Zodiac's Grimoire and Diary

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 26
2/5/12. 4:26 AM

The Week of Sucks!

An eventful week to be sure. My mind is still spinning in circles over all that had happened. In way it seems like a bad dream I was sucked along in without a say in it all, but I would be lying to myself if I claimed something like that. Most of it was my choices and what wasn't my choice I could do nothing about even if I had tried.

I stepped away from the Sangue . I still can't believe that one. Maybe I was growing tired or restless. The urge to explore new things coming back to the surface. My time in this town has been the longest length of time I have stayed in one physical spot in my entire life. Before that it was a month the tribe paused near the Texas/Mexico border to wait out the worst of a winter up North. When we'd head South for the winter we usually traveled along there as well, but for a reason I cannot recall now, we waited.

Perhaps I was bored or wanted more time to work on my own ideas, or maybe I was not cut out to be part of a family. I can't say exactly now, but I stepped away from the family as others have done before. Scorp understood (I think) and talked me into not leaving the VN as well. Now there I am bored to tears. No call for mystics anymore, so on the eves I do sit and wait for a call I usually find myself sucked into a good book or television in the process. I can't sit still. I need to be working on things. I still debate the VN for now, but perhaps it is time to drag my mystic partner in for a pow wow and discuss some alternative marketing on some things. (Business cards and all)

Allie's ring sits in a box in my desk drawer now. I tried to return it several times, but she refused. The situation changed and I tried, but I could not be part of what was being offered to me. My heart was already screwed up by things that happened earlier in the Week of Sucks, and this twist was the one thing I could not deal with. Part of me regrets how this all happened, but as my Nanna always told me 'Never regret anything, because once in your life-it was exactly what you wanted' I am so sorry. I am. But this was not to be in the way it was unfolding.

Perhaps what had happened Sunday passed kicked off this mass panic of changes in my situation? Stupid war. Stupid me! I know people fight for reasons real or imagined, and I have tried to keep my perspectives when I choose to get involved in things anymore. I do bounties, I fight with family, but the idea of being a Merc in a war with issues that do not concern me leaves me cold inside. Was the issue during that little spat between those 2 before, but is a subject I beat to death when it happened elsewhere. But war is war I suppose, and people will have them if the reason is right or not. This time it involved Tempy, and I was not happy about it at all. To not go into all that again, she went, she fought, and now she is gone. Floating around in that Shadow land or whatever they call it.

So in less than a week, my entire world flipped upside down. Some by choice and the rest by things I had no control over. No family, no relationship, no friend and no real job to speak of. Goddess, let this be over soon. Things come in 3's Nanna said, so hopefully things will upswing again soon cause I count 4 here.

But enough for now. Time to start working on my hex for Sunday. New England is going down and the Giants need my help or they will mess it all up. How did the joke go? I am a fan of the Cowboys, Texans, and anyone who plays against the Patriots? (I used to have a shirt that said that somewhere.)

DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!

More laters.

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 33
2/14/12. 4:49 AM

My little world now shrinking down to normal again-finally.
Got a new job this week. Working for the SoA. Me and allurists? I know, weird-right?
I use to make the joke about 'Hoochie High' on this subject, but so far I have seen nothing like that at all. My official title is Mystic Tactical Instructor (makes me sound like I am on a SWAT team or some odd assistant coach for a team. 'Okay gang, we need the ol Mystic TI play number 4, on 3-break!' ) and I answer questions about being a mystic and what the powers do. Nothing backbreaking at all. Also sneaking peeks in other Instructors manuals and getting a clue whats in store for me as I do my own progressing along the bridges and paths.
So far everyone has been nice there. Its not much, but it gives me a sense of purpose rather than just lazin around waiting for a call to go smack somebody.

I am about 2/3rds of the way through a forgotten Christmas present now. It was a book I picked up on instinct when Tempy and I went Xmas shopping. It was a gift for Etienne (her psudeo sire/uncle/something) that little voice in the back of my head said he would enjoy. 'A Conneticut Yankee in King Authur's Court' by Mr Twain. She said he didn't do fiction, but I think he would have got the meaning of my choice in this.

Valentines Day. Yippie! Did the party at the Necro early. Saw a couple familiar faces, but no one wanted to dance. (Phooey!) Tempy and I were suppose to go but-allurist business. Blah! Hanging around with them gives you a different perspective, let me tell ya.

Well, Miss Ginny is nudging my pen hand, so I guess its time to give this up for now. More laters~

***********

Volume 7 Page 34
2/15/12. 12:05 AM

.....

Without a doubt,
absolutley,
positively,
damn skippy,
don't have to ask me twice,

YES!............

YES,YES,YES,YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more later-I'm too busy dancing!

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 37
2/22/12. 5:05 AM

I thought that being undead meant you were no longer suseptible to aches and pains?
They lied, my feet are killing me.

Just got back from the Mardi Gras party at the Met. I think the SoA had a nice turn out for this. I even got some beads and didn't have to flash my boobs! Score!

Nanna's red gown got a workout tonight as my costume. But I felt overdressed compared to some there. Doesn't matter really. We all had fun, and that was the importaint thing.

I think what actually marked this night for me was, it was the first time Tempy and I were 'public' about being a couple now. The word is spreading now, and several approved of the idea. I was mainly concerned about embaressing her in some way, shape or form durning the party. (Thank the goddess I can't drink or get stoned anymore, cause then I would have really been a potentail embaressment!) A lot of conversations, party games (I must say, I never saw baseball played the way I did earlier.) and dancing. Is why my feet hurt. Stupid heels! About the fifth dance I kinda kept forgetting them under the table when I got up.

Anyrate, a most fun and enchanting evening. "Fat Tuesday" is over. I never understood how the more traditional religious types managed to give up things for 40 days. I mean, I have fasted in the past as part of a ceromony or particular ritual, but not for 40 days! Ugh!

Just one more dance. Ah, curse the sun rise.

Anyways, I am tired. Will add more if I recall anything. Peace out!

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 46
3/24/12. 4:28 AM

What happens when you mix two types of science together?
Outside of my friend Rabies hoping for a major explosion, it usually equals a new science.
So when I heard the rumors coming from my beloved QZ, I had to go see.

When 2 types of magick get dumped together, one of two things happen. One, they cancel each other out or two, something very bad happens. And with the luck of this place, that is exactly what we got-something bad.

Vampirism and the art of the zombie are not truly all that far apart in a way. Both involve the reanimation of the dead. Grated, vampires are far more 'alive' than their shambling 'cousins', but one or two of the core concepts are very much the same. So I sat and observed the new cross breed for a time from a roof top and made some observations.

One: they are very fast! No evidence of the 'stiffness' of limbs most zombies seem to suffer.
Two: At first glance I want to say they are smart, but it is more of a cunning and instinct that is ruling them rather than intelligence. They did not simply 'follow the target' but feigned and tried to trap and corner. Their attacks were not random either, but aimed at taking down their prey as quickly as possible.

I watched several engage in attempts to deal with this new thing the others have given the name 'feral vampire' which does actually fit, because I don't see how one could simply call it a zombie anymore. Some vampires reminded me of how I fare against a Fadebeast when they tried to kill these things while a few were mildly annoyed (if that) and went through them like a tank through a house.

Questions remain. Was this a natural evolution due to conditions? Some zombies have managed to bite and feed from some of the younger of our kind. Could the quality of our flesh and blood and its 'magicks' be interacting with the necromantic powers that reanimate them? As I said, some of the magick is first cousins to each other so it would not surprise me if A and B simply joined and made a C- So to speak.

Also, we should never forget some of our kind love to tinker with things. There are some powerful necromancers lurking about and others with skill sets that could accomplish such things if they put their efforts to it. Or is it an effect of the Nexus still being open? When that void the elder vamps said they were trapped in suddenly ruptured, gates between here and there are still open. First they came, then the zombies and the fadebeasts, now these. Considering the wraiths that lurk there within and what my own pet wraith hints at they are still capable of, who can say what exactly is the effect? Despite all the reading I have done in my own tomes and Nanna's grimores, I have seen nothing like this even hinted at before.

I was about to leave my perch and go inspect one closer when I discovered I too was being watched. The thing was on top of me in a flash, and I could tell quickly it had a touch of intelligence to it. Like a wolf with a chimp's brain. (Well, a slow chimp, but that is bad enough!) I finally managed to kill it and draw a sample when several more appeared. I managed a second, but the others forced me to run for safety. Let the 'tanks' among us deal with them for now.

*pauses in her writing and looks at the vial and fang she managed to gain from her experiences*

A few spells might tell me more in time and better prepare me for future encounters. More later. I need a bath after all of that. Yuck!

[Zodiac]

Volume 7. Page 56
4/29/12 (time not noted)

go to sleep you little baby
go to sleep my little baby

your momma gone away and your daddys gone to stay
didnt leave nobody but the baby

go to sleep you little baby
go to sleep my little baby

everybodys gone in the cotton and the corn
didnt leave nobody but the baby

dont you weep pretty baby
dont you weep my pretty baby

shes long long gone with her red shoes on
gonna need another loving baby

dont you weep pretty baby
dont you weep my pretty baby

you and me and the devil makes three
dont need no other loving baby

go to sleep you little baby
go to sleep my little baby

come lay your bones on the alabaster stones
and be my ever loving baby

I luvs you more~

lyrics from the song 'Go To Sleep You Little Baby' from the film 'O Brother Where Art Thou'

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 62
5/9/12. 4:15AM

Over a week has passed since the handfasting, and the pair of us are still going as always which is a very good thing. Too often in my life I have seen couples suddenly 'change' after binding themselves to another. This was never meant to be in the eyes of the Goddess (or any deity, I imagine) when it comes to such things. All one truly has done is make a public promise before all who matter to them and the gods, and does so small a gesture truly change the feelings of 2 people if those feelings were there to begin with?

Apparently so with some (mortal and immortal) Sad actually. All I know is I was proud to be out there like that and so was she. End of story.

A few plans once some things settle down. A bit of private time just to relax and take things in and just hang out together sounds so wonderful.

Pandora's Box is now open for business. Mostly the curious so far, but lining up a few customers for private readings so far. One inparticular made the entire experience of 'can I book an appointment' sound like an episode of Mission Impossible. I can't blame some, of course, they already run the risk of exposing some aspects of themselves to me by doing this and gods forbid everyone else sees these things as well. The poor dear. I suppose there is no way to get myself notarized and have a certificate saying 'secrets shall be kept as a professional courtesy' for the wall. Like anyone would believe such a thing anyways. We are a suspicious breed by nature after all.

And flipping thru you, old friend, I see I forgot to include something that happened in March that was noteworthy. On the 17th, I found myself with an unusual houseguest for a week. It was during a very odd time in my life. My wacky little terrorist friend, Rabies, had been sent to the SR and it occurred to me she might find herself in more trouble despite the fact she was gone. So I took it upon myself to go and find Hime- her pet Akita hound. The dog and I always got along, but that was in limited time frames, but as a 7 day guest it was quite fun and a big round of 'don't you dare pay attention elsewhere or something may get broken' especially when Ginny and her decided it was play time.

Well, enough for now. So many things to do still. I keep telling Tempy the universe will fall apart if we decide to take some time away, but I guess we will have to come back with one big broom and dustpan and have our work cut out for us when we do. Such is life. Or whatever we are now.

More laters~

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 80
6/20/12. 4:23AM

I collected more samples today. It appears the woods around us are suddenly teeming with plants that appear to have possibilities for spellworks. Not always easy to find, and some continue to sell them off on our new auction site. (V-Bey?) The prices are dubious at times. No one is sure of the true value of them, so I am selective in my purchases. What sense paying large amounts for something that may be next to worthless?

I also took stock of my older collection of 'samples' today. The collection continues to grow (I will need a bigger closet at this rate) Items for 63-79 (NOTE: SEE REFERENCE LOG FOR NAMES OF VAMPIRES INVOLVED) have been bagged, boxed, and stored properly. A couple months back I used from Samples 29 and was happy with the results. Part of me feels guilty for this in a way. I equate it to storing away bullets with people's names on them and that pretty much is what it is. This is the way things have been done since I was a child. Watching Nanna be opened armed with new friends and such, yet skillfully snatching bits and parts that would hold the aura of the person and keeping them safe just in case. Cursing was not always the end results. Sometimes blessings require the very same items as well, and some of my recent efforts in that direction (Sample 42 comes to mind) is proof of that.

Be prepared,
Ruthless if needed,
Survive!

And I am doing just that.

Goddess help me.

Outside of questioning the games I am playing with my karma at times (does so many blessings negate a curse?) My life moves smooth and calm now. Of course that is the time to wonder the most what is lurking around the corner next. Perhaps 'Worse' is there like some giant evil clown. A big happy smile on his face as he holds a giant mallet in one hand and a list with my name on top in the other?

Ick.

The masses continue to debate the 'blood thieves' and their 'offers' to us. We can't (as a race) agree on anything, so how this will work is beyond me. One group wants to accept them into the 'club' while the other (of which I agree with) wants to run them out of town totally. I wish they would do more than speak their catch lines actually. I am most curious as their thinking and such, but the ones I have found seem able to appraise me and demand I sell my blood to them. Too many sub issues keep cropping up in this decision and all it does is prove to them how divided and weak we truly are. There cannot ever be a Vampire nation (let alone the Council idea that was tried before) because we all too focused on ourselves and what's in it for me rather than the bigger picture. If the majority says yes to them, what is to control the ones who still think it's a bad idea? And if we say kill them all, then what is to stop those who decide to deal anyways? That is the problem. We can't even police ourselves fairly and properly without someone crying foul about it all. We all have our own biases as well as personal goals to consider. I feel it now as well in some of my thinking, especially when I read backwards into earlier entries in you, old friend. I am changing now. Slowly, but yes I am. My views are slowly shifting away from what I was to something else and I am not sure I like it at all.

On a pleasant note, I finally finished revamping (ouch!) the mini bus. It certainly stands out in the crowd now. Is good advertisement for Pandora's to be sure (matches some of the t-shirts we made) and it catches the eye as I tool around town on errands. Perhaps later this summer Tempy and I will brave a 'road trip' somewhere different for a few days. The sun shades work good, so we'd be kinda reversed. Sleep all day, drive all night (just like the song always said) but perhaps a change of scene is needed. Vanishing for a few days for a honeymoon (for lack of better words) is one thing, but this will be an adventure type of deal.

I'm excited anyways.

I think that is enough for now, old friend. See all the details in the sub books if you must. I will stack you all together as always. I want to spend time with my love now. Just roll up in her arms and let everything be forgotten till tomorrow.


***

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 89
7/5/12. 4:57AM

Was a very odd 4th of July for me this year. To this little American Gypsy, the 4th was always one big colorfest in the sky with all kinds of fun things to do (if we were in the right place) and fat wallets to help empty along with carnival games and treats.

But this is Canada. I had people ask me why I had a CLOSED FOR THE HOLIDAY sign in Pandora's window. I keep forgetting we ain't in the USA anymore. Maybe next year get a road trip in and see some fireworks proper. Childish, I know, but I still love em' . Perhaps another observation I have about my nocturnal 'brothers and sisters in blood'. They are so quick to dismiss so much from their original lives. Even the pleasant and good things that once gave them a measure of happiness they act like its trivial now. Childish. Personally I think that’s the problem. Everyone tells me that if I am careful, I could 'live' indefinitely. 'Forever' is such an over used BS term, but living a lifespan of hundreds (if not more) years is indeed possible.

Notes to self concerning the potential unlimited lifetime:
A personal to-do list.

1: Never forget how to dance on the clouds

2: Take time to appreciate the little things still

3: Take moon baths

4: Plan impossible gardens and then actually make them happen

5: Read! Read anything and everything. And learn to understand it all

6: Be like a bumblebee. Science and people who design airplanes say it is impossible for a bumblebee to fly. But it does it anyways.

7: See children as the future and not your future meals

8: Invite strangers to tea and have some of the chairs occupied by animals (stuffed and real)

9: Have a measure of pity on the living. For once, you was just like them.

10: Love and lust. 2 very different animals.

11: Take time to swing on the swings.

12: Remember. A dog isn't stupid. It can half understand what you are saying. Can you speak dog?

13: Always have time to enjoy tea with the moon.

(more laters. still time to set off some fireworks. YAYAYAYAYAYAYA! Goddess bless America!)

***

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 102
8/2/12. 2:37AM

What do you do the night after you helped save a city? I am not sure, but I know I ain't going to no damn Disneyland, I can say that much.

I think it began when Velveteen and I (the scamps we are) decided to pay Mrs Broussard a visit. A courtesy thing. Welcome her to the neighborhood and all that. (Yeah-right!) Was not hard to locate her at all, but the problem came when we tried to find the spot. My readings showed her somewhere in Coastside, but we could find no building with the matching interior. We had heard rumors of course of the organization building up their own private fortress of course and we agreed it would be found here in Coastside. 2 days later Tempy's sire made the discovery and the rush was on.

It took us all of 2 days to conquer the fortress. I finally saw Ty working like the machine it was rumored to be. This was not a bounty hunt-far from it. Every collective skill the group of us had to progress onwards and upwards. As for me, I had a flashback to human days. I was what is known as a 'short order cook' on occasion when the tribe decided to camp out for a few days and provided I had the proper fake ID to back me up. It meant speed. Get those greasy burgers up and out as fast as possible, same for breakfast too. I am not sure what was worse-feeding a hungry breakfast crowd or keeping them all in spirits like an assembly line. But serving eggs got me minimum wage. Last night was simply awesomeness in motion. I sat outside watching the lights inside begin to blink out as they rendered it to nothing more than another deserted building in Coastside.

Was a beautiful sight.

And on a odd note- tonight is my 're-birthday'. Hard to believe how much has happen in just one year. From pulling myself up off of the floor of my old shop after Scorpia turned me till now has been filled with joys and sorrows, but the joys outweigh the sorrows. Some things can never be changed or made right, but the rest has been doors opened to me that would have stayed firmly locked and barred against me if I was still alive. Year one has been a trip with the ups and downs.

Year two begins now. So as my dear Randy used to say to me when we went for a drive. Sit down, hold on, shut up, and enjoy.

One life! I'm gonna live it up!
I'm takin' flight, I said I'll never get enough
Stand tall, I'm young and kinda proud
I'm on top as long as the music's loud

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool cause it's a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go- you're mad
You've got another thing comin'

That's right, here's where the talkin' ends!
Well listen this night there'll be some action spent
Drive hard, I'm callin' all the shots
I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks

If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go- you're mad
You got another thing comin

In this world we're livin' in we have our share of sorrow
Answer now is don't give in aim for a new tomorrow

Oh so hot, no time to take a rest yeah
Act tough ain't room for second best
Real strong - got me some security
Hey I'm a big smash, I'm goin' for infinity yeah

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool cause it's a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go- you're mad
You've got another thing comin'

(lyrics from the song by Judas Priest. Used without permission here)

[Zodiac]

Volume 7 Page 107
8/8/12. 4:23 AM

Was rooting around in one of Nanna's old trunks that Randy had returned to me (side note: Need to take care of that soon) and found a card she had given to me as a child. It kinda goes hand in hand with the "Notes to self concerning the potential unlimited lifetime" (see pg 89 this volume) It was originally called 'How to be an artist' and I did not think she meant painting and such, but a way to view life itself. I added the 'mystic witch' to it and am writing a copy in here (the original is framed and hanging near the table Tempy and I have our 'tea gabs')

How to be a mystic witch:

Stay loose! Learn to watch snails. Invite someone dangerous to tea. Make little signs that say 'YES!' and post them all over your house. Make friends with freedom and uncertainty. Look forward to dreams. Cry during movies. Swing as high as you can on the swingset by moonlight. Cultivate moods. Refuse to be responsible. Take lots of naps. Give money away. Do it NOW!- the money will follow. Believe in magic. Laugh a lot. Celebrate every glorious moment. Take moon baths. Have wild imaginations. Transformative dreams. Perfect calm. Draw on the walls. Imagine yourself. Giggle with children and listen to old people. Open up. Drive in. Be free. Bless yourself. Drive away fears. Play with everything. Entertain your inner child. Try and be innocent. Build a fort with blankets. Get wet. Hug trees. Write love letters. Never get old. Never become too busy for the little things.

Add my own from the other entry. I keep adding to this as time goes on.



With my 're-birth' day passing recently, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on the past now. Too much unfinished business behind me yet. Lorette helped me through a large part of it, but some points do remain. My rl 'mother' (may the gods rain fire, damnation and **** on her head) still has much to answer for. The other day I got another letter from one of the tribe who still speaks to me. Her insanity continues now with every town they stop at. In part I cannot blame them considering what happened when the tribe set up near here last year. The old fears die hard in us whose ancestors dealt with vampires in the past. But the legends are not all truth (or else we newer ones lack the abilities of our new ancestors of the past or have not lived long enough to gain them) A bite on the lip in a excited kiss does not make a man ones thrall. My Randi and others are dead in a zealous zeal to keep them safe from the old danger returned anew, and words tell me this still continues even where the danger is not present. She has taken control and dares to dictate life and death now....

Thanks to a silly girl who finally kissed her childhood sweetheart like a woman would.

A time of remembrance, and a road trip beckons soon.

(NOTE: the above passage is reference to
Home is where the hate is
A solo story done about Zodiac when her original 'home' came to Harper Rock area)

The 'List' was taken from the remains of a card I was sent once, but is only the main page and I actually do have this framed by my comp I write at. The author was named 'Sark-89' in the lower right corner but I have no clue what company put this out or anything, so I take no credit for the contents of this entry. the entry previous was my own ideas)