Curiouser and Curiouser

[Christine (DELETED 4388)]

This feeling is curious. The blood on my hands is so beautiful, it smudges the white paper on which I write and am I a sin? I can smell you everywhere around me, its a hunger that feels like love it makes me feel journal. You make me alive. Something so simple, a liquid heat that I can feel in every crevice of my body. It is molten heat. It makes me feel. I never want to stop this hunger. I never want it to end. I lay in bed awake, I can smell you when my window is open, I am too afraid to move, too afraid to find you, I don't want to lose control anymore. I'm lying. I do. I like it. Was i always this way? Do I even care?

I feel as if I should care. Shouldn't I? There you go again, walking by, stirring my hunger, heating my blood. I stand before my window and breathe you deeply. My insides feel like they are ripping apart. I need to feed. I need control...

[Christine (DELETED 4388)]

I'm so hungry. Every time I feed I fear I will kill. I take too much and leave them on the steps of the ER. I don't want to take a life, but I'm so hungry. I feel like a needy little *****, biting my tongue, waiting for my sire to return and continue to teach me how to live this life. My disgusting new existence. I need a partner with which to hunt. I need to practice, train and enjoy. I'm so hungry. -breathes deep-