In our darkest hour
In my deepest despair
Will you still care?
Will you be there?
In my trials
And tribulations
Through our doubts
And frustrations
In my violence
In my turbulence
Through my fear
And my confessions
In my anguish and my pain
Through my joy and my sorrow
In the promise of another tomorrow
I'll never let you part
For you're always in my heart.
A lot has gone on in the last few days, some of which I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. I can't really say I’m surprised about any of it all. Still, that doesn’t make the events any less tragic.
Though it’s over, it’s not truly over, and won’t be until the growth and rebuilding that needs to be done is done. It’s not an easy task, but at least I know with certainty where I need to begin.
On a positive note, I’m finally employed again. Granted, I wasn’t searching too hard after my time at the tattoo studio expired, but I think this is going to be good for me. We’ll see how it goes.
Enough for now, I’ve got to get things ready for tomorrow night.
I enjoyed myself more then I expected to last night. 3 pirates, a vampire, and a mime. Fun was bound to be had, right?
This is my favorite time of year. Fall colors, smells, and Halloween. The fact my Birthday comes 2 days after doesn't hurt, either.
We made progress. Not that we never get anything accomplished, but lately, I've been walking away from our discussions wanting to draw blood. That's kinda the norm though. I find I typically feel some sort of extreme emotion when dealing with him, whether it be devotion or rage. I can't explain the level of power he has over me. On one hand it's comforting, but on the other it's scary as ****.
Moving on. I feel like I was finally able to express some things that have been weighing on my heart, and in a constructive manner. There was the sense that I could be as honest as I wanted, a feeling I haven't had in awhile. I sometimes fear I'll say the wrong thing, and when it's like that I tend to hold back. Holding back does nothing for me, except lead to knock down drag outs...and I've had enough of those to lost for awhile.
I've also had enough writing, so I'm going to end this here.
Stumbled across this today and almost didn't recognize myself. It's crazy how far my artwork has come, from a sleeve to what I've got going on now.
-kAa
The last few days have been a whirlwind, where do I even begin?
How about with the fact that I was SOLD for 65K on Halloween, to a guy named Lee who has made it very clear that he wants to taste my blood. Still, he seems nice enough, considering. As I understand, he's essentially going to make me choose my own fucked up fate for the duration of my servitude. We'll see how this goes. Either way, I'm sure blood will be shed.
Last night was amazing. We had the grand opening at work and the turnout was wonderful. Everyone looked great! My last minute costume choice was a big hit, and I even managed to make up some shots that fit right in with my theme. BB seemed to enjoy them a lot, so I'm going to take that to mean they were delicious.
We somehow ended up having impromptu auctions, of employees and patrons. I now own three very attractive men for a night. I didn't need to pay money to hang out with any of them...but I can be rather possessive of people I care about, so I wanted to ensure they'd end up in safe hands...like mine. On the flip side, I also owe a night to someone as well, since the time came around for me to be sold. It's always surprising to see how much money someone is willing to spend on you.
Anyway, I'm not psychic (though that's debatable) but I think I'm really going to enjoy my time with him, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Good things are happening, journal. Very good things indeed.
Am I perfect? No, and I've never said I was. Am I a *****? Probably. But let me tell you what I'm not- a skank, slut, whore, or any other slur that means a promiscuous woman. No one in this town knows, without a doubt who has and hasn't been in my bed. And if I did want to **** until I can't **** anymore...whose business is it? I'm an adult and this is my body, so miss me with the ********.
It's amusing how many people in glass houses throw rocks these days. Worry about your own **** and forget about me. I've done it on my own before, and I sure as hell haven't forgotten how to do it now. Momma didn't raise a dumbass. Trust no man, trust no *****.
Now, off I go for a run. Maybe I'll hunt for oil or something after. Until next time...
Same ****, new night. I'm thankful for the few people around who I can honestly say I love and trust. I don't know where or who I'd be right now without them.
Babe's as amazing as ever. It's crazy to think what chance can do for you...
He knows me well, too. He gave me a sweet weapon last week. I can't wait to pummel some *** with it. Speaking of which...
Some people really need to grow up and move on. You'd think I've been taking anger management classes with the control I've shown recently. Hurting someone I care about over a non-mother *******-factor ***** just isn't where I'm at anymore. Furthermore, people who haven't the faintest clue about **** that has gone on in my past need to shut the hell up and worry about their own asses. When you know facts you can come to me; until then...have several ******* seats.
