Dog Days (Bluregaurd Davies' Vedio Diary)

[Bluregaurd (DELETED 3187)]

She sets the camera on the little writing desk in the corner of the room, and then positions the simple straight back chair to sit in the lenses sights. Bluregaurd takes her seat, and turns her ‘motion capture diary’ on. For a moment, she just sits there, starring at her clinch fists that lay upon her lap. Exhaling deeply, she then places her legs to sit Indian style, perched in the chair, and pulls her unkempt hair into a ponytail.



I don’t even know what day it is. I haven’t in a while. I DO know summer is starting to fade into fall. It is a bit of a slow process. One day it is hot as balls, the next it has a bit of a chill... but, I don’t actually get to feel it on my skin-just through the drafts in the loft. If I HAD felt it, it wouldn't matter how cool it was... it would still just burn. That takes some getting used to. Autumn leaves just don’t look as good in the moonlight... but, I digress. There is nothing to do about that.
It has also been months, with no word from Bill... or Dad... or anyone for that matter. I have stomped down every inch of this city and every place I couldn’t stomach, like my house and my aunts and uncle's houses in the QZ, Antigony check them for me. I didn’t know if I could face what I might find. But the little pixie didn’t find anything... not a hair, not even dust after all of these years. All of the pictures were gone too.. Like the place had been wiped of them completely. Later on, I went through some of the other houses in the Qz to see if they were the say, to see if it was a trend. But, only a handful or so were that way. In a sporadic manner as well. It had no sense to it at all... there were no hints to be found... Antigony said I should do things to keep me occupied, to keep my mind busy. So I don’t go dark on her, yet again... I have just come back to the surface after a battle I wasn't even sure- or I didn't even care- I was losing. I would wander the streets, fallowing leads, near killing anyone who didn't give me the answers I was looking for. I wasn't feeding often... so I had bought myself a one way ticket on the crazy town express, and there was no way I wanted to turn back. One night, after not resting for a week, and not feeding for longer- I found what I thought was a promising lead. A survivor from the QZ, and a lifelong friend of my father's. He wouldn't cooperate. We ended up in a rundown office building in Coastside- it was partially flooded. I had Hershel tied to a chair. I remember giving him a solid jab to the nose, and seeing the blood trickle down past his lip. After that, I am unsure of everything that transpired. There was musty water that turned a garish shade of red.it was too late by the time I realized.. Antigony help me dispose of the body.
Her eyes glassed over, as if she had been watching this horror movie play out in her head, watching herself ripping and tarring…the thoughts disgusted her to relive. She coughed, and made a slight gagging noise in the back of her throat. Shaking her head, and using the palm of her hand to pound down on her temple, to bring her back to the moment at hand.. Blu has had to do a lot of that lately.
so, ---she began again----- in between fallowing all of these dead ends leads; I have been visiting the library. Also been looking into some option for making the Dojo top notch again. That is a project that may as well take a life time. Luckily I have plenty of those.

She just sat there, unmoving, unwavering-like a statue. Finally after a handful of hours, the camera powers down due to low batteries.

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Months or so later, she repeats this process of keeping a log of recent happenings. Something is different though. It seems Blu has gotten some of her vitality back. Not only has she taken some care to her appearance – wearing a very fitted button up with a loosened red neck tie, some dark wash skinny jeans tucked into some simple, but stylish ankle high leather boots- her eyes also has a brighter quality to them. Like a gleam of hopefulness. She flicks on the camera, and greets it with a fox like half grin.
　
I am getting better at time dimension and awareness. So I feel like that is a plus. Like today is... January 3. Happy New Year, I suppose ---said with a pleasant smirk and giggle---.
The library has proven to be relatively crowded after closing, to my surprise. Seems like I can’t go into the joint without risking being seen by other lurkers and vandals. Matter of fact, my high school drama training saved my ***. A little while ago, I ran into a couple shady characters wile I was hid out in the 18th century poetry section. The female seem to have found herself in a tight situation when a man, who was ACTUALLY allowed to be in there, ran into her. I had just planned on sitting tight and enjoying the awkwardness, but the book I had tucked into my back pocket seemed to find a way to slip out, and then not so quietly crash upon the floor. In turn, putting me in a tight situation with both parties... if I didn't think fast, that is. And I am quick in a pinch. Growing up in an octagon I coned my way to the front door with the other woman. Seemed that we were in the clear. You know, seems to me.. I don’t think I ever got her name....
Also, still no word on my family. But, it does fuel me. I know I will get some kind of word soon. I mean, I learned how to fight somewhere. And if they are still out there, they are trying as hard as I am to get back. My Dad didn’t rise to wallow, he never did himself, even after Mom booked it out of town, he kept it together. He just climbed up out of his hole, and made things better. That is what we have always done together. And I will continue to do so without him, for him and Bill both.. Wish I would have had my level head months ago. I have just wasted so much time writhing, and bludgeoning my way through things. To try and find answers wile thrashing? I just was drowning instead. It has been extremely difficult being -not myself- living in my father’s Dojo, sleeping in Bills bed.... remembering all the times.. NO. I am making a declaration to be smart and calculating for the rest of my search. "People are their own greatest obstacles"... Dad would always say that... I wonder how they will see me, the way I am now. If they will still love me..
The thought takes a minute to soak in, but she quickly comes back.
I guess we will just cross that barricade when we get there, but now it is time to take Momma A to go see her first movie! I picked “Pride and Prejudice” so it wouldn’t be a total shell shock to her.

Laughing, she switches of the camera. Blu pulls her leather coat off of the back of the chair as she is leaving the room.