The Education of Iris

[Iris von Drol]

10/1/2012

Details are hardly important when you get the whole picture and then some. I don’t struggle on the minor points anymore. It once was tedious and now its effortless. Must be some of the changes I feel taking place. I still have not taken a whole lot of time to think about all that has happened. I know the mind that once was a terrible thing to waste now has become wide open for many to dip into like a public sand box to scatter around based on their whims. I watch what is around me and I know it in turn is studying me as well. I try to be cautious and guarded. Keeping your eyes and ears open and staying in a routine keeps the risk for trouble down.

I am finding my sense of adventure has turned more inward in its pursuits of late. Let it be said that self discovery never ceases even if the mortal heartbeat does. My education continues even if my college courses have been set to the side since arriving to Harper rock. For escape from the enormous amount of downtime, I have voraciously absorbed the reflections and expressions of the passionate and tormented writers that line my cherished library. Often I find many titles are read obsessively. I have been known to carry the book of current interest with me wherever I go. My boss and creator thinks I need a new hobby. I think not.

I have too many books and my apartment looks like a library. As for favorites there are too many to mention but lately have indulged in the anonymous Victorian works that likely were a sin to have on a shelf not so long ago. Curiosity was the first lure of course in picking up these little gems in a shop. Isn’t it always? Could be a phase but something tells me I would bet my snuggery, mausoleum chamber and my corseted tea gown on it lasting a very long time. Delving deeper I found a beautiful abyss of order and discipline. I wonder if I was late in my arrival taking my first human breath by 160 years? When I get the nerve to pursue it I shall enjoy speaking with a few that are rumored to have been around long enough to add personal perspective on such a period of time.

I feel it important to record that I am so grateful for the presence of Zodiac. She has guided me and taken me under her wing like so many others in need of protection or care. The way things turned out had me in need of both. Without her the ink of these words would not be drying on the paper in the journal beneath my pen. She is one of a kind and I am indebted eternally to her for her kindness and generosity. I dare not think what would have happened to me otherwise.

If I am not reading the light hours away or attempting to take much needed rest then I am usually in a couple places which I always look forward to spending my time in. First is my job. It pays the bills. I am currently working sales and infrequent courier positions for Pandora’s Box in Honeymead Market. It is Zodiacs pride and joy. I consider it my home away from home. It is never dull, always busy and you meet the most eccentric and stimulating types that come in for whatever it is at the moment that they need.

The Qz is another place I tend to dart around in gathering parts for the store while on the random rat runs for Zo. Its making me stronger. I do feel like I need a night long shower afterwards but it is worth it. I tried hunting in the hunting grounds south of town but still not sure how I feel about that. The slime in the Qz is one thing but the animals that are indigenous to the area are really beautiful and meant to be there. Yes, I draw my sustenance with two sharp points that likely doesn’t separate me a whole lot from the creepy crawly things in the Qz.

I have met a few people but wont elaborate in too much detail. I am no different than I was human I guess. I think taking it as it comes is much better than giving it too much thought. I am curious on how things will evolve. One is completely forbidden and likely would bring far more trouble than a human deserves. Huge vat of conflicting feelings there. I shall not elaborate. Then there is another who is eccentric and literally seems to have walked out of some dark, twisted novel with an odd elderly gentleman at his side that is his constant companion. There really are no words to define that pair. Outside that I will be seeking out meeting others and socializing since I cannot deny I will be calling Harper Rock home for a very long time. Time for me to get to know those that exist around me and learn what is out there for me. Also, it is time for work. Back I shall be.

Iris

[Iris von Drol]

10/24/2012

I itch every time I am around him. My gums, my scalp and beneath my skin. I feel the workings of a somatoform bud beginning to pierce its way inconveniently into my otherwise dark and disturbing reality. I am beginning to believe my own fallacies. That is never a good sign. I am feeling the presence of what really isn't there and swear any point now I will need to burn my private library and rub down with Hydrocortisone Cream. It is a toss up on what I will do with it all. I could snip the persistent bud and eliminate the stimulus but that might not be the most pleasant route. That would be messy and pose more trouble than is warranted. Avoidance is always an option, however every time I apply that I only find myself deeper into the very situation I am trying to get out of. Denial. It has never been a good policy and has proven to be most ineffective thus far. I may need to ride out this chaotic rollercoaster instead and embrace it even if it kills me...again if that is possible. At this point I believe anything likely is.

I hear noises and voices in my bookshelves. That really creeps me out in the daylight hours when I am trying to sleep. It is a twisted presence and makes me ashamed to think I can be lethal and a chickens*** at the same time. There is a voice that accompanies whatever it is. It seems sweet and sinister all at the same time if that is possible. There is a fragile almost childlike quality to it too. I haven't told anyone about it. I asked Jennifer if she ever heard noises when nothing was otherwise there. She told me I needed to stop reading and spending so much time alone. I think she just wants to hook me up with the loser she can’t get rid of. I am running out of excuses there too. I might as well wear a white cornette, habit and stamp last of a dying breed on my forehead.

Work is going great. Pandora's Box may be expanding its inventory. New items are always exciting. I am planning to check out the university here and see about enrolling in classes. Need to finish what I started. Now that I have more time than ever to study and accomplish those unfinished goals I may change my major. I am learning more of the field of medicine than I ever planned on with the research I do now to explain away what makes me different. The possibilities are endless on what to pursue. May talk with the neighbor about it. That one never thinks I am odd. He and the creepy butler make anyone seem sane.

Back later. Delivery to make and then to the shop for the night shift. The traps are set. Hopefully I find what has been rattling the book shelves sitting inside one of them and waiting for me when I get off work.

Iris

[Iris von Drol]

10/31/2012

Fresh air and change is good for the soul. I have been outside a lot doing just that. I need to check into just how much is left inside me. Soul, not air. Not sure how all of that works yet. I know all I have to do is ask. Just getting up the courage to finally learn the cold hard facts will be the next step. Nothing out of the norm. Me with a ton of questions in need of answers. Go figure.

What is it like? That would be the first question I would ask someone if I knew they made the choice I did. You would think its like in the movies. You grow a set of incisors or whatever and have the carte blanche to prove you are in this for the long haul to be all bad and bold while taking on the world that failed you. It doesn’t work that way at all. You need so much more on board than two points to draw from. No manual comes with the new hardware and if you don’t have common sense before hand you find yourself in more trouble than you ever planned on. I thought college was overwhelming at times. Now I realize I had it so easy before.

Updates. This is the third entry and it is already time to add a few. I am finding the adjustments less difficult. I continue working at the shop to afford the new additions. Two actually. They are beautiful, majestic and to watch them run is a sight like no other. However, getting them to slow down is not an easy task. I learned that all too well driving them the first time. After a couple hours I learned the basics.

I have long term plans for the pair. I certainly was not a business major but I can see this being a wise investment. Tourists love coach rides for sight seeing and it is a nice way to get around. I think it will work as long as I don’t have some half-wit blown out of their mind with hunger finding them. Its getting cold and I figure I will see if I can find a garage that can fit the coach on skis so I can do the over the river and through the woods thing. Have to get some estimates soon on the cost to convert it back and forth. Snow can arrive anytime so I need to be prepared.

Horses are time consuming and require a lot of care. Between brushing, feeding and of course stabling I find less time than ever to do anything else. Yes, they leave quite a mess but I have been making it a positive thing. I scoop and haul it to the shop and I use the mountains of waste to fertilize the plants in the shop when Zodiac isn’t around. If asked about the new smell I will pass it off as a new incense for those earth loving types.

For now I need to get back out and finish the last paint job on the coach and then pick up a saddle before work. Tonight is Halloween. Can’t wait to see what arrives in the shop.

Iris

[Iris von Drol]

I should feel an ache for the time that has passed since I last was here. Ache for the irrational guilt of neglecting and inanimate object such as this but I do not entirely. In my absence from recording events I have been quite busy and the time has been invested in strengthening and learning the rituals as well as the use of the powers available to me if I apply myself. I shall not be overly lengthy in this entry and focus more on the events that would be significant for written record.

My properties and the business all have been doing modestly well and that is more than I could ask for. I seek not for riches or power but the minimal comfort I have acquired. I see no need to be gluttonous with what will not be taken beyond if the time comes I shall no longer be able to reach these pages or the world currently around me. Everything is subject to loss, change and is truly borrowed. Even the mortal breath was temporary so to think anything else can be possessed is denial of the reality that all living and not do in fact share.

The tiny voices that had been a disruption have continued but less frequent. This is also true of the toppling of the books upon the library shelves in the snuggeries and Sparrow Lane Carriage House. Whatever the source of the child-like sounds were it now seems to have gone dormant. Puck finds it a relief I imagine as he was likely growing exhausted dodging the random plummeting of a bound volume like missiles as he made his way back and forth through the rooms. I find I have less and less to clean up in that regard when I return from work or whatever else has pulled me away.

I have a female that speaks to me calling herself Mea Culpa. I do not see a form but I hear her clearly. I am told I should not be surprised or concerned at her constant presence. She lacks the sense of manners and social etiquette one should have to be permitted in any general public setting and is borderline tasteless in the expressions and phrases she insists on using.

In public I have been subjected countless times to indirect glances and unappreciated attentions often leading to sounds such as whistles and cat calls. One heathen even grunted similar to that of something in a bush giving birth. I am beginning to believe since they began when Mea Culpa’s presence became known then perhaps it is how she appears to those who can see wraiths. I will be asking Zodiac about this since she has the ability to see this Mea Culpa that continues to follow me. (Note: Mea Culpa asks that I remove this paragraph. Interesting. It seems she can read what I write by hovering over my shoulder. Back away and mind your own business, wraith, or back you will go. Is that clear?)

That brings me to what I found useful earlier today when Mea Culpa was singing a song that literally sounds like a call for copulation. Of course I was understandably mortified and demanded she stop. She told me I needed to “loosen up” and to “finally get laid.” I had enough of her repulsive and revolting antics. If I can hear her then I believe anyone else can. I have been spared the visual of her thus far but it in no way spares me the reactions that are truly embarrassing. What was coming out of her mouth dissolved the last of my patience.

I checked the auction and found it to be absent of those clever cages that seem to contain wraiths. I gave her a final warning which she ignored. I told her she would be easily removed from my presence and she told me she knows what to do to make me sing her praises. That was unacceptable and the last straw. I took to the ritual alter and remarkably upon first attempt successfully banished her to the place she came from. I waited the hour I explained in advance I would be giving her while she was away to think about her behavior and how she would conduct herself in general. Once the time had passed I brought her back. Other than the request to remove the content of this entry that is about her she has been quiet. I do believe we are beginning to make progress and she is learning her place.

September 1st. The date. I dare not say more.

Iris