife with that much disrespect in front of me I'd have punched you in the throat."


<Jesse Fforde> "Punch me in the throat all you fuckin' like, Micah. I don't think I'm the one who needs to apologise, here," he says, calm as a lake on a still night.


<Micah> His anger spiked and in the blink of an eye Micah closed the distance between the two of them. His hand wrapped around Jesse's throat and he lifted him off of his feet to slam him against the wall. "I've had just about all I can take of your piss poor attitude you little ****. Your attitude sucks. And quite frankly I am sick and ******* tired of you taking it out on Vel and I."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse is standing his ground, this time. Though he has plenty to say, he doesn't say it; can't, with the fingers closed around his throat. Fire dances behind his eyes but he does nothing, beyond grip Micah's wrists with his own hands and brace himself against the wall with his feet. He refuses to talk to Micah like this--he'd been calm. But he doesn't expect Micah to see it from his perspective, anyway. So what's the point?


<Micah> He didn't want to speak? Fine. Micah had plenty to say, and he was going to say it. "What in the actual **** is your problem? You walk around like a whiney little emo *****. You treat Vel like ****. And that really pisses me off. We took you in, we gave you a home. A FAMILY. Every single time you act like this you spit on everything we've ever ******* done for you."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse still doesn't say anything. Not with Micah holding him up against the wall. He won't be degraded in such a way, so he merely narrows his eyes; if Micah needs to vent, then so be it - even if Jesse feels the fury rising in his chest. Maybe he will walk away, at this rate - the amount of **** he's been trying to do since their last conversation on this very topic, even with all the other crap he's had to deal with, and he still gets ****. Still gets made to feel like whatever he does, it's not ******* good enough. But he won't speak his piece. No, not until Micah puts him down.


<Micah> "So she called you irresponsible. What's so insulting about that?? Learn to take ******* critisism." he released the other male and took a step back. "You're acting just like Phoenix, with your mood swings." It was meant to get a rise. At that point Micah just didn't care. He was well beyond caring.


<Jesse Fforde> There is a rise, but not one that Jesse reacts upon. He remains silent for a few long seconds, just to gather his wits. He rolls his shoulders and attempts to remain as calm as he can. "You know why I act like I do? Because I don't know what I'm supposed to do to satisfy you. You obviously can't see that I'm ******* trying. So tell me. Please. Just ******* tell me how I can make you happy? My attitude might suck but it always has. You know this. But of course it's going to suck if you continue to call me out on **** that I already know and that I'm already working on. Do you get it? Do you get how ******* disheartening it is to constantly be criticized and never praised? Made to feel like you can never do anything right? Call me an emo ***** all you like, but it doesn't ******* feel good."


<Micah> He just ...stared at his cousin. Several long minutes passed and Micah still couldn't find the words to combat that. "You....." he closed his mouth and tried again. "Why the **** does it matter if what you do makes me happy? And you call treating my wife like dirt on the bottom of your shoe trying? That ain't tryin. Thats a sure fire way to piss me off. Yeah she's a *****, shes blunt and shes abrasive but guess what? I ******* love that about her. And she's got feelings too Jesse. Every time you act like that it cuts just a lil deeper. You don't like bein called an emo *****?? Don't act like one then."


<Jesse Fforde> "I don't give a **** if you call me an emo *****. I have been an emo *****. But about this? No. When you were there yesterday I agree, yeah, I overreacted. You were tryin' to help and something got lost in translation. I get that. I didn't treat her like dirt, Micah. I didn't call her any names or tell her to go **** herself. I just left, because I didn't appreciate being called something I'm not. I didn't appreciate the insinuation that I'm not doing my ******* job. I could have laughed it off but I didn't, and why? Because it matters. What you and she think? It matters, and every time you slap me with some label that makes me feel like ****, THAT digs a little deeper. Or should I just sacrifice all my feelings for yours? For hers? Is that it?"


<Micah> "No but you were being unreasonable and you refused to listen to anything she had to say. Your feathers got ruffled because she started her opinion and because it was something that you didn't agree with it offended you. When you act like that, you dismiss her thoughts and her opinions and make her feel like that doesn't matter. It DOES matter. She's got fuckin feelings and I’m sick of you stomping on them when she says something you don't agree with!"


<Jesse Fforde> "If Velveteen's feelings were so hurt, why isn't she here talking to me? You were all, the entire time, so quick to jump on everything I had to say and turn it into something negative, and it's been like that for a good long while. I said I was antisocial. I said that as a joke because it was something we had already discussed, and you all started to pick at all these flaws that I, for the record, do not have. So yeah, I may have got my feathers ruffled but why not? We've had that discussion before. Kaelyn's heard it all before and I've kindly asked people to stop treating her like she's some child who can't take care of herself because she has proven many times over that she has a good head on her shoulders. If I dismissed her thoughts and opinions she did the EXACT same thing by calling me irresponsible. It's okay for everyone to stomp all over my feelings but I can't give back a little? I'm ******* sick of it. You AGAIN bring up the fact that I'm somehow spitting on everything you gave me and you wonder why I'm reluctant to ask for help? I'm so ******* confused right now, Micah, and I need to you to clarify. Please. Is there something else?"


<Micah> "For the record she doesn't even know I've decided to approach you about this. Otherwise I'm sure she would eventually be speaking with you, though I’m sure at this point she's rather sick of you taking everything she says and twisting to make yourself out to be the victim. And no Jesse we weren't. We were having an adult conversation about things. No one was angry, except for YOU. You're the one that got all offended and insulted because you felt like we were attacking you. All we were trying to do was ******* help you." He felt like he was talking to a brick wall. Nothing he said was getting through to Jesse, but that was nothing new. Jesse heard what he wanted to. "As for Kaelyn? Vel's opinion is her opinion. She thinks the girl was sired too young, and that is her opinion. It is HER right to feel like that and she is entitled to express that opinion regardless if you and Kaelyn don't want to hear it. I get it now. You don't have flaws, you don't need help, you don't want to discuss **** unless its how you want it to be done. Fine. You got it. Vel and I will butt out and leave you to succeed or fail all on your own.

[Jesse Fforde]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

<Jesse Fforde> A growl rips from Jesse's throat and he drops into one of the nearby chairs, rubbing at his face with his hands. "What is this victim ****? What did I do the other night to make myself out to be a victim? I'm not gonna apologise for how I reacted because this time, I don't feel the need to. Whether you were trying to help or not, you still insinuated that I don't interact with those I'm responsible for. That I'm not being responsible at all. I know that's Velveteen's opinion. So does Kealyn. She's beating a dead horse by bringing it up every single time Kaelyn is in the room. How do you think it makes Kaelyn feel to constantly be reminded of something she already knows? Can we move on from that, please? She gets it. She understands. I don't want you to butt out. There's so much **** that I've been trying to do for our family - for Andras - and I am trying, even though I had a childe near-death at home I still came out to an impromptu gathering because I thought it would be a comfort. And it was, for a small part of it. Call me an emo ***** for thinking it but ******* hell, Micah. I need to know. Really, honestly - legitimately - what else can I do so that I'm not constantly failing in some way? In your eyes? You want me to stop reacting to things? Sure. I can do that. What else?"


<Micah> "No. I insinuated no such thing. Wires got crossed and I didn't realize that we were trying to discuss two entirely different things Jesse. And I didn't even know until the matter had been dropped and we had moved on. I never said you weren't being responsible and I won't say that. I've told you this already, that not many sires would step in and pick up the slack left behind by a negligent sire. And maybe, just maybe it wouldn't come up if Kaelyn started to act like the adult she claims that she is. Because from what I've heard the teenager was quite present there." he drew in an breath he didn't need and counted to ten mentally. It never worked before and he doubted it would now. "Stop trying to be their friends Jesse. You aren't their friend. You're their sire, grandsire, head of their ******* lineage. Quit trying to be their friend, because that isn't helping anyone and it never, ever will."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse scoffs. "She wasn't acting like a teenager. She reacted how I would have were I in her shoes to being told for the tenth time that she's too young when she's not. She's more adult than her sire. She's more adult than numerous other people that I have seen and when we got home later, she was more ******* adult than I was," he says. But he is less open, now. A wall has come down and it's obvious by the way he straightens his shoulders. "But I see how it is. Neither you or Velveteen are my friend? Is that really ... you can't be both? Seriously? I also had a talk to Clover after I got home. If I acted just like a sire to her rather than a friend, she'd never have opened up, and I wouldn't have a clue what was going on with her. She wouldn't have realised that she's got more in common with me than she thought and she'd still be out there - at arm's length - because she didn't feel comfortable opening up to some cold ******** who only ever lectured her. So I hear you, Micah. Thank you for your advice. I will be their sire when I need to be but I'm not going to quit being their friend."


<Micah> "And you wonder why they don't respect you? Why you have people that walk all over you? This right here is why." Micah didn't get why Jesse was being so emotional over this whole situation. It was really quite ridiculous in his eyes. "It's really irritating, not to mention frustrating, when Vel and I do everything we ******* can to help you. But no matter what we do, what we say, how we react - it's never ******* good enough for you. This is a perfect example. You aren't listening to me. You're putting words in my mouth and acting like an immature little snot who just got told he can't go out with his friends."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shakes his head. "No. You're the one standing there calling me names. I have had no trouble from any of mine in a very long time. They respect me just fine. They respect me more than they ever have recently, actually. I'm not wondering why they don't respect me, and none of them have walked all over me aside from Victor, but I haven't heard from him since I told him he can go his own way and I wouldn't follow up on his well-being. How am I putting words in your mouth? I listen. Jesus ****, Micah. Velveteen suggested I make them choose between Altaire and Andras and I listened. I did that. You all suggested I put my foot down with Victor and show him who's boss - I did that, too. And it worked. And I thank you for it. Sometimes I don't listen. And I learn from my mistakes. But you only seem to remember the times that I don't listen and completely forget about the times that I do. I'm listening, Micah. What is this really about? There's got to be something more because I have no idea why my siring practices are being criticised when none of mine have done anything wrong, recently. Is there something I don't know about?"


<Micah> "I brought you here for one reason. For your ******* attitude towards my wife. It snowballed to this. You don't appreciate her calling you irresponsible. And what I don't get is why you always wait until I'm not around to unleash that wicked attitude of yours on her. Because you do that. Yeah I get faced with the same attitude but for some reason...I don't get it like she does. And I want to know -why- you do it. I don't give a **** about the rest of this discussion. You're right, there is no sense beating a dead horse here. But I want an answer, because its getting out of hand."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse just stares at Micah. He shakes his head. "There is no reason why. It's not something I do on purpose. I treated you with the same attitude when you were there. I'd have reacted the exact same way if you were still there at the end," he says with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't see what was so wicked about it. Again. I called her no names, I didn't lay a finger on her, I didn't insult her beyond walking out," he says with a frown over his brow. He's still thoroughly confused. Still feels like he's got no answers of his own. That his own questions are being ignored, and that there's still some grievous fault he's not being told about.


<Micah> "No. You don't treat me the same way. Vel is the one you always turn and take your **** out on. And I don't know why. Maybe you think you can get away with it cause Vel tolerates that kind of **** longer than I do. I have no patience for it. " Again with the name calling. What was this? High school? "Did you ever stop to consider asking Vel why she feels the way she does? Or did it never occur to you to do so until it gets to the point we're at now?"


<Jesse Fforde> "Now who's putting words int he mouth of the other? I can sit here and tell you that I don't treat you any different and it doesn't ******* matter because you don't ******* believe me," Jesse says. What's the point? Jesse wonders if Micah had even heard anything Jesse had had to say, or whether they'd just keep continuing as they are because Jesse's explanations aren't up to par. He shoves his own feelings aside, however; they seem not to matter, and he gets it. Velveteen is Micah's wife and her feelings should rightfully be more important to him. "No. I assumed her feelings stemmed only from an Masquerade tenet," he admits. "I'll definitely be talking to her after this. I had no idea she was so offended."


<Micah> "Im not putting **** in your mouth. I'm tellin you like I see it. Yeah I get your attitude. Quite often, Im not denying that. What I'm tryin to say is, Vel seems to get the brunt of it." Hello head, meet wall. Over and over. This was going nowhere and he was just over it. "Yeah. Wouldn't say she was offended, but you need to talk to her on your own and hear what she has to say."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shakes his head. "I'll keep an eye on it. I'll try to gauge how I'm reacting toward her as compared to how I'm reacting toward you--or anyone else, for that matter--because if I do anything any different, I'm doing it without realising it. I can promise you that I don't sit there and wait for you to leave the room before I unleash. That is NOT a thing I do," he says. He stands. Where there was anger in his eyes before, now there's just a numb blankness.


<Micah> He was far from satisfied. Contrary to what anyone might think Micah didn't like being a prick to people, Jesse included. But after his talk with Vel and hearing the way the rest of the evening had gone it had pissed him off. No one spoke like that to Vel, and more and more Micah was seeing a fair amount of disrespect towards not only her but himself as well. It was going to stop. "Thanks for stopping by." It was a dismissal. Micah had had enough for one night.


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse is far from satisfied, too. He doesn't say goodbye. He just nods and walks back in toward the elevator. There's one bramble that has stuck, and it's left Jesse feeling like a tumbleweed. Stop trying to be their friend. Yes, he would go to talk to Velveteen and maybe he would clarify. Or maybe he's taking it too personal, but he can't help himself. He doesn't know what else to do. Jesse would do as he said he would. He would try to adjust his attitude - and the way he reacts to things. But that won't change how he himself feels. And he wonders whether his efforts will be noticed this time.

[Velveteen]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Velveteen: I think you and I should talk soon.

Reanna: Of course, Leader. Whenever you wish.

Velveteen:: So...what the actual hell is going on on Andras?

Reanna: Every sired Naomi. It was not good. I cannot speak entirely for my twin or my husband, but I can speak for myself. I do not like it. Every has had problems in past with siring. She has been hurt. She is unbalanced. Then brings in Naomi. I do not like Naomi. I do not like that Every turned her. It makes me upset and I cannot control it. I was willing to look past Naomi when Every asked the first time. Then I saw her insulting Nishaa. And it angered me. I am very territorial. Very possessive. I do not like Naomi. I do not trust her.

Velveteen: But you don't know her. Nor have you even bothered to try and get to know her. You said something about Every being broken. Do you realise that sort of behaviour only further perpetuates that? While you are busy trying to prevent such a thing happening you are infact instigating it.

Reanna: I was going to try. I meant to try. Then the first thing she says - at all - is to insult Nishaa. To speak out of turn to her. Every said something like that. Before she corrected the post. That we were hurting her. I do not mean to. I do not set out to hurt her. I cannot stop it. It is something inside of me. Irrational. Maybe. I do not know. I honestly cannot explain. I just know that every time I see her name. See her talk to Every. See Every talk to or about her, I want to kill her. She has done nothing to me personally. She is just a threat. To me. To Every. What if Every abandons me, too? Then what? Because of Naomi.

Velveteen: Well if she does it would be your own fault because what you and Nishaa are doing is pushing Every away because of something you don't like. And lets be honest....Nish was hardly welcome and was threatening to kill her. I don't know about you but when someone threatens me I certainly don't soll over and say yes please. Would you? Why would you expect someone else to? Respect is given where respect is shown and so far I see no reason for Naomi to give either of a you a single ounce. If you cared for Every that way you say you do then perhaps being more supportive and helpful would actually help you attain your goals rather than create this ridiculous competition of who likes who best.

Reanna: As I said in forum. It is not a competition. Not to me. I cannot speak for Nishaa. I do not care who she likes best. I am not her actual blood. I accept that. That does not mean that I will not protect her. Sometimes you have to do things that others do not like to get the job done. I do not want Naomi to respect me. I do not expect her to. You do not understand it. I cannot help you to understand it because I cannot explain it. I cannot allow you into my head or my heart to know how I function. Every used to know. She used to understand. I do not know what changed. What would you have me do? Attempt to speak to this Naomi?

Velveteen: I understand more than you know. I can be amazingly possessive myself and I simply loathe every new female childe my husband brings home. Another woman that I must share my husbands times and attention with is nothing I want. But would it be any good for my marriage or our line for me to threaten every new one that he brings home? To berate them publicly and threaten them whilst making my husband look an idiot? Claim that he will throw me aside and no longer love me cause he has a new childe? Because that is, in a nutshell, why you and Nishaa are doing and honestly....you will have no one to blame but yourselves if and when Every does walk the **** away. Is that what you want?

Reanna: That has much to do with it, too. She brought in woman. Woman that will get near my husband. That will talk to my husband. Aysel tried to sleep with my husband, when he was first turned. I hardly stomach Nishaa near him. Nothing will stop me if she were to touch my husband. I do not wish Every to leave. I wish to fix what has already been broken. I know you are right. I also know it is not just me. Every still has a lot to make up for from the past and she knows. We have been working on that. I am still bitter for her leaving before, even when I did nothing that time. This time, da, I have helped in pushing her away, but she has pushed us away. I cannot fully blame Naomi. She had no idea what she was getting into.

Velveteen: That was the biggest pile of self centred, selfish, self justifying ******** I think I have ever heard in my life. And what is even sadder that Every was in this same position and taking **** from others for you. And here you are being just like them. Those being Szabina and Aysel and I cannot hide my disappointment at that. People argue and people disagree but ya know what? Every should not have to make up for anything. She fucked up. I **** up. Micah fucks up. It happens. But when you truly care about a person and your relationship with them you don't go on screaming about compensation for your hurt feelings. You get over it and move the **** on...hopefully stronger and wiser. Be bitter. Have your poor little feelings hurt...But at least be adult enough to admit your part in it. Every took you in despite the opposition. And for that...you will eternally owe her. Think about that.

[Reanna]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Reanna: How was it self-centered or justifying my actions, Velveteen? Either you misunderstood, or you are not listening and picking out what you wish to hear. I admitted that I was wrong. I admitted that you were right. If I were to justify my actions, I would not have done that. I would have told you to shove it and say that it was all her fault. I am not talking about Szabina or Aysel. I am talking about when she left. When I had done nothing but support her and defend her against almost ALL of Andras. When Kirill died, she was not there. She knows this. You were not privvy to that part of my life. To that darkness that I felt. I would have been alone if not for your husband. He took me in and kept me above the surface, kept me sane while my husband and my second second sire were both... gone.
I am not screaming about compensation. That is not what I meant in the least. She owes me nothing, and I owe her everything. That is why I defend her as I do. Protect her as I do. Perhaps it is in the wrong way. Perhaps I should be more understanding. But I merely meant we were working on our issues. I DID admit my ******* part in it this time around. That is the entire point in saying 'I have helped in pushing her away.' That Naomi has no part in what is really wrong with how I feel. That she is the catalyst. I have never once dismissed what Every did for me. Unlike them, I am willing to give Naomi a chance.

Reanna:Well. Now I am. After talking to you.

Velveteen: But you weren't alone and thanks to Every you did have my husband to help you through. It could have been worse. I know more about things than you might think, Reanna. Maybe Eve wasn't there when you needed her most but you were not left alone either. And again....if it wasn't for Eve....you would have been. She deserves more than she is currently getting from you guys. Like....a bit of credit and your support. She aint perfect but then who is? We all struggle with the challenges this life constantly throws us....it is how we accept and deal with those challenges that define us as people. I appreciate that you have listened and are thinking about it because from what I have seen on the board....it should never have come to that.

Reanna: What happened on the board is not me. I cannot explain it. You have known me through your faction, Velveteen. I am usually rational. I explain and defend myself, but I do not do it with such dramatics. I do not understand why I acted the way I did, but you are right. Every does deserve more. We all do. Not just from Every, but from each other. Andras is a family, and as of late, we go at each others throats like rabid dogs. The same reason I jumped on Naomi is the same reason Remington jumped on me. We are protective, even if there is no reason to be.
I will try to work this out. I do not wish you or anyone to think I am like that wretched woman. I may not be friendly, but I am loyal. I may not like people, but I would never wish them to feel as unwelcomed as I did.

Velveteen: Good. It makes it especially hard to understand why, when you have been where Naomi is now, that you would display such bad behaviour. If you care about Every as much as you say you do then you need to be speaking with her and telling her what you just told me. And believe me...when i comes to acting irrationally I major in it....but that doesn't mean I cant step in and be all 'Hey' when I see someone else making a huge mistake. Unfortunately we are going to have to deal with things that we may not like or aren't all that comfortable with but in a family as big as this one....then we need to learn how to deal with a little more decorum.

Reanna: I plan to speak with her. You just approached first. I do not mind being told when I am out of line. You are my leader. That is what I expect you to do. I will work on it. I did far better when I was only possessive over one person. I think two makes me far more insane than I am able to handle.

Velveteen:Part of learning about ourselves is learning to control those things about us that we don't understand. I do get it. I really do. But what sets us apart from children is knowing that our bad behaviours have consequences and **** don't always go as we would like. I will leave you to your evening. Stay safe Reanna.

[Jesse Fforde]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

<Jesse Fforde> [Text] We should talk.

<Velveteen> [t] When do you wanna do that?

<Jesse Fforde> [Text] Later. Grey's fury isn't worth leaving now.

<Velveteen> [t] Why is Grey angry and sure later is fine.

<Jesse Fforde> [Text] Because I promised I'd spend the night with her but went to a gathering instead. I'll text you later.

_____________________________

<Jesse Fforde> [Text Later] Are you free now?

<Velveteen> [t] I am. Just hangin at the Eyrie.

<Jesse Fforde> [Text] Where at the Eyrie?

<Velveteen> [t] Hanging in the trees at hut level.

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse uses his tome to get to the Eyrie. He'd left Grey sleeping, at home. He stands at the elevator for a good five minutes before he finally steps inside and makes his way up, stepping out into the cool breeze and the calm quiet of the huts, eyes narrowed as he searches for the small Australian.


<Velveteen> Velveteen is sitting in one of the branches, leaning up against the strong tree trunk as her legs swing freely through the air. It was quiet here and very few came this way or even noticed her on their way to their huts. Micah has since fallen asleep but she wasn't quite ready to join him just yet. This talk needed to be had.


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse finds Velveteen, eventually. He doesn't quite like heights. He isn't as afraid of them as he once was, but he's still wary. His body is tense as he looks down, cringing slightly as he remembers the aftermath of falling. He finds a solid branch and tries to make himself comfortable. "Velveteen," he says, greeting her with a little less warmth than usual.


<Velveteen> "Jesse." She reciprocates in a similar tone and manner waiting, otherwise quietly, until the male settles himself. She has a pretty good idea what its about and why he wanted to speak with her but she refrains from bringing it up and waits.


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse stares at Velveteen for half a minute. Now that he's here, he's not sure how to start. He's still confused as **** - even more so now than before. He'll start with the main question, he supposes. Maybe he would speak only in questions. "Why didn't you come to me, the other night? Why didn't you tell me I'd offended you so much?" he says, seriously and calmly. "I meant no offense. I only reacted to feeling offended myself."


<Velveteen> Velveteen tilts her head curiously though her gaze never strays from his face. "Well firstly I wouldn't say I felt that offended. Personally I have learned to take these things with a grain of salt and have dealt with my worse but my husband seems to disagree with this and feels that I shouldn't have to tolerate such things and won’t be from now on as far he is concerned." A slight smile touched the corners of her pale lips at the thought. She couldn't describe how having someone do that made her feel.


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shakes his head. "You must have felt something. You must have said something for him to come to me like he did. He thinks I treat you worse than I treat him. That I unleash attitude on you only when he's not around. Do you feel that way?"


<Velveteen> A soft hiss sounded as she sucked her tongue against her teeth and nodded. "I felt something I suppose. I wouldn't say offended. Perhaps I was 2 parts pissed, 1 part disappointed, 1 part frustrated and maybe another part...perplexed. I fully expected to be the one in **** because I tend to do that." She pulled one knee up and placed her booted foot on the branch as the other continued to swing freely. "Though I do kinda agree....your attitude does kinda suck Jesse. I'm not even sure if it is even that. You take everything as some kinda personal attack on you. And yeah...I did call you irresponsible but you had already gone into defence mode before that happened."


<Jesse Fforde> "My attitude sucks for reasons which I feel you and Micah don't realise," he says, but turns his attention back to the previous topic. The main one. "Our opinions differ, and that does not make me irresponsible. But why? What happened that you are so hard on Kaelyn? Why is it an issue that you keep circling around?"


<Velveteen> Velveteen shrugged and grinned a little. "Maybe so..but if we don't know then...that is your fault. Neither of us seemed to be much good at playing guessing games. And my calling you irresponsible is just my opinion is it not? Why is it ok for everyone else to have one but as soon as I voice mine people run off crying like three year olds?" As for the next question she gave that a little more thought though still wasn't entirely sure what his question implied. "Why would you say I am hard on her?


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse grins, too, and echoes that shrug. "I brought it up several times with Micah the other night but he never gave me an answer. So he, at least, can't say he doesn't know," Jesse says. The fight has run clear out of him. "And, like I said to Micah, yours and his are opinions that matter. You're leaders and mentors and people look up to you. If you have an ill opinion of them, of course they're going to take it to heart. Especially when said opinion directly goes against everything that person has been trying to achieve. It's a stamp of failure. See? And I say you're hard on Kaelyn because you seem to constantly repeat the things that she knows. She knows she's seventeen and that there are consequences. It's not something she can help. You don't have to keep telling her."


<Velveteen> She arched a perfectly curved brow, not quite sure what he was talking about that her husband should know. "So of our opinions matter so much then why the **** don’t people listen and maybe consider what we are saying before flying off the handle or running away? Running off all pissed off and sulking instead of listening and possibly even understanding what is being said and why would seem far more conducive...don't you think. I tend to listen to people who's opinions matter to me. As for Kaelyn no....I don't think I repeated anything considering this was the first time I had heard about her involvement with that Kane dude.'


<Jesse Fforde> "The sentiment was the same. That was what was repeated. That she's too young. An opinion that I tend to disagree with, and I do not like that she is constantly reminded. There are hurdles that she has to leap but she knows that. Your disapproval of Kane seemed only to revolve around the fact that he is apparently too old for her," he says. "Why? Why are you so concerned with her age? Still?"


<Velveteen> "Why shouldn't be Jesse? She is still a teenager in a world she shouldn't have been a part off. She will still be a teenager for a couple of years yet. And he is too old for her. But again...that is just my opinion. So what would you prefer? WE just ignore her age all together? Treat her like the rest of us? I wouldn't be hanging out with a 17 year old if I wasn't a vampire. Would you? You one of those creepy guys Jesse?" She grinned crookedly as she spoke. "As long as it’s legal it don't matter?"


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse rolls his shoulders. "I know plenty of people who fooled around with people significantly older than them when they were seventeen. We are immortal. Age doesn't matter," he says. "Yes, I would prefer we treat her like the rest of us, because how is she going to grow up if she's constantly coddled and treated like a child? Sometimes we're forced to grow up before our time. It's a way of life. But I'm not here to talk about this, Velveteen. Our opinions differ, and that's not going to change," he doesn't smile. He doesn't take offense, either. "And sure I would, if I liked them enough. How is it creepy? You assume anyone who hangs out with a seventeen year old wants to get in their pants?"


<Velveteen> She continues to watch him, giving little away with her expression alone. "Only a naive person would assume age doesn’t matter because some got turned into a vampire. There are certain changes and processes that people go through, physically, mentally, hormonally, as growing humans. Seventeen is still a long way from adulthood in many places. Tell me Jesse.....and be honest. Would you **** a seventeen year old?"


<Jesse Fforde> "What does that have to do with anything? No one is ******* Kaelyn. She's made that perfectly clear. She's also made it perfectly clear that she expects no one will ever want to, because certain people keep making her feel like no one will ever want to touch her. I have met Kane, Velveteen. He acts like girls have cooties. Clover has confirmed - the two of them, together, act like ten year olds. There's no sex involved," he shakes his head, but then shrugs. "Given the right circumstances and if I'd got to know said seventeen year old, then yes. Yes I would. Kaelyn? No. Zoey? No. But it doesn't matter. This isn't about Kaelyn, Velveteen. This is about you and me."


<Velveteen> "It doesn't matter whether they are or not. But age does play a factor in a lot of things whether you care to admit or not. And if you ever cared to listen both Micah and know it from experience. But you are right...its whatever. I didn't figure to be the sort to sleep with a kid. Guess I know less than thought I did. But why not them? Jesse? What sets them apart from other teenagers?" She tilted her head once more. Her voice not really wavering from the calm steady tone she had started with. No...it wasn't about them but that is where it went and now she wanted to know.


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse rolls his shoulders and sighs. "I don't know, Velveteen. I just know I wouldn't," he says. "Again, that's your opinion. Kid? It would be wrong if I said I'd sleep with a ten year old. Or with a girl who hasn't... I don't know, had her first period. I'm not a ******* paedophile," he says. "Why? Why are you so adamant that being seventeen is tantamount to being a kid? Sixteen is the age of consent. Why do you feel so strongly about this?"


<Velveteen> "Because as someone who is a little older and wiser....I don’t believe that just because some law says a kid is old enough to have sex is some sort of stamp of adulthood. So...by your logic...if they are old enough to have sex then they are good to go. Hell why we don’t have more sixteen year old mothers in the world is beyond me." She narrowed her gaze a little. "Your argument is flawed and I am sure you take it more personally simply because she is one of yours. And you know why I do. It should never have happened. And you should have never gone full protective mode when it did. I will treat Kaelyn as an adult when she is one. Simple. Now....is this really what you wanted to talk about?"


<Jesse Fforde> "No. I said that already. This isn't about Kaelyn. It's about you and me. And Micah, too, to some extent," he says, and he cringes. His arms cross over his chest. Not stubbornly, but more like he's putting up a wall. A safety mechanism. He does it subconsciously. "I don't unleash more attitude on you than I do on anyone else. If I do, I don't realise it. And I apologise, if that's how you feel. I told Micah, and I'll tell you now - I'll keep an eye on it. I'll think more about what I'm saying and doing in future."


<Velveteen> She watches him curiously, wondering why the crossing of the arms at this point seemed...odd. "If you say so. I don't really know what to say to you honestly. Or what to expect. What you say and do seem to be two entirely things at times." She reaches out to pluck a small twice from the nearby branch and rolls it idly between her fingers. "Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to pick up on things we don't." She shrugged not really wanting to continue with that train of thought. "Then I suppose I should back off, mind my own business and only offer help criticism, constructive or otherwise, when asked to do so? Is that what you want?"


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shakes his head. "What do I do?" he asks. She may have said something that she wishes to dismiss, but Jesse follows through. "Because to me? From my perspective? I've been trying. I've been distracted with Cosette but since the last time I spoke to Micah? I've been trying. I don't want or need anything more from you and Micah beyond what you've already done and I'm reluctant to ask for anything else because every single time I ... I erupt, for whatever reason, nothing that I do to try seems to matter. I'm just that little pissant **** who doesn't appreciate anything. I don't know what to do. I don't know what YOU want. I'm confused. And Micah said something... he advised me not to treat my progeny like friends. Which means, I don't know.. if he's effectively adopted me, I'm not a friend. So what does that make me? What am I? What are we?"


<Velveteen> "Maybe it's what you haven’t tried that is what you are missing." She rolled her upwards as her head fell back against the trunk of the large tree o watch the stars that peaked through the thick branches overhead. "You try what you think we want. You do what you think is right and that is all well and good but you seem to miss the most important part. I don't think anyone is asking you to change. Well...maybe. You do tend to get pissy at the drop of a hat these days. I don't know what that is all about. I don’t understand why you....erupt as you do. You know....sometimes....the secret aint doing anything at all except listen." She lowered her silver gaze to settle once more upon his face. "You don't listen very well Jesse....Your first reaction to anything is either to get all huffy and defensive....be all....what is the word? I'm thinking whiney but it isn't quite that. You act like a victim and we are just a couple of bullies out to bring you down or something. And quite frankly, that is ******* irritating. You didn't used to be this irritating."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse laughs. It all sounds ridiculous now that it's coming out of his mouth but he's here, and he's already started, so he may as well continue. Acting like a victim. People keep accusing him of that and he's about to go on continuing. "Before last week, before Cosette - yeah. I get that way. I think I'm worthless and everything anyone says or does is against me, and I want them to continue because I want more reasons to take myself away," he says. That's how he gets. "It's why I became a hermit, to try to ... not be like that. I don't think I can control it. Now? Now, I'm fine. Mostly. But the other night?" he shakes his head. "There was nothing positive. I can't recall what I did but everything anyone had to say was negative. I get so defensive because it builds up, you know? This feeling in the background like you're not good enough. Maybe I wasn't irritating before because I didn't care what anyone thought but now I do care. I give a ****. I appreciate what you and Micah have done for me and I always will. But you both constantly tell me I don't. I'll adjust my attitude, I will. But you and Micah need to listen, too. People don't like to only hear what they do wrong. They like to know when they're getting things right, too."


<Velveteen> She shrugged and flicked the cracked and broken twig aside. "You are wrong on that count. I do what I do cause I do it. I don't expect eternal thanks or gratitude. That isn;t why I do anything for people." She pursed her lips and considered othe other things that were said before eveything got lost beneath even more words that went nowhere. "I am pretty sure what my husband was trying to tell you with that friends thing is that as a leader you have to wear many hats....and you have to know which one to wear to what occasion. That isn't to say we aren't friends, but when you need a kick in the *** from the leader then that is what you will get. You need your cousin up in your face....you will get that too... Other hats would be that of mentor, teacher, mother, father, counsellor and so on and so forth. Not to say you can't be friends but don't let that friendship get in the way of the other things you must do which is what can and will happen when you put the 'friendship' first."

[Velveteen]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

<Jesse Fforde> "It's not about needing gratitude, Vel. It's about clearly knowing where you've gone wrong. I used to feel so proud of myself. I used to have confidence in spares, and I thought that would all come back after I sired Cosette but it hasn't. It has, to some degree, and I'm standing by certain things. In myself, I know that I am not worthless but I still feel it, lately. I know my attitude sucks and there are more reasons than I can count for that - you and Micah know all about that. I have apologised. I have tried to make up for wherever I have let you down. I don't know what I want. But I feel like scum. I have an attitude but I have always had an attitude. That hasn't changed. I get defensive and the first thing either of you do is call me irresponsible and unappreciative rather than ask if there's something wrong. Which... " he laughs, "Is stupid to expect, I know. And I know in the past you haven't judged me for my mood swings, and you've shown care where others wouldn't. But this time I feel like something's changed. Maybe I've always been depressed. Maybe vampirism heightened it. It's not something that just goes away at the flick of a switch. It's ongoing. Maybe I judge myself harshly but I feel like you and Micah are sick of it. And so you should be. I mean... I don't ******* know. I don't."


<Velveteen> "We shouldn't have to ask Jesse. Especially not stop in the middle of a situation where you are already off on your defensive little trip and we are frustrated. If there is **** going on then you should come to us. Not take it out on us which honestly...as much as you say it feels that way for you...it feels that way for us. I don't know what changed....but it’s like...." She leaned forward and clasped her fingers about her knee. "You started speaking and forgot how to talk. How to listen. You react without thinking and most of the time that is badly. And you know what? I don't know why either because for all intents and purposes you should be on top of the ******* world....but ya aint."


<Jesse Fforde> "I'm coming to you now. I don't know how many times Micah has accused me of not appreciating anything you've done and that's why I get defensive and frustrated. And then I again get accused of not appreciating anything BECAUSE I am defensive and frustrated. Micah putting on his 'leader' hat didn't help. I told him that. Several times. Maybe I didn't explain it properly. What... what do I need to do, beyond adjust my attitude, to prove that I'm not just some freeloader who doesn't appreciate anything? I stop reacting, and I regress into who I was before and I get accused of being a hermit and anti-social. What? What can I do?"


<Velveteen> Her shoulder came up in a casual shrug and fell away just as quickly. "Maybe that is the wrong question. Maybe you need to decide what you want from us? How can we give you what it is you want? What do you want? Why do you do the things you do and take everything as a personal affront? Like....if Kaelyn, for example, is mature and adult enough, why do you feel the need to throw yourself in the middle?" She waved a hand dismissively through the air. "Purely an example because it is a situation I can think off immediately. Is whatever going on with you prely the result of me and Micah giving you an excessively hard time or something? Is this what you are saying?"


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse scoffs. "It is a personal affront when you call me irresponsible. I get it, yes. I shouldn't have taken it so personally. I am confident in myself and with how I treat and deal with Kaelyn, so I should have laughed it off and explained to you properly the exact reasons I don't think I am irresponsible. But, you just contradicted yourself. Because by calling me irresponsible, you must think that I should throw myself in the middle more often. But I don't, because I do believe that she is adult and mature enough to get by. And she does call me, she does let me know when she needs help. She listens to me. She respects me. She does as she's told," he sighs, shakes his head, and rubs at his temples. "It's not the wrong question. I feel like whatever I do, it's the wrong thing. According to you and Micah. What do I want from you? I need a clear answer, Vel. A little bit of attitude can't be it. What else have I done wrong? Why DO you and Micah give me a hard time when you KNOW why I act the way I do? I say one small thing in jest and you jump down my throat with lectures. Why?"


<Velveteen> She shook her head. "I did not contradict myself. Because Kaelyn is a teenage girl and I don't't care how mature she might behave she is still what she is. You took on that responsibility. So you can't have it both ways Jesse. You can't say she is a big girl and then jump in the middle when someone might say **** she don't like. That is you contradicting yourself." She fell silent and watched him for a moment. "A clear answer would be nice. I agree....but it seems there is nothing here that is that clear cut really. Knowing why you act the way you do is hardly a pardon. Or do you think it should be?'


<Jesse Fforde> "It wasn't just **** she didn't like. I jumped in the middle because I didn't like it. Because yes, she is my responsibility and I have asked in the past that she stop being treated like a child. I was on the streets when I was seventeen years old and circumstance forced me to become an adult before my time, and circumstance is forcing her to do the same. She KNOWS, Velveteen, that she is seventeen years old and that she looks it, and that there will be roadblocks along the way, so please please I am asking you to stop bringing it up," he says. He shakes his head. "I'm not asking for any pardon. You can do what you want," he says. He slumps against the tree behind him, breathing out. This conversation has not helped, and he still feels about as numb as he did before.


<Velveteen> "You really think ignoring it is the answer?" She shook her head, her sterling orbs narrowing ever so slightly. "You know...it should never have happened. And yeah I know you are picking up the slack. You protected Victor from us for what Jesse? And now I can't air my opinion? What else would you like from me? From Micah? If you want people to ignore the white elephant then someone needs to do a better job of camouflaging it. Doing **** that will force people to question it is not the way to go. And while ever that happens....that will reflect on us because we have been asked to turn a blind eye to something we usually deal with much differently. And we have done that for you, Jesse. No one else... And I suppose....that is where this perception of ungratefulness could possibly stem from. We can appreciate and have overlooked a lot of things...but yet it seems still we are forced to watch our tongues and behave in a manner more ...fitting to you. You want us to accept you and how you are yet it seems too much to ask the same from you." She tilted her head, her expression similar to that of a curious animal. "Quite a conundrum really...but what can be done for it?"


<Jesse Fforde> "You're not getting it," Jesse says. "What did she do to force people to notice? Hang out with a twenty-four year old who won't even touch her? If she's not living with Kane, she's living with me. I'm a twenty-four year old. Is she not allowed to do that, either? You have aired your opinion. Your opinion has been heard, and has been taken into account. But you keep repeating it. You're beating a dead horse with it. Yeah, she should never have been turned and yeah, I should not have protected Victor from you because he's proven since that he won't listen and deserves every lick of punishment ever coming for him. But it's done. It can't be undone. Continuing to point out that it was something that shouldn't have happened does not help. You say it continues to reflect badly on you. What do you want to do, Velveteen? Kill her? Is that it? Is that the only solution and the only way to fix past mistakes?" He shakes his head. "And yet again you keep just pointing out my faults. You said it. I'm just irritating now. I'm not even in one of my moods and I feel like you regret ever taking me in, Vel. Both you and Micah. I can go away if that'll make it easy for you. I can shut up and be quiet and become the recluse that I always was."


<Velveteen> "Please cut it with the woe is me ******** Jesse. It really does not endear either of us to you. You used to be stronger than this. Is that what you want to do? Go away? I suppose that will be one way to stop us interfering in your ****." She watched him quietly for a moment. The anger she had been trying to avoid slowly simmering beneath the surface. "No. I know killing her is not the answer and if you really have to ask what the difference is between you and Kane then this conversation is done. I keep repeating because you aren't listening. You hear what you want to hear. And that is a big part of the problem. You don't take it on board and listen you just argue. But ...I’m done. I will keep my opinion to myself." ..She held up her hands in surrender. "You said it yourself...what is done can't be undone. That will be the case with all and any mistakes any of us make. If you listen to nothing else then at least retain that little bit of information. It may save you in the future."


<Jesse Fforde> "Goddamnit, Velveteen. If I'm not listening, then neither are you! I've changed. You know that conversation we were having earlier, about improving oneself? I used to give no shits about anything. Nothing. And no one. I had walls up so ******* thick that nothing could get through. Maybe they're what made me strong, but they're not there anymore, see, because I tried to improve myself. I tried to change so that I could become a part of this family. So that I could help people. I've been trying to help people. I'm about to open a building that started just as a way for Grey and I to work together but which now I want to be somewhere for Andras. For the family to come and hang out, rather than seeing them go somewhere like the Handle Bar. Whenever anyone asks for something that I have, I give it to them. I am giving so ******* much of myself to this family but it leads to nothing. It leads to being called a whiny emo *****, and weak, and irresponsible, and irritating. I have deprived myself and become that emo ***** so that I don't sire another ******* Victor. I have reigned in my impulsive behaviour to try to be more responsible. Do you see any of it? Have you? You keep telling me I DON'T LISTEN when I have said, how many ******* times that I have heard you and that I will manage my attitude? I will change for you, did you hear that?"


<Velveteen> "I know you have changed. That is probably the one thing that all of us do agree on." The muscles tightened about her as she held her tongue. There really wasn't a whole lot left for her to say at this point. She had lots of answers to certain questions but she no longer felt the need to discuss any of them further lest it lead to yet another circular argument. "So yes, Jesse, I heard you. I'm listening. So how about you tell me exactly what you want or expect from us."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse laughs. His knee is drawn up and his arms resting upon it. Now his forehead hits his arm and he shakes his head, his laughter muffled. It's all quite amusing, really. That's the one question he's repeated how many times? And now it's turned back on him, and he feels like he doesn't have any answers. She agrees that he's changed and it doesn't sound like approval. It sounds like accusation, like it's a negative thing. And if that's the case, Jesse is wallowing in confusion. He lifts his face, finally, and draws in a breath. "I want you to answer my question," he said, nearly pleading. "I don't want anything. You've given me so much already, I'm not here to ask anything of you but for a simple answer. I have listened. I do listen. I apologise for my attitude lately but you were there. You know I'm trying ways to keep it under wraps when it gets out of control and the other night was just frustration. I listen. I have listened and I have changed and I am trying so very hard. So please, please just tell me what else I am doing wrong? What is it? What can I DO beyond what I have already said I will to show you my appreciation? You say I've changed and you don't like how, so I say I'll go back to who I was before--an asshole who gave no shits about anything--but you don't want that either. So what? Please?"


<Velveteen> At this point Velveteen was ready to throw her hands up and say nothing but he had asked and she owed it to him to give him a straight answer. Whether or not that too would fall on deaf ears would remain to be seen but she leaned forward once more and steadied her gaze on him. "You want to know what we would like from you? Then I will tell you and if you think we have been harsh to date then brace yourself. What we want is for you to stop being a lil emo *****. Stop acting like a victim and taking every criticism as something negative that you can toss on your fire at your little pity parties to make you feel vindicated in being a victim. ...It is like you have some mental running list that you add to every time is something said and then you repeat it back by rote when going wah wah....Everyone hates me and I try so hard." She stopped and laugh then, though the sound was rather bitter. "If Micah or I took on every negative thing said about us and went to cry in a corner....I could recite lists as long as my arm. We could sit around feeling sorry for ourselves and never do another thing. Yeah you have **** to deal with....don't we all. You are your own worst enemy Jesse. Not us. Not anybody else. You. And I don't know why you keep doing this. So you wanna know what I want? That is what I want. Sometimes giving no shits is a good thing. Less ******* drama that way."


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse's eyes narrow. His shoulders straighten and something clicks into place. This entire time he was assuming there was something that he was missing, that there was something else. Which is why he was so confused. But now he's not confused anymore. For the first time in his life he had sunk so low because he sought approval, and he realises now that he should stop. He needs no one's approval but his own, like it always had been. He nods. "Okay. I can do that. No shits," he says as he pushes himself away from the branch he's leaning against and stands. He no longer looks over the side as if height is something he should be afraid of. His hands drop and his shoulder rolls, the bone in his neck cracking. "Is that all?"


<Velveteen> Velveteen chuckled and watched him certain that he will likely take that little pearl to extremes and all the wrong places. She pondered for a moment over just letting him run with that. "I said sometimes. Learning when those times are is up to you. Stop whining and being a victim. Take control of your ****. And if and when you want to be an obnoxious little snot, own that ****. Don't blame other people." She arched a brow as amusement danced delicately across her features. "And when all fails? Remember this....Micah and I took you in because we cared about the person you were...I had a lot of respect for that guy." She left it that.


<Jesse Fforde> Jesse laughs again. "That guy would tell you to go get fucked, flip you the finger and walk away. So I'll keep acting like that, yeah? And get shot for it," he says. He might be smiling as if he doesn't give a **** that he's just been insulted. Again. That he has been taking control of his ****, or at least trying. He doesn't say it, no. He tried not to even think it, what that past tense means. Cared. Had. It ******* hurts, but he doesn't focus on that. He keeps that smile on his face as he doesn't do as he said he would have, once upon a time. He just laughs some more, shakes his head, and walks away.

[Micah]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Backdated to January 3rd 2015

<Nirvana> She had been a vampire for no more than two nights. She had clung to the four walls of the sewer dwelling Micah had kept her within. Vampire. That was what she was now, how odd. She had only thought they were folklore. Mythos. Who knew they were ******* real! Her ginger hair was pushed up in a bun and her clothes - well, they were the same smelly clothes she had been sired in. The woman was huddled in the corner of the room unaware of her potential. What she could do, the only thing she could understand was the hunger. The overwhelming need for blood. She was scared to leave the dwelling - she had free reign. He had said as such. She belonged to him now. What was the word he had said. Childe?

It was so much. Even now, the blood bags he had given her didn’t taste very nice. She shook her head and let the blood bag sit on the floor staring at her. Her features pale. She was waiting for Micah to come back - to tell her it would get easier, or there would be an alternate food source that didn’t involve blood bags.

<Micah> He’d given her some time to herself. Not much, but enough for her to let it really sink in. Her life had changed and it was never going to be the same. He’d shown her to the dwelling he had in the sewers, underneath the Quarantine Zone, supplied her with a good set of weapons and transferred a decent bit of cash to her bank account. After he’d done that he told her to purchase blood with the wad of cash he’d shoved into her hands and promised to return to her as soon as he spoke with his wife, who he was sure was going to be less than pleased with what he’d done.

Now he was returning to where he had left her. Hopefully she had listened to him and stayed put. Hunting her down wouldn’t be too difficult but it would be a pain in the *** that he didn’t need. Pushing the door open with his hip he slipped inside and spotted her sitting there, still wearing the same filthy clothing he’d left her in. “Devil childe.”

<Nirvana> “Nirvana.” She corrected him as he came into the dwelling. He looked at her, and she at him. She rubbed at her chin and then brought her chocolate hues back to the blood bag on the floor untouched. She then brought her hues back up to the man he killed her. Micah. “I don’t like it.” She said. “It tastes horrible.” She seemed like an eager child, with pleading eyes hoping he had brought her something different. “Have you got anything else that doesn’t taste like ****?” She batted her eyelashes then, the way a child would to it’s parent to get what it wanted.

“What can I call you?” She asked then as she got herself into a standing position, wobbling on her legs the woman hadn’t fed in a day - the first night she had drank a blood bag, and chose she didn’t like it - so the woman was weak for a fledgling. “Sire, killer, creator, Micah?” There was a pause. “Milkshake?” She tested the waters with that last one as she found herself laughing slightly.

<Micah> “Devil childe. Cause you’re a ginger, and gingers are the devil.” Now that she’d been given that name he’d never refer to her as anything else. Unless he was pissed off at her. That’s how one could tell - use of their given name was a surefire bet that the’d done something to end up on the wrong side of his temper. “I don’t care if you like it. It’s the safest way for you to feed right now. Once I know you ain’t gonna run off and cause a **** mess for me, I’ll teach you how to feed safely. I know it’s terrible, but it will do.” Micah was used to the taste of it by now. It was the only way he would feed now. So much safer.

The look he gave her was full of disapproval. Obviously she hadn’t listened to him when he told her that she needed to stay fed. Watching her stand was like watching a newborn animal, and it was a rather pathetic display. Not even two nights old and she was proving that he’d name her right, Devil childe indeed. And the nickname…. “You ever call me milkshake when refering to me again and I’ll cut your tongue out.”

<Nirvana> There was a sort of defiance to the way Nirvana looked at her new found maker. “Milkshake.” The word rolled off her tongue again. “Milky, Milky Milkshake.” Yes, she was taunting him. With a raised eyebrow as she folded her arms over her chest. She then looked back down to the blood bag and shook her head, “Not drinking it.” She said. “I don’t care if you disapprove. I WILL not drink it.”

Nirvana saw red. Her vision blurred as she lurched forward on what little energy she had and threw a punch at the older, more muscular male and growled her punch on the other hand, completely avoided him. It wobbled and swerved to the right simply hitting the air. “Now get me something different.” Her attitude was that of a spoiled princess. If she didn’t like what her father bought for her - he would take it back and exchange it. This was a lot like that case, but for vampires. Nirvana was going to be a handful. That much was certain. It was going to take some getting used to, for both of them.

<Micah> “You will drink it or I’ll force it down your throat.” He was deadly serious. Defiance would get her absolutely nowhere with him and he wasn’t bothered by attitude or temper tantrums. She’d learn that sooner or later. How she learned that lesson though would be entirely up to her.

He reached for the dagger that was constantly concealed in his boot but before he could grab the hilt he saw her fist flying at his face. Oh my what a badass she was trying to be. He wanted to coo at her and tell her that she was adorable but he didn’t. Instead he caught her fist before it connected with his face. His much larger hand wrapped around her small one and squeezed, using every ounce of vampiric strength he possessed. “Im sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. Wanna try that **** again?”

<Nirvana> The man cupped his hand around her balled fist and caught it mid air - just as she was being cocky and asking for something different. She did think she was badass, she was unaware of what the new world of vampires was like - or where she was on the scale of things. (Which rightly so, put her on the bottom.) The man squeezed on her fist crushing the bones in her hand as Nirvana screamed out in pain. She cursed and pushed her fangs against her lower lip to stop herself from crying. She closed her eyes and didn’t make a sound, she didn’t respond to his taunt - she simply stood there, blood slowly seeping from her lip as she pressed harder against the skin.

She shook her head then as she opened her eyes - chocolate hues looking straight at Micah. “Take me out of the this place.” She said. “I’ll behave.” She brought her other hand up to cross her heart and smiled. “Promise.”

<Micah> The sound of her screaming gave him a rather large sense of satisfaction. He doubted that it was going to be that easy. An attitude like hers didn’t just up and disappear in a matter of a few minutes. No, Micah was sure that he’d see that attitude time and again until she finally learned he wasn’t someone she could mouth off to without consequences. Once she opened her eyes, he dropped her hand and crossed his arms over his chest.

“No. I don’t think you’ll behave, In fact, I’m pretty sure that you’ll go out of your way to cause trouble and make a scene until you get what you what. i can assure you that acting like a spoiled brat isn’t going to get you that. My patience is limited.” He shoved a blood pack at her. “Now. Drink it down like a good little fledgling.”

<Nirvana> Nirvana grinned. Despite how she was sired - the shy little goody two shoes she had been to this? A spoilt little princess with the only child syndrome going on it was a dramatic change from how she had been - it was the shock, the shock of what had happened had made her this way bitter and defiant. Or was that her killed personality coming into play now that she was a vampire. That was how she had become a killer hadn’t it? Because she she focused in health and fitness - she was fit.

“You wound me, milkshake.” She said with a grin. “I’ll behave. I promised remember.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her tone. “Nirvana.” She repeated. “N u r - v a a - n a” She shook her head. “It really isn’t that hard to say, want me to repeat it again for you - just in case?” She smiled as the blood bag was shoved in her hands. “Do you want me to vomit all over you?” She said. “I want something different. This ****, is horrible.”

<Micah> “You can call me Micah, sire, sir or even asshole but milkshake is where I draw the ******* line. And I don’t give a **** what your name is. You’re Devil Childe to me and that’s how I’ll continue to refer to you. Suck it up, buttercup. Round these parts my word is law and if you don’t toe the line you’ll find yourself kicked around until you do. Understand me?” He knew she heard him, she was just choosing to be a pain in the ***.

“You ain’t gonna vomit but this is the last chance that you have to drink it, or I’ll shove it down your throat.” There was another way, but he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction, and he sure as **** wasn’t going to use his power on her either. She needed to put her former life behind her and learn that this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park and **** wasn’t going to be handed to her on a silver platter just because she felt she was entitled to it.

[Nirvana (DELETED 5978)]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

<Nirvana> “Your word is law?” She shook her head. “So you are saying you’re a sheriff?” Nirvana didn’t believe it for a second. “Where is your hat, your badge?” She gave a look of disapproval. Oh, Nirvana was going to drown in these waters she was testing around him - and he was going to be the one to drown her. She had pride, she did when she was a snivelling coward like the night of her siring. “If you can call me devil childe, I will call you milkshake.” She said lifting her nails to her eyeline as she inspected them. If he couldn’t call her by her name, she wouldn’t either. There had to be a give somewhere. “You’ll have to accept it.”

Giving in, she ripped open the bag with the tip of her fang and drained the contents of the blood bag before dropping the empty packet to the floor and found herself gagging. It was horrible, so horrible. She felt like she was going to vomit. She grabbed the hem of Micah’s shirt and bent her body over as if she was going to throw up. She gagged, and gagged. until finally her stomach settled and she uncurled her fingertips from her shirt. She let the blood dribble down her from her mouth and onto her clothes. “Happy?” She asked.

<Micah> The look he gave her could have peeled paint from the walls. “I’m your sire, and the head of your bloodline along with my wife who you will treat with the respect that she deserves. You don’t have to like me. I don’t give a **** if you hate me. In time you’ll grow to respect me and if you don’t well, thats no skin off my back. But the one thing I’ll not tolerate is any ********, drama or **** talking in regards to Velveteen. I have zero tolerance for that so the sooner you get that through your head and accept it the better of you’ll be. And no, you ain’t gonna call me milkshake either.” ***** had a death wish. She had to.

His face twisted in a scowl as he forced her hand off of him. “Quit the fuckin dramatics. It’s blood. It’s stale but it will sustain you until I trust you enough to go out and feed on your own.” Which would be ages if she kept up this kind of attitude. “Extraordinarily,” he drawled in a lazy, disinterested tone in response to her question. “But you look like a hobo.”

<Nirvana> He was going on about this Velveteen chick like she was meant to mean something to her - she had never heard her name until tonight so she just shook her head and found herself shrugging her shoulders. “Sure?” She said. “I mean I haven't met this Velveteen person. So I can’t kill **** talk her - not sure why I would either.” Then she pointed her finger in Micah’s direction. “You on the other hand, you're attitude stinks too.” She nodded her head - agreeing with herself.

She knew her attitude stunk right now, but so did his. Then came the comment of looking a hobo - she looked down at herself and scowled. She did look like a hobo and she looked at Micah and wondered if he had any new clothes for her up his sleeve.

“Got any clothes for me?” She asked curiously, her chocolate hues looking towards milkshake with a grin. “I’m not dropping the nickname for you, killer.” She said with a wink. Milkshake was going to stick, for as long as he called her devil childe. She was going to call him milkshake - if she had to accept the title, then he needed to accept his.

<Micah> “I know you ain’t met her but you will. This is my way of telling you that I won’t tolerate disrespect towards my wife. Something for you to keep in mind.” His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I earned the right to have an attitude. You on the other hand haven’t earned ****. So deal with it.” Women. No - not women. Motherfuckin gingers. Crazy, every last one of them.

He eyed her as if he was debating something then moved to open the door. A blonde entered, her features pale and drawn but she was dragging a suitcase behind her. “This is Bunny. You won’t see her much but remember her face. If your fangs find their way into any part of her you’ll be chewing on the barrel of my gun. She isn’t food.” He took the case from the girl and dismissed her, waiting until she’d used her tome before turning to Nirvana once more. The case was shoved in her direction. “Bunny purchased you a few things to get you started. If she’s forgotten something let me know and I will remedy that.’

<Nirvana> “Perhaps as a vampire no, but as an individual. I’ve done a fair bit thank you very much.” There was a scowl as she crossed her arms over her chests in a defiant stance. She didn’t have a leg to stand on the man was bigger - more confident than she, and she seemed to to be an ant to the man, so why did he turn her then - what use was she to me? She was just a health and fitness instructor over at Sullys Gym. He possibly couldn’t have known that as she rubbed at her chin in thought.

She looked at the suitcase - then at the blonde who came in. She was pretty and Nirvana took a step towards her, wanting to touch her at least. The sound of her beating heart filled her eardrums and she wanted the woman - but the stern order from Micah made her stop. She wasn’t allowed to touch her. She huffed in annoyance and then nodded her head in understands.

“Alright.” She said slowly. Nodding her head again to make sure Micah understood that she understood his directions about NOT feeding off her. She could stick to it. She then vanished and she blinked. Arm outstretched to point at the spot where she had once stood. “Where did she go?” She blinked. “How did she do that?” “Can I do that?” She took the briefcase then as it was shoved in her direction and held it to her chest - that attitude she wore moments ago was seeping away like sand on a beach during a tide.

<Micah> He looked at her for several long minutes, rather suspiciously really. Like he didn’t believe she’d leave Bunny alone. And after the fuss she’d kicked up over having to drink bagged blood who could blame him? No one fed on Bunny. She was family to him, having been with him even longer than he’d been involved with Velveteen. There was a mutual respect between the two. She would conduct his day business and help out with the faction when needed and he would protect her as long as he could. Sooner or later he’d have to let her go, when she got to the point that she just couldn’t do it anymore. That was a long ways off though, and it wasn’t something he liked to think about.

“That was a tome. It’s bound to a location through a ritual. You don’t need to know how to do rituals to use one, and if you want I can bind you one to this place.” he waved a hand around vaguely indicating the sewer dwelling they were currently standing in. “They’re nice to have. Makes getting home a lot easier especially if you’re tired.” He noticed that she seemed to have lost some of her attitude. Dare he hope that it was a sign of things to come?

<Nirvana> A tome? It sounded magical. The killer found herself canting her head to her left. Red hair falling onto her shoulders and caressing the dirty skin there. As she thought about the tome. Rituals. What was that? It seemed to hold an endearing factor to her. She leaned forward a little more - this time it was due to excitement as she nodded her head. “How do you make them? Can I make them too?” There was a squeal added in there somewhere the killer wanted to do rituals, the way the human had vanished without a trace - leaving nothing of herself.

“Do you have a tome - does your tome come here too?” She asked. As she opened up the briefcase. Inside the damn thing was black leggings and a white tee shirt. She looked it over and it seemed to be fitting to her size, she found herself looking over the top of the briefcase to Micah with a curious stare. “How did you know what size I was?” The question was simply curious. He couldn’t just look at her and know her size - or, did he?

She looked back to the briefcase and began to delve inside once more - there was bath salts. A hairbrush. Heck, a pair of white sneakers. Brand new. She looked back up from the briefcase and raised an eyebrow. Was he… doting on her?

<Micah> He cringed at the sound of her squeal. “You have to learn how first but eventually yes - you can make a tome for yourself. You can only bind it to a location that you own though so you’ll need a place first. I don’t mind making you one for now. Rather have you in a safe place when you rest instead of out on the open.” Not that he expected anything to happen to her. It had been relatively quiet as of late but he had a few enemies. Wouldn’t surprise him if they decided to go after his childer just to try and look like a hard ***. People we stupid like that.

“No...my tome takes me elsewhere.” He answered as he watched her go through the case Bunny had dropped off. His shoulders lifted in a shrug and he looked anywhere but at her. “You’re small like Bunny is. I just asked her to bring you something in her size that would be comfortable. AIn’t all that but of a deal,” he muttered and inched towards the door. “Im gonna leave and let you get cleaned up. Just...call if you wanna hang out or something.” He was terrible at being social and he needed to put some space between the two of them. He was finding her to be a bit too likeable and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. “Theres a phone in there too. Bunny programmed the important numbers in it for you. Just...call. Or text.” And with that he fled.

[Nishaa]

Backdated to May 31st 2015

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Trahir Trahison Trahir is lounging on one of the couches, webphone in hand and a look of disgust on his face as he reviews the violations list on CrowNet. He was hungry to learn more about tracking down rogue vampires and violators and had, since his youth, always learned best when in a hands on atmosphere. He flipped the page over to check on the auctions and frowns. No oil for sale. So far the evening had been going every way but the right way. At least no one had outbid him on the gun he wanted - yet. He hangs up the phone and drops it into the inside pocket of his leather jacket as he notes the telltale feeling that he is not alone any longer and glances around. Spotting Helena he rises and gives a little bow. "Helena, good evening."

Helena Helena glanced at Trahir, anyone else who might be around appeared either napping or busy. She gave a slight nod in response, "Good evening, Trahir. Keeping well?" She didn't particularly harbour any ill sentiment over his sulking the last time they had encountered each other. All in all, it was fairly to be expected. She shoved her hands into her pocket, on one wrist was a bracelet that connected to Skoll's leash. The huge black wolf at her side, calm as a puppy at it's master's heels after a run through the wild.

Trahir Trahison Inclining his head at the question Trahir answers, "Very well, thank you. I trust your evening is treating you well also?" He looks over to the wolf and gives a small smile. "That is a fine specimen. A very fitting animal companion for a fellow predator. Did you choose a wolf for any symbolism they hold?" He looks back to the beast's mistress, gaze following the collar, up the leash and then to her eyes.

Helena She narrowed her eyes for a moment at the word specimen. While it was hypocritical of her to treat Skoll any differently than any other animal, considering she liked to go hunting while alive, the word seemed repulsive to use on Skoll. Like it were just a matter of time before he was on display. Nonetheless, she didn't let it upset her terribly, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that word on him. He's a companion, not a specimen." About that time, the small sugar glider peeked out from the collar of Hel's jacket -the 'gift' Doc had so generously given Hel for the Holidays. She rolled her eyes and patted it's head, "No. I was out hunting and apparently it's mother had been taken at the hands of some hunters. It followed me all the way back to town - Skoll that is. Beastly little thing. I'd hold him at arms length. Eventually I gave up on getting rid of him, he's too soft for the wild. It was quite a nuisance to me, being responsible for the well-being of something else." Despite the last words, she didn't seem at all unhappy.

Trahir Trahison The man silently watches and notes the reaction but says nothing of it, "Yes, taking another under one's wing can certainly add complications into one's life," he agrees. "They can be so worth it though, what they give in annoyance and exasperation they repay in loyalty and affection. Such simple things, so under appreciated when one has them. My pets would as soon eat me as look at me. Luckily they aren't yet large enough to have that option. Still, I care for them as well. It's funny isn't it?"

Nishaa came in dusting her hands from all that hard work at the crafting bench. The woman was such a hard worker. Yet as she strolled in she noticed two vampires chattering away. Helena, and well. Someone she didn't know. She made her way over to the sofa and took a seat. Her arms pushing backwards to rest against the top as she watched the duo from a safe distance. Raising an eyebrow. Raven hair was lazily laying against her ramones tee.

Helena Hells nodded, slightly. The small sugar glider began to get impatient and scampered across her torso, under her jacket before it squirmed it's way loose and took off a leap from her shoulder to land on that 'safe distance' away. As for Skoll? Well. He was still learning that the small creature was family not food so he shot off after it, yanking on his mistress' arm. Had she been human, her arm would have came clean out of socket. Instead, she grabbed a hold of the wall with her nails, digging in and dug her heels into the ground, stopping the large beast in it's tracks, "Personally, I think he's just too stupid to turn on me." She eyed where the Glider landed, "Nishaa, hej."

[Helena (DELETED 4251)]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Nishaa Onyx hues looked to the little creature clinging and tugging at Helena. Smiling at her. Then looked to the other male. "Evening, Helena." She said. Crazy hues looking back to the male. "Who is your friend? I've never seen him before." She didn't have one of those awesome telepath powers where she could appraise people willy nilly. Instead she just raised an eyebrow waiting for the man to introduce himself.It was rude to keep a lady waiting. Nishaa was no lady.

Trahir Trahison The young vampire gives Nishaa a bow as he tears his eyes away from Helena letting them stray over the new arrival. His blue eyes meet with her many-hued orbs and he gives his introduction. "Trahir Trahison m'lady, at your service." He fights the instinct to offer his hand as was his custom before meeting other vampires, not wanting to repeat his prior faux pas and offend anyone.

Helena While the two talked, Trahir giving his greeting. Helena focused on wrangling Skoll in. Her method? Since she had neither Bamse, Eevee, or a squirt bottle or rolled up newspaper. She took off her high heeled shoe and motioned like she'd beat him with it. The large wolf instantly stopped, dropped, and rolled over to bear his belly with a loud, puppy like whine. The Sugar Glider made itself cozy on Nishaa's shoulder away from the lumbering beast it enjoyed teasing, "He is Vel's new adopted."

Nishaa Nishaa watches the man and bows. Another eyebrow raise and she shakes her head. "I'm no ******* royalty. Don't you dare bow to me." She gave her arm a shake as she stood up from the chair and made her way over to the duo. The little tiny creature nestled itself onto her shoulder and she looked it over unsure if she should try to pet it, but she turned her eyes to the Trahir. The bridge member. She found herself laughing. "So you are the bridge member. I wondered when you'd introduce yourself to me." She laughed. "I'm Nishaa. Nishaa Andras." Not many people knew her name but she was sure he would remember her name. "Adopted by Vel?" She nodded remembering that. "I see." "Childe of Evee, granchilde of Micah." She said - a formal introduction right there.

Helena Helena snickered, covering her lips with a hand to hide the smirk that formed. Nishaa's bluntness was always so lovely and refreshing whenever she got to see the girl.

Trahir Trahison Trahir nods at the introduction. "Velveteen and Micah were kind enough to take my grand-childe Corentine and myself in after finding out that my own sire had vacated prior to my waking up from the embrace." He adjusts his stance, turning to have both of the women in front of him so as not to exclude either from conversation and says, "The Bridge. Yes, I keep making new friends there. Quite the experience thus far."

Helena "You've made a bit of a bad first impression it appears, I won't lie. But if you're not a weak link, keep persevering."

Nishaa She catches the giggle from Helena and offers her a wink. Oh, the woman knew how blunt she could be at times. "They are nice people." She admitted. "Embrace?" She shook her head. "You sound like ******* dracula. This is the year 2015, not the eighteen hundreds, jesus." She made a motion of rolling her eyes at the man. Friends? They were hard to come by. Nishaa had often been told quite a few times that she was very blunt and usually straight to the point. Perhaps she was doing it right now. Oops. "You are not my friend." She said bluntly. "You have many hoops to jump through before you can call yourself my friend."

Trahir Trahison He gives a small smirk. "To be honest, Helena, with the variety of backgrounds within the few individuals I have met from the faction I wouldn't expect anything different. The only concern I have is keeping the Masquerade since I see it as the most viable chance to thrive and survive. Everyone in Tytonidae has that same goal and that makes them allies in the cause. It doesn't necessitate my liking them or their liking me. I would risk being sent to the Shadow Realm for the cause, but if it is purely a popularity contest I can assure you, I won't make it past the Bridge. Fight for Tytonidae, yes. Defend a Tytonidae member against anyone, yes. Friends? Secondary in my estimation to the work Tytonidae does." He gives Nishaa the barest hint of a smile. "I blame my vernacular on my upbringing. I've never been accustomed to using slang. Whenever I try it seems it sounds like a parody of those more comfortable with it so I avoid it lest it come across as mocking."