Felicity's Log

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

Day 1

Today I was turned into a vampire, not sure what to even think about that. Things are so different now, yet the same in a way I suppose. My mind though, it’s in overdrive now, so many different thoughts, ideas, unanswered questions. There is so much to learn now, so much to understand. How does this affect who I am, what I am, and what I will become? Will I be a killer? I don’t know, life is not what I thought it was. It is fragile and delicate but yet there is another side to a side I thought were only in fairytales or movies.

I can feel the power coursing through me, similar to how blood use to rush through my veins. Now though I can feel so much more and see so much more. The way the street lights shine through the glass and cascade down the buildings, it’s amazing. Being able to see every single facet of something, life before this was dull and plain now it’s vibrant and has so much detail to it all.

Then though there is the hunger, the ever present need to feed. When it kicks in, my mouth and throat feel like sandpaper, and it is something that I cannot fight against, something I don’t want to fight against. I can’t deny it, but I don’t want to kill anyone, one day I may mistakenly and I am not sure what that will do to me. For now all I can do is fight to survive this and learn what I can as much as I can.

For now I need to find my answers, to understand exactly what I have become and what I will be. To know if the old me is dead or if she will continue on through this reborn person that I am now. Time will be the only thing that will show me the truth in that though. Life changes people and I know this will change me, I just don’t know how, or to what extent. All I can focus on right now is trying to understand what I can about this life. Are there laws in this world as there are for humans? How much of the human world affects ours? Are the humans a danger to us?

I wonder about Jesse, there is so much about this man that I don’t know. He changed me into what I am, in a way I suppose he saved my life. I have so much to ask him about, not just this life but about whom he is as well. I wonder how he came to be what we are, how he discovered what he was. I know I will figure it out one day, but I can’t just bombard him with questions, I don’t want to. For now I will take this a step at a time, a day at a time.

A part of me feels the same as I was, yet I know that is not exactly true.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

Day 2

I am still figuring this out, there is still so much that I don’t know that I want to know. Still my mind is a mess with so many different thoughts and so many different things to be amazed about. The lights the way they glimmer and reflect off of the glass how they scatter and dance over the buildings, it’s amazing to me, amazing that I never noticed it before. There are many other things that seem to grab my attention now.

Being able to hear the heartbeat of every living being, knowing when there nervous or scared or even lying, it’s amazing the secrets ones simple heart can give away. I wonder what mine gave away when Jesse met me. Did he know how nervous I was that night, or perhaps what I thought about him, I hope not. This life that I am now a part of I wonder what it will bring, what changes will take place, will anyone from my old life be able to recognize me.

My mind never slows down now; there are so many thoughts about everything and everyone around me. For the first time though I think I may have found a home, it’s a feeling more than anything else, and I don’t tend to follow my feelings. Then again that was before perhaps that will change. I have several questions about the Masquerade I know what it is but I want to know more. Not because I don’t like it, I think laws and rules are essential for everyone to survive and to live, but this is all new to me, like a state or country. Well it is a new country but that’s beside the point. For now though I will focus on the most important things, and figure out the basics in this life, I’m a fast learner though. So perhaps I will be able to learn quickly.