Path of the Vampire forum

Natalya encouraged me to start writing one of these because "it might help me to understand myself better."

Crazy *** Russian girl. She cracks me up sometimes. And, I'm glad for her company, too. She even visited me in the Shadow Realm, which was nice. Nobody ever just stopped to sit with me while I was there before. I probably would've spoken with her if it hadn't been for all the head wounds. Felt like an idiot sitting there staring off into space and trying not to drool all over myself like I usually do.

Speaking of that dark, lonely Hell... that was my sixth trip. I feel really... well, that's the thing. I've been feeling less and less emotional with each time I've been sent there... but it's different this time. I feel almost totally blank, now. It takes the most major things to cause me to feel any emotion that isn't rage. I don't think I'd even feel fear for anything short of an air plane crashing in front of me. I wonder if this is just me, or if it's happened to anyone else lately.

Not likely going to find out, though, because I'm not going to share this with others. They might see it as a weakness that they would want to exploit, and I just generally don't want to bother with that kind of ********.

Got a bounty of $2090 on my head. I can't wait for the hunters to try to come after me. It'll be a fun stint, especially once they find out that I'm fighting back. I want to watch their blood fill the streets. To see my bullets imbedded in their bodies.

I don't enjoy the thought of being killed again, though. So I'm going to constantly be ready for a fight.

It's been two deaths since I wrote in this ******* book. I just got back from my eighth trip to the Shadow Realm. All I can think about now, and all that I feel, is an insurmountable desire to kill.

And damn, do I have a list of people now that I'm gonna start putting bullets in upon sight.

It's been six days since Alyss and I were married. It was the quickest ceremony I've ever heard of in my life. Good ol' Vegas. And, the one night honeymoon that we had there was amazing. Though, I plan to give her a real vacation/honeymoon within the next few weeks. I wonder where would be a nice place for the two of us to spend at least a week..

Yeah, I know, I don't write in you enough journal.