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Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 16 May 2012, 23:14
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
5/16/12
I am not sure why it has taken me so long to start this journal. I know used to keep one before I was turned. I guess I needed the time to get my head on straight. It was so strange to suddenly find out that so many things I'd read about and fantasized about were actually real flesh and blood. I was ecstatic when Mistress Ruth offered to turn me, to make me like her. A vampire, a freaking wielder of magic. Magic. I cannot count the hours I've spent in my own mind trying to lose myself in fictional worlds where magic was real. Now I can work it myself. I'm growing more proficient at it too. At first all I could do was lull humans into a trance, then I learned how to inflict disease and blindness on another. I've got to say, I like the power I've had since turning. Before I was just the geek that everyone picked on. Now I'm stronger, faster, and I can do things that no human can. I think I'm starting to like it a little too much however.
Something happened the other day. Something that worries me. When I turned I promised myself I was going to live off the animals in the wilds around the city, like Mistress Ruth. The other day however I stayed out too long into the morning hours. I was burned badly by the sun, the pain... Well let's just say I won't be making that mistake again. But no sooner than I made it to shelter of the school things took an unfortunate turn. I saw a young man, and a young woman. The must have snuck in, who knows why. The hunger was as bad as it had been the night of my turning, I had lost so much blood when the sun seared it away. They were both young, a couple probably. The boy had on a one of those highschool jackets. He looked every bit the typical jock. The girl was one of those tv perfect bleach blonde types. The type of girl I had never been able to get the time of day from. They took me back through so many old painful memories. And the hunger twisted me. I watched from where I had been hiding as the boy left her alone, and I walked over to her. I didn't even speak to her. The hunger churned up my insides. Her eyes widened as she saw my fangs. I used my power to place her in a trance. Then I fed.
After... The thing that horrified me most wasn't the corpse at my feet. It was the fact that I didn't feel anything. I had just taken a human life. And I felt nothing. What am I becoming?
Re: Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 21 May 2012, 00:13
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
5/20/12
I'm finding myself a little more settled here in the city. I managed to work up enough cash to pick up a new laptop. Finally, no more crappy cafe PCs for me. I despise those things. Cheap garbage. I must have been looking rougher than I thought, a friend asked if I had found a place in the city yet. I guess I can only skulk around the sewers and catacombs so much before it starts to linger. She offered me the use of her apartment sometime. I'm not to proud to say I took her up on it. It's nice to hide from the sun in an apartment rather than a dusty catacomb or a wet sewer.
I've been getting back into the hacking game lately. I'm a little rusty, I'd been out of that life for a long time before I found myself here in Harper Rock. Between the money I've made from that and the money I've gotten for those swords that seem to be all over the catacombs (Why are there so many down there?), I'm doing pretty well. Next I may have to see about working towards finding a permanent place here in the city.
Also... I feel like these pages are the best and only place I can confess these things but... I was weak again. I fed on another human. At least this time I stopped myself before it was fatal. I've been telling myself that blood from rats and rabbits will keep me alive as well as any other, and I suppose I can exist off that. However... there's something different about human blood. When I fed off her I reveled in it. I want to say there's something different in the taste, but I'm not even sure that's it. It's just so much more satisfying. I... I was disturbed by how much I enjoyed the sensation of feeding off this woman. Not to mention, there was something frighteningly arousing about having her there, helpless as I fed off her. I hope Kainai gets back soon, I could use her guidance. Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me?
Re: Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 22 May 2012, 16:28
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
5/22/12
There must be more of a link between sire and childe than I thought. Ruth knew something was wrong. She came to me to help me face up to what I am now. We spoke for some time, she took me out into the wilderness to go rabbit hunting. As we spoke she helped me find the strength and courage to seek to control my impulses. More than that, she even helped me take a new look at some of my less than helpful social habits. I've been reborn into this new life. I think it's about time I left the mistakes of the old one behind. It may take a while to break myself of all my bad habits, but I'm going to do my best.
I went out into the wilderness again today, to test myself. I've felt like I've growing steadily stronger since coming here and I felt like I need to see what I can do. I never cared for the wilderness before, as a human. I was always worried about what might be lurking out there, not to mention the horrible allergies I used to suffer from. Now however... I came into the wilderness feeling like I was the predator. Which I suppose is true now. I pitted myself against a wolf and defeated it easily. It gave me such a thrill I ran deeper into te wilderness, I was a little nervous when I stumbled across the bear, but I was surprised to discover I was able to dispatch it just as easily. It seemed to move so slow. I decided to head back for the city after that, but I had the bad luck to run into a mountain lion on the way. You wouldn't think it would be any more dangerous than a bear. After all bears have all that size and strength. But this thing was quick. It was dangerous. In the end I slipped away, with a new respect for the big cats in these woods.
I spent the evening having a long and refreshingly geeky conversation with a friend. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. By the time we'd finished I was so tired I took her up on her generous offer to stay there for the night on the sofa bed. I need to watch myself a little better around her, she makes me smile and I love her company, but she is spoken for. I need to remember that. Although... I thought there was a moment when... Nah, I'm probably just reading too much into it. I've always been terrible at picking up on people's signals.
Re: Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 22 May 2012, 21:56
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
5/22/12
Entry 2
Dear Journal,
I am an idiot.
Signed,
Perrin
Re: Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 23 May 2012, 13:26
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
5/23/12
I am such a fool. Every time I try to put myself out there I do the wrong thing. I completely misread a situation yesterday and it resulted in a dear cost both for the other person involved and myself. This type of thing is why I don't really interact with people. I never do it right. I was so angry with myself, I needed to blow off some of the anger.
I took off into the woods, I'm ashamed to say I took out frustration on the wildlife. I should have controlled my anger better, all those dead bodies were just wasteful. At least I was able to make use of a couple of the rabbit carcasses.
I've since returned to the catacombs, they may be dark and dusty, but maybe that's where I need to be right now. I can only hope that time and space will help.
Re: Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 30 May 2012, 15:19
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
5-30-12
Wow. Has is really only been a week since my last entry into this journal? So much has happened in a mere seven days. I experienced my first real wounds as a vampire, one of which was incredibly frightening. Thankfully both have cleared up now, and due to the kindness of my new family I made it through them without starving. So far the Grigoris have been very kind to me. I'm... not quite sure what to do with that honestly. I've never really had any family before. Da certainly doesn't count. Hell I took care of that old soak far more than he ever took care of me. Damned lush. I've even taken a room at the Grigori house since I cannot afford a place of my own yet. Ruth was kind enough to give me a tour of the house and to show me to my room. Although I haven't made use of it much yet, it's nice to know it's there.
Also... I met someone. A real modern southern belle. We met shortly after my earlier romantic disaster and I hadn't intended to get involved with someone again yet... but it happened anyway. She says she used to be a terrible cold blooded killer before turning, but I can't really see it. I'm sure she's a dangerous woman when she wants to be, and she is certainly a powerful woman both literally and metaphorically, but I don't think she's as tough as she tries to act. In our time together I've come to know her to be sweet, kind, funny, and more than a little cute on occasion. Not to mention gorgeous. I have spent the past day trying to puzzle out these intense feelings I have for her. I think I know the answer and to be honest it scares the hell out of me. It's been a whirlwind of a romance, but it's the first time I've felt this strongly about anyone. I keep worrying I'm going to do or say something to screw things up.
Bran is doing fairly well in his training. We've got fetch down pat and now I'm trying to teach him not to jump on people when he meets them, it would definitely be a problem if he kept it up when he hits his full size.
Re: Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 06 Jun 2012, 15:48
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
6/6/12
I swear being turned was the best thing to ever happen to me. All it took was dying for my life to finally turn around for the better. I am in the best relationship I've ever had with a wonderful woman, I've got more money in the bank than I've seen in a long time, and all the annoying frailties I had when I was still human are gone. Not to mention the powers I've gained along the way, I can do things now I only ever would have dreamed of before. In fact just last night after I had finished a short hunt I felt my powers grow again, I seem to be able to sense wounds in others. I think I could even heal some the more minor ones. I'll have to test it out soon.
Things are still going amazingly well in my relationship with Bailey, she recently invited me to live with her on a more permanent basis once she buys an apartment. I was stunned, at first I couldn't really believe it, but once I did I gladly accepted. She has been frustratingly stubborn on not letting me help with the cost however. We went to the Grogori House last night and gathered up the few thigns I had there as well as Bran and we moved them into her current place in the abandoned apartment building. I can't remember ever being this happy before.
I was also finally able to introduce Bailey and Ruth at the Grigori house a few nigts ago, I think it went off pretty well... Then again I'm not the best judge on these types of social situations, so who knows. Ruth at least certainly seems to approve of Bailey much to my relief. Ruth has been so good to me since my turning that I have really come to value her opinion. She did caution me against rushing into anything permanent too quickly, but everything has just felt so right with Bailey.
Bran is coming along well in his training, although he still seems to think he can jump up on everyone's leg to beg for scratches and petting. Man that's going to be a problem when he's grown.
I'm still more than a bit rusty on my hacking sadly, I've actually been making better money moving relics out of the catacombs lately. I gotta admit, it's fun. The geek in me feels like Indiana Jones. I should really get a hat.
Re: Journal of a wayward geekpire.
Posted: 02 Jul 2012, 05:25
by Perrin (DELETED 2584)
7/1/12
Well. So much to talk about. I had been avoid putting down anything in these pages until things were made public knowledge. Just in case. Yes that sounds paranoid, you're a book journal. Don't judge me. Bailey and I are now happily married, we eloped to Vegas and had a wonderful wedding that could not have been more perfect. We didn't tell anyone at first however, out relationship was and honestly is still rather young. We didn't want to have anyone telling us that we were rushing into things so... better to do it and let everyone else deal with it afterward. We kept it quiet for a time while we simply enjoyed being man and wife.
Once we did tell our respective sires and the rest of the family we promised to have a party since we deprived them of the opportunity of being there for the wedding. I'll likely leave the details to Bailey... I'm not usually one for parties myself but I suppose it's something we should do, especially because most of the family was so kind when we made the announcement.
There is probably more I should go on about, but I received a wound while I was out training earlier today and it cost me an eye, so writing this is a little more difficult than usual. I will write again once my sight is a bit more normal.