And we all fall down
Posted: 06 Feb 2012, 13:16
Not being able to do it anymore, not being able to understand him or to see past the childish antics, it had to end. Sometimes love isn’t enough when you are unsure about the mental health of the man you love. Somewhere deep down inside, past the semi cockles of the body, I want to believe he was just being playful. I had asked, yelled at for things to stop but they shifted and changed into more petty antics. I tried to over look it because my heart broke the moment I ended us. I tried, but we just were not meant to be.
She stopped writing things down from the safety of her friends house. With everything that had occurred, she took refuge at a friend’s and hoped things would work themselves out. Her phone went off, another text message from him. She sighed rolling onto her stomach answering him, affirming it was done with.
The day was coming, dawn breaking the sky melting away the night with the brightness of the big bulb in the sky. She felt the strangest pang in her heart, a sting slowly burned through her veins like she was being burned internally from the mornings rise. She tried not to cry out not wanting to wake any other around her. Sweat bead along her body in tiny red droplets seeping though the pores of her flesh that felt on fire. When it was over she sat straight up in bed whispering his name.
“Vincent.”
Rising from the bed, she didn’t care how unsafe it would be, she fled the haven and searched. No matter how much she searched she couldn’t find his trace in the city. Panic spread quickly. She went back to the house they shared, seeing the phone on the doorstep. She followed his scent that lingered in the air. She’d almost missed it, almost lost his scent passing the ring that lay on the ground. In her dainty deadly fingers she lifted the piece examining it beside her own.
She had never really cried in her life. Only two times could she think of her eyes watered enough to blink a tear, this made a third time. Never once did she think that ending the relationship would cause him to kill himself. Maybe she never assumed herself this vital in anyone’s life she would be. She carried the ring back to the house and sat on the couch. The Xbox 360 controller sat beside her but there was no desire to pick it up. In the silence of the house she sat there staring at the two rings wishing for once he would come walking through the door doing one of those things that had irritated her to no end like chewing her hair or nibbling her cheek. Affection had not been her strong suit, at least when he was alive. Now with this death she craved it. And for once, the tears didn’t stop after one or two slight dribbles. She cried, for being foolish and turning her chance at love away so carelessly. No matter her flaws, he loved her still and it took her losing him to know she had loved him as much as he had her, but now it was too late to tell him.
She stopped writing things down from the safety of her friends house. With everything that had occurred, she took refuge at a friend’s and hoped things would work themselves out. Her phone went off, another text message from him. She sighed rolling onto her stomach answering him, affirming it was done with.
The day was coming, dawn breaking the sky melting away the night with the brightness of the big bulb in the sky. She felt the strangest pang in her heart, a sting slowly burned through her veins like she was being burned internally from the mornings rise. She tried not to cry out not wanting to wake any other around her. Sweat bead along her body in tiny red droplets seeping though the pores of her flesh that felt on fire. When it was over she sat straight up in bed whispering his name.
“Vincent.”
Rising from the bed, she didn’t care how unsafe it would be, she fled the haven and searched. No matter how much she searched she couldn’t find his trace in the city. Panic spread quickly. She went back to the house they shared, seeing the phone on the doorstep. She followed his scent that lingered in the air. She’d almost missed it, almost lost his scent passing the ring that lay on the ground. In her dainty deadly fingers she lifted the piece examining it beside her own.
She had never really cried in her life. Only two times could she think of her eyes watered enough to blink a tear, this made a third time. Never once did she think that ending the relationship would cause him to kill himself. Maybe she never assumed herself this vital in anyone’s life she would be. She carried the ring back to the house and sat on the couch. The Xbox 360 controller sat beside her but there was no desire to pick it up. In the silence of the house she sat there staring at the two rings wishing for once he would come walking through the door doing one of those things that had irritated her to no end like chewing her hair or nibbling her cheek. Affection had not been her strong suit, at least when he was alive. Now with this death she craved it. And for once, the tears didn’t stop after one or two slight dribbles. She cried, for being foolish and turning her chance at love away so carelessly. No matter her flaws, he loved her still and it took her losing him to know she had loved him as much as he had her, but now it was too late to tell him.