Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

For all descriptive play-by-post roleplay set anywhere in Harper Rock (main city).
Lorelai
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Lorelai »

"I am?"

Lorelai was used to being told a lot of things but no-one had ever called her interesting before. Pretty, kind-hearted, sweet, generous, lots of other words had been attributed to her but interesting, never. She wasn't the smartest from among the commune. People rarely spoke to her about anything of any real substance. Yes, she read. She was well educated. Or at least as educated as a young girl in her position could be and yet still, she was often over looked by her peers.

"You really could use me as inspiration?"

She turned and looked at Robin. Sizing him up to see if he was just making fun of her. That was entirely possible and the most rational explanation as far as she was concerned. Robin was from the real world and could therefore never find a small town girl like Lorelai interesting. It was part of the reason she'd never spoken up about how she felt about him. How could Lorelai Lee ever hope to catch the eye of someone with a worldly vision.

"Please don't tease me," she said quickly dismissing the idea out of hand, "it's quite cruel."

Having said that, though she probably shouldn't have, she endeavoured to answer him regardless. She should have perhaps begun by explaining what she meant by her exclamation but she didn't. Instead she tried to image a universe in her possession. Would she swear on them? Or swear for them? All her instincts would be to protect the stars. To treat them as precious. She imagined herself outside of nature's hand, as a guiding force. She would of course be a kind and benevolent spirit. She would seek to protect. To guide. To nurture.

Of course such instincts are one sided and it wasn't long before her inner voice told her how stupid she was being. A star could only shine in the darkness. If everything was light, there would be no dark and a star would no longer be the beacon she wished it to be. Balance was required and if she was incapable of embracing the dark, then her stars would never reach their full potential.

Don't tell him that. You'll make a fool of yourself. Again. Just nod and say something vague. You're blonde. You can get away with that. No-one expects anything profound to come from your lips.

"I don't think I'd like to possess the stars," she said having thought over a suitable reply. "It would be too much responsibility. I would be afraid I would fail them."

Yep. Like that. Vague Lorelai. I said say something vague. Good job. You're secured yourself in the hall of fame for the most pathetic creatures on Earth.
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Robin Little
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Robin Little »

Robin shrugged his shoulders.

Oh, yeah, he could definitely use Lorelai for inspiration, but he wasn’t sure whether he could do her justice. Or, maybe not justice – but she might not like the way she looked from his perspective. So far, the impression he’d got was that she was a girl who wanted more but didn’t know how to get it. Maybe she was afraid, and she was going to let that fear hold her back. Or maybe she really did believe in all this cultish behaviour, in which case she would be painted as a bit of a lunatic. Not that she could help it, really. She was a product of her upbringing.

And she would also be painted as having the self-esteem of pond-scum. That is, none at all. Maybe she would look like a pathetic creature. But maybe that, too, was a product of her upbringing. Maybe she had people around her who wouldn’t ever make her feel as if she were worth it. Maybe that was part of their creed – don’t let people get big heads, because that’s when they start causing trouble.

”I think the stars are quite independent and can take care of themselves,” he said. ”There are two ways to interpret the use of ‘my’. It connotes possession, something to be used. Something inanimate. But it also indicates sentiment. Like my love or my dear. Unless you’re a sociopathic axe murderer, calling another person ‘my’ only indicates a kind of deep attachment. I’d think that the stars would only be ours insomuch that we love them too much to let anyone else have them,” he said, quite happily. He didn’t defend himself against Lorelai. If she wanted to think he was being cruel, then that was up to her. He couldn’t change her personality. And besides, he’d already forgotten that part of the conversation. He was too preoccupied thinking about the stars.

”And of course they belong to other people. Like that one movie I watched about this guy who fell in love with a robot, only to in the end realise that the same robot was being used all over the world. Men all over the world were falling in love with her. And though he could keep pretend that she was his, and his only, he couldn’t. We just need to forget that anyone else exists, and continue to tell ourselves that the stars are ours, and ours alone,” he said, his words a low rumbling mumble as he went far too overboard with this hypothetical story – until he realised he’d run out of things to dry. He blinked at Lorelai.
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Lorelai
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Lorelai »

He may as well have been speaking Chinese for all Lorelai knew, as she understood very little of what he said at that point, which only served to make her feel more foolish and stupid than ever. Her cheeks turned a dark crimson and as she allowed herself a moment of reflection she soon realised that Robin was far too good for any of the women of Hoshkosh, herself included.

"I haven't seen that film," she said in a quiet voice as she pulled the plug out of the sink and allowed the water to drain from it now that the washing up was done. "I don't get to watch a lot of movies."

This was an understatement. In her entirely life she'd seen maybe a handful of movies. Books were far more valuable resources in terms of information and entertainment; at least they were in Hoshkosh. She let the subject drop at that. Robin had done his part in assisting her and all that was left to do now was to put the items away in the right places.

"Thank you for your help Robin. It was very much appreciated."

She wasn't sure what else to say at this point as Robin would soon be leaving and she would be but a distant memory to him. Even if she wished upon every star in the heavens, she was certain that she would be unable to make him stay and even more sure of the fact that he could never love her. It was this realisation that caused her to hug him again; only this hug was a lacking in any real emotion content and was far more standoffish than her last one had been. Lorelai didn't feel as if she were losing her friend, she felt as if she had lost him already.

"Good night Robin. I'd ask you to stay but I don't wish to keep you from your plans with Marribelle."

It was a lie of course, as she'd of loved nothing more than to have kept him out of her clutches, but reason it as she might, it wasn't her job to do. Robin would have to face the woman alone, and probably break her heart too.

She doesn't have a heart.
Yes she does. Don't be so cruel.
I'll think what I like. Someone has to be the bad girl here and you're not up to the task. You know it and I know it.
I know.
So just be quiet and let me hate her for the both of us.
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Robin Little
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Robin Little »

Sometimes Robin ended up on a roll. He talked a lot of ****, and most of the time the only people who could keep up with him were others who liked to talk a lot of ****. And normally, they weren’t really keeping up with him, but were instead only pretending, and taking snippets of his ******** and rolling with it, making up their own ****. Normally, these kinds of conversations happened when he was high, and when everyone else around him was high. Impassioned conversations around a fire somewhere, tents set up behind them, marshmallows melting and burning in the flames. There was always a lot of laughter. But they always woke up with blurry memories and killer headaches. At least, Robin found that the older he got, the less his body was able to take the abuse. Though that didn’t stop him.

When Lorelai pulled the plug, Robin folded the towel and looped it through the oven’s handle, so it could hang and dry. Lorelai hugged him again, and the previous topic was dropped. Lorelai didn’t want to talk about stars anymore, or possession, or sentiment. Robin cleared his throat. It was probably for the best. Even he had lost the thread of his own tangent by now.

He could also take a hint when one was handed to him. Even though he was pretty sure he had no plans with the other girl, he supposed he should probably go home just in case he had committed to something and couldn’t quite remember. He nodded.

”Not a problem, Lorelai. Thanks for dinner. I’ll see you soon,” he said with a small smile. Even if it wasn’t her who’d cooked the dinner, he thanked her for it anyway. It wouldn’t take him long to leave the premises; to wander slowly through the dark of the compound, the sound of nature surrounding him. Maybe he would miss this. The quiet, the freshness of the air. But maybe he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t know until he got back to the city. And even then, he might be too preoccupied with other things to spare any thoughts for what he may or may not miss.

He had told Lorelai that he would see her soon, but would he? Maybe. Maybe on the day that he left, he’d go and say goodbye. Or maybe he’d pull a classic Robin and leave without saying goodbye. Call a cab and slip off quietly, without a fuss. Robin disliked fusses.
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Lorelai
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Lorelai »

*Several days later*

Robin was leaving and while Lorelai tried not to let that get to her, it was difficult. A part of her had been urging her to get some distance from him and to avoid him in those last few days but she didn't listen to it. Yes, it would perhaps cushion his leaving as she would have forced herself to get used to his absence with him still there but that was just wasted time as far as she was concerned. Instead she had gone in the opposite direction and spent as much time as possible in his company. As much time as he would allow that was, and no more time than what was acceptable in the eyes of others.

"You do have my address. Correct? And you honestly will write to me when you are settled, even if you never write again after that."

This was perhaps Lorelai's greatest fear. Their friendship was coming to an end and she didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. She should have been used to people coming and going and to some extent she was but those people were not Robin. She wanted him to stay, even though she knew he never would. She wanted to go with him, even though she knew she wasn't ready, might never be ready. It was strange to her to feel so torn over someone's going like this.
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Robin Little
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Robin Little »

Robin had tried to slip away without anyone noticing, but he had failed. Somehow, word about his leaving had spread through the commune, and there was no way he was going to be able to leave without a fuss. There’d been a party the night before – and now, as Robin stood with his one ratty suitcase and one bag slung over his shoulder, with one pile of books tied up with string in the other hand (the rest he’d left in his cabin for whoever the next occupant might be) he was feeling slightly seedy. Not because the party had been full of alcohol and the worst kind of drug abuse, but because he’d had no sleep. And because, well – let’s face it. He always had his own store of whiskey, somewhere.

Everyone else had said their goodbyes, and now he was standing with Lorelai. He would probably always have said goodbye to Lorelai. She was too sweet not to. He’d feel like he’d kicked a puppy in the gut – which was not something he would ever do, even if he didn’t particularly like puppies.

”Yeah, of course,” he said in reply to Lorelai. He had double checked the address several times – knew that he had it right, because the cab was standing there idling, its exhaust spilling into the air at the gates of the commune, waiting for Robin. If the driver could find him, then the letter would find the place, too. He had a friend waiting for him at the other end to pay for the cab fare. An expense that he had promised to pay back.

”I’ll write to you about all my epic adventures. They won’t be true. I’ll write them just to persuade you to come visit,” he said with a chortle. And, in that moment, he meant it too. Whether he actually kept the promise would be another story. But he would at least try.

He held out his arms for a hug. All goodbyes came with hugs.
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Lorelai
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Lorelai »

A sad smile was all she could offer when he teased her about writing of his adventures so she'd come visit but it was at least a genuine one. When he held out his arms to her, she immediately stepped into his space and wrapped her arms around him. Lorelai buried his face in his shoulder and tried not to cry.

Be happy for him Lorelai. He's getting out of this place. He doesn't belong here.
I know. It's just...
You're going to miss him. I know. But you could see him again one day. Focus on that.


Choking back the tears that threatened to moisten his clothing, she reluctantly pulled away from him. He had to leave before this lace crushed his spirit, she knew that. It was the same reason most people left. They stayed to recharge but once the holiday was over, they returned to the real world to get on with their lives.

"Please look after yourself Robin. And if you ever need anything... You know where to find us."

Lorelai took a hold of his hands. She knew doing so wouldn't keep him there but she just needed to do it. To say goodbye. To let him know that no matter that she'd be there for him, that he'd always have someone out there that cared for him.

"Be happy Robin."

These parting words were little more than a whisper, the tears finally starting to run down her cheeks, as she could fight them no more. No matter what she told him, her friend was leaving and she might never see him again.
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Robin Little
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Re: Hoshkosh Flashbacks (Robin Little)

Post by Robin Little »

”Jesus Christ, Lorelai. I’m not dying!” he said. In truth, Robin was horrified. This was why he thought it might have been better to just slip away and avoid all this mess. No one had ever cried when he’d told them he was leaving before. In fact, he’d always got the impression that they were happy to see him go. And not because they liked looking at his backside, as nice as it might be. (No Robin didn’t think much about his own backside, let alone that it might be a nice one).

Although Robin never intentionally tried to be insensitive, sometimes he probably came across that way. He didn’t want to feel guilty for leaving a place, but with her tears, Lorelai was making him feel just that. Like he was… breaking up with her rather than just moving into the city. He laughed, if only to keep the frown from creasing his brow. Underneath it all, he tried to be optimistic. He was optimistic on the surface, at least—better to laugh than to be angry with her. He had to remind himself that human emotions were wild, where human reason was controlled. The emotions couldn’t be tamed, so Lorelai couldn’t help them. All Robin could do was maybe try to help to soothe them, though he had a feeling he’d probably only make them worse before he ran away from them.

”Seriously,” he said, his grip tightening just a little on her hands. The hold had shifted, and now he had her fingers between his. ”I’m just going to the city. It’s not even that far by car – and you saw how easy it was for me to call the cab here. I’m not going to war,” he said, laughing again. He then pulled his hands from Lorelai’s. Probably too quickly.

”Cheer up, Buttercup,” he said with a bright grin. He snatched up his belonging and turned to the cab, tossing them into the open boot before slamming it shut. ”I’ll see you soon,” he called over his shoulder as he opened the back door of the cab and slipped inside.

As soon as Hoshkosh was out of sight, he’d probably stop thinking about it. He’d be thinking forward, to the city, and the fresh start there.
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